Soapdish (1991) · 17 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Soapdish (1991): in 6 of its 17 quotes
Most scenes with: Celeste Talbert (3), David Barnes (3), Edmund Edwards (2)
Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range.
She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her.
Rose Schwartz Yeah.
We have to love her.
Rose Schwartz Mmm.
We have to care about her.
Rose Schwartz Mmm.
And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get.
I got pregnant, and I was so young! And the show made me sign a paper saying I'd never mention the baby! So I went home to Iowa, and I had you, and I gave you to Grandma to raise, and I made up a twin sister Simone who died in a car wreck and said she was your actual mom. And then the show told everyone I had TB and sent my character to a sanitarium in Tierra del Fuego...
Rose Now why can't I write shit like this?
I was under orders.
So - was - Hitler! Oh, no, I don't mean Hitler, I mean the other guy, the other one.
Himmler.
No, no, no.
Hess.
Rose Schwartz Eichmann.
Eichmann.
WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!
I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me?!
This is what I meant. This is what I told them to do. This is soap opera!
A second opinion... this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.
Rose Schwartz Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigations, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse, Montana Moorehead, because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island.
Rose Schwartz Hello.
Are you okay?
Oh, God! I got pregnant, and I was so young! And the show made me sign a paper saying I'd never mention the baby! So I... I went home to Iowa, and I had you, and I gave you to Grandma to raise, and I made up a twin sister Simone who died in a car wreck and said she was your actual mom! And then the show told everyone I had TB and sent my character to a sanitarium in Tierra del Fuego...
Rose Now why can't I write shit like this?
After I... After I came back from having Lori, I was terrible to you, I know that, I know that, I know that! All right? I blamed you for messing up my whole life, so I had you written off the show so you'd disappear - and you did! And now you're all back, and I've ruined three lives! THREE LIVES! Me, America's Sweetheart! [sobs louder] Oh, God...!
