Cliff Vandercave quotes from The Flintstones (1994)

View Quote I have vision, and right now I have a vision of you and me dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rockapulco with Mr. Slate's fortune to keep us company.

View Quote Son of a Brachiosaurus!

View Quote Oh, this is far from over.

View Quote Worker 1: Come on, you lazy Cro-Magnon!
Worker 2: Ohh!
Foreman: Hey! Back to work! You guys had a break two days ago! Come on, now!
Worker: Come on, Sheba! That's my big girl!
Cliff Vandercave: Look at those pathetic worms burrowing their lives away. Do you know why I'm up here and they're down there, Miss Stone?
Miss Sharon Stone: Because you lied on your resume?
Cliff Vandercave: No. Because I have vision. And right now I have a vision of you and me... Dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rocapulco... With Mr. Slate's fortune to keep us company.
Miss Sharon Stone: I'm glad we see eye to eye.
Cliff Vandercave: And somewhere down there is the ignorant stooge who will make all my schemes come true.
Fred Flintstone: YABBA-DABBA-DOO!!!
The BC-52's: [singing] Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're a modern Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Let's ride with the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba doo time
A dabba-doo time

View Quote Man: Hey, what's the special?
Bird: This job sucks.
Joe Rockhead: What you got today?
Hoagie: Lizard and onions. Want half?
Joe Rockhead: Sure.
Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, I hear that eatin' too much red meat is bad for you.
Fred Flintstone: What a load of bunk. My father ate it every day of his life, he lived to the ripe old age of 38.
Cliff Vandercave: Your attention please. May I have your attention! I have a very important announcement to make.
Barney Rubble: You found out why the guys in pit six are losing their hair?
Cliff Vandercave: Yes! And we are currently in the process of refuting the results of that investigation. But today I am here to formally announce the creation of Slate and Company's executive placement program. Hold your questions, please. That's right, this Saturday an aptitude test will be given, granting one of you the opportunity to crawl out of the primordial ooze and be somebody. A vice president at Slate and Company, with an obscene salary and a shiny nameplate.
All: Ooh.
Cliff Vandercave: Good luck, and may the best biped win.
Fred Flintstone: An executive? This is my chance to be somebody. Be somebody.
Pebbles: Whee! Higher, Bamm-Bamm, higher! Higher! Higher! Whee!
Betty Rubble: Wilma.
Wilma Flintstone: Hmm?
Betty Rubble: How did you get rid of the ring around the collar?
Wilma Flintstone: I just started washing Fred's neck.
Betty Rubble: Hmm. You know, Wilma, if Fred scores the highest on that test, you'll be able to hire someone to do your laundry for you.
Wilma Flintstone: If Fred scores the highest on that test, I'll have to hire someone to revive me.
Betty Rubble: Oh, it's true, Fred's no Albert Einstone. But you never know, he may surprise you.
Pebbles: Whee!
Wilma Flintstone: Well, maybe. He has been studying day and night.
Pebbles: Whee!
Betty Rubble: I know! I've never seen him so excited about something you couldn't spread mayonnaise on.

View Quote Fred Flintstone: You know, Barn, I've been thinking about this executive job. It's not me. Cooped up inside some swank office all day, kissing the big shot's feet. Not Fred Flintstone. Why, good afternoon, Mr. Vandercave. My, that's a handsome pelt you're wearing today.
Cliff Vandercave: Thank you. Your attention, please! Please take your seats. And welcome. You will have one hour to complete the exam. Please carve all answers with a well-sharpened No. 2 chisel. On behalf of Slate and Company, I want to wish you all the very best of luck. Let's begin.
Fred Flintstone: Eeee! Ohh.
Cliff Vandercave: Chisels down. Please slide your answer slab into the numbered envelope provided and stack them neatly on my desk.
Barney Rubble: Psst! Hey, Fred! How'd you do?
Fred Flintstone: How'd I do? How'd I do?
Barney Rubble: You want me to take that up for you?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah. Thanks, pal.
Barney Rubble: "And I stand before my peers and vow, "I'll pay him back, someday, somehow."
Miss Sharon Stone: Well, Cliff, the test results are in.
Cliff Vandercave: And our unsuspecting dupe is?
Miss Sharon Stone: Believe it or not, the one who scored the highest was Fred Flintstone.
Cliff Vandercave: That big ape?
Miss Sharon Stone: No, the big ape got a 65.
Cliff Vandercave: Flintstone? Oh, this can't be right! He must have cheated. He's dense, he's witless...
Miss Sharon Stone: He's perfect.
Cliff Vandercave: The results of the exam were very competitive, and just because an applicant was not selected... is no indication of lack of ability. I am pleased to announce...
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, I know a kiss-off when I hear one. Let's go, Barn.
Cliff Vandercave: That the newest member of our executive rank is Mr. Fred Flintstone!
All: Huh?
Fred Flintstone: Barney, quick. What's my name?
Barney Rubble: Fred Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Don't toy with me, Barney.
Barney Rubble: You did it, Fred! You made it!
Fred Flintstone: Yabba-dabba-dabba-doo!
All: [cheering]

