Wendie Malick movie quotes

View Quote Chicha: [smiling] Okay everybody, move aside. [pats her pregnant belly] Lady with a baby comin' through.

View Quote Kuzco: "...I'm a crumbling canyon wall, and I'm taking you with me." Well not today, pal! [shuffling to dance] Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-uh.
Pacha [uncertainly]: You just saved my life.
Kuzco: Huh?
[Yzma is shocked that her potion turned Kuzco into a llama instead of killing him]
Yzma: Take him out of town and finish the job, now!
Kronk: But, what about dinner?
Yzma: Kronk, this is kind of important.
Kronk: Not even dessert?
Yzma: [starts to protest, but stops] Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.
Kronk: [hopefully] And coffee?
Yzma: All right, a quick cup of coffee. Then take him out of town and finish the job!
[After Kuzco realizes he's been turned into a llama]
Pacha: What happened?
Kuzco: [trying to calm down] I'm trying to figure that out, okay? [falls and starts whining again] I can't remember! I can't remember anything! Wait a minute. [turns towards Pacha] I remember you! I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was. And then you got mad at me-- [gasps in shock, then turns back to Pacha angrily] Then you turned me into a llama!
Pacha: Wha--! No, I did not!
Kuzco: Yes, and then you kidnapped me!
Pacha: Why would I kidnap a llama?
Kuzco: I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me!
Pacha: What?!
Kuzco: [pauses] You're right. That's giving you way too much credit.
[Pacha and Kuzco are swinging to safety]
Pacha: Don't worry your Highness. I got ya. You're safe now.
[The vine from which they are swinging from catches, spins them around numerous times and binds them firmly to a log]
Kuzco: Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?
Pacha: No, no, no. It's-It's okay. This-This is all right. We can figure this out.
[The log starts to break in two]
Kuzco: I hate you.
[The log breaks sending them plummeting to the ground]
Pacha & Kuzco: Nooo!
[Tied to the log, they drop into a fast-flowing river, hit a number of rocks, then luckily are bounced into far calmer waters]
Kuzco: I don't know about you, but I'm getting all funned out.
Pacha: Uh-oh.
Kuzco: [resigned] Don't tell me: We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: Yep.
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likely.
Kuzco: [pause] Bring it on. [yells as they go over] Boo-yaaa!
[Kuzco is washing his mouth out with water]
Pacha: For the last time it was not a kiss.
Kuzco: Well, whatever you call it, [Kuzco spits the water onto Pacha's fire, putting it out] it was disgusting. And if you would've done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we all could have been spared your little kiss of life. [Kuzco shakes off the water from his fur which puts out the fire Pacha has just re-lit] But now that you're here, you will take me back to the palace. I'll have Yzma change me back, and then I'll start construction on Kuzcotopia. Oh yeah!
Pacha: Okay, now look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I just think if you really thought about it you'd decide to build your home on a different hilltop.
Kuzco: [completely uninterested in what Pacha was saying, Kuzco finishes off drying himself with Pacha's poncho] And why would I do that? [Kuzco throws the poncho over the fire, putting it out again]
Pacha: Because [controls his anger] deep down, I think you'll realize that you're forcing an entire village out of their homes just for you.
Kuzco: And that's bad?
Pacha: Well, yeah. Uh, nobody's that heartless.
Kuzco: Mmmm. [pauses] Now take me back.
Pacha: What? Wait, wait. How can you be this way? All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you.
Kuzco: Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the programme, eh, Pacha?
Pacha: You know what? Someday, you're gonna wind up all alone and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Kuzco: [sarcastically] Thanks for that, I'll log that away. Now, for the final time I order you to take me back to the palace.
Pacha: Looks to me like you're stuck out here because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.
Kuzco: [imitating Pacha] Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back. Me, me, me. [Picks up an acorn and throws it at Pacha, hitting him on the head. Pacha looks round angrily] Huh? What? I didn't do anything. I didn't - Somebody's throwing stuff.
