The Flintstones (1994) quotes

View Quote Airplane Pilot: We'll have a gay old time the captain has just turned on the seat belt sign... Signaling our descent into the Bedrock area. On your left, you'll be able to see the Grand Canyon in about 15,000,000 years.
Chorus: K-A-V-E
Radio Bedrock
Announcer: Hey! The KAVE accu-forecast for tonight calls for light seismic activity. And a 20 percent chance of meteor showers. Quick traffic update, due to lava flows, Highway One will be closed... Forever!
Chorus: K-A-V-E
Molten Oldie
Fred and Barney: Sow belly, pot of beans
Tie a rope around your jeans
Tell your mom not to wait
You ain't coming home too late
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Twitch
There's a town I know where the hipsters go called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get that itch you can do the Twitch
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
Fred Flintstone: 'Cause the Twitch is finebr
Have yourself a time
In Bedrock
Barney Rubble: Drum solo!
Fred Flintstone: Hey! Watch it, will ya? Finally got my hair the way I like it.
Barney Rubble I'm so excited, Fred. I'm gonna be a father. It's like a dream come true. A son. Someone to carry on the proud name of Rubble. Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Well, you're bound to find something you're good at.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, sure... Hey! Uncle!
Fred Flintstone: Heh, heh, heh.
Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, Betty and I really owe it all to you. We would've never qualified to adopt had it not been for the money you gave us.
Fred Flintstone: Remember, Barn, that's between you and me.
Barney Rubble: I'd like to tell the world what a great guy my best buddy is!
Fred Flintstone: No, no, no! True, it was a selfless, noble act, if I do say so myself. My only reward will be your happiness. I don't need to go blabbin' my good deeds all around.
Barney Rubble: You're afraid to tell Wilma, aren't you?
Fred Flintstone: Afraid? Now, let's get this straight, Rubble. I don't need permission from my wife to make a decision. In my cave, I reign supreme! Su-preme!
Barney Rubble: I won't tell her, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: Thanks, pal.
Barney Rubble: Hiya, Timmy!
Boy: Here you go! Shoot, shoot, shoot!
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Charlie!

View Quote Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the B.C.-52's!
The BC-52's: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey
Twitch!
Well, I know a place where the hipsters go
Called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause they're itching for it down in prehistoric
Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a funky town so
I'll see you down
It's a funky town called Bedrock, yeah
Oh, the Stone Age crowd is twitching proud
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
They do the twitch
Twitch, twitch, come on
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Do it, come on, baby
Do it, do it, do it
Do the twitch like you got an itch, itch
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Itch, itch, itch, itch
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Twitch!
Announcer: Thank you, Bedrock! Thanks, everybody. And remember, don't drink and pedal. Good night!
Fred Flintstone: How 'bout a spin, Betty?
Betty Rubble: No, thank you, Fred. I'll wait till Barney gets here. He started some new job today. I'm not sure what time he gets done.
Fred Flintstone: While we're waiting, how about another carafe of the bubbly? Garcon! Whoops.
Waiter: Don't worry, Mr. Flintstone. I'll have that taken care of right away. Table seven, sonny.
Betty Rubble: Barney!
Fred Flintstone: Barney! Hey, nice skins! Sit down, take a load off!
Barney Rubble: I can't, Fred. I'm working here.
Fred Flintstone: You're a busboy?
Betty Rubble: It's honest work.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, I don't have to fight Dino for my supper. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll get you a fresh tablecloth, sir.
Fred Flintstone: See, Wilma, you were worried he'd never find a job and we'd be stuck with him forever. Ow!
[Barney notices a news broadcast on TV]
All: Flintstone! Flintstone! We want Flintstone!
Susan Rock: The demonstration continues to get uglier at Slate and Company following the unexpected layoff of virtually the entire labor force by V.P. Fred Flintstone. For the Cave News Network, this is Susan Rock.
Barney Rubble: Fred, did you hear what happened to everyone at the quarry today?
Fred Flintstone: Yup. A few hours ago, I sent them all off on a nice, long vacation.
Barney Rubble: You mean, a permanent vacation. [turns to Wilma and Betty, points to him] He fired them!
[Betty gasps]
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! How could you?
Fred Flintstone: I didn't do that.
Barney Rubble: You did too! It's all over the TV!
Wilma Flintstone: Fred!
Fred Flintstone: Who are you going to believe, me or some busboy?
Betty Rubble: That busboy is your best friend!
Fred Flintstone: Best friend? I lost my best friend the day I became an executive! He's just jealous of my hard-earned success.
Barney Rubble: Hard-earned? Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan, huh? How about supply and demand? Hey, Fred! What's two and two?
Fred Flintstone: I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. [holds up a dirty spoon] Now, get me a clean spoon.
Barney Rubble: [angrily slams down tablecloth] That does it! The only reason you got that job is 'cause I switched tests with you.
Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney.
Fred Flintstone: Oh-ho-ho, that's rich! What good would it do me to switch tests with the guy that got the lowest score?
Barney Rubble: Think about it, Fred.
Betty Rubble: Oh, finally it all makes sense.
Wilma Flintstone: You don't believe this, do you?
Betty Rubble: Are you calling my husband a liar?
Wilma Flintstone: This has gone far enough. After everything that we've done for you. We took you into our home.
Betty Rubble: Oh, yeah? So you could show off every chance you got! You used to be such nice people, but now... You're just a couple of rich snobs! Hmm!
Fred Flintstone: Better than being a couple of petty ingrates.
Betty Rubble: Come on, Barney. We are moving out, tonight!
Barney Rubble: Hang on, Betty. I forgot to punch out.
[Barney punches Fred in the face, causing him to faint]

