Bird quotes from The Flintstones (1994)

Hey, what's the special?

This job sucks.

What you got today?

Hoagie

Lizard and onions. Want half?

Sure.

Barney Rubble

You know, Fred, I hear that eatin' too much red meat is bad for you.

Fred Flintstone

What a load of bunk. My father ate it every day of his life, he lived to the ripe old age of 38.

Cliff Vandercave

Your attention please. May I have your attention! I have a very important announcement to make.

Barney Rubble

You found out why the guys in pit six are losing their hair?

Cliff Vandercave

Yes! And we are currently in the process of refuting the results of that investigation. But today I am here to formally announce the creation of Slate and Company's executive placement program. Hold your questions, please. That's right, this Saturday an aptitude test will be given, granting one of you the opportunity to crawl out of the primordial ooze and be somebody. A vice president at Slate and Company, with an obscene salary and a shiny nameplate.

Ooh.

Cliff Vandercave

Good luck, and may the best biped win.

Fred Flintstone

An executive? This is my chance to be somebody. Be somebody.

Whee! Higher, Bamm-Bamm, higher! Higher! Higher! Whee!

Betty Rubble

Wilma.

Wilma Flintstone

Hmm?

Betty Rubble

How did you get rid of the ring around the collar?

Wilma Flintstone

I just started washing Fred's neck.

Betty Rubble

Hmm. You know, Wilma, if Fred scores the highest on that test, you'll be able to hire someone to do your laundry for you.

Wilma Flintstone

If Fred scores the highest on that test, I'll have to hire someone to revive me.

Betty Rubble

Oh, it's true, Fred's no Albert Einstone. But you never know, he may surprise you.

Whee!

Wilma Flintstone

Well, maybe. He has been studying day and night.

Whee!

Betty Rubble

I know! I've never seen him so excited about something you couldn't spread mayonnaise on.

Barney Rubble

Come on, Fred, usually you're yakkin' my ear off, but today you haven't said two words. Something exciting must have happened up there.

Fred Flintstone

You don't want to know, Barn, believe me.

Barney Rubble

Sure I do, Fred. You're the first one of us to make it out of that quarry. Look at me. I'll probably be working there the rest of my life.

Fred Flintstone

No, you won't, Barn. Take my word for it.

Barney Rubble

Come take a look... It's a dish in the shower, you keep the soap in it.

Fred Flintstone

Barney, there's something we gotta talk about.

Barney Rubble

Yeah, yeah. Later, Fred.

Surprise! Way to go, Fred!

Fred Flintstone

Wilma, you shouldn't have.

Wilma Flintstone

Hmm? I didn't. This was all Barney and Betty's idea. Aren't we lucky to have friends like them, Fred?

Pearl Slaghoople

Ohh! There he is! There's my big, handsome son-in-law! Have you lost weight?

Have we met?

Barney Rubble

Can I have everybody's attention, please? I've got something I'd like to say.

Hoagie

I hope it's not another poem.

Barney Rubble

Fred... Betty, Bamm-Bamm and I could not be happier, even if it was me that got that job.

Aww!

Barney Rubble

So we got a little something to show how proud of you we are.Congratulations, big guy!

Fred Flintstone

Barney, I can't accept this.

Barney Rubble

Sure, you can.

Fred Flintstone

No, I can't. Take it back.

Betty Rubble

We can't. We had your initials branded on it.

Barney Rubble

It's yours, Fred.

Fred Flintstone

No, it's not!

Wilma Flintstone

Fred, what's wrong with you? It's a lovely gift. He's thrilled to receive it. Aren't you, Fred?

Fred Flintstone

No!

Betty Rubble

Don't you like the color?

Fred Flintstone

It's not the briefcase, it's not the color. I just can't take anything from you.

Barney Rubble

But, Fred...

Pearl Slaghoople

Take a hike, shorty. My Freddie doesn't want that tacky thing.

Barney Rubble

How come, Fred?

Fred Flintstone

Because you can't afford it, Barn.

Barney Rubble

Sure I can, pal.

Fred Flintstone

Not anymore. You're fired.

Fired?

Pearl Slaghoople

Well! Let's not let a little thing like this spoil the party! Conga line!

Hoagie

Conga! Conga!

Barney Rubble

Don't worry about me, Fred. I've been working in that quarry since it was eight feet deep.

Fred Flintstone

Atta boy!

Barney Rubble

There could be a whole new world opening up for me. Maybe I'll take in that franchise show this weekend.

Fred Flintstone

That's the spirit.

Barney Rubble

Hey, Fred, there's just one thing I gotta know. After all these years, how come they're canning me?

Fred Flintstone

Barn, you're a wonderful father, a loving husband, a hard worker, and one heck of a little bowler. But, Barn, none of that counts on an aptitude test. You got the lowest score, pal.

Barney Rubble

The lowest score?

Excuse me. Mrs. Rubble?

Betty Rubble

Yes.

There seems to be a slight problem with your credit carol.

Betty Rubble

Really? And what would that be?

It's no damn good!

Betty Rubble

I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life.

Wilma Flintstone

Go and play, children.

Betty Rubble

Wilma, I promise you I'll pay you back. I just don't know when.

Wilma Flintstone

Oh, now, Betty. It can't be as bad as all that.

Betty Rubble

But it is. Barney's still out of work, we've nearly spent all of our savings. And, Wilma, what if the adoption agency finds out? I don't want to lose my baby.

Wilma Flintstone

I swear, Betty, Fred and I would never let that happen.

Betty Rubble

Oh, Wilma.

Wilma Flintstone

Oh, Betty.

Pterodactyl alert!

Mommy, help!

Ow, yuck! Ew!