B-Movie Actress So what do you do?
I'm retired, I invented dice as a kid.
Harry
Robert Downey Jr. · 31 quotes
Gay Perry
Val Kilmer · 19 quotes
Harmony
Michelle Monaghan · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Harry & Gay Perry (12), Harry & Harmony (3)
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang quotes
Page 1 of 3 B-Movie Actress
Bear in TV Ad
I drink Genaro beer. But then, what do I know? I'm a bear. I suck the heads off of fish.
[After Harry fatally shoots him] :Harlan Dexter: Captain **** magic.
Mr. Fire Well, well, look what we got here. How you doin' tough guy?[Harry grabs a gun] Oh, you got a gun. Damn, you are tough.[Harry shoots Mr. Fire to death.]
Mr. Frying Pan No he's the Fire. **** you, Mr. Mustard.
Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call.
Bad.
Excuse me?
Sleep bad. Otherwise, it makes it seem like the mechanism that allows you to sleep...
What, ****head? Badly's an adverb. Who taught you grammar? Get out. Vanish.
I want you to picture a bullet inside your head right now. Can you do that for me?
Gunman
**** you. Anyway, that's ambiguous.
Ambiguous. No, no, I don't think so.
No, I think what he means is that when you say "Picture it inside your head" okay is that that a bullet will be inside your head. Or picture it in your head.
Harry will you shut up.
Well he's got a point.
Gunman
Look, I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing.
[Harry begins unloading his revolver] :Harry: Oh okay, you know what? I think you are bluffing right now.
Harry what are you doing?
[sticks one bullet in the cylinder and spins it.] :Harry: Well what I am doing for the guy who likes tobluff, is I am playing a little game called "Am I bluffing?" Where is she? Where the **** is Harmony?
Harry,
[Harry spins the cylinder again and closes it] :Harry: You want to play hard ball, I can do that. Where...is...the girl![The gun unexpectedly fires into the gunman's head.]
What did you just do!?
There was only one bullet in that right?
Yes, you put a live round into that gun.
Well I didn't know I thought there was like an...eight percent chance.
Eight? Who taught you math?
Is that the body?
No, that's the other corpse, from the last guy who stayed here.
**** off.
Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
A picture of me?
No! The definition of the word "idiot"! Which you **** are!
Merry Christmas. Sorry I **** you over.
No problem. Don't quit your gay job.
So she comes to the door with nothing on but the radio. And she leads me inside and I sit down, right? Well, then she sits right on my lap and lights up a spliff.
Really? That happened?
No. Idiot.
Mmmm, I heard about that. It was neck and neck until she skipped lunch.
Do you think I'm stupid?
I don't think you'd know where to put food, if you didn't flap your mouth so much. Yes I think you're stupid.
I swear to God, it's like somebody took America by the East Coast, and shook it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on.
OK, everyone who hates Harry raise your hand!
[All the girls in the club raise their hands.]
See that? Obedient little bitches too.
[Off-screen girl shouts "**** you!" and tosses a glass at Perry which he dodges]
Oh Wow. Woo. It's tiny. Is this real?
Yeah, it's a Derringer. It's loaded. I call it my **** gun.
Because...
Because it's only good for a couple shots, then you gotta drop it for something better. You asked, chief.
Still gay?
No, knee-deep in pussy. I just love the name so much I can't get rid of it.
That's it. That's the true story of what happened last Christmas. [Lights a cigarette] That was some pretty harsh shit. The old guy back there, right? [Mimics the slapping] But, whatever, he's creepy, **** him, don't worry 'bout him. Uh, anyhow, so, um, thanks for coming. Thanks for taking the trip to L.A. with me. Uh...I mean, if I have to-to sum it up, and I do, cause it's like, you know, the end, I would say this movie is...is about friendship. Friendship is...is...is sacred.
What are you doing?
I'm just trying to wrap up the movie, and leave the people a message.
Oh. Well, I got a message for ya: Get your feet off my **** desk.
Sorry. I work for Perry now–
[Covers Harry's mouth]
And stop narrating. [to the audience] That's it, please stay for the end credits. If you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew. Um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said "****" so much. Say "Good night". [Uncovers Harry's mouth]
Thanks, again.
Now go. Vanish. [Turns off the camera]
Umm, clearly I'm interrupting. I feel badly. Let me... What are you drinking?
Bad.
Bad? Sorry... feel...?
You feel bad.
Bad?
Badly is an adverb. So, to say you feel badly would be saying that the mechanism which allows you to feel is broken.