View Quote Barney Rubble: Come on, Fred, usually you're yakkin' my ear off, but today you haven't said two words. Something exciting must have happened up there.
Fred Flintstone: You don't want to know, Barn, believe me.
Barney Rubble: Sure I do, Fred. You're the first one of us to make it out of that quarry. Look at me. I'll probably be working there the rest of my life.
Fred Flintstone: No, you won't, Barn. Take my word for it.
Barney Rubble: Come take a look... It's a dish in the shower, you keep the soap in it.
Fred Flintstone: Barney, there's something we gotta talk about.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, yeah. Later, Fred.
All: Surprise! Way to go, Fred!
Fred Flintstone: Wilma, you shouldn't have.
Wilma Flintstone: Hmm? I didn't. This was all Barney and Betty's idea. Aren't we lucky to have friends like them, Fred?
Pearl Slaghoople: Ohh! There he is! There's my big, handsome son-in-law! Have you lost weight?
Fred Flintstones: Have we met?
Barney Rubble: Can I have everybody's attention, please? I've got something I'd like to say.
Hoagie: I hope it's not another poem.
Barney Rubble: Fred... Betty, Bamm-Bamm and I could not be happier, even if it was me that got that job.
All: Aww!
Barney Rubble: So we got a little something to show how proud of you we are.Congratulations, big guy!
Fred Flintstone: Barney, I can't accept this.
Barney Rubble: Sure, you can.
Fred Flintstone: No, I can't. Take it back.
Betty Rubble: We can't. We had your initials branded on it.
Barney Rubble: It's yours, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: No, it's not!
Wilma Flintstone: Fred, what's wrong with you? It's a lovely gift. He's thrilled to receive it. Aren't you, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: No!
Betty Rubble: Don't you like the color?
Fred Flintstone: It's not the briefcase, it's not the color. I just can't take anything from you.
Barney Rubble: But, Fred...
Pearl Slaghoople: Take a hike, shorty. My Freddie doesn't want that tacky thing.
Barney Rubble: How come, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Because you can't afford it, Barn.
Barney Rubble: Sure I can, pal.
Fred Flintstone: Not anymore. You're fired.
Bird: Fired?
Pearl Slaghoople: Well! Let's not let a little thing like this spoil the party! Conga line!
Hoagie: Conga! Conga!
Barney Rubble: Don't worry about me, Fred. I've been working in that quarry since it was eight feet deep.
Fred Flintstone: Atta boy!
Barney Rubble: There could be a whole new world opening up for me. Maybe I'll take in that franchise show this weekend.
Fred Flintstone: That's the spirit.
Barney Rubble: Hey, Fred, there's just one thing I gotta know. After all these years, how come they're canning me?
Fred Flintstone: Barn, you're a wonderful father, a loving husband, a hard worker, and one heck of a little bowler. But, Barn, none of that counts on an aptitude test. You got the lowest score, pal.
Barney Rubble: The lowest score?