Yzma: Kronk, why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Whoa now!
Yzma: A really, really, big, stupid monkey named Kronk!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Ouch.
Yzma: And would you like to know something else? I never liked your spinach puffs. Never!
[Kronk gasps and visibly upset as his shoulder angel pats him]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: That's it! [**** trident] She's goin' down.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Now guys, from above, the wicked shall receive their just reward. :[they look to the heavens and notice a chandelier as an angel chorus sings]
Kronk, Shoulder Angel, and Devil simultaneously: That'll work.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: [while Kuzco in a bag is about to go over a very large waterfall] Listen big guy, I got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one: [points to Kronk's Shoulder Angel] Look at that guy! He's got that sissy, stringy, music thing.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: We've been through this; it's a harp, and you know it.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: All right; that's a harp, and that's a dress.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Robe!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Reason number two: [as he does a one-handed handstand] Look what I can do!
Kronk: What does that have to do with any—
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: No, no, he's got a point.
Kronk: Look, you guys are confusing me, so, uh.... "be gone", or whatever I do to get rid of you guys.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel and Devil: That'll work. [they poof out of existence]
Kuzco: No touchie.
Pacha: Agh! Demon llama!
Kuzco: Demon llama?! Where![screams]
Chicha: So, what did the emperor want?
Pacha: [clears throat] Oh, you know what, he couldn't see me.
Chicha: [angrily] Couldn't see you? Why not?
Pacha: I don't know.
Chicha: Well-well, that's just rude!
Pacha: Well, he is the emperor. I'm sure he's busy.
Chicha: No, no, no, no, no. NO! Emperor or no emperor, it's called common courtesy.
Pacha: Honey.
Chicha: If that were me, I'd march right back there and demand to see him and you know I would.
Pacha: Sweetie, sweetie. Think of the baby.
Chicha: Pacha, I'm fine. This baby's not coming out for while. But even if it was, I'd give that guy a piece of my mind. That kind of behavior just- just- [snorts]. I gotta go wash something.
Chicha: [To Yzma] You know, I am so sorry that you had to come all this way. But, as I said to you before, you may recall, Pacha is not here. I'll be sure to tell him you came by.
Yzma: Oh, would you, please? That would be just great. [Yzma makes an exaggerated gesture that makes her knock her tea cup off the table] Oops. Silly me.
Chicha: No no. [exhaustedly] Allow me. [Chicha bends down to get the cup. Because she's pregnant, she has trouble picking it up.]
[After a long chase sequence, where Yzma and Kronk fell into a canyon, Kuzco and Pacha have reached Yzma's laboratory and are looking for the human potion in a cabinet]
Pacha: Let's see. Lions, tigers, bears-
[There are no bottles in the human section]
Yzma: Oh my. [Steps out of a shadow holding the potion] Looking for this?
Kuzco: No, it's impossible! How did you get back here before us?
Yzma: Ah.... [Looks confused] How did we get back here, Kronk?
Kronk: Well, ya got me. [Pulls down a chart displaying the progress of the previous chase] By all accounts, it doesn't make any sense.
Yzma: Oh well. Back to business.
Kuzco: [nervous] Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been; but Yzma, you really wanna kill me?!
Yzma: Just think of it as...you're being let go. That your life's going in a different direction. That your body is part of a permanent outplacement.
Kronk: Hey, that's kinda like what he said to you when you got fired.
Yzma: I know. It's called a cruel irony. Like my dependence on you.

View Quote Tipo: Mom, Mom! I think I'm still growing! Measure me again!
Chicha: All right, Tipo. Stand still and let's see.
Chaca: Mom, you and I both know that it's impossible for him to have grown in the last 5 minutes.
Tipo: Mmm! Mmm!
Chaca: Isn't it?
Chicha: [gasps] Look how much you've grown!
Chaca: What? Tipo, get out of the way. It's my turn again. Measure me.
Tipo: Dad's home!
