Dictabird quotes from The Flintstones (1994)

View Quote Wilma Flintstone: Good morning, Mr. Vice President.
Fred Flintstone: Good morning, Mrs. Vice President. Oh, Dino! Oh, Dino, no! Hey!
Dino: Mmm!
Fred Flintstone: Atta baby!
Wilma Flintstone: Oh...
Pebbles: Good boy, Dino.
Fred Flintstone: Well, how do I look?
Pebbles: Daddy pretty.
Wilma Flintstone: It's perfect!
Mastodon: Yeah. Snazzy.
Barney Rubble: So, Fred, what am I gonna call you now? Boss? Chief?
Fred Flintstone: No, a simple "Your Highness" will do. No, Barn. I'm not gonna be one of these guys that makes it then forgets where he came from. The first thing I'm gonna do is get everyone in the quarry some vacation time. And maybe a health plan with free foot care.
Barney Rubble: Gee, Fred, I'd settle for them little packets of ketchup for the lunch room.
Fred Flintstone: I'm only one man.
Barney Rubble: Not from the back.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, hey.
Barney Rubble: Well, I guess this is it, Mr. Flintstone. Go get 'em, big guy.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Could you spot me a couple bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.
Barney Rubble: You're right, Fred. Nothing's changed.
Cliff Vandercave: Welcome aboard, Flintstone! We're glad you're here. Nice suit! You know, Fred, any gravel brain can shovel rock down in the quarry, but up here... Do you know what we do up here?
Fred Flintstone: Me and the guys have always wondered.
Cliff Vandercave: We interface, Flintstone. We strategize, analyze, conceptualize, prioritize...
Fred Flintstone: When do we eat?
Cliff Vandercave: Fred, until this moment I wasn't sure we'd picked the right man. Now I'm certain. Fred Flintstone, you've arrived.
Fred Flintstone: This is my office?
Cliff Vandercave: That's right.
Fred Flintstone: This is my chair?
Cliff Vandercave: Mmm-hmm. Not to throw too much at you on your first day, but this big thing here is your desk.
Fred Flintstone: My desk?
Cliff Vandercave: Watch out for your fingers in the drawers.
Miss Sharon Stone: [enters Fred's office] Ahem! Am I interrupting?
Cliff Vandercave: Not at all. Fred, I'd like you to meet Miss Sharon Stone. She's going to be your secretary.
Fred Flintstone: My secretary?
Miss Sharon Stone: Personal secretary, Mr. Flintstone, that is of course, if you want me.
[Fred's tie rolls up to his chin]
Cliff Vandercave: Well, then, I the two of you could get better acquainted. [closes the doors]
Miss Sharon Stone: Mr. Flintstone, I'd like you to know that I enjoy working long hours, late nights, even weekends, so feel free to use me however you see fit. Now! Can I get you anything? Coffee?
Fred Flintstone: Sure.
Miss Sharon Stone: [seductive whisper] How would you like it?
Fred Flintstone: In a cup.
Miss Sharon Stone: Bold choice Mr. Flintstone. You'll go far in this company.
Fred Flintstone: Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf. We can prioritize, conceptualize and, uh... Tenderize. Executively yours, Fred Fli... Ah!
Dictabird: Are there six or seven "I"s in "Fli... Ah"?
Fred Flintstone: Who said that?
Dictabird: It was I, your dictabird.
Fred Flintstone: Dicta-what?
Dictabird: Dictabird. Read my beak. "Cliff, let's play golf. "We can prioritize, conceptualize and, uh, tenderize."
Fred Flintstone: Wow. Wow!
Dictabird: Mr. Flintstone, I'd like to warn you that management positions are fraught with peril. Whenever you find yourself in a befuddled state, I urge you to avail yourself of my experience and sage advice.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, really? Listen, birdie, let's get the pecking order straight here.
Dictabird: Hmm.
Fred Flintstone: I don't need any help from you. I'm Vice President of... Of, uh...
Dictabird: Industrial procurement.
Fred Flintstone: How about that? Excuse me. Hey, guys! Guess what I am! Vice President of Industrial Procurement!
All: [cheering]
Dictabird: Oy! Whew.