View Quote Barney Rubble: Eh, put it up top.
Wilma Flintstone: Betty, please. We can work it out. We're all civilized people here.
Betty Rubble: It's too late, Wilma.
Wilma Flintstone: Come on, we all said things that we didn't mean.
Fred Flintstone: Speak for yourself.
Barney Rubble: Come on, Betty. Time to hit the road.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! Aren't you even the least bit sorry?
Fred Flintstone: Sure, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ever met the little moocher.
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, Betty.
Betty Rubble: Good-bye, Wilma.
Wilma Flintstone: Oh. They're gone. I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out of our lives.
Fred Flintstone: At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again.
Wilma Flintstone: That's more important than 20 years of friendship?
Fred Flintstone: It is on a hot day. They were holding us back, Wilma. We'll make new friends. There's 4,000 other people in this world! Who needs the Rubbles?
Wilma Flintstone: I do. But I'll tell you what I don't need. I don't need this necklace. You know, I don't need this lamp. And I don't need this television set.
Fred Flintstone: Not the TV!
Wilma Flintstone: I don't need this. I don't need this. I don't think I'll be needing any of this bone china. Because I don't have any friends to invite to dinner. I don't think I'll be using any of these cups or saucers.
Fred Flintstone: You're gonna regret this, Wilma. It's gonna take you hours to clean up this mess. All right, Wilma. Enough of this charade. Come back now, and I'll forgive ya. Oh, you're bluff in', Wilma Slaghoople. You're not going to your mother's. Once around the block, you'll realize the folly of your ways and you'll come crawling back. Please.

View Quote Barney Rubble: It's finally happened, I've become my father.
Betty Rubble: Now, Barney, don't talk like that. This place is fine for now.
Barney Rubble: Come on, Betty. We're living downwind from a family of wild boars. Face it. We've hit rock bottom.
Betty Rubble: Hmm.
Barney Rubble: Come here, little guy. Can you say da-da? Say da-da.
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm!
Betty Rubble: Oh. It doesn't really matter where we live, as long as we're together. Family hug!
Barney Rubble: Betty?
Betty Rubble: Hmm?
Barney Rubble: Exactly where did you get those eggs?
Betty Rubble: Sorry. I think it might be twins.

View Quote Betty Rubble: So glad you're over your cold. Thank you.
Wilma Flintstone: Isn't this nice, Betty? The Flintstones and the Rubbles, all under one roof.
Betty Rubble: Yes, but this is such an imposition. Are you sure it's okay with Fred?
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, absolutely. As a matter of fact, he thinks it was his idea.
Barney Rubble: Hey, Freddie, a couple of cool ones.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, yeah. How about it, Barn? Flintstones and Rubbles under one roof.
Barney Rubble: But it's only temporary.
Fred Flintstone: It'd better be. It'd better be!
Barney Rubble: Yeah!
Fred Flintstone: Ah, Barn, I admire ya. You've lost your job, your dignity, but not your sense of humor.
Barney Rubble: Hey, cut it out, Fred!
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn, you like your steak rare?
Barney Rubble: Yeah.
Fred Flintstone: That one's yours.
Barney Rubble: Hey, hey, stop! Come here, you purple rodent! Don't forget to wash that off before you eat it! Come here! Give me that! Help! Somebody!

View Quote Betty Rubble: Wilma, that is beautiful!
Wilma Flintstone: Well, I have always wanted...
Pebbles: You can't catch me!
Wilma Flintstone: A Halstone original.
Betty Rubble: Mmm.
Wilma Flintstone: Ohh!
Betty Rubble: Now, Wilma, don't be silly! Your husband's a big executive. You can afford it.
Betty and Wilma: Charge it!
Betty Rubble: Bamm-Bamm! Ohh! Bamm-Bamm! No!
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm! Bamm-Bamm!

