Mom, Mom! I think I'm still growing! Measure me again!
All right, Tipo. Stand still and let's see.
Chaca Mom, you and I both know that it's impossible for him to have grown in the last 5 minutes.
Chaca Isn't it?
[gasps]
Look how much you've grown!
Chaca What? Tipo, get out of the way. It's my turn again. Measure me.
[Kids Laughing]
Come Here!
Hey, ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Come here. Ha ha ha!
[All Three Laughing]
Dad! I ate a bug today!
Oh! Was Mom baking again? Heh. Don't tell her I said that.
I heard that. OK, everybody, move aside. Lady with a baby coming through.
Dad, Dad, Dad! Look at how big I am! We were all measured today.
I'm going through a growth spurt. I'm as big as you were when you were me.
Chaca That's not as impressive as my loose tooth. See?
Okay, Okay, you two. Our deal was that you could stay awake until Daddy came home. Now say good night.
B Both
Dad, do we have to?! [whimpers as cat meows]
No, you 2 can stay up. We're just gonna be sitting here telling each other how much we love each other. Right, honey? [coos]
Chaca Blecch!
B Both
...GOOD NIGHT. [Both Laughing]
[gasping, continue gasping, inhales, sighs]
Your Highness. Your Highness, can you hear me? Oh, boy. Come on, breathe. Breathe! Ohh. Why me? Ooh! All right. [inhales] Ohh!
LK Llama Kuzco and Pacha
[spit]
LK Llama Kuzco and Pacha
Ohh!
[Kuzco is rinsing his mouth after a failed attempted CPR] [while starting the fire]
For the last time, it was not a kiss.
Well, whatever you call it. [spits water on the fire] It was disgusting. And to think, if you'd done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we all could have been spared your little kiss of life. [shakes the water out of him, which puts out another fire]
But now that we're here, you will take me back to the palace, I'll have Yzma change me back, and then I'll start construction on Kuzcotopia. [builds a house with a rock, sticks, and a leaf] Oh, yeah.
Okay, now look. I think we got off on the wrong foot here.
[drying himself with Pacha's poncho]
Um-hm.
I just think if you really thought about it, you'd decide to build your home on a different hilltop.
And why would I do that? [throws the poncho onto the fireplace, which puts out another fire]
Because...Deep down, I think you'll realize that you're forcing an entire village out of their homes just for you.
Well, yeah! Uh, nobody's that heartless.
What? Wait, wait. How can you be this way? All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you.
Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the program. Eh, Pacha?
You know, someday you're gonna wind up all alone and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Thanks for that, I'll log that away. Now, for the final time, I order you to take me back to the palace.
Looks to me like you're stuck out here. Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.
[mocking]
"Because unless you change your mind, I'm not gonna take you back." Me, me, me. Moo, moo, moo. [throws an acorn at Pacha, who glares at him] Huh? What? I didn't do anything. I didn't do that. Somebody's throwing stuff. You gonna build a fire or what?
[sighs; to himself]
He's never going to change his mind.
[sighs; to himself]
How am I ever gonna get out of here? [muttering, shivering, stops shivering]
[During Kuzco's "Funeral"]
And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince... Taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his 18th birthday.
[sobs; tearfully]
Poor little guy.
His legacy will live on in our hearts for all eternity.
Well, he ain't getting any deader! [rips off black cloak to reveal a hot pink extravaganza of an outfit] Back to work. [The attendees quickly toss their candles away and get to work renovating the palace]
Kronk, darling, I must admit you had me worried when you mixed up those poisons, but now that Kuzco is dead, all is forgiven.
Ah. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's dead, all right. Heh heh. I mean, you can't get much deader than he-- then he is right now. Unless, of course, we killed him again.
Hey, look, the royal dresser's here.
I should tell you right now I'm kind of hard to fit.
I wear a 66 long and a 31 waist.
Kuzco is dead, right? Tell me Kuzco's dead. I need to hear these words.
[nervously]
Uh, do you need to hear all those words exactly?
[drops her plate of wings; angrily clenches her teeth]
He's still alive?!
Well, he's not as dead as we would have hoped.
Just thought I'd give you a heads-up, in case Kuzco ever came back.
Yeah, that would be kinda awkward, especially after that lovely eulogy.
You think?! You and I are going out to find him. If he talks, we're through! NOW LET'S MOVE!!!
[awakens and scared in pain]
DAD, LOOK OUT!
[to Tipo]
Tipo, what is it?
I had a dream that Dad was tied to a log and was careening out of control down a raging river of death!
All right, all right, it's okay.
It's okay, it's okay. Tipo, calm down. It was just a dream. Your dad's fine. He just went back to see the emperor.
Oh. Like you told him to, 'cause you're always right.
Chaca Well, in my dream, Dad had to kiss a llama.
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
Chaca It could.
Chaca Yeah-huh.
