Yzma quotes from Kronk's New Groove (2005)

Yzma

Welcome to my new secret lab! Souvenir photo? (Kronk: Rats, my eyes are closed.) Follow me! (Kronk: Whoa, looks like someone's been busy.) I've finally done it, Kronk. I've created the elixir of life. The answer to everyone's prayers. Behold the fountain of youth in a bottle! [thunder crashes] Regular and diet.

Yzma

I need gold, Kronk! [realizes what she said; laughs evilly] I mean, you need gold.

Yzma

Big load of happy, coming through!

Yzma

Stand back! Don't make me use this! [takes out her potion] (Kronk: Your cough medicine?) No! My most fiendishly diabolical potion ever! When I drink this, you won't be able to lay a finger on me!

Yzma

Welcome to my new secret lab! Souvenir photo?

Kronk

Rats, my eyes are closed.

Yzma

Follow me!

Kronk

Whoa, looks like someone's been busy.

Yzma

I've finally done it, Kronk. I've created the elixir of life. The answer to everyone's prayers. Behold the fountain of youth in a bottle! [thunder crashes] Regular and diet.

Kronk

Rudy, Yzma's youth potion is a fake. She cheated you. [Rudy looks at his reflection, realizing he's still the same. He looks at the fake potion] And I cheated you too. I'm sorry. [Rudy pats him on the shoulder, making him feel better] I guess we better go tell the others.

Rudy

The others! I almost forgot! They're about to elect Yzma emperor!

Kronk

I never knew that was an elective office.

Yzma for emperor!

Yzma

Thank you, thank you! I'd like to thank all the little people, but what do they matter? What matters is me, me, me! And when you elect me as your new emperor, I'm going to be on top of the world!

Kronk

Stop this charade!

Rudy

Yzma's youth potion is a fake!

Yzma

Kronk, what are you doing?!

Kronk

I want you all to look at Rudy and tell me what you see.

Whoo, that is one hot hunk of man!

Kronk

He's in his golden years. Not getting any younger. Chronologically challenged. [holds up an hourglass]

Rudy

I got wrinkles, bunions, ear hair! I'm still OLD!

Hey, he's right. I'm still old too!

Me too! And Hildy looks like…

Uh-uh-uh, don't even!

Yzma's a crook! Yzma's a witch!

Yzma

Would you excuse me a moment? [runs away]

She's getting away!

Yzma

Back off, or I'll jump! [looks down below, seeing alligators and piranhas in the ravine] Wait, that can't be right.

Kronk

Okay. Why don't we all just take a step back? Not you, Yzma. [Yzma grumbles annoyingly]

Rudy

She stole everything we have!

Yeah, we didn't chase her all the way down here for nothing! Nice moves back there, Hildy.

Oh! What about you? Pouncing like a wildcat.

Rudy

Hey, I just realized something. We chased Yzma all the way down here.

Didn't I just cover that?

Rudy

Don't you see? We're busting moves like a bunch of teenagers!

So, what you're saying is, even though the potion was fake, we're only as old we feel.

Kronk

That's almost like you should (all) thank Yzma for robbing you of every last cent. [laughs; then realizes] Wait, that can't be right.

Let's get her!

Yzma

Stand back! Don't make me use this! [takes out her potion]

Seniors and Rudy

Ooh!

Kronk

Your cough medicine?

Yzma

No! My most fiendishly diabolical potion ever! When I drink this, you won't be able to lay a finger on me! [cackles evilly and then starts to choke]

GET HER!

Seniors and Rudy

Aww. How cute! She's a cutie pie!

Yzma

See? I told you so. [a condor swoops in, grabs her, flies off far away]

Kronk

That's weird. Let's all reflect on these lessons on our way home tonight.

Rudy

Well, everyone, back to the alley.

Kronk

You're living in an alley?

Rudy

Well, sure. We sold our house to you. I got dibs on the cardboard box!

Kronk

This is awful. I've got to find them a place to live. But where can I find a gigantic house with 30 extra bedrooms? Where? Think, think, think!

Angel Kronk

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Kronk

Too much salt in my spinach puffs?

Angel Kronk

No, no! Your house!

Kronk

Right!

Devil Kronk

Whoa, Nelly! Let's not overreact. You wanna lose your dream house? That house is gonna get us the big thumbs up from Papi.

Kronk

If I lose the house, I'll let Papi down. I can't let Papi down.

Angel Kronk

But you tricked Rudy out of that house!

Kronk

Oh, my! It's true! I took away Rudy's home!

Devil Kronk

Hey! You got that house fair and square!

Angel Kronk

Yeah, but he cheated his best friend!

Devil Kronk

No, he didn't!

Kronk

Yes, I did! I gotta do the right thing. [runs over to Rudy] Rudy, let's talk real estate.

Yzma

Oh, how cute.