Iron Man quotes from The Avengers (2012)

Sir, the telephone. I'm afraid my protocols are being overridden.

Uh–

Mr. Stark, we need to talk.

You have reached the Life-Model Decoy of Tony Stark. Please leave a message.

This is urgent.

Then leave it urgently. [The elevator nearby opens, and Coulson is in it] Security breach. [To Pepper] That's on you.

Mr. Stark?

Phil! Come in.

"Phil"?

I can't stay.

Uh, his first name is "Agent".

Come in, we're celebrating.

Which is why he can't stay.

We need you to look this over, as soon as possible. [hands a laptop to Tony]

I don't like being handed things–

That's fine, 'cause I love to be handed things, so let's trade. [takes the laptop from Coulson's hand while giving him her champagne glass; she then gives the laptop to Tony while taking his glass] Thank you.

Official consulting hours are between 8 and 5, every other Thursday...

This isn't a consultation.

Is this about the Avengers? [Coulson looks at her]...Which I know nothing about?

The Avengers Initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify.

I didn't know that either.

Yeah, apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, and don't play well with others.

That, I did know.

Thor

Do not touch me AGAIN.

Iron Man

Then don't take my stuff!

Thor

You have no idea what you are dealing with.

Iron Man

Uh.... Shakespeare in the Park? Doth Mother know you wear-eth her drapes?

Thor

This is beyond you, metal man. Loki will face Asgardian justice!

Iron Man

He gives up the Cube, he's all yours! Until then? [His mask comes down] Stay outta the way. [Under his breath] Tourist.

Thor

You speak of control, yet you court chaos.

That's his MO, isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're– we're a time-bomb.

Fury

You need to step away.

Why shouldn't the man let off a little steam?

You know damn well why! Back off!

I'm startin' to want you to make me.

Yeah. Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, what are you?

Uhh, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. [Natasha shrugs condescendingly, but concedes Stark's point]

I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.

I think I'd just cut the wire.

Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you'd better stop pretending to be a hero.

A hero? Like you? You're a lab experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.

Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds.

Loki

Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity.

Uh, actually, I'm planning to threaten you.

Loki

You should have left your armor on for that.

Yeah. It's seen a bit of mileage and you got the, uh, Glow Stick of Destiny. Would you like a drink?

Loki

Stalling me won't change anything.

No, no, no. Threatening. No drink? You sure? I'm having one. [Pours a glass of whisky]

Loki

The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?

The Avengers. [Loki looks confused] It's what we call ourselves. Sorta like a team. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" type of thing.

Loki

Yes. I've met them.

Yeah. Takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here. Your brother, a demigod; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breathtaking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella – you've managed to piss off every single one of them.

Loki

That was the plan.

Not a great plan. When they come – and they will– they'll come for you.

Loki

I have an army.

We have a Hulk.

Loki

I thought the beast had wandered off.

You're missing the point. There's no throne, okay? There is no version of this where you come out on top. Now maybe your army comes, and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it.

Loki

How will your friends have time for me– when they're so busy fighting you?

Loki

This usually works.

Well, performance issues. It's not uncommon. One out of five– [Loki grabs him by the throat and throws him across the room] JARVIS, any time now!

Loki

You will all fall before me!

JARVIS! Deploy! Deploy!

And there's one other person you pissed off! His name was Phil. [Blasts Loki]

Iron Man

Call it, Captain.

Captain America

Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal, our priority is containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back, or you turn it to ash.
Hawkeye [To Iron Man] Can you give me a lift?

Iron Man

Right. Better clench up, Legolas. [Flies Barton to the indicated rooftop]

Captain America

Thor, you gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow 'em down. You got the lightning. Light the bastards up. [Thor flies off on Mjölnir. Captain America continues speaking to Widow.] You and me, we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here. And Hulk?

Captain America

Smash.
[Hulk grins and leaps into battle.]

Power levels at 400% capacity.

Iron Man

How 'bout that?

Captain America

Now, I don't know what you plan on doing here.

Thor

I've come here to put an end to Loki's schemes!

Captain America

Then prove it. Put that hammer down.

Iron Man

Uh, yeah, no. Bad call! He loves his ha-- [Thor throws him across the forest with a single swing]

Thor

You want me to put the hammer down?!

Captain America

Are we done here?

Was he married?

No. There was a, uh... cellist. I think.

I'm sorry. He seemed like a good man.

He was an idiot.

Why? For believing?

For taking on Loki alone.

He was doing his job.

Ugh. He was out of his league! He should've waited! He should've...

Sometimes there isn't a way out, Tony.

Right. I've heard that before.

Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?

We are not soldiers. I'm not marching to Fury's fife.

Neither am I; he's got the same blood on his hands as Loki does. But right, now, we've gotta put that behind us and get this done.

Captain America

OK, the relays are intact! What's our next move?

Iron Man

Even if I clear the rotors, this thing won't re-engage without a jump. I'm gonna have to get in there and push.

Captain America

Well, if that thing gets up to speed, you'll get shredded.

Iron Man

Then stay in the control unit, it can reverse polarity long enough to dis-engage mag-lev and that should--

Captain America

Speak English.

Captain America

Stark, you seeing this?

Iron Man

Seeing. Still working on believing.