Robert Downey Jr. movie quotes

View Quote My journey took me somewhat further down the rabbit-hole than I'd intended and, though I dirtied my fluffy white tail, I've emerged … enlightened.

View Quote Ah … putrefaction.

View Quote Always nice to see you, Watson.

View Quote I'm just not the hero type, clearly. What, with this laundry list of character defects and all the mistakes I've made, largely publicly.

View Quote Organize a press conference. I want a press conference and I want an American Cheeseburger. Hogan, drive. Cheeseburger first.

View Quote Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?

View Quote Bishop to Bishop eight, discovered check and incidentally, mate.

View Quote [ to Dr. Hoffmen-Stall ] Perhaps you have heard of me. My name is Sherlock H... [bomb explodes; coughing] H... Holmes!

View Quote [in need of a distraction to get the crowd out of the auction house.] One million US dollars! [Everyone gasps and looks at him, mortified; the tapestry behind him promptly bursts into flames] Oh, and, uh, by the way, fire!

View Quote Tony: [After hearing Ultron refer to him as a sickness] Aw, junior. You're gonna break your old man's heart.
Ultron: If I have to.
Thor: Nobody has to break anything.
Ultron: Clearly, you've never made an omelette.
Tony: He beat me by one second.

View Quote Tony: Maybe I should take a page out of Barton's book. Build Pepper a farm, hope nobody blows it up.
Rogers: The simple life.
Tony: You'll get there one day.
Rogers: I don't know. Family, stability... the guy who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago.

View Quote Tony: All deference to the Man Who Wouldn't be King, but it's rigged.
Clint: You bet your ass!
Hill: Steve, he said a bad language word.
Rogers: [Thoroughly exasperated] Did you tell everyone about that?!

View Quote [referring to Oppenheimer] A lot of scientists blame me, but how was I supposed to protect him?

View Quote Amateurs seek the sun. Get eaten. Power stays in the shadows.

View Quote [referring to the hydrogen bomb] If it could put us ahead again, the President of the United States needs to know about it. And if there’s a possibility that the Russians know about it from a spy at Los Alamos, then we’ve gotta get going.

View Quote [in analyzing Loki's plans for the Sceptre] Loki, he's a full tilt diva! He likes his flowers, he wants parades, a... monument built to the skies with his name plastered- [cuts himself off, realizing he's describing Stark Tower to a tee.] Son of a bitch.

View Quote [As Thor fires electricity at Iron Man]
JARVIS: Power levels at 400% capacity.
Iron Man: [a bit smug] How 'bout that?

View Quote Captain America: Stark, you seeing this?
Iron Man: Seeing. Still working on believing.

View Quote [To Doctor Strange] Did you seriously just say "Hitherto undreamt of"?

View Quote [To Ebony Maw] I'm sorry, Earth is closed today! You better pack it up and get outta here!

View Quote Peter Quill: Everybody, stay where you are, chill the eff out... [Quill powers off his helmet] I'm gonna ask you this one time. Where is Gamora?
Tony Stark: [De-helmeting] Yeah, I'll do you one better. Who's Gamora?
Drax: [to Quill] I'll do you one better. Why is Gamora?
Peter Quill: Tell me where the girl is, or I swear to you, I'm gonna French-fry this little freak. [Points his blaster to Spider-Man's face]
Tony Stark: Let's do it! You shoot my guy and I'll blast him! [Tony extends his nanotech cannon at Drax's face] Let's go!
Drax: Do it, Quill! I can take it.
Mantis: No, he can't take it!
Dr. Stephen Strange: [Completely deadpan] She's right. You can't.
Peter Quill: Oh yeah? You don't wanna tell me where she is? That's fine. I'll kill all three of you and I'll beat it out of Thanos myself. [To Spider-Man] Starting with you.
Dr. Stephen Strange: Wait, what? Thanos? [Trying to inject clarity and sanity into the situation] Alright, let me ask you this one time: What master do you serve?
Peter Quill: What master do I serve? What am I supposed to say, "Jesus"?
Tony Stark: You're from Earth.
Peter Quill: I'm not from Earth, I'm from Missouri.
Tony Stark: Yeah, that's on Earth, dipshit. What are you hassling us for?
Peter Parker: [Sounding slightly crushed] So you're not with Thanos?
Peter Quill: With Thanos? No, I'm here to kill Thanos. He took my girl. Wait, who are you?
Peter Parker: [De-helmeting] We're the Avengers, man.
Mantis: You're the ones Thor told us about!
Tony Stark: You know Thor?
Peter Quill: Yeah, tall guy, not that good-looking, needed saving.
Dr. Stephen Strange: Where is he now?