View Quote Cliff Vandercave: Mr. Flintstone. Stealing office equipment, really. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Is this the kind of example you want to set for your daughter?
Barney Rubble: Where are the kids?
Cliff Vandercave: The bird, please.
Fred Flintstone: First, we want our children.
Cliff Vandercave: Of course.
Barney Rubble: Bamm-Bamm!
Cliff Vandercave: Take one more step, Mr. Rubble, and this quarry's safety record will be severely tarnished. Now, give me the bird.
Barney Rubble: Go on, Fred. Give him what he wants.
Dictabird: What?
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry, I got a plan. We're gonna get the kids back and then we'll rescue you.
Dictabird: What a strategist. I should have signed with Disney. They never would've allowed this sort of thing to happen.
Cliff Vandercave: Ahh! Thank you, gentlemen.
Dictabird: Easy.
Cliff Vandercave: And in the words of my beloved mother, I'm taking the money and moving to a warmer climate.
Pebbles: Help, Daddy!
Dictabird: Let's discuss this, Cliff. May I call you Cliff?
Fred Flintstone: Barney, too much pressure. One, two, three...
Fred and Barney: Nice goin'.
Barney Rubble: Now what do we do?
Fred Flintstone: You get the kids, I'll try and stop this.
Barney Rubble: Whoa!
Dictabird: Cliffy, have I ever told you you have a very distinguished chin?
Cliff Vandercave: Shut up! Ahh!
Fred Flintstone: Whoa!
Barney Rubble: Yo, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Dictabird: Oh, dear, Oh, dear. Too many years behind a desk. Mayday, mayday!
Bamm-Bamm': Hi, da-da.
Barney Rubble: You did it! You called me da-da!
Fred Flintstone: Oh, Barney, you lunkhead! What am I going to do? I gotta think of somethin'. Not now.
Pebbles Wake up, Uncle Barney!
Dictabird: Help, help! Save me! Save me from this mad M.B.A.!
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry. I'll take care of him.
Dictabird: My hero. Yipes.
Cliff Vandercave: Flintstone, kiss your bird good-bye.
Dictabird: Oh, mama.
[after knocking out Cliff]
Miss Sharon Stone: Will there be anything else, Mr. Flintstone?
Fred Flintstone: No, Miss Stone. Take the rest of the day off. [they share a grin] Yabba-dabba-doo! Cliff? It's time for you and me to interface.
Cliff Vandercave: Aah!
Fred Flintstone: Stee-rike!
Cliff Vandercave: [last lines] Nooooooooooooo!

View Quote Cliff Vandercave: Yeah.
Miss Sharon Stone: There. I'm all done with the requisition forms. What do you think?
Cliff Vandercave: It's perfect. Looks just like the real one. Mr. Flintstone, you are about to embezzle a great deal of money. Unfortunately, for you, we get to keep it.
Miss Sharon Stone: We can have Flintstone sign these right away.
Cliff Vandercave: Not just yet. Creatures like this Flintstone are primitive, prone to irrational bouts of integrity. We've got to make absolutely certain he'll do whatever we say.
Fred Flintstone: is the greatest bowler on Earth.
Dictabird: "Fred is the greatest bowler on Earth."
Fred Flintstone: Now you talk, and see how much I can remember.
Cliff Vandercave: Workin' hard? Okay, Fred, are you ready for your first executive action?
Fred Flintstone: Ready and willing. Whatever you need, consider it done!
Cliff Vandercave: Good! I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.
Fred Flintstone: Done... What? Fire Barney? Why?
Cliff Vandercave: Well, for starters, he scored the lowest on the management aptitude test. He's an imbecile. The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll!
Fred Flintstone: But, Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage. I'm his best friend. I can't.
Cliff Vandercave: Fred... If you don't fire him, I will. And then I'll fire you.

