Does this look like a rash to you?
Has anybody seen my teeth?
Oy! My aching knee.
If only they could put youth in a bottle. [sighs] I'd pay anything for that.
Again with the youth potion. How many times do I have to tell you, there's no such thing!
But if there were...
But there's not!
I said, if!
If, schmiff!
Rudy, Yzma's youth potion is a fake. She cheated you. [Rudy looks at his reflection, realizing he's still the same. He looks at the fake potion] And I cheated you too. I'm sorry. [Rudy pats him on the shoulder, making him feel better] I guess we better go tell the others.
I never knew that was an elective office.
Yzma for emperor!
Thank you, thank you! I'd like to thank all the little people, but what do they matter? What matters is me, me, me! And when you elect me as your new emperor, I'm going to be on top of the world!
Stop this charade!
Yzma's youth potion is a fake!
I want you all to look at Rudy and tell me what you see.
Whoo, that is one hot hunk of man!
He's in his golden years. Not getting any younger. Chronologically challenged. [holds up an hourglass]
I got wrinkles, bunions, ear hair! I'm still OLD!
Hey, he's right. I'm still old too!
Me too! And Hildy looks like…
Uh-uh-uh, don't even!
Yzma's a crook! Yzma's a witch!
She's getting away!
Back off, or I'll jump! [looks down below, seeing alligators and piranhas in the ravine] Wait, that can't be right.
Okay. Why don't we all just take a step back? Not you, Yzma. [Yzma grumbles annoyingly]
She stole everything we have!
Yeah, we didn't chase her all the way down here for nothing! Nice moves back there, Hildy.
Oh! What about you? Pouncing like a wildcat.
Hey, I just realized something. We chased Yzma all the way down here.
Didn't I just cover that?
Don't you see? We're busting moves like a bunch of teenagers!
So, what you're saying is, even though the potion was fake, we're only as old we feel.
That's almost like you should (all) thank Yzma for robbing you of every last cent. [laughs; then realizes] Wait, that can't be right.
Let's get her!
Stand back! Don't make me use this! [takes out her potion]
Ooh!
Your cough medicine?
No! My most fiendishly diabolical potion ever! When I drink this, you won't be able to lay a finger on me! [cackles evilly and then starts to choke]
GET HER!
Aww. How cute! She's a cutie pie!
See? I told you so. [a condor swoops in, grabs her, flies off far away]
That's weird. Let's all reflect on these lessons on our way home tonight.
Well, everyone, back to the alley.
You're living in an alley?
Well, sure. We sold our house to you. I got dibs on the cardboard box!
This is awful. I've got to find them a place to live. But where can I find a gigantic house with 30 extra bedrooms? Where? Think, think, think!
You thinking what I'm thinking?
Too much salt in my spinach puffs?
No, no! Your house!
Right!
Whoa, Nelly! Let's not overreact. You wanna lose your dream house? That house is gonna get us the big thumbs up from Papi.
If I lose the house, I'll let Papi down. I can't let Papi down.
But you tricked Rudy out of that house!
Oh, my! It's true! I took away Rudy's home!
Hey! You got that house fair and square!
Yeah, but he cheated his best friend!
No, he didn't!
Yes, I did! I gotta do the right thing. [runs over to Rudy] Rudy, let's talk real estate.
Papi, I have a confession. I'm not who you think I am. I'm just a humble fry cook. And head delivery boy. That's not all. Chicha's not my wife. None of these folks are my wives. And these aren't my kids. Not even the ones who really are kids. Yeah, and that big house up on the hill, that's not mine either. And Pachita not even a woman. [Pacha takes off his woman's hat disguise] I lied to you, Papi. I just wanted you to be proud of me. I just wanted to get one of these. [holds up a thumbs up] But all I ever got from you was… [Papi gives him a scowled look on his face] Yeah, that. I'm a failure. The truth is I've got nothing.
And I wouldn't trade you guys for anything.
Well, that would explain why you don't have anything.
For your information, Kronk used to have a big house.
On a hill.
But he gave it away to us old folks.
And he had a girlfriend too. They baked us raisin bread.
He gave up all those things to protect his friends.
You were actually listening to my stories?
I was weeping on the inside.
Wait a second. I really wouldn't trade you guys for anything. Not even for a thumbs up. You see, Papi, you may look at my life and think I've got nothing, but the truth is… I've got everything.
Not yet, you don't. [gives his son a thumbs up and smiles] I'm proud of you, son.