View Quote A famous man once said, "We create our own demons." Who said that? What does that even mean? Didn't matter. I said it 'cause he said it. So now, he was famous and it was basically said by two well-known guys. I don't... uhh... I'm gonna start again. Let's track this from the beginning [last lines]

View Quote Tony Stark: Where are your parents?
Harley Keener: Well, my mom's at work, and my dad went out to get scratchers...I-I guess he won, because that was six years ago.
Stark: Which happens. Dads leave. No need to be a pussy about it.

View Quote Tony Stark: You walked right into this one: I've dated hotter chicks than you.
Ellen Brandt: Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?
Stark: Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography!
[blows her up with an improvised bomb]

View Quote Wayne Gale: We are talking about nothing less than television history. The first sit-down interview with the most charismatic serial killer ever. This is Wallace and Noriega. This is Elton John confessing his bisexuality to Rolling Stone. This is the **** Nixon-Frost interviews. Time's running out, mate. What's the answer?
Mickey: I say go for it.

View Quote Wayne Gale: Wait! Don't Mickey and Mallory always leave one person alive to tell the tale?
Mallory: We are...
Mickey and Mallory: [in unison] Your camera!

View Quote Wayne Gale: So tell me. How can you look at an ordinary person, an innocent guy with kids, and then shoot him to death? I mean, how can you bring yourself to do that?
Mickey: Innocent? Who-who's innocent, Wayne? Are you innocent?
Wayne Gale: I'm innocent? Yes, I am. Of murder? Definitely.
Mickey: It's just murder. All God's creatures do it. You look in the forests and you see species killing other species, our species killing all species including the forests, and we just call it industry, not murder. But I know a lot of people who deserve to die.
Wayne Gale: Why do they deserve to die?
Mickey: I believe they got something in their past, some sin, some awful secret thing. A lot of people walking around out there already dead. They just need to be put out of their misery. That's where I come in. Fate's messenger.

View Quote Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...
[At their table]
Ariel Maloney: Bitch!
David Barnes: Hag!
Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!

View Quote Celeste Talbert: [sobbing] And now you're back, and I've ruined three lives! Three lives! Me, America's Sweetheart! [sobbing louder] Oh, God...!
David Barnes: [checks that the cameras are still rolling] This is **** great!

View Quote David Barnes: I was under orders.
Celeste Talbert: So - was - Hitler! Oh, no, I don't mean Hitler, I mean the other guy, the other one.
David Barnes: Himmler.
Celeste Talbert: No, no, no.
David Barnes: Hess.
Rose Schwartz: Eichmann.
David Barnes: Eichmann.

View Quote I know who I am! I'm a dude playing a dude, disguised as another dude! You a dude who don't know what dude he is.

View Quote Being an actor's no different than being a rugby player or a construction worker, save for the fact that my tools are the mechanisms that trigger human emotion.

View Quote Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man. Looked ****, act ****, not ****. Count toothpicks, cheat at cards. Autistic, sure. Not ****. Then you got Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump. Slow, yes, ****, maybe, braces on his legs, But he charmed the pants off Nixon, and he won a Ping-Pong competition. That ain't ****. [theatrical cut only] Peter Sellers, Being There. Infantile, yes, ****, no. [director's cut only] And he was a goddamn war hero. You know any **** war heroes? [both cuts] [silence] You went full ****, man. Never go full ****. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, I Am Sam. Remember? Went full ****, went home empty-handed.