View Quote Cliff Vandercave: Yeah.
Miss Sharon Stone: There. I'm all done with the requisition forms. What do you think?
Cliff Vandercave: It's perfect. Looks just like the real one. Mr. Flintstone, you are about to embezzle a great deal of money. Unfortunately, for you, we get to keep it.
Miss Sharon Stone: We can have Flintstone sign these right away.
Cliff Vandercave: Not just yet. Creatures like this Flintstone are primitive, prone to irrational bouts of integrity. We've got to make absolutely certain he'll do whatever we say.
Fred Flintstone: is the greatest bowler on Earth.
Dictabird: "Fred is the greatest bowler on Earth."
Fred Flintstone: Now you talk, and see how much I can remember.
Cliff Vandercave: Workin' hard? Okay, Fred, are you ready for your first executive action?
Fred Flintstone: Ready and willing. Whatever you need, consider it done!
Cliff Vandercave: Good! I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.
Fred Flintstone: Done... What? Fire Barney? Why?
Cliff Vandercave: Well, for starters, he scored the lowest on the management aptitude test. He's an imbecile. The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll!
Fred Flintstone: But, Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage. I'm his best friend. I can't.
Cliff Vandercave: Fred... If you don't fire him, I will. And then I'll fire you.

View Quote Fred Flintstone: And in conclusion, Mr. Slate, I feel a paid vacation for everyone in the quarry would raise morale and increase productivity, um, um... A whole bunch! Sincerely yours, Frederick J. Flintstone.
Dictabird: Shall I make that "Flagstone," so he'll know who it's from?
Miss Sharon Stone: My, don't we look handsome today?
Fred and Dictabird: Thank you.
Miss Sharon Stone: Here are today's batch of requisitions. All marked and ready for your signature.
Fred Flintstone: Okay. You know Miss Stone, I've been signing stacks of these things for weeks now, and I hate to pry, but, what are they?
Miss Sharon Stone: Oh, just tiny little forms so that we can pay the contractors working on the modernization.
Fred Flintstone: You know, we remodeled our kitchen a couple of years ago, and let me tell you, contractors can be real pirates. I'm going to read these over.
Miss Sharon Stone: [covers them, slides onto his desk] No! You're much too busy for that, Mr. Flintstone. Besides, reading is my job. You wouldn't want to put poor little old me out of work now, would you?
[Wilma and Pebbles walk in the room]
Fred Flintstone: No.
[Miss Stone turns over on her back and seductively rubs his cheek. They both giggle]
Dictabird: Um, eh, your wife. Your, your wife.
Fred Flintstone: My wife? Wilma? [notices Wilma] Wilma! What a surprise!
Wilma Flintstone: So it would seem.
Fred Flintstone: Miss Stone, I'd like you to meet my wife Mrs. Flagstone... And our daughter, um... Um, um, um... Isn't she beautiful? My family.
Wilma Flintstone: I've heard so much about you. Well, I wish that I could say the same.
Fred Flintstone: That'll be all, Miss Stone. I'll sign those documents and place them on your desk.
Miss Sharon Stone: Whatever you want.
Wilma Flintstone: Your secretary is very attractive.
Fred Flintstone: Really? I hadn't noticed. Did I mention she chisels 18 words a minute?
Wilma Flintstone: Hmm.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Wilma, did ya ever see one of these? My wife is the most beautiful gal in Bedrock.
Dictabird: "My wife is the most beautiful gal in Bedrock."
Wilma Flintstone: Nice try, Fred.
Dictabird: "Nice try, Fred."
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! I've come to talk about the Rubbles' troubles.
Fred Flintstone: Hasn't Barney found a job yet?
Wilma Flintstone: It's gotten so bad, they've had to rent out their house just to make ends meet.
Fred Flintstone: Really. Where are they gonna live?

View Quote Fred Flintstone: A bonus?
Cliff Vandercave: That's right, Fred! You deserve it.
Fred Flintstone: For what?
Cliff Vandercave: Don't be modest, you go-getter, you! And Fred, let me let you in on a little secret. If you really want to become a top executive at this company, you've got to start living like one.
Fred Flintstone: [laughing]
The BC-52's: Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Barney Rubble: Good afternoon, madam.
Woman at Chevrox: Full serve, please.
The BC-52's: Let's ride
With the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, dear!
The BC-52's: We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Good boy.
Aerobics Instructor: Good, Wilma! Use your arms. Perfect. That's four.
Wilma Flintstone: Betty! Towel.
Aerobics Instructor: Keep going. Go eight. Strong, tight. Go nine.
The BC-52's: A yabba-dabba-doo time

