"Everything's fine"? Who're you bullshitting? The last time you said everything was fine, the Renaissance happened!
Nicky
Adam Sandler · 38 quotes
Beefy
Robert Smigel · 20 quotes
Todd
Allen Covert · 13 quotes
Blind deacon
Quentin Tarantino · 8 quotes
John
Jonathan Loughran · 8 quotes
Satan
8 quotes
Valerie
Patricia Arquette · 6 quotes
Whitey Duvall/The Referee
Dana Carvey · 6 quotes
Grandpa Lucifer
Rodney Dangerfield · 5 quotes
Pete
Peter Dante · 5 quotes
Peeper
Jon Lovitz · 4 quotes
Stanley
4 quotes
Townie
Rob Schneider · 3 quotes
Adrian
Rhys Ifans · 2 quotes
Most scenes together: Nicky & Beefy (9), Nicky & Todd (7), Nicky & John (6)
Little Nicky quotes
Page 1 of 6(Mocking)
"But those are my roommates sodas!" Does that sound like a statement the Son of the Devil would make?
Now eat up, you're gonna need you energy.
I got energy up the ying-yang! Let's go save dad!
It's not gonna be easy. Your brothers can possess people. So they probably won't look like themselves. You have to be suspicious of everyone.
Alright, "bro". Well, the jig is up then!
(pulls out the flask) Get in the flask. C'mon, slide right in there.
It's not me, moron.
Oh. Sorry.
Yep, the Lord sure did say a lot of hibbity jibbity bibbity swibbity…but, has he ever really done anything for any of us? Has he ever put a Jaguar XJR in my driveway? No.
Man #1
I love that car.
Has the Lord given any of my enemies the herpes?
Man #2
[laughing]
The herpes?
No!
Woman
The Lord gave my son the strength to get off drugs! [congregation cheers]
Ma'am, I know your son. And believe me, he was better off on the drugs. At least when he was smoking hashish, he used to make me laugh occasionally. [congregation laughs]
Man #3
After we tried for many years, the Lord finally helped my wife conceive a baby. [congregation cheers]
No, no, no. Your best friend, Fitzy, helped your wife conceive a baby. He helped her conceive it all night long!
Fitzy
Hey, hey, hey! [congregation boos]
How about you, Mayor? Has the Lord ever done anything for you?
Mayor/Cassius Well, you know, I…I wished I could think of something, but to be honest with you, I can't! I can't think of a damn thing he's ever done for me! Kind of makes you wonder if there even is a Lord. If there even is an ultimate punishment for our so-called "sins!" Why don't we all just have fun and do whatever the hell we want?! Hey, hey!
Let the sin begin!
Cassius [thinking]
"Let the sin begin." That was a good one!
Cassius [thinking]
Why should it end? Who's going to stop us?! Ha ha ha ha!
Ah ha ha ha ha!
The hell beast is above us!! And I can smell an evil slut! [Nicky shoots him with water from fire hydrant] Whoa, devil!!
Nobody calls my girl an evil slut.
Why're you taunting me with your darkness?! Your evil, it's stinking up our streets! The end is near!! We are all going to die!! [runs into a lamppost]
This town is really going to Hell lately!
Chief of Police This videotape will show what he did after he left the game.
[on the news videotape which is actually Scarface]
Say hello to my little friend! My name is Nicky, and I'm gonna kill all you people for no reason!
That's not me; that's the cockroach Tony Montana!
Chief of Police It's difficult to watch, I know.
This is Adrian's work!
He superimposed your head onto Scarface!
Which is probably De Palma's third best film.
Demon
Popeyes Chicken is the shiznit!
Jimmy the demon You were gone ten seconds. What happened?
I got hit by a big light that was attached to a lot of metal.
That's a train, son. Don't stand in front of them.
Well, I guess I'm going to have to take a mulligan on this one.
Hey, by the way, Nicky, check this out! [spins Ozzy record backwards, but just makes noise] What's Ozzy trying to say there?
John, absolutely nothing. The Blizzard always came straight with his messages. But wrap your minds around this, gentlemen.
Oh no! Heh heh heh!
Chicago. [plays "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?"]
I love this song.
Chicago album spun backwards
I command you in the name of Lucifer, to spread the blood of the innocent!
Oh, my God! Chicago kicks ass!
That was awesome!
You know, guys, this cake…tastes a little funny.
Oh, I dumped a fat sack of reefer in the mix. Thought I'd spice up the bash!
Really?!
What's reefer?
About 500 bucks an ounce! Heh heh heh heh!
Hey Nicky, Check this out! (spins Ozzy record backwards, just noise) What's Ozzy trying to say?
John, absolutely nothing. The Blizard always came straight with his messages. But wrap your minds around this gentlemen. [gets "Chicago" record] "Chicago".
Voice
[Nicky spins a "Chicago" album backwards]
I command you, in the name of Lucifer, to spill the blood of the innocent!
Oh my God, "Chicago" kicks ass!
Good luck with the nipple rubbing.
Nipple Guy
I don't need luck. I'm good!
I-I can see that.
Nipple Guy
Ooh!
Your glasses are pretty; they make your eyes look big and sparkly. It's fun looking at them.
Oh. My dad's an optometrist.
My dad's in Hell and he's falling apart.
[to basketball]
I command you not to blow up and go into that metal circle. [throws basketball underhand; at the last second, the ref/Cassius jumps up, catches ball]
Ref/Cassius Nyah!
Hey!
Ref/Cassius Get that crap out of here!
I know you're having fun, Cassius, but you've really got to come back to Hell!
Cassius Look around you, Nicky! We're in Hell. The new Hell! Ha ha ha!
Old Lady
[Nicky looks over at audience, sees two pregnant women with Fitzy 'raising the roof', also sees three shirtless men with the "SIN" painted on their torsos] [swinging a shirt over her head]
Do it! Do it! Do it! Whee-eeee-eeeeeeeeee!
Cassius Ha ha ha!
I was sent here to take you back, and that's what I'm going to do!
Cassius Don't make me take out the shovel again, Trick!
I think we're about to see a devil showdown!
You know, Dad got sick when you guys left!
Cassius : I'm glad he's dying, because it's my turn now.
[while spinning the basketball on his finger]
You're going to wish you never said that. [Cassius and Nicky start playing basketball]
Take him to the hole, Nicky! [Todd looks at Beefy] I mean, "Woof, woof!"
Cassius Come on, brother, come on! Oh, come on! Ha ha ha ha! [singsongy] Daddy can't help you! Daddy can't help you!
[Nicky jumps in the air, yelling, causing random objects to explode, then makes the basket, shattering the glass] Boy's Father: This show gets better every year!
Boy's Mother: Ah ha ha ha ha!
Cassius That was sick! Who taught you that shit?
Sorry, Cassius…it must be the Super Devil Juice Dad gave me!
Cassius Super Devil Juice?! Give me that, little girl!
Don't drink out of it, please! [Cassius drinks out of flask, gets sucked inside]
Boy's Mother: Now that was some straight-up David Copperfield shit!
Cassius [from inside flask]
Damn you, Nicky! There ain't no Super Devil Juice in here!
Hail, Nicky!
We are forever your slaves!