[Kids Laughing]
Pacha: Come Here!
Pacha: Hey, ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Come here. Ha ha ha!
[All Three Laughing]
Tipo: Dad! I ate a bug today!
Pacha: Oh! Was Mom baking again? Heh. Don't tell her I said that.
Chicha: I heard that. OK, everybody, move aside. Lady with a baby coming through.
Tipo: Dad, Dad, Dad! Look at how big I am! We were all measured today.
Pacha: Oh.
Tipo: I'm going through a growth spurt. I'm as big as you were when you were me.
Pacha: Mm-hmm. Sure are.
Chaca: That's not as impressive as my loose tooth. See?
Chicha: Okay, Okay, you two. Our deal was that you could stay awake until Daddy came home. Now say good night.
Both: Dad, do we have to?! [whimpers as cat meows]
Pacha: No, you 2 can stay up. We're just gonna be sitting here telling each other how much we love each other. Right, honey? [coos]
Tipo: Ew!
Chaca: Blecch!
Both: ...GOOD NIGHT. [Both Laughing]

View Quote [the Chipmunks are sent to Dr. Rubin's office after their brawl against Ryan and Xander]
Dr. Rubin: You threatened to climb inside of him and build a nest.
Simon: That was out of line. I'm not even sure that's physically possible.
Dr. Rubin: I should suspend all 3 of you.
Alvin: Please do.
Dr. Rubin: Instead, I have a better idea. Due to budget cutbacks, we are in jeopardy of losing our beloved music program.
Simon: That's awful.
Dr. Rubin: I know. But there is one small ray of hope. Every year, the district sponsors a music competition, and the winner's school receives $25,000. If we win, we can save our program.
Simon: And you want us to perform?
Alvin: 'Cause I didn't think you were a fan.
Dr. Rubin: Why don't you sleep on it?
[she reaches for her jacket, revealing a tattoo of the Chipmunks on her left arm, to the Chipmunks' surprise]
Alvin: Wait a minute! What is that?! That's us!
Theodore: I look skinny.
Dr. Rubin: [shocked that they have noticed] Promise me that you won't say anything. A principal has a certain image to uphold, and if the faculty ever found out about this, I could– [laughs excitedly and bangs on her desk] I just cannot believe that you're actually sitting in my office! I have all of your C.D.'s. I even went to see you last year in Denver. That's where I got this. [her tattoo] It was my birthday. And I was like, "Ah! The Chipmunks! Ah!". So, what do you say, will you represent our school?
Alvin: Honestly, suspension still sounds pretty good to me.
Theodore: Come on, Alvin. Whattaya say? One for all, and 3 for one.
Simon: Well put, Theodore. Very well put. Count us in!
Alvin: [unenthusiastically] Yay.
Dr. Rubin: Go, Eagles!
Theodore: Eagles?! Where?!

View Quote [Back at West Eastman, the Chipmunks are eating lunch with Becca, Valentina, Emily and the other girls they rizzed up earlier in homeroom]
Alvin: So, I'm on Jay-Z's yacht, right? And I say, "Jay, where's Beyonce?" And he says, "She's holding a plate full of cheese balls, turn around." And guess what? She was!
Girls: [laugh]
Simon: P.S., Dave left me in charge. Stayin' up 'til ten, every night. Oh, yeah.
Girls: [laugh]
Theodore: Hey girls, look what I can do! [places a tater tot on the end of a fork and stomps on the part that pokes the food, sending the tater tot flying into the air, which he catches in his mouth]
Girls: Aw!
Becca: You are Theodore-able!
Theodore: Thank you!
Emily: You're so cute!
Ryan: [walks by, "accidentally on purpose" knocking Alvin's food tray onto the floor] Oops! Oh, I am so sorry!
Alvin: [looks over the edge of the table to inspect the damage, then stands back up and shrugs/smiles disarmingly] It's cool, no harm done.
Ryan: Not yet. Girls, please? Private conference. Thank you!
