Look at them. They're really snot and polish.
Yeah. It's "spit and polish."
Snot.
Spit.
Snot!
Spit!
Snot!
Spit!
Snot!
Spit!
Snot!
Whoa, whoa. Easy, kids. Spit, snot, same general neighborhood.
You wanna borrow my house?
And me?
And them, if it's not too much trouble.
Kronk, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Trust me, I am, but not as much as I'd be if Papi finds out I'm a failure, he's gonna come at me with everything. [quickly] The Cold Shoulder, the Frenzied Eyebrow, the Grimace of Doom, the Sneer of Despair, the Crippling Wince of Guilt, the Scowl of Impending Wrath, and worst of all, the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.
What's wrong with Kronk?
Duh. You made him look like a big fat liar in front of Miss Birdwell.
Hey, don't guilt-trip the kid! It's not his fault.
No, he's right. I've got to help him.
Pacha.
You saw the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection. We have to do something before his father gets here.
Too late, he's here.
Papi, I have a confession. I'm not who you think I am. I'm just a humble fry cook. And head delivery boy. That's not all. Chicha's not my wife. None of these folks are my wives. And these aren't my kids. Not even the ones who really are kids. Yeah, and that big house up on the hill, that's not mine either. And Pachita not even a woman. [Pacha takes off his woman's hat disguise] I lied to you, Papi. I just wanted you to be proud of me. I just wanted to get one of these. [holds up a thumbs up] But all I ever got from you was… [Papi gives him a scowled look on his face] Yeah, that. I'm a failure. The truth is I've got nothing.
But Kronk, you've got us.
And I wouldn't trade you guys for anything.
Well, that would explain why you don't have anything.
For your information, Kronk used to have a big house.
On a hill.
But he gave it away to us old folks.
And he had a girlfriend too. They baked us raisin bread.
He gave up all those things to protect his friends.
You were actually listening to my stories?
I was weeping on the inside.
Wait a second. I really wouldn't trade you guys for anything. Not even for a thumbs up. You see, Papi, you may look at my life and think I've got nothing, but the truth is… I've got everything.
Not yet, you don't. [gives his son a thumbs up and smiles] I'm proud of you, son.