Chaca Yeah-huh.
C Chica
Good night, you two.
Chaca Yeah-huh. Yeah-huh.
[sighs, sniffs, and gulps]
Yeech.
So, there we were standing on the cliff, and the ground started to rumble. And just as it started to go, he grabbed me before I fell. Do you believe that? [Kuzco finds Pacha in a field of llamas; to his herd] You know, call me crazy for following this guy all the way out here, but as much as he tries to deny it, I know there's some good in him. Besides, I couldn't leave him out there by himself. He's a lousy llama. I mean, a really lousy llama. [smiles at Kuzco, who approaches him]
Hey, listen, Pacha, you know, what I said to you back at the diner, that, I didn't really...
[holds up his hand to stop him]
So, you tired of being a llama?
[sniffles and sobs]
YES!! [Kuzco and Pacha rush through the village to Pacha's house]
Okay, we're just gonna stop at the house and get some supplies.
And we'll be on our way, right?
I Ipo
[They come across Topo and Ipi playing checkers]
Hey there, Pacha! Hey, y'know you just missed your relatives.
I Ipi
Yeah, we just sent' em up to your house!
I Ipi
Well, you see, there was this big guy and this older woman who was... [to Ipo] Well, how would you describe her?
I Ipo
Eh, scary beyond all reason.
[Both Pacha and Kuzco are in shock] [At Pacha's house, Yzma is having tea with Chicha while posing as a long-lost relative] [pouring tea into Yzma's cup]
So, remind me again how you're related to Pacha?
Why, I'm his third cousin's brother's wife's step-niece's great-aunt. [Chicha gives her a suspicious stare; chuckles nervously] Twice removed. [sips her tea]
Isn't that right, Kronk? [Kronk is playing jump rope with Tipo and Chaca]
Chaca 99 monkeys jumping on the bed!
One fell off and bumped his head!
[Yzma is annoyed]
You know, I am so sorry that you had to come all this way. But, as I said to you before, you may recall, Pacha is not here. I'll be sure to tell him you came by.
Oh, would you, please? That would be just great! [makes an exaggerated gesture that makes her knocks her teacup off the table] Oops. [Nervousness in chuckles] Silly me.
No, no. [exhaustively] Allow me. [has trouble picking up a cup while bein' pregnant]
[dashes up to Kronk, who is jumping rope with Tipo and Chaca. As she talks to Kronk, she's skipping with him while playing patty-cake]
She's hiding something. When I give the word, we search the house.
Okay, but I still have 94 monkeys to go.
[groans and cartwheels back to the table after Chicha picks up the cup]
So, while we're waiting for Paca...
Oh, yes, perhaps we can have a tour of your lovely home.
Y'know, why don't you just come back when Pacha gets home? I'm sure he'd love to show you the... [sees Pacha out the window signaling her to meet him in private] Well, excuse me, won't you? I think I left something in the oven. [dashes away] What?! [Back to Kronk, who a has a jump rope in each hand while Tipo and Chaca jump]
This is my variation of Double Dutch. On the signal, we switch places.
Okay! [With a twirl, Yzma is holding the jump ropes while Kronk is jumping one rope and Tipo and Chaca jump the other; Yzma growls in frustration]
So, we have to get back to the palace, find the lab, and change him back.
Hi there! Aah! [Chicha hits him with a frying pan]
You know what? I don't believe you're really my great-aunt. You're more like my great-great-great...
Go. I'll stall them long enough for you two to get a head start.
You have a lovely wife. They're both very pretty.
Grr! All right! Are you through?
Hey, was it a good idea to leave your family with those two?
Oh, don't worry. They can handle themselves.
[The scene cuts back to at the house, Chicha has managed to shut Yzma and Kronk in a closet by taking away the doorknob]
What do you mean the door's stuck? Try jiggling the handle.
There is no handle in here.
There's not? Are you sure?
Alright, I've had enough of this. Tell us where the talking llama is, and we'll burn your house to the ground.
[annoyed, giving in]
Tell us where the talking llama is, OR we'll burn your house to the ground.
Chaca Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.
That's it! Kronk, break the door down!
Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany.
I don't care, you fool! Get out of my way! I'll break it down myself. One!
Okay, kids, you know what to do.
TA Tipo and Chaca
Right, Mom!
Three! [charges through the closet but then slips on a broom held by Tipo, then rides on a wheelbarrow and is covered by honey and feathers; falls out of the wheelbarrow]
PA Piñata Lady
[The scene cuts to a party where kids are about to whack a pinata]
Okay, children. On you mark, get set... [Yzma takes the place of the pinata] Go!
[The kids start batting Yzma with their clubs]
Ow! Stop it, you little brats! [sees Kuzco and Pacha making a run for it] THERE THEY GO, KRONK! THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!
Ha ha ha! Well, I had a great time. Let's not wait until the next family reunion to get together.