View Quote Hoagie: There he is! You're a traitor, Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Listen to me. I'm your friend.
Hoagie: You're no friend of ours! You're a rotten bowler too!
Miss Sharon Stone: Good morning, Mr. Flint...
Fred Flintstone: They made a fool of me.
Dictabird: Look what they had to work with.
Cliff Vandercave: Flintstone, heard you were down in the file room. Find anything interesting?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah! I'm on to your little scam. Billing phony companies and keeping the money for yourself. I'm going to Mr. Slate.
Cliff Vandercave: Good idea. Turning yourself in might buy you a little leniency.
Fred Flintstone: Me? This entire scheme was your idea.
Cliff Vandercave: True. But I've graciously decided to give you all the credit, since it's your name on the requisitions.
Fred Flintstone: I never touched any of that money!
Cliff Vandercave: Hmm. Fred, please. Remodeling your house, furs, jewelry, a fully-equipped Le Sabertooth. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have been more discreet.
Fred Flintstone: I'm innocent!
Cliff Vandercave: Oh, boo-hoo-hoo. Miss Stone, call security. Tell them we've uncovered an embezzler.
[Cliff is suing Fred for embezzlement]
Fred Flintstone: [grabs her hand] Miss Stone, you'll back me up, won't ya?
Miss Sharon Stone: You better run while you still have a chance.
Fred Flintstone: You'll never get away with this.
Cliff Vandercave: I already have.
Dictabird: [sighs]

View Quote Miss Sharon Stone: Just think. This time tomorrow, we'll be on a pterodactyl winging our... Oh, Cliff.
Cliff Vandercave: Hmm?
Miss Sharon Stone: How come there's only one ticket to Rocapulco?
Cliff Vandercave: For your protection, darling. I thought I would go on a "business trip," while you stay here to keep up appearances. Then, when we're sure it's safe, I'll send for you.
Miss Sharon Stone: Forgive me, Cliff. Looks like you've thought of everything.
Wilma Flintstone: Psst. Excuse me! Hello.
Dictabird: No, Mumsie, I don't want to go to school. The other boys make fun of me.
Wilma Flintstone: Wake up!
Dictabird: Oh, Mrs. Flintstone. To what do I owe the honor of this break-in?
Wilma Flintstone: I need your help, Mr. Bird. You hear everything that goes on in this office.
Dictabird: Hmm-hmm.
Wilma Flintstone: You are the only one who can help clear my husband.
Dictabird: My, my. What a delicious irony. Thank you for sharing it with me. Now, let me share something with you.
Betty Rubble: Oh, now, Wilma, calm down. Maybe I can reason with him.
Dictabird: Ow!
Cliff Vandercave: There. All set. You know, my only regret is I won't be around when that shoddy new equipment blows up in their big, dumb faces. Oh, well, I'll just have to console myself with all that money. Hey, who's that?
Miss Sharon Stone: That's Flintstone's wife.
Cliff Vandercave: What would she want with a stinky old dict... Son of a brachiosaurus!
Miss Sharon Stone: Well, Cliff. I guess you haven't thought of everything.
Cliff Vandercave: Oh, this is far from over.