Girls: [sigh and roll their eyes as they get up and leave]
Ryan: [places his tray on the table and looks the Chipmunks straight in the eye] Listen up, rock stars. If you talk to those girls again, you're dead. If you look at those girls again, you're dead. If you even think about those girls...are you thinking about them?
Alvin: Well, I am now...
Ryan: That's it. You're DEAD! [tries to catch the Chipmunks, but they run out of the cafeteria]
The Chipmunks: Run!!!
Ryan: Xander, come on! Get back here, you dirty rats!
[The Chipmunks jump onto a stair railing and slide down, with Ryan, Xander and five other boys in hot pursuit.]
Alvin: Hang ten, bros!
[Reaching the bottom of the stairs, the Chipmunks jump off the railing.]
Simon: Scatter!
[Simon and Theodore scurry in different directions, and Alvin hides behind the staircase, watching Ryan running after Simon.]
Ryan: Go, go! That way! Over there!
Alvin: [comes up with an idea to distract Ryan] Oh, Ryan! [runs up the stairs, Ryan hot on his trail] Hey, slowpokes! Catch me if you can!
[When Alvin reaches the top of the stairs, trying to run away, Xander blocks him.]
Ryan: You're dead, furball!
Alvin: Not! [jumps out of the way right as Ryan and Xander lunge at him] It's wedgie time! [gives Ryan a wedgie]
Ryan: Oh, my butt!!
Alvin: [gives Xander a wedgie and scurries off, laughing maniacally]
Ryan and Xander: [stand up, holding their lower backs and grunting in pain]
[Meanwhile, Theodore, having gotten away from the bullies, hides behind a bench, catching his breath.]
Theodore: Oh, boy. [His eyes land on a large foot with talons, belonging to a giant eagle statue] Uh, eagle. AH! Eagle! Eagle! [runs away]
Ryan: [sees Theodore and Simon] Get them!
Theodore: AH! Bully! Bully!
[Theodore and Simon run away quickly. Simon runs into the bathroom, trying to escape.]
Ryan: This way, this way! [catches Simon] Gotcha!
Simon: Guys, wait, wait! Timeout!
Ryan: It's swirlie time! [he and Xander take Simon into a stall.]
Simon: Come on, come on, guys, this is so 1980s-- [Xander flushes the toilet and Ryan holds Simon by the tail.] --AAH! Please! Please! [Ryan lowers Simon into the toilet, lifts him out, and Simon coughs and sputters.] Oh man! Ugh, come on!
Ryan: That-That's a good look for you.
Simon: Oh, thank-- YAAH!
[Ryan and Xander drop Simon into the toilet and run out of the bathroom. Alvin runs inside to look for Simon, seeing him struggling to get out of the toilet.]
Simon: Can't swim! Help!
Alvin: Grab on, Simon!
Simon: [grabs Alvin's tail and pulls himself out of the toilet] Thanks. [shakes himself off]
Alvin: Are you okay?
Simon: Well, uh... considering that you just saved me from drowning in a toilet, I'm uh... pretty good.
Alvin: I'll be right back. [walks out of the bathroom and into the corridor, and Simon follows him, realizing what Alvin was going to do]
Simon: Alvin? Alvin! We're not going to solve anything with violence.
[Simon and Alvin spot their brother hanging in the locker room. Ryan and Xander are poking Theodore's rear.]
Ryan: It's the fatty ratty.
Theodore: Cut it out!
Ryan: This rat has serious junk in the trunk.
Theodore: Hey!
Xander: Yeah, little fatty.
Theodore: Stop it!
Ryan: He jiggles when I poke him.
[This is the last straw for Alvin and Simon: they lunge at Ryan and Xander with fury. We cut to the outside of the school where Ryan and Xander are heard screaming.]
Ryan: MOMMY!
[Later, the Chipmunks are waiting outside Dr. Rubin's office.]