View Quote Wilma Flintstone: Good morning, Mr. Vice President.
Fred Flintstone: Good morning, Mrs. Vice President. Oh, Dino! Oh, Dino, no! Hey!
Dino: Mmm!
Fred Flintstone: Atta baby!
Wilma Flintstone: Oh...
Pebbles: Good boy, Dino.
Fred Flintstone: Well, how do I look?
Pebbles: Daddy pretty.
Wilma Flintstone: It's perfect!
Mastodon: Yeah. Snazzy.
Barney Rubble: So, Fred, what am I gonna call you now? Boss? Chief?
Fred Flintstone: No, a simple "Your Highness" will do. No, Barn. I'm not gonna be one of these guys that makes it then forgets where he came from. The first thing I'm gonna do is get everyone in the quarry some vacation time. And maybe a health plan with free foot care.
Barney Rubble: Gee, Fred, I'd settle for them little packets of ketchup for the lunch room.
Fred Flintstone: I'm only one man.
Barney Rubble: Not from the back.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, hey.
Barney Rubble: Well, I guess this is it, Mr. Flintstone. Go get 'em, big guy.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Could you spot me a couple bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.
Barney Rubble: You're right, Fred. Nothing's changed.
Cliff Vandercave: Welcome aboard, Flintstone! We're glad you're here. Nice suit! You know, Fred, any gravel brain can shovel rock down in the quarry, but up here... Do you know what we do up here?
Fred Flintstone: Me and the guys have always wondered.
Cliff Vandercave: We interface, Flintstone. We strategize, analyze, conceptualize, prioritize...
Fred Flintstone: When do we eat?
Cliff Vandercave: Fred, until this moment I wasn't sure we'd picked the right man. Now I'm certain. Fred Flintstone, you've arrived.
Fred Flintstone: This is my office?
Cliff Vandercave: That's right.
Fred Flintstone: This is my chair?
Cliff Vandercave: Mmm-hmm. Not to throw too much at you on your first day, but this big thing here is your desk.
Fred Flintstone: My desk?
Cliff Vandercave: Watch out for your fingers in the drawers.
Miss Sharon Stone: [enters Fred's office] Ahem! Am I interrupting?
Cliff Vandercave: Not at all. Fred, I'd like you to meet Miss Sharon Stone. She's going to be your secretary.
Fred Flintstone: My secretary?
Miss Sharon Stone: Personal secretary, Mr. Flintstone, that is of course, if you want me.
[Fred's tie rolls up to his chin]
Cliff Vandercave: Well, then, I the two of you could get better acquainted. [closes the doors]
Miss Sharon Stone: Mr. Flintstone, I'd like you to know that I enjoy working long hours, late nights, even weekends, so feel free to use me however you see fit. Now! Can I get you anything? Coffee?
Fred Flintstone: Sure.
Miss Sharon Stone: [seductive whisper] How would you like it?
Fred Flintstone: In a cup.
Miss Sharon Stone: Bold choice Mr. Flintstone. You'll go far in this company.
Fred Flintstone: Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf. We can prioritize, conceptualize and, uh... Tenderize. Executively yours, Fred Fli... Ah!
Dictabird: Are there six or seven "I"s in "Fli... Ah"?
Fred Flintstone: Who said that?
Dictabird: It was I, your dictabird.
Fred Flintstone: Dicta-what?
Dictabird: Dictabird. Read my beak. "Cliff, let's play golf. "We can prioritize, conceptualize and, uh, tenderize."
Fred Flintstone: Wow. Wow!
Dictabird: Mr. Flintstone, I'd like to warn you that management positions are fraught with peril. Whenever you find yourself in a befuddled state, I urge you to avail yourself of my experience and sage advice.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, really? Listen, birdie, let's get the pecking order straight here.
Dictabird: Hmm.
Fred Flintstone: I don't need any help from you. I'm Vice President of... Of, uh...
Dictabird: Industrial procurement.
Fred Flintstone: How about that? Excuse me. Hey, guys! Guess what I am! Vice President of Industrial Procurement!
All: [cheering]
Dictabird: Oy! Whew.

