[as Lori, Celeste, And Jeffrey kiss and make up]

WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!

I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me?!

[offstage, delighted]

This is what I meant. This is what I told them to do. This is soap opera!

[Ariel and Rose enter as doctors]

Doctor!

A second opinion... this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.

[German accent]

Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigations, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse, Montana Moorehead, because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island.

[Rose opens the high school yearbook showing Montana's teenage boy photo] [normal voice]

Hello.

[shouts and runs off]

NO! NO! NO!

[offstage]

She's a boy!

[long, incredulous pause]

Yeah, well we knew that. [starts gagging]

Are you okay?

[weak voice]

I'm fine. I'm just going to go congratulate the others.