View Quote Dictabird: And then, Cliff said, "True. But I've graciously decided to give you all the credit, "since it's your name on all the requisition forms."
Miss Sharon Stone: Mr. Flintstone, I may not be in on Monday.
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry, Miss Stone. I'll tell 'em what you did. They'll let you off easy.
Miss Sharon Stone: I've been a very bad girl. But you have to admit, I was very, very good at it.
Barney Rubble: Come on, do it for Mommy. Who am I?
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm!
Betty Rubble: Oh.
Wilma Flintstone: Thank goodness, you're all right.
Fred Flintstone: Well, I'm not going to jail, but it won't be easy getting a new job. What kind of reference is Mr. Slate gonna give me after I destroyed his quarry?
Betty Rubble: None of this was your fault. Mr. Slate will understand.
Mr. Slate: Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Sure, now he gets my name right.
Mr. Slate: How did this happen?
Fred Flintstone: Mr. Slate, it all started when the Rubbles here wanted to adopt a baby.
Mr. Slate: Not that! How did this happen to Cliff?
Fred Flintstone: Well, you see, Mr. Slate, the machinery went haywire and the rocks got all crushed up and that got mixed in with water and that came all down the hill. Mr. Slate, I'm sorry!
Mr. Slate: Sorry? I love this stuff! I'm gonna name it after my daughter Concretia. Flintstone, you're a genius!
Fred Flintstone: Me? Really? Why?
Mr. Slate: Don't you see? Thanks to concrete, man can now shape his own destiny. The Stone Age is over!
Wilma Flintstone: Ahh.
Mr. Slate: First thing, I want you to hire back all the men, Flintstone. We're going into production immediately.
Fred Flintstone: We?
Mr. Slate: That's right. You are hereby promoted to President of the entire concrete division.
Fred Flintstone: Yabba... That's a real nice offer, Mr. Slate, but unfortunately, I'm gonna have to turn you down.
Barney Rubble: Don't listen to him, Mr. Slate. Fred, it's a great job! This time, you deserve it.
Fred Flintstone: Barney, all my life I wanted to be a somebody. And when I finally did, I turned into somebody I didn't like.
Mr. Slate: Good grief, man, have you lost your mind? This could make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.
Fred Flintstone: I was always the richest man in the world. I just never knew it. So, if it's okay with you, Mr. Slate, all I want is my old job back and my old life.
Barney Rubble: Fred.
Fred Flintstone: And two weeks paid vacation for all the men in the quarry, an annual cost of livin' increase and those little packets of ketchup in the lunchroom.
Mr. Slate: Done!
Fred Flintstone: Thanks, boss. See you at the company picnic.
Mr. Slate: There goes the best executive I ever had.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred, I'm so proud of you.
Betty Rubble: And I'm proud of you, Barney.
Fred Flintstone: I'm starving!
Barney Rubble: Me too!
Fred Flintstone: What do you say we get some breakfast. Snake and eggs for everybody. My treat.
Barney Rubble: Great.
Fred Flintstone: Barney...
Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Spot me a couple bucks? I'm a little short.
Barney Rubble: Not this time!
Fred Flintstone: What?
The BC-52's: [singing] Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're a modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Someday maybe
Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will stay out for the night
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Wilma!
The BC-52's: [singing] We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Wilma!

View Quote Dino: Huh?
Fred Flintstone: Wilma! I'm home! No, Dino! No, no! No, Dino! Bad boy! Bad dog! Good doggie! Bad Dino breath.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! Do you have to get Dino so wound up when you come home?
Fred Flintstone: It's not my fault. Maybe he'd calm down if we had him fixed!
Dino: What?
Fred Flintstone: Here comes the big Daddysaurus!
Wilma Flintstone: How was your day, dear?
Fred Flintstone: I think my Brontocrane's pregnant again. I tell ya, you forget to lock her up one Saturday night...
Wilma Flintstone: Comfortable, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: On my way. All I need's a brew and a good scratch. Which one do you want to do first?
Wilma Flintstone: It does my heart good to see you relaxing after a hard day at the quarry.
Fred Flintstone: I'm telling you, I married the pick of the litter.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred, our garbage disposal has been acting up a lot lately, so I decided that it was time to buy a new one. But when I went to take money out of our savings account... Guess what?
Fred Flintstone: New garbage disposal? New garbage disposal? Why throw good money down the drain? There's nothing wrong with this one. All right, you. Say "ahh."
Pigasaurus: Uh-uh.
Wilma Flintstone: Do you have any idea why there's no money in our savings account?
Fred Flintstone: There's your problem right there. All right, you! Spit it out!
Wilma Flintstone: Where's the money, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Something happened to it. There, I said it.
Wilma Flintstone: We have scrimped and saved for that money. And every time we get ahead, you have to go blow it on some hare-brained scheme!
Fred Flintstone: Now, see here, Wilma! In this cave, I am the king! And...
Wilma Flintstone: And what, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: And you have every right to know, my queen. I gave it to Barney.
Wilma Flintstone: You what?
Fred Flintstone: I know I should've consulted you, but Barney Rubble's my neighbor, my lodge brother and my best friend since the first time I went through the fifth grade!
Wilma Flintstone: Fred Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Wilma, without that money, they wouldn't be allowed to adopt a baby. So go ahead, yell, scream, let the fur fly. Give the neighbors something to talk about!
Wilma Flintstone: What you have just done for the Rubbles... Is the sweetest, most generous thing I ever heard. And I adore you for it. Mmm.
Fred Flintstone: I also bought a new bowling ball.

