Ratchet & Clank 2016 quotes

22 quotes · 5 characters
Ratchet & Clank (2016) poster
Characters
Clank David Kaye · 6 quotes
Captain Qwark Jim Ward · 5 quotes
Dr. Nefarious Armin Shimerman · 5 quotes
Grimroth John Goodman · 1 quote

Most scenes together: Ratchet & Clank (3), Ratchet & Captain Qwark (2)

Ratchet & Clank quotes

Page 1 of 2
Plumber

Wait, Huh? Are you still here? All the logos and doohickies already went by. That means it’s over. Go long, No extra little scene at the end of the movie, (sighs, then leaves) If I find out who started that nonsense, So I can plant my boot far up- (Stops, and returns to yell at the viewers to go home.) I Said BEAT IT! Sheesh.

I can totally help.

Clank

I cannot ask a civilian to get involved in something so dangerous.

Whoa, hey, I'm not just a civilian. The rangers are actually my, uh... friends. Why do you think i have so many pictures of them?

Clank

But why are you not in any of them?

Well, somebody had to take the picture, right?

Chairman Drek

How did this happen? Someone explain it to me! [points to Dr. Nefarious] You! You're supposed to understand how they think! How did you not see this coming? And Victor! [grunts] Do you know how many candidates you beat out for your position? I could have hired the Zeezils Brothers! [Zed enters] It's enough to make me want to vaporize someone! [Zed leaves immediately] We're putting our project on hold. I'm ordering all remaining warbots to the Deplanetizer until the heat dies down. [slams his head down on his desk]

Before we make any rash decisions, I wonder if you'd permit me to troubleshoot this for you.

Drek
[sighs]

Go on.

Our question is simple. How do you destroy a team of heroes?

Victor von Ion

Whoa! Whoa! Well, lots of ways, really. Chains? Knives? Guns? An enormous rock? [Dr. Nefarious stares at Victor in disbelief while Drek lifts his head up, revealing a post-it note with a cat drawn on it stuck to his forehead] Rock!

The answer is "from within"! If we continue to fight them with muscle, we'll lose every time. But if we turn one of their own against them... of course, we'd need a weak link. A sad simpleton who'd believe whatever we tell him. A corruptible... [removes the note from Drek's forehead] ...Moron, but who? [shows a picture of Captain Qwark] Who? [Drek stares, not understanding what Nefarious is getting at] Who?

Drek

Hmm... [Nefarious snaps his fingers and points to the picture, finally getting through to the Blarg] Ah! I'm getting an idea, boys! [laughs evilly]

You're a genius, sir.

Drek

I know, I know!

Clank

Hmm... hmm... hmm?

What?

Clank

Apologies. I have not been able to locate your species in my database.

I get that a lot. There aren't many of us left. [from Clank's viewpoint, Ratchet's body is compared with that of Daxter, Dan Johnson and Sly Cooper, none of which match] Not in this galaxy, anyway. I'm a Lombax.

Clank

A Lombax? Fascinating.

Yeah. I crashed on Veldin when I was just a baby. No note, no message, no name... huh, kind of like you.

Clank

Ratchet, we are clearly not prepared for this. We should have contacted the rangers to warn them of the attack!

Haha! Yeah, like they'd know who we are!

Clank

But you said they were your friends!

Whaaaaat...? I think you're quoting me out of context.

[playing recording of Ratchet's voice]

The rangers are actually my, uh… friends!

Do you record everything I say?

[playing recording of Ratchet's voice]

Do you record everything I say?

Cora

Got a long line of citations here. Possession of an illegal gravity repulsor?

Oh, that was a misunderstanding. I thought that space pirate was on the level.

Brax

Operation of a black market accelerator.

"Operation" is a strong word. It blew up as soon as I turned it on!

Cora

Willful disruption of the space-time continuum?

That is a funny story…

Qwark

You're reckless, you're a loose cannon, and you're dangerous! That's my shtick!

Wait! Just gimme a chance!

Qwark

Sorry, no time! Galaxy in jeopardy! Get back out there, and remember, you can do anything... as long as you're me! NEXT!

Qwark

Your protosuit is the most advanced combat armor on the market. And it comes in all the latest fall colors!

Sweet!

Qwark

A neural sensor in your helmet reads your thoughts and telequips the desired weapon into your hands. Try equipping your Combuster! [after a few seconds, Ratchet equips the gun] There you go!

Computer

Combuster equipped.

Wicked.

Qwark

The Combuster is the backbone of the Rangers' arsenal, allowing you to hit targets in a short-to-medium range.

Cora
[Ratchet misfires a few times]

This is embarrassing.

Qwark

The Alpha Disruptor fires a deadly stream of plasma, allowing you to hit multiple targets at once.

[misfires once more, flying all around the training area]

Whoa!

Brax

See? He’s got it…sort of.

Qwark

This little baby’s the Negotiator. Fires multiple long-range, high-impact rockets. Great versus heavy armor. [Ratchet knocks himself off the platform with two Negotiator missiles] Buzz Blades! [several Buzz Blades fly around the room while one chases Ratchet around, yelling in protest] The Warmonger. [Ratchet fires a few rockets, but they turn around and fly toward him] I dunno…the Spiral of Death? [Ratchet fires the Spiral of Death twice, only to accidentally slice the platform in half, making him fall] Fusion Grenade? [Ratchet throws the grenade, but it doesn’t explode on impact and it bounces back toward him, smacking him onto the glass the Rangers were watching from] Wow.

Brax

Dude.

How am I doing? [slides off the glass]

Warbot Defect (Clank)

I must get to Aleero City! [falls over] They are in danger!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, who's in danger?

Warbot Defect

An army is coming. I must warn them!

Hang on, slow down. You've been in a crash! What do you say we get you back to my garage? I'll run a diagnostic and have you fixed up in no time.

Defect (Clank)

Thank you. I appreciate the assistance.

It's no problem. [helps Clank to his feet] So what do I call you?

Defect

I suppose my proper designation is warbot defect 85429– [falls over again]

Maybe I'll just call ya... "Clank". My name's Ratchet. Up and down… There you go. You're a natural. [Clank keeps shaking] Okay, that's enough. [Clank still shakes his hand] Or just keep shaking. That's cool, too.

[last line]

No! Get away from me! Do not stick that thing in... Oh! Oh! Oh! Quit trying to repair me, you moron! I am not a robot! [laughs]

Clank

Blaming yourself and taking responsibility are two very different things

Day after day, I slaved away, creating all the weapons and devices that made you look like a hero! But you're not a hero! You're not even a good villain! You're the galaxy's biggest joke!