View Quote Cliff Vandercave: Yeah.
Miss Sharon Stone: There. I'm all done with the requisition forms. What do you think?
Cliff Vandercave: It's perfect. Looks just like the real one. Mr. Flintstone, you are about to embezzle a great deal of money. Unfortunately, for you, we get to keep it.
Miss Sharon Stone: We can have Flintstone sign these right away.
Cliff Vandercave: Not just yet. Creatures like this Flintstone are primitive, prone to irrational bouts of integrity. We've got to make absolutely certain he'll do whatever we say.
Fred Flintstone: is the greatest bowler on Earth.
Dictabird: "Fred is the greatest bowler on Earth."
Fred Flintstone: Now you talk, and see how much I can remember.
Cliff Vandercave: Workin' hard? Okay, Fred, are you ready for your first executive action?
Fred Flintstone: Ready and willing. Whatever you need, consider it done!
Cliff Vandercave: Good! I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.
Fred Flintstone: Done... What? Fire Barney? Why?
Cliff Vandercave: Well, for starters, he scored the lowest on the management aptitude test. He's an imbecile. The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll!
Fred Flintstone: But, Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage. I'm his best friend. I can't.
Cliff Vandercave: Fred... If you don't fire him, I will. And then I'll fire you.

View Quote Mr. Slate: Gentlemen, please. I cannot endorse this modernization... if it means laying off all those workers. Some have been here since the beginning of time.
Cliff Vandercave: What if I could quadruple your income?
Mr. Slate: I'll miss them. You were saying?
Fred Flintstone: Sorry I'm late. I had car trouble. Picked up a nail.
Mr. Slate: Thank you for sharing that, Mr. Flagstone. May we continue?
Cliff Vandercave: Mr. Slate. Gentlemen. I have a vision. While our competitors are mired in the Stone Age, I give you... The future!
Mr. Slate: Ohh.
Cliff Vandercave: Slate and Company will revolutionize the building industry... By providing simple, low-cost, modular housing units. Impossible, you say? Let me demonstrate. Through the miracle of geothermal power, the raw material is elevated to the second stage, where our steam-powered conveyor belt carries...
Executive 1: Steam? He's a madman!
Cliff Vandercave: Steam-powered conveyor belts... Carry the product to be shaped, cleaned, inspected and delivered to discerning consumers worldwide. And did I mention increasing our profit margin... Fourfold?
Mr. Slate: Very impressive, Mr. Vandercave. Very impressive. I think we should implement this system immediately. Yes?
Fred Flintstone: Excuse me, Mr. Slate. I know I'm the new man here, but I don't think you hired me to sit around and look pretty. I hate to bust your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who's gonna live in 'em?