View Quote Paul Avery: Okay, this can no longer be ignored. [points at Graysmith's drink, which is blue] What is that you're drinking?
Robert Graysmith: It's an Aqua Velva. You wouldn't make fun of it if you tried it.
[Avery helps himself to a sip; cut to six blue drinks later]
Robert Graysmith: But who actually cracked the code?

View Quote Paul Avery: Hey Bullitt, it's been almost a year. You gonna catch this ****in' guy or not?
Dave Toschi: Go **** yourself!
Paul Avery: Gladly.

View Quote Robert Graysmith: Does anybody ever call me names?
Paul Avery: What, you mean like "****"?
Robert Graysmith: Yeah.
Paul Avery: No.

View Quote I'm Damon Bradley.

View Quote Introducing himself to Faith, after she tells him the name of the man she is looking for.

View Quote I can't believe you're gonna let a few little letters of the alphabet keep us apart. It is a detail! Just — look, just call me Damon, okay? It'll be like a nickname.

View Quote I guess you'll just have to slap the cuffs on me, and take me in...

View Quote You are really on my very last nerve. You are a mind-boggling pain in my ass.

View Quote Catherine Walsh: Never one to be afraid of the obvious. I admire that in a man, Sam.
Sam Gerard: Have I done something?
Catherine Walsh: Yeah. You hit your prisoner while he was in handcuffs; that's against the rules. If he had any brains, he'd sue us.
Sam Gerard: He bit one of my kids; he got smacked on the head! So what?
Catherine Walsh: So what?
Sam Gerard: Yeah. So what?
Catherine Walsh: 27 stitches is "so what."
Sam Gerard: He needed a smack on the head. That's what he got.
Sam Gerard: Who's got my clothes?
Cosmo Renfro: I do.
[Cosmo shows a purple jacket]
Bobby Biggs: I told you.
Cosmo Renfro: What?
Bobby Biggs: He doesn't like it.
Cosmo Renfro: But I got this last Christmas.
John Royce: [showing Marie pictures of the dead agents] This is Sam Harmon, one of my friends, Sheridan killed him with his own bare hands. So was Neil Kazunski. Kazunski had three little kids.
Marie Bineaux: Stop doing this to me. Even if I knew this man. It's not a crime, he's done nothing wrong. I haven't heard from him.
Noah Newman: So, you do know him.
John Royce: You just lied to us.
Noah Newman: That's a federal offense.
Sam Gerard: Cosmo, where are you?
Cosmo Renfro: [shouting over the New York traffic] I'm in traffic! I'm in New York City! Where the hell do you think I am? We're on our way!
Cosmo Renfro: Sam.
Sam Gerard: Cosmo.
Cosmo Renfro: We're still at the Chinese Consulate. No sign of Chen since he went in.
Sam Gerard: Get the N.Y.P.D. on him. I want you and Royce here at Queens Hills Cemetery.
Cosmo Renfro: Where the hell is Queens Hills Cemetery?
Sam Gerard: Ask a cop.
John Royce: Know what? You look like hell.
Sam Gerard: I'm tired. I'm beat up.
John Royce: Get some rest, I'll wake you.
Sam Gerard: I'll be all right. That must be the gun that shot Newman.
John Royce: You are really on my very last nerve. You are a mind-boggling pain in my ass. Why couldn't you just die at the cemetery? Or on the plane? Cut yourself out of the rest if you want. Sit up. You know the job. You had the same training. We eliminate threats. You are the threat. Guess what? I'm down to my last option here.
Mark J. Sheridan: It was you. You set me up. You were the traitor.
John Royce: Yeah. I'm the man, Mark. You're the delivery boy. I needed a fall guy to make the bag drop in case things went south. Like the two DDS agents you gunned down at the U.N. Their blood is on your hands. If it's any consolation, I chose you because you're the best. That was my mistake. But I'm going to fix it now. You'll put that knife down like a good boy and... (Sheridan falls from his bed) Good night.
Sam Gerard: What are you doing?
John Royce: He tried to escape. Better shoot him, then.
Sam Gerard: Want to use your old gun?
John Royce: It's Sheridan's.
Sam Gerard: No, it's yours. You filed off the serial number. The gun he took from you, the gun he shot me with. The one you've carried since. I bet the bullets we pulled from my vest match those that killed Newman. Why did you shoot that boy?
John Royce: Didn't have a choice, really, Sam. He interrupted while I tried to put into Sheridan. (points his gun to Sam Gerard) What'll your story be? You caught me turning him loose? I'll think of something.
[after killing Royce]
Sam Gerard: Welcome home, Mark, wanna start running again?
Mark J. Sheridan: I think I'm going back to bed.
Cosmo Renfro: You know, you owe me an apology.
Sam Gerard: Yeah, I know, Cosmo, I know. But uh...
Cosmo Renfro: But what?
Sam Gerard: [exhales] But I don't even like you, man.
[everyone laughs]
Sam Gerard: Come on, let's go drink a toast to a good deputy named Noah Woodrow Newman.
Deputy Marshal Bobby Biggs: If we're going to drink to Newman, we better use milk.