Theodore: Simon, does this make my butt look smaller? [lowers the bottom of his sweatshirt, covering his tail]
Simon: Theodore, your butt looks fine. Those guys are just jerks.
[Ryan and Xander exit Dr. Rubin's office, their clothes torn up and claw marks all over their bodies. They flinch when they see the Chipmunks glaring at them. Alvin growls and barks viciously at them like a mad dog, forcing the bullies to flee, terrified.]
Dr. Rubin: Gentlemen?
[The Chipmunks see Dr. Rubin, jump off the table they were on, and enter her office.]
Dr. Rubin: You threatened to climb inside of him and build a nest.
Simon: That was out of line. I'm not even sure that's physically possible.
Dr. Rubin: I should suspend all three of you.
Alvin: Please do.
Dr. Rubin: Instead, I have a better idea. Due to budget cutbacks, we are in jeopardy of losing our beloved music program.
Simon: That's awful!
Dr. Rubin: I know, but there is one small ray of hope. Every year, the district sponsors a music competition. And the winner's school receives $25,000. If we win, we can save our program.
Simon: And you want us to perform?
Alvin: Because I didn't think you were a fan.
Dr. Rubin: Why don't you sleep on it? [reaches for her jacket, revealing a tattoo of the Chipmunks' faces over a heart on her left arm]
Alvin: Wait a minute, what is that?
Simon: Wait wait wait wait wait...
Theodore: That's us!
Alvin: I look skinny.
Dr. Rubin: [shocked that they noticed] Promise me that you won't say anything. A principal has a certain image to uphold, and if the faculty ever found out about this, I could— [laughs excitedly and bangs on her desk] I just cannot believe that you're actually sitting in my office! I have all of your CDs. I even went to see you last year in Denver, that's where I got this. It was my birthday, and I was like, "Ooh, the Chipmunks!" [Alvin smiles nervously.] So, what do you say, will you represent our school?
Alvin: ...honestly, suspension still sounds pretty good to me.
Theodore: Come on, Alvin. What do you say? One for all and three for one!
Simon: Well, put, Theodore. Very well put. Count us in!
Alvin: [unenthusiastically] Yay.
Dr. Rubin: Go Eagles! [pretends to screech like an eagle]
Theodore: Eagles?! Where?! [hides and looks around nervously]

View Quote [Suddenly, the crowd VEI-8 erupts into cheers.]
Toby: [smiles and chuckles, thinking the applause is for him and surprised the audience liked his performance] Thank you. Thank you. No, really, thank you. [notices the crowd looking up at a spotlight pointed at an open window] What the...?
[The helicopter flies through the window, carrying Alvin and the Chipettes.]
Alvin: The Chipettes are in the building!
Toby: It's the Chipettes! [runs off the stage]
Theodore: Alvin! [he and Simon bound to the stage]
Alvin: [waves to his brothers] Yo, Theo!
Brittany: [waves to the audience] Hello, West Eastman!
Dr. Rubin: [smiles and runs to the stage]
Jeanette: I'm putting her down, hang on! [lands the helicopter on the circular platform on the stage right as Theodore gets there to greet them]
Theodore: Alvin! [smothers Alvin in a hug]
Simon: [bounds to the platform to greet Alvin and the Chipettes] Double high-five, brother! [high-fives Alvin with both paws]
Eleanor: Yay! [hugs Theodore before running to Simon, who lifts her, spins and sets her down]
Theodore: Woohoo!! [After letting Eleanor go, he runs up to Brittany, where the two of them exchange low-fives and wave to the crowd]
Jeanette: High-five! [tries to high-five Alvin but misses] Oh, oops. [smiles awkwardly]
Dr. Rubin: [goes to the microphone] Ladies and gentlemen, representing West Eastman, it is my great pleasure...
[The Chipmunks and the Chipettes bound off the platform and onto the main stage as "We Are Family" starts playing in the background.]
Eleanor: This is such an honor! [giggles]
Theodore: For you, or for us?
