Good luck with the nipple rubbing..
Nipples I don't need luck. I'm good!
Nicky
Adam Sandler · 38 quotes
Beefy
Robert Smigel · 20 quotes
Todd
Allen Covert · 13 quotes
Blind deacon
Quentin Tarantino · 8 quotes
John
Jonathan Loughran · 8 quotes
Satan
8 quotes
Valerie
Patricia Arquette · 6 quotes
Whitey Duvall/The Referee
Dana Carvey · 6 quotes
Grandpa Lucifer
Rodney Dangerfield · 5 quotes
Pete
Peter Dante · 5 quotes
Peeper
Jon Lovitz · 4 quotes
Stanley
4 quotes
Townie
Rob Schneider · 3 quotes
Adrian
Rhys Ifans · 2 quotes
Most scenes together: Nicky & Beefy (9), Nicky & Todd (7), Nicky & John (6)
Little Nicky quotes
Page 2 of 6 Nipples I feel strange. I can't stop thinking about this girl, Valerie.
Why? Did she hurt you? Do you need to cry on my shoulder?
Easy there, Liberace.
I think Victoria just told me her Secret.
Cardinal In today's gospel, the Lord tells us how we should live if we wish to obtain the splendor of heaven...or something like that. Jesus this, Moses that, Abraham hit me with a wiffle ball bat.
Basketball audience member
Now that was some straight up David Copperfield shit!
You can do it, Nicky! Kick him in his hairy balls!
[after hearing Mr. Beefy singing in his sleep]
That is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.
Hey, how're you feeling over there, Satan Abdul-Jabbar?
A little strange. I can't stop thinking about this girl, Valerie.
Why? Did she hurt you? Do you need to cry on my shoulder?
Easy, Liberace.
Oh, would you grow up?!
Ha ha ha! Liberace.
I was having the best day with her, until Adrian made me tell her she had a heart-shaped heinie.
Maybe you love her, but what do I know, I can't even see straight!
My underwear is so far up my ass, I could taste it!
Popeye's employee
May I help you?
Get in the flask!
Popeye's employee
What are you talking about, man?
...I'm talking about an..eight piece meal. Let's go.
I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I must respectfully decline.
Dan Marino I can't stand retirement. Come on, just let me win one Super Bowl.
In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're too nice of a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
Dan Marino You did it for Namath.
Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.
Dan Marino This sucks! I'll just go to the Super Bowl as an announcer, and I'll win myself an Emmy!
That's the spirit!
You're a good devil, Dad!
And I also happen to be a Jets fan!
Heh-heh.
Now, that was an experience. 'You are only coming through in waves.' That line blows my mind every time. I don't care what mood you're in the start of that song. When it's finished, that mood had been altered.
Okay, kids, meet your new home!
Adrian and Cassius
No, no, no, no, no…!
Hitler
[flask is shoved up Hitler's ass]
Holy schit! Oh ho ho!
But after much thought and careful consideration, I've decided that the ruler for the next ten thousand years is going to have to be...me.
Cassius and Adrian
What!?
Hallelujah.
(they stare at Nicky) I mean...that sucks!
That's right. You heard me, Holly.
Holly What?
I'm still in love with you.
Aren't you that horny guy pretending to be a big bird, checking out that beautiful mom?
Yes I am.
Now, you're going to see what a big, horny bird actually looks like. [Eyes narrow, cruel smile] In Hell!
[later on when said peeper meets Satan] [sarcastically]
Hello…Mr. Devil…I like your cape. [Satan smiles, waves, then summons said giant bird-man who goes to rape said peeper] I deserve this!
Now, you're going to see what a big, horny bird actually looks like. In Hell!
You can't go through there! The fire flows in, not out! [Cassius and Adrian go through fire gate] You really suck!
Street vendor [appears while Nicky is sleeping in Central Park]
My man's into deep nocturnal shit. [steals Nicky's flask] Whoo! Mm-hmm, yeah!
Yo, man, I think that guy just stole his stuff!
Should we wake him up?
Yeah. You do it.
Rise and shine, Devil Guy! Some dude just stole your shit!
What?! Where?! [exhales fire; John and Pete stare in amazement] Which way did he go?
Uh, that way!
Thanks! Give me back my flask!
Did you check out the dragon mouth?!
The Dark Prince is here! [they head-butt one another]
Street vendor Check out my stuff, I got a low price! Uh, I got a pepper shaker! I got a silver doodad from Africa!
Street vendor See something you like, my man?
Yes, I would like my flask back!
Street vendor You're calling me a thief, my man?
I'm calling you the guy who has my flask.
Street vendor How would I have it unless I was, in fact, a thief?
I don't know.
Customer
[Deleted scene; a customer arrives]
Ooh. How much for the silver flask there?
Street vendor Ah, my man. Business, business, business. That's a special item selling. The cap alone is one hundred percent pure... plappium.
"Plappium"?
Street vendor It's valued at over three hundred dollars.
Customer
Really? What's it from?
It was handcrafted in Hell by Satan himself, and its sole purpose is to get the Fireball of Hades burning once again.
Customer
I'm gonna keep looking.
Street vendor [Theatrical version resumes]
Now, you've done it. You've messed with my business, bitch!
I would appreciate it if you would keep your voice down! [flames appear in Nicky's eyes]
Street vendor Oh, you're going all crazy eyed on me? I'll show you some crazy eye! [clicks tongue really fast with fists up] Look at this, come on, let's get busy!
Excuse me, sir?
Street vendor Who?
Does, um, that flask belong to this man?
Street vendor Now you're going to call me a thief, too?! Damn!
Okay, look. Today, the guy you ripped off just happened to walk by and bust you, so why don't you just…give him the flask back?
Street vendor What're you going to do if I don't, bite me with your snaggletooth?
No. But maybe that policeman over there might have something to say.
Street vendor Awwwww, take your dumb-ass canteen, goofy! [turns to Valerie] And you, get your raggedy-ass clothes and find yourself another corner, before I show you what crazy really is!
Fine, I will!
Street vendor I'm a business man! Blah-blah-blah-blah!
I'll be seeing you in a few years. [street vendor clicks tongue really fast at Nicky as he leaves]