View Quote Terry Crabtree: It's comforting to know that America's children have you for a teacher.
Grady Tripp: Nobody teaches a writer anything. You tell'em what you know. You tell'em to find their voice and stay with it. You tell the ones that have it to keep at it. You tell the ones that don't have it to keep at it too because that's the only way they're gonna get to where they're going. Of course, it does help if you know where you wanna go. Helping my students figure that out...that and Sara...that's what's made these last years worthwhile.

View Quote Terry Crabtree: Let me get this straight. Jerry Nathan owes you money, so as collateral he gives you his car.
Grady Tripp: Only I'm beginning to think that the car wasn't exactly Jerry's to give.
Terry Crabtree: Ah, so whose car was it?
Grady Tripp: My guess? Vernon Hardapple.
Terry Crabtree: The hood jumper?
Grady Tripp: He said a few things that lead me to believe that the car was his.
Terry Crabtree: Such as?
Grady Tripp: "That's my car, mother****er."

View Quote Antonia "Tony" Sloviak: Oh, that's such a beautiful Greenhouse.
Grady Tripp: It's Mrs. Gaskell's, it's her hobby.
Terry Crabtree: I thought you were Mrs. Gaskell's hobby.
Grady Tripp: Piss off, will ya Crabs? I lost a wife today.
Terry Crabtree: You'll find another one, you always do. She'll be younger, prettier; they always are.

View Quote [After his tech demo at MIT showing a younger version of himself and the last time he saw his parents] Binarily augmented retro-framing, or "B.A.R.F."–God, I gotta work on that acronym. An extremely costly method of hijacking the hippocampus to clear... traumatic memories. It doesn't change the fact that they never made it to the airport, or all the things I did to avoid processing my grief. Plus, six hundred and eleven million dollars for my little therapeutic experiment? No one in their right mind would've ever funded it.