View Quote Hoagie: String him up!
Fred Flintstone: You can't do this. I was framed!
Grizzled Man: In a minute you're going to be boxed.
All: [cheering]
Barney Rubble: Anybody want a snow cone?
Fred Flintstone: Barney!
Barney Rubble: Fred! What are you doing here?
Fred Flintstone: I'm getting lynched!
Barney Rubble: Oh. I got cherry, lime, rocky road.
Grizzled Man: Wait a minute. Do you know this guy?
Barney Rubble: Know him? He used to be my best friend. In a way, if it wasn't for me, this whole mess probably wouldn't have happened.
Grizzled Man: Thanks for filling us in. We could've made a very big mistake here. Hang both of 'em.
Barney Rubble: What? Gee, take it easy. They make you pay for your own uniforms.
Fred Flintstone: Barney, I thought you came to save me.
Barney Rubble: Save you? I saw a crowd, I figured I'd sell a few snow cones.
Fred Flintstone: You mean you haven't forgiven me yet?
Barney Rubble: Nope. And frankly, I don't think this is going to help.
Roxanne: I took a cherry.
Barney Rubble: I can't break a 20.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, hey, hey! Wait a minute! Look, Barn, I know you're still a little mad at me. But I want you to know, if I had to have someone hanging next to me, I'm glad it's you.
Barney Rubble: I guess switchin' them tests didn't turn out much like I planned, huh, Fred?
Accuser: Hey, got any lemon?
Barney Rubble: Check in the back. Gee, why can't business be this good every day? The story of my life. I'm a loser.
Fred Flintstone: No, you're not.
Barney Rubble: This makes me a winner?
Fred Flintstone: No, but you're the best friend a guy ever had and that makes you a winner in my book, pal. Me... I'm just a big jerk.
Barney Rubble: Ah, everybody loves you, Fred. Except for this lynch mob.
Fred Flintstone: Ah, Barn.
Barney Rubble: Ah, Fred.
Hoagie: Come on, come on. You'll have plenty of time to bond in the afterlife.
All: [cheering]
Betty Rubble: Wilma, look!
Man: Watch out for that tree!
Wilma Flintstone: Now wait, everybody. Fred is innocent.
Betty Rubble: Barney, do you have to do everything Fred does?
Wilma Flintstone: Everybody, listen to him.
Dictabird: First things first. I demand an apology.
Barney Rubble: I'm sorry!
Dictabird: Not you, him.
Fred Flintstone: Me? Apologize to a bird? Not Fred Flintstone!
Dictabird: I had hoped we might be colleagues but instead, you've treated me as if I were an ordinary piece of office furniture. I may eat bugs, but I have feelings, Mr. Flintstone. And you've hurt them.
All: Aww.
Fred Flintstone: Uh, well, look, I know I could've been a little more sensitive. Especially when you were molting.
Wilma Flintstone: Oh.
Fred Flintstone: So, I'm... Sorry.
Dictabird: I don't think they heard you in the back.
Fred Flintstone: I'm sorry.
Dictabird: Pardon?
Fred Flintstone: I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Dictabird: Oh. Now, then, gather 'round, everyone. I'll tell you the tale of an unsophisticated man caught up in a treacherous web of power, deceit and lust.
Grizzled Man: Ooh, yeah.

View Quote Wilma Flintstone: Why is the door open?
Fred Flintstone: What?
Wilma Flintstone: Betty, the door is open!
Betty Rubble: Wilma, something's wrong!
Wilma Flintstone: Pebbles!
Betty Rubble: Bamm-Bamm!
Fred Flintstone: What kind of madman would do something like this? That's a poor poochie. That's a baby. That's a baby.
Wilma Flintstone: Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are gone!
Betty Rubble: They left this.
Barney Rubble: It's a note.
Fred Flintstone: If you want to see your kids again, bring the Dictabird to the quarry at dawn. No police.
Dictabird: [gasps]

View Quote Cliff Vandercave: Mr. Flintstone. Stealing office equipment, really. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Is this the kind of example you want to set for your daughter?
Barney Rubble: Where are the kids?
Cliff Vandercave: The bird, please.
Fred Flintstone: First, we want our children.
Cliff Vandercave: Of course.
Barney Rubble: Bamm-Bamm!
Cliff Vandercave: Take one more step, Mr. Rubble, and this quarry's safety record will be severely tarnished. Now, give me the bird.
Barney Rubble: Go on, Fred. Give him what he wants.
Dictabird: What?
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry, I got a plan. We're gonna get the kids back and then we'll rescue you.
Dictabird: What a strategist. I should have signed with Disney. They never would've allowed this sort of thing to happen.
Cliff Vandercave: Ahh! Thank you, gentlemen.
Dictabird: Easy.
Cliff Vandercave: And in the words of my beloved mother, I'm taking the money and moving to a warmer climate.
Pebbles: Help, Daddy!
Dictabird: Let's discuss this, Cliff. May I call you Cliff?
Fred Flintstone: Barney, too much pressure. One, two, three...
Fred and Barney: Nice goin'.
Barney Rubble: Now what do we do?
Fred Flintstone: You get the kids, I'll try and stop this.
Barney Rubble: Whoa!
Dictabird: Cliffy, have I ever told you you have a very distinguished chin?
Cliff Vandercave: Shut up! Ahh!
Fred Flintstone: Whoa!
Barney Rubble: Yo, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Dictabird: Oh, dear, Oh, dear. Too many years behind a desk. Mayday, mayday!
Bamm-Bamm': Hi, da-da.
Barney Rubble: You did it! You called me da-da!
Fred Flintstone: Oh, Barney, you lunkhead! What am I going to do? I gotta think of somethin'. Not now.
Pebbles Wake up, Uncle Barney!
Dictabird: Help, help! Save me! Save me from this mad M.B.A.!
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry. I'll take care of him.
Dictabird: My hero. Yipes.
Cliff Vandercave: Flintstone, kiss your bird good-bye.
Dictabird: Oh, mama.
[after knocking out Cliff]
Miss Sharon Stone: Will there be anything else, Mr. Flintstone?
Fred Flintstone: No, Miss Stone. Take the rest of the day off. [they share a grin] Yabba-dabba-doo! Cliff? It's time for you and me to interface.
Cliff Vandercave: Aah!
Fred Flintstone: Stee-rike!
Cliff Vandercave: [last lines] Nooooooooooooo!