View Quote Fred Flintstone: A bonus?
Cliff Vandercave: That's right, Fred! You deserve it.
Fred Flintstone: For what?
Cliff Vandercave: Don't be modest, you go-getter, you! And Fred, let me let you in on a little secret. If you really want to become a top executive at this company, you've got to start living like one.
Fred Flintstone: [laughing]
The BC-52's: Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Barney Rubble: Good afternoon, madam.
Woman at Chevrox: Full serve, please.
The BC-52's: Let's ride
With the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, dear!
The BC-52's: We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Good boy.
Aerobics Instructor: Good, Wilma! Use your arms. Perfect. That's four.
Wilma Flintstone: Betty! Towel.
Aerobics Instructor: Keep going. Go eight. Strong, tight. Go nine.
The BC-52's: A yabba-dabba-doo time

View Quote Fred Flintstone: And in conclusion, Mr. Slate, I feel a paid vacation for everyone in the quarry would raise morale and increase productivity, um, um... A whole bunch! Sincerely yours, Frederick J. Flintstone.
Dictabird: Shall I make that "Flagstone," so he'll know who it's from?
Miss Sharon Stone: My, don't we look handsome today?
Fred and Dictabird: Thank you.
Miss Sharon Stone: Here are today's batch of requisitions. All marked and ready for your signature.
Fred Flintstone: Okay. You know Miss Stone, I've been signing stacks of these things for weeks now, and I hate to pry, but, what are they?
Miss Sharon Stone: Oh, just tiny little forms so that we can pay the contractors working on the modernization.
Fred Flintstone: You know, we remodeled our kitchen a couple of years ago, and let me tell you, contractors can be real pirates. I'm going to read these over.
Miss Sharon Stone: [covers them, slides onto his desk] No! You're much too busy for that, Mr. Flintstone. Besides, reading is my job. You wouldn't want to put poor little old me out of work now, would you?
[Wilma and Pebbles walk in the room]
Fred Flintstone: No.
[Miss Stone turns over on her back and seductively rubs his cheek. They both giggle]
Dictabird: Um, eh, your wife. Your, your wife.
Fred Flintstone: My wife? Wilma? [notices Wilma] Wilma! What a surprise!
Wilma Flintstone: So it would seem.
Fred Flintstone: Miss Stone, I'd like you to meet my wife Mrs. Flagstone... And our daughter, um... Um, um, um... Isn't she beautiful? My family.
Wilma Flintstone: I've heard so much about you. Well, I wish that I could say the same.
Fred Flintstone: That'll be all, Miss Stone. I'll sign those documents and place them on your desk.
Miss Sharon Stone: Whatever you want.
Wilma Flintstone: Your secretary is very attractive.
Fred Flintstone: Really? I hadn't noticed. Did I mention she chisels 18 words a minute?
Wilma Flintstone: Hmm.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Wilma, did ya ever see one of these? My wife is the most beautiful gal in Bedrock.
Dictabird: "My wife is the most beautiful gal in Bedrock."
Wilma Flintstone: Nice try, Fred.
Dictabird: "Nice try, Fred."
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! I've come to talk about the Rubbles' troubles.
Fred Flintstone: Hasn't Barney found a job yet?
Wilma Flintstone: It's gotten so bad, they've had to rent out their house just to make ends meet.
Fred Flintstone: Really. Where are they gonna live?