Alvin and Brittany: [in unison] For us. [their faces light up] Jinx! Double-jinx! Triple-jinx! Quadruple-jinx! Infinity-jinx!
Jeanette: [interrupting them] GUYS! We get it! [Alvin and Brittany smile at each other] Huddle up, gang! [The six of them do so]
Simon: [whispers] Here's the plan...
Dr. Rubin: ...for the first time ever, I give you the Chipettes and the Chipmunks!
[The Chipmunks and the Chipettes break the huddle and start singing as the song explodes into the foreground.]

View Quote Kronk: Machu Picchu!
Rudy: [running over to Kronk, in his Mrs. Kronk disguise] Kronky-wonky! [jumps into his hands]
Kronk: Rudy!
Papi: Who is this?
Rudy: Why, I'm the lovely Mrs. Kronk.
Papi: Kronker!
Kronk: Right, I'll go check on dinner. [drops Rudy and dashes into the kitchen]
Rudy: [annoyingly enters the kitchen] Hey, is that any way to treat the lovely Mrs. Kronk?
Chicha: I thought I was the lovely Mrs. Kronk.
Rudy: Look at us. Putting on dresses. Pretending to be women.
Pacha: [enters the kitchen] Kronk, what are you doing?!
Kronk: Dinner rush. I've got four specials and I've got a party of ten coming at 8:30.
Rudy, Chicha, and Pacha: Kronk!
Papi: Kronk? [Kronk screams and runs back into the kitchen] Kronk! [follows him into the kitchen] Let me get this straight. She's Mrs. Kronk, and she's Mrs. Kronk? [points to Chicha; to Rudy in disguise]
Kronk: Papi, I can explain.
Girl: I'm the lovely Mrs. Kronk.
Boy: Ow. You're stepping on my face.
Kronk: Or maybe not.
Papi: Is there anyone in this town who isn't Mrs. Kronk?
Ipi, Hildy, and Topo: Daddy!
Kronk: How about them?
Papi: Who are they?
Ipi, Hildy, and Topo: We're Kronk's adorable kids!
Kronk: Oh!
Pacha, Papi, Rudy, and Chicha: Kronk!
Marge and Tina: Sweetheart!
Kronk: Tina?! Marge?!
Marge: Marge.
Tina: Tina.
Mata: Oy.
Papi: Kronk!
Kronk: Well, at least that's everybody.
Kuzco: Boom, baby! Like how I weaseled myself in the movie? Nice.
Kronk: Kuzco?
Kuzco: How you doing, hot stuff?
Kronk: [horrified] Hot stuff?! [holds up a sign reading, "Uh-oh"]

View Quote Chicha: Boy, the place is packed.
Kronk: Yeah, never had this many friends when I was an evil henchman.
Pacha: And look at you now, chef at Mudka's.
Kronk: And head delivery boy!
Man: [speaking fast] Delivery Boy Logo used by permission and may not be reproduced without the express written consent of Delivery Boy Logo 8675309.
Kronk: I get my one-year pin next week.

View Quote Pacha: You wanna borrow my house?
Chicha: And me?
Kronk: And them, if it's not too much trouble.
Chicha: Kronk, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Kronk: Trust me, I am, but not as much as I'd be if Papi finds out I'm a failure, he's gonna come at me with everything. [quickly] The Cold Shoulder, the Frenzied Eyebrow, the Grimace of Doom, the Sneer of Despair, the Crippling Wince of Guilt, the Scowl of Impending Wrath, and worst of all, the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.
Tipo: What's wrong with Kronk?
Angel Tipo: Duh. You made him look like a big fat liar in front of Miss Birdwell.
Devil Tipo: Hey, don't guilt-trip the kid! It's not his fault.
Tipo: No, he's right. I've got to help him.
Pacha: [to his wife] Now come on, Chicha, he's our friend.
Chicha: Pacha.
Pacha: You saw the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection. We have to do something before his father gets here.
Chaca: Too late, he's here.