View Quote Dictabird: And then, Cliff said, "True. But I've graciously decided to give you all the credit, "since it's your name on all the requisition forms."
Miss Sharon Stone: Mr. Flintstone, I may not be in on Monday.
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry, Miss Stone. I'll tell 'em what you did. They'll let you off easy.
Miss Sharon Stone: I've been a very bad girl. But you have to admit, I was very, very good at it.
Barney Rubble: Come on, do it for Mommy. Who am I?
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm!
Betty Rubble: Oh.
Wilma Flintstone: Thank goodness, you're all right.
Fred Flintstone: Well, I'm not going to jail, but it won't be easy getting a new job. What kind of reference is Mr. Slate gonna give me after I destroyed his quarry?
Betty Rubble: None of this was your fault. Mr. Slate will understand.
Mr. Slate: Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Sure, now he gets my name right.
Mr. Slate: How did this happen?
Fred Flintstone: Mr. Slate, it all started when the Rubbles here wanted to adopt a baby.
Mr. Slate: Not that! How did this happen to Cliff?
Fred Flintstone: Well, you see, Mr. Slate, the machinery went haywire and the rocks got all crushed up and that got mixed in with water and that came all down the hill. Mr. Slate, I'm sorry!
Mr. Slate: Sorry? I love this stuff! I'm gonna name it after my daughter Concretia. Flintstone, you're a genius!
Fred Flintstone: Me? Really? Why?
Mr. Slate: Don't you see? Thanks to concrete, man can now shape his own destiny. The Stone Age is over!
Wilma Flintstone: Ahh.
Mr. Slate: First thing, I want you to hire back all the men, Flintstone. We're going into production immediately.
Fred Flintstone: We?
Mr. Slate: That's right. You are hereby promoted to President of the entire concrete division.
Fred Flintstone: Yabba... That's a real nice offer, Mr. Slate, but unfortunately, I'm gonna have to turn you down.
Barney Rubble: Don't listen to him, Mr. Slate. Fred, it's a great job! This time, you deserve it.
Fred Flintstone: Barney, all my life I wanted to be a somebody. And when I finally did, I turned into somebody I didn't like.
Mr. Slate: Good grief, man, have you lost your mind? This could make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.
Fred Flintstone: I was always the richest man in the world. I just never knew it. So, if it's okay with you, Mr. Slate, all I want is my old job back and my old life.
Barney Rubble: Fred.
Fred Flintstone: And two weeks paid vacation for all the men in the quarry, an annual cost of livin' increase and those little packets of ketchup in the lunchroom.
Mr. Slate: Done!
Fred Flintstone: Thanks, boss. See you at the company picnic.
Mr. Slate: There goes the best executive I ever had.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred, I'm so proud of you.
Betty Rubble: And I'm proud of you, Barney.
Fred Flintstone: I'm starving!
Barney Rubble: Me too!
Fred Flintstone: What do you say we get some breakfast. Snake and eggs for everybody. My treat.
Barney Rubble: Great.
Fred Flintstone: Barney...
Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Spot me a couple bucks? I'm a little short.
Barney Rubble: Not this time!
Fred Flintstone: What?
The BC-52's: [singing] Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're a modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Someday maybe
Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will stay out for the night
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Wilma!
The BC-52's: [singing] We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Wilma!