View Quote Fred Flintstone: Flintstone gets the rock. He sets his shot. He shoots! Oh! Oh! Oh, boy. Miss Stone, what a pleasant surprise.
[After Fred wrecks the model]
Miss Sharon Stone: Oh. What happened here?
Fred Flintstone: That's what I'd like to know!
Miss Sharon Stone: I'll get someone to fix it.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, Miss Stone? Before you go, there's something bothering me... About this new system we're putting in here.
Miss Sharon Stone: Oh?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah. I don't pretend to understand it all, but wouldn't this put a lot of my guys out of work?
Miss Sharon Stone: How would I know? I'm just a little ol' secretary.
Fred Flintstone: Are you kiddin' me? You're smart! I could tell that right off. There's a lot more to you than you... [Fred stammers. Miss Stone smiles.] You... I mean...
Miss Sharon Stone: [genuinely] Thank you. Mr. Flintstones, I sure hope I didn't get you into too much trouble with your wife the other day.
Fred Flintstone: Nah. Wilma always forgives me. She knows I love her.
Miss Sharon Stone: And you do, don't you?
Fred Flintstone: Are you kiddin"? I'll never forget, the first time I met her she was working at a restaurant. I won this "All You Can Eat" contest and she was the one that cleaned me off. Every night I go home and look at her and I think, "What is a beautiful woman like that doing with a big galoot like me?"
Miss Sharon Stone: I think I know.
Cliff Vandercave: Where have you been?
Miss Sharon Stone: With Fred. I mean, Mr. Flintstone. I'm worried, Cliff. He's smarter than we thought.
Cliff Vandercave: He'd have to be to get himself dressed in the morning.
Miss Sharon Stone: He's been asking a lot of questions. I think we should just call the whole thing off.
Cliff Vandercave: No. No, I've got a better idea. Why don't we turn ourselves in, then we can rot in jail until the poles freeze over.
Miss Sharon Stone: I was just thinking...
Cliff Vandercave: Stick to your strengths, Miss Stone. And I'll stick to mine. Besides, if Mr. Flintstone insists on being so conscientious, perhaps we can give Fred... Something to take his mind off work, hmm?

View Quote Fred Flintstone: A bonus?
Cliff Vandercave: That's right, Fred! You deserve it.
Fred Flintstone: For what?
Cliff Vandercave: Don't be modest, you go-getter, you! And Fred, let me let you in on a little secret. If you really want to become a top executive at this company, you've got to start living like one.
Fred Flintstone: [laughing]
The BC-52's: Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Barney Rubble: Good afternoon, madam.
Woman at Chevrox: Full serve, please.
The BC-52's: Let's ride
With the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, dear!
The BC-52's: We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Good boy.
Aerobics Instructor: Good, Wilma! Use your arms. Perfect. That's four.
Wilma Flintstone: Betty! Towel.
Aerobics Instructor: Keep going. Go eight. Strong, tight. Go nine.
The BC-52's: A yabba-dabba-doo time

View Quote Hoagie: There he is! You're a traitor, Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Listen to me. I'm your friend.
Hoagie: You're no friend of ours! You're a rotten bowler too!
Miss Sharon Stone: Good morning, Mr. Flint...
Fred Flintstone: They made a fool of me.
Dictabird: Look what they had to work with.
Cliff Vandercave: Flintstone, heard you were down in the file room. Find anything interesting?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah! I'm on to your little scam. Billing phony companies and keeping the money for yourself. I'm going to Mr. Slate.
Cliff Vandercave: Good idea. Turning yourself in might buy you a little leniency.
Fred Flintstone: Me? This entire scheme was your idea.
Cliff Vandercave: True. But I've graciously decided to give you all the credit, since it's your name on the requisitions.
Fred Flintstone: I never touched any of that money!
Cliff Vandercave: Hmm. Fred, please. Remodeling your house, furs, jewelry, a fully-equipped Le Sabertooth. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have been more discreet.
Fred Flintstone: I'm innocent!
Cliff Vandercave: Oh, boo-hoo-hoo. Miss Stone, call security. Tell them we've uncovered an embezzler.
[Cliff is suing Fred for embezzlement]
Fred Flintstone: [grabs her hand] Miss Stone, you'll back me up, won't ya?
Miss Sharon Stone: You better run while you still have a chance.
Fred Flintstone: You'll never get away with this.
Cliff Vandercave: I already have.
Dictabird: [sighs]

