Little Nicky 2000 quotes, page 4

Grandpa Lucifer

What's with all those "hoo-hoo" noises?

Everything's fine, Pop!

Grandpa Lucifer

"Everything's fine"? Who're you bullshitting? The last time you said everything was fine, the Renaissance happened!

Please, Pop! Go back to your room.

Grandpa Lucifer

Hey, can I take him with me? [points to Stanley] Heh, I want to have sex with his head.

Sure, Pop, whatever you want. Tit-head, go with my father.

This is gonna be a whole different lifestyle for me, isn't it?

Grandpa Lucifer

Oh, yeah? Maybe I'll just nibble here and there. Who knows, huh?

Do what you got to do, Your Horniness.

Grandpa Lucifer

Okay. You know, Stanley-

Use a condom, Pop.

Regis

So I was driving to work today. Some bozo in a Cadillac cuts me off. So I followed him. When he got out of his car, I run up behind this guy and I start bashing his brains in with this bat. Did you ever see "The Untouchables"? I was De Niro!

What's happened to you, Regis?!

Hello?

Peeper

Hello, Scottie. Say, why don't be a good little boy and go downstairs and let your mother get comfy, alright?

Who is this?

Peeper

This is a big bird who wants to see the rest of mommy. Hahahaha.

Oh my God, Scottie. Is that a man up our tree?

Peeper

No, no! Tell it's just a bird! It's just a big bird!

Hello?

Peeper

Hello, Scottie. Say, why don't you be a good little boy and go downstairs and let your mother get comfy, all right?

Who is this?

Peeper

This is a big bird who wants to see the rest of Mommy. Nah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Mrs. Dunleavy

Oh my God, Scottie, is that a man up our tree?

Peeper

No, no! Tell her it's just a bird! It's just a big bird! [flaps arms] Bawk! Bawk, bawk, bawk! Bawwwwwk! Bawwwwwwwwwk! [With an evil grin, Scottie fires a slingshot at him, striking said Peeper in the head]

Peeper

Mrs. Dunleavy. Help me! Please... wear a bikini!

Mrs. Dunleavy

Pervert. [to Scottie] Come on.

Peeper

Oh, how are you doing? [Mrs. Dunleavy and Scottie hold a television out the window and throw it to the Peeper] NOOOOOOOOO! [The TV lands, killing him]

Be unafraid. Be very unafraid.

Nicky

But those are my roommate's sodas!

Beefy

Easy, don't choke.

Grandpa Lucifer

Even in Hell, I get no respect.

Nicky

Get In The Flask!

Whitey Duvall/The Referee

Get that crap out of here!

Whitey Duvall/The Referee

Guess what, cornrows? Technical foul! You're out of here!

He's Never Been To Earth, He's never even slept over another dudes house

Whitey Duvall/The Referee

He's walking! Get him a bus!

Townie

Hey, Nicky. Cover Winkler in bees. You can do it!

Whitey Duvall/The Referee

Hit the half-time buzzer. I'm tired.