View Quote Fred Flintstone: Flintstone gets the rock. He sets his shot. He shoots! Oh! Oh! Oh, boy. Miss Stone, what a pleasant surprise.
[After Fred wrecks the model]
Miss Sharon Stone: Oh. What happened here?
Fred Flintstone: That's what I'd like to know!
Miss Sharon Stone: I'll get someone to fix it.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, Miss Stone? Before you go, there's something bothering me... About this new system we're putting in here.
Miss Sharon Stone: Oh?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah. I don't pretend to understand it all, but wouldn't this put a lot of my guys out of work?
Miss Sharon Stone: How would I know? I'm just a little ol' secretary.
Fred Flintstone: Are you kiddin' me? You're smart! I could tell that right off. There's a lot more to you than you... [Fred stammers. Miss Stone smiles.] You... I mean...
Miss Sharon Stone: [genuinely] Thank you. Mr. Flintstones, I sure hope I didn't get you into too much trouble with your wife the other day.
Fred Flintstone: Nah. Wilma always forgives me. She knows I love her.
Miss Sharon Stone: And you do, don't you?
Fred Flintstone: Are you kiddin"? I'll never forget, the first time I met her she was working at a restaurant. I won this "All You Can Eat" contest and she was the one that cleaned me off. Every night I go home and look at her and I think, "What is a beautiful woman like that doing with a big galoot like me?"
Miss Sharon Stone: I think I know.
Cliff Vandercave: Where have you been?
Miss Sharon Stone: With Fred. I mean, Mr. Flintstone. I'm worried, Cliff. He's smarter than we thought.
Cliff Vandercave: He'd have to be to get himself dressed in the morning.
Miss Sharon Stone: He's been asking a lot of questions. I think we should just call the whole thing off.
Cliff Vandercave: No. No, I've got a better idea. Why don't we turn ourselves in, then we can rot in jail until the poles freeze over.
Miss Sharon Stone: I was just thinking...
Cliff Vandercave: Stick to your strengths, Miss Stone. And I'll stick to mine. Besides, if Mr. Flintstone insists on being so conscientious, perhaps we can give Fred... Something to take his mind off work, hmm?

View Quote Fred Flintstone: Ohh! No.
Pearl Slaghoople: Look at him. Drunk as a skunkosaurus.
Fred Flintstone: Aaaah!
Wilma Flintstone: Mother, I can handle this.
Fred Flintstone: What's that old fossil doing here? Did the tar pits back up again?
Pearl Slaghoople: Well, somebody has to be here looking after my daughter and grandchild... While you're out carousing with a bunch of Neanderthals.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, really? Well, for your information, the lodge no longer accepts Neanderthals.
Pearl Slaghoople: He robs your nest egg to bail out that little troll next door while my daughter has to wash her clothes in the river.
Fred Flintstone: I got half a mind...
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, don't flatter yourself.
Fred Flintstone: That's it! Where's my club, Wilma?
Pearl Slaghoople: You just try it, fatso!
Fred Flintstone: If you was a man, I'd knock you...
Wilma Flintstone: Enough! Mother! Fred! You two should be ashamed of yourselves!
Pearl Slaghoople: I've got my hands full just being ashamed of him.
Fred Flintstone: You got your hands full when you scratch your neck!
Wilma Flintstone: Stop it! Both of you! Mother, Fred is a loving husband and a good provider.
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, really? What has he ever provided you besides shade? Oh, Wilma. You could've married Elliot Firestone, the man who invented the wheel. Instead you picked Fred Flintstone, the man who invented the excuse.
Fred Flintstone: Let me tell you something, Pearl. I'm not going to be a nobody all my life. One of these days, I'm gonna be a somebody, a real somebody! We'll live in luxury, and Wilma will have everything she deserves. When that day comes, you'll be so busy eatin' crow you'll be passing feathers for a month!
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, you poor, poor dear. And when I think of all the sacrifices your father made for you. Lambs, oxen, your brother Jerry.
Wilma Flintstone: Well...
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, Wilma. Do your mother a favor. Just call Elliot Firestone. Even if things don't work out, he can give you a great deal on some tires.
Wilma Flintstone: Yes, Mother.
Pearl Slaghoople: Byesie-bye.
Fred Flintstone: I'll show her. I'll show everybody.
Wilma Flintstone: I know you will, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: Call me fatso.
Wilma Flintstone: Let's get some sleep.