View Quote Miss Sharon Stone: Just think. This time tomorrow, we'll be on a pterodactyl winging our... Oh, Cliff.
Cliff Vandercave: Hmm?
Miss Sharon Stone: How come there's only one ticket to Rocapulco?
Cliff Vandercave: For your protection, darling. I thought I would go on a "business trip," while you stay here to keep up appearances. Then, when we're sure it's safe, I'll send for you.
Miss Sharon Stone: Forgive me, Cliff. Looks like you've thought of everything.
Wilma Flintstone: Psst. Excuse me! Hello.
Dictabird: No, Mumsie, I don't want to go to school. The other boys make fun of me.
Wilma Flintstone: Wake up!
Dictabird: Oh, Mrs. Flintstone. To what do I owe the honor of this break-in?
Wilma Flintstone: I need your help, Mr. Bird. You hear everything that goes on in this office.
Dictabird: Hmm-hmm.
Wilma Flintstone: You are the only one who can help clear my husband.
Dictabird: My, my. What a delicious irony. Thank you for sharing it with me. Now, let me share something with you.
Betty Rubble: Oh, now, Wilma, calm down. Maybe I can reason with him.
Dictabird: Ow!
Cliff Vandercave: There. All set. You know, my only regret is I won't be around when that shoddy new equipment blows up in their big, dumb faces. Oh, well, I'll just have to console myself with all that money. Hey, who's that?
Miss Sharon Stone: That's Flintstone's wife.
Cliff Vandercave: What would she want with a stinky old dict... Son of a brachiosaurus!
Miss Sharon Stone: Well, Cliff. I guess you haven't thought of everything.
Cliff Vandercave: Oh, this is far from over.

View Quote Cliff Vandercave: Mr. Flintstone. Stealing office equipment, really. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Is this the kind of example you want to set for your daughter?
Barney Rubble: Where are the kids?
Cliff Vandercave: The bird, please.
Fred Flintstone: First, we want our children.
Cliff Vandercave: Of course.
Barney Rubble: Bamm-Bamm!
Cliff Vandercave: Take one more step, Mr. Rubble, and this quarry's safety record will be severely tarnished. Now, give me the bird.
Barney Rubble: Go on, Fred. Give him what he wants.
Dictabird: What?
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry, I got a plan. We're gonna get the kids back and then we'll rescue you.
Dictabird: What a strategist. I should have signed with Disney. They never would've allowed this sort of thing to happen.
Cliff Vandercave: Ahh! Thank you, gentlemen.
Dictabird: Easy.
Cliff Vandercave: And in the words of my beloved mother, I'm taking the money and moving to a warmer climate.
Pebbles: Help, Daddy!
Dictabird: Let's discuss this, Cliff. May I call you Cliff?
Fred Flintstone: Barney, too much pressure. One, two, three...
Fred and Barney: Nice goin'.
Barney Rubble: Now what do we do?
Fred Flintstone: You get the kids, I'll try and stop this.
Barney Rubble: Whoa!
Dictabird: Cliffy, have I ever told you you have a very distinguished chin?
Cliff Vandercave: Shut up! Ahh!
Fred Flintstone: Whoa!
Barney Rubble: Yo, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Dictabird: Oh, dear, Oh, dear. Too many years behind a desk. Mayday, mayday!
Bamm-Bamm': Hi, da-da.
Barney Rubble: You did it! You called me da-da!
Fred Flintstone: Oh, Barney, you lunkhead! What am I going to do? I gotta think of somethin'. Not now.
Pebbles Wake up, Uncle Barney!
Dictabird: Help, help! Save me! Save me from this mad M.B.A.!
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry. I'll take care of him.
Dictabird: My hero. Yipes.
Cliff Vandercave: Flintstone, kiss your bird good-bye.
Dictabird: Oh, mama.
[after knocking out Cliff]
Miss Sharon Stone: Will there be anything else, Mr. Flintstone?
Fred Flintstone: No, Miss Stone. Take the rest of the day off. [they share a grin] Yabba-dabba-doo! Cliff? It's time for you and me to interface.
Cliff Vandercave: Aah!
Fred Flintstone: Stee-rike!
Cliff Vandercave: [last lines] Nooooooooooooo!