View Quote [After SECSTATE Thunderbolt Ross presents a copy of the Sokovia Accords, the Avengers debate its legality, but Stark is miffed at Captain America's arguments on not signing it.]
Tony Stark: [Sees something in sink] Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed-and-breakfast for a biker gang? [Shows team an image on smartphone as he makes coffee] Oh, that's Charles Spencer by the way. He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree. 3.6 GPA. Had a floor-level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world, maybe be of service. Charlie didn't want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam. Sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer, building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where, Sokovia. He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass. [short pause as he drinks coffee] There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, we're boundaryless, we're no better than the bad guys.
Steve Rogers: Tony, someone dies on your watch, you don't give up.
Tony: Who said we're giving up?
Steve: We are, if we're not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.
Col. James Rhodes: Sorry. Steve, that, that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the World Security Council, it's not SHIELD, it's not HYDRA.
Steve: No, but it's run by people with agendas and agendas change.
Tony: That's good. That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing them.
Steve: Tony. You chose to do that. If we sign these, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there's somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.
Tony: If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later. That's a fact. That won't be pretty.
[After the Bucharest fight, in the back of a paddy wagon.]
Sam Wilson: So... you like cats?
Steve Rogers: Sam!
Wilson: What? Dude shows up dressed like a cat and you don't wanna know more?
Steve: [To T'Challa] Your suit. It's vibranium?
T'Challa: The Black Panther has been the protector of Wakanda for generations. A mantle passed from warrior to warrior. And now, because your friend murdered my father, I also wear the mantle of king. So I ask you, as both warrior and king... how long do you think you can keep your friend safe from me?
[Team Iron Man and Team Captain America confront each other on the airport tarmac.]
Iron Man: Alright. I've run out of patience. Underoos!
[Spider-Man uses his webbing to yank Cap's shield out of his hands and web them together, before sticking a landing on top of a car.]
Iron Man: Nice job, kid!
Spider-Man: Thanks! Well, I could have stuck the landing a little better. It's just, new suit. – Wait, it's nothing, Mr. Stark. It's – it's perfect, thank you.
Iron Man: Yeah, we really don't need to start a conversation.
Spider-Man: Okay. [Salutes a flabbergasted Cap] Cap– Captain? Big fan. Spider-Man.
Iron Man: Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Just–
Spider-Man: [Waves] Hey, everyone.
Iron Man: Good job.
[Spidey gets an idea for taking down Giant-Man.]
Spider-Man: Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie The Empire Strikes Back?
War Machine: Jesus, Tony, how old is this guy?
Iron Man: I don't know, I didn't carbon-date him. He's on the young side!
[After seeing the video of the Winter Soldier killing Howard and Maria Stark.]
Tony Stark: Did you know?
Steve Rogers: I, I didn't know it was him...
Tony: Don't bullshit me, Rogers, did you know?
Steve: [Heartbroken] Yes.
Iron Man: Stay down. Final warning.
Captain America: I can do this all day.
[As Cap and Iron Man duke it out over Bucky, T'Challa confronts Zemo.]
T'Challa: I almost killed the wrong man.
Helmut Zemo: [Scoffs] Hardly an innocent one.
T'Challa: Is this all you wanted? To see them rip each other apart?
Zemo: My father lived outside the city, and I thought we would be safe there. My son was excited. He could see the Iron Man from the car window. I told my wife, "Don't worry. They're fighting in the city. We're miles from harm." When the dust cleared, and the screaming stopped... It took me two days until I found their bodies. My father still holding my wife and son in his arms. And the Avengers? They went home. I knew I couldn't kill them. More powerful men than me have tried. But if I could get them to kill each other? [Beat] I'm sorry about your father. He seemed a good man. With a dutiful son.
T'Challa: Vengeance has consumed you. It's consuming them. I am done letting it consume me. Justice will come soon enough.
Zemo: Tell that to the dead. [**** a gun and puts it under his chin, but T'Challa catches him in time and restrains him easily]
T'Challa: The living are not done with you yet.
[Everett Ross welcomes Zemo to the Raft.]
Everett Ross: [To the imprisoned Zemo] Meals at eight and five, toilet privileges twice a day. Raise your voice? Zap. Touch the glass? Zap. You step out of line, you deal with me. Please, step out of line. [Grins] So how does it feel? To spend all that time, all that effort, and to see it fail so spectacularly?
Helmut Zemo: Did it? [Ross's smile falters]
[Post-credits scene: after Bucky goes into hibernation, Steve and T'Challa look out over Wakanda.]
Steve Rogers: You know if they find out he's here, they'll come for him.
T'Challa: Let them try.