[in the train, watching for attackers with his gun ready]
How many were you expecting?
A wedding present from Moriarty. [to Mary] Lovely ceremony by the way. Many a tear shed in joy.
[shoots]
Yes, just a minute, darling!
Well then I should have to... do something about that. [As they cross a bridge, he pushes Mary out of the train, and she falls into the river]
[shoots]
Who’s up to bat next, you bastards? [fires] Send out the fast bowler!
John, do shut the door. [Watson does it, looks around, and realises that Mary is gone] It had to be done! [Watson runs to the other door and looks out] She’s safe now! In my own defence... [Watson attacks him and punches him] I timed it perfectly!
Did you kill my wife?! Did you just kill my new wife?!
[slaps him]
What do you mean? How do you know that when you just threw her off a train?!
I told you I timed it perfectly!
What does that mean?! [They struggle] Explain!
By the time I explain, we'll both be dead! [Moriarty's henchmen open the door and one of them aims a rifle, which is jammed with a lipstick cap inserted into the barrel; lengthy flashback begins showing that Holmes has replaced a bullet in an ammo belt with a tube of lipstick and shoves the cap in the rifle barrel, before covering the henchmen in phosphorus dust; in real time, the henchman fires, the cap creates a squib load, the barrel ruptures, igniting the phosphorus, causing the henchman to burst into flames]
That was no accident. It was by design. Now, do you need me to elaborate, or can we just crack on?
[kicks the automobile in an approving manner]
Not bad that. So, where are we going?
MH Mycroft Holmes
[out of sight]
In the future there’ll be one of these machines in every town in Europe. [emerges out from under an overhanging roof]
Loitering in the woodshed again, are we, Myckie?
MH Mycroft Holmes
Good evening, Sherly.
MH Mycroft Holmes
I see your boot maker is ill, dear brother.
As I detect that you have recently changed the brand of soap with which you shave.
MH Mycroft Holmes
May I point out that the chimney in the front room at Baker Street is still in need of a damn good sweeping out?
Are you aware that the hackney carriage by which you arrived had a damaged wheel?
MH Mycroft Holmes
Yes, the left. And it’s plain to the meanest intelligence that you have recently acquired a new bow for your violin.
And may I deduce, Mycroft...good evening, by the way. [gives Mycroft his hand]
[to Watson]
He doesn't...
Ah, well. May I deduce that you who rarely strays from the path that runs from your home to the Diogenes Club and never on a Monday when they serve your favourite potted shrimps must be here for some far more important reason than my stag party?
MH Mycroft Holmes
You know he’s nothing like as slow-witted as you’ve been leading me to believe, Sherly.
[showing Holmes and Watson their horses, to Watson]
The black one is yours. The grey one is mine. [to Holmes] And this is for you.
Ah, hm, right! Where are the wagons?
The wagon is too slow. Can’t you ride? [Watson grimaces, hesitatingly]
It’s not that he can’t ride. How is it you put it, Holmes?
They're dangerous at both ends and crafty in the middle. Why would I want anything with a mind of its own bobbing about between my legs? Then I should require a bicycle, thank you very much! It’s 1891! Could have chartered a balloon! [He stalks off; Watson turns to Simza]
How can we make this more manageable?
[Cuts to the group travelling on horses through the woods, followed by Holmes - who is riding a little pony!]
Where's the fire?
Are you familiar with the study of graphology?
I’ve never given it any serious thought, no.
The psychological analysis of handwriting. The upward strokes on the ‘p’, the ‘j’, the ‘m’, indicate a genius level intellect, while the flourishes in the lower zone denote a highly creative, yet meticulous nature, but if one observers the overall slant and the pressure of the writing, there’s suggestion of acute narcissism, a complete lack of empathy, and a pronounced inclination toward-
In answer to your previous request regarding Dr. Watson not being involved, the answer is "no": the laws of celestial mechanics dictate that when two objects collide, there is always damage of a collateral nature. [stands up] Exempli gratia: two gentlemen find themselves at cross purposes. [flashback to Irene at the restaurant] A young woman, torn between them. The strain proves too much for her, and she suddenly falls ill [Irene stops, gasps, clutches her chest, and collapses] with tragic consequences. [Moriarty sets down one of Irene's monogrammed handkerchiefs on a chess board; a flashback is shown of him grabbing it from the dying Irene's hand] A rare form of tuberculosis. She succumbed in a matter of seconds. [Moriarty picks up a king] Now, are you sure you want to play this game?
Rest assured, if you attempt to bring destruction down upon me, I shall do the same to you. My respect for you, Mr. Holmes, is the only reason you're still alive.
You have paid me several compliments. Let me pay you one in return when I say that if I were assured of the former eventuality... I would cheerfully accept the latter.
PJ Prof. James Moriarty
Oh and... give my regards to the happy couple.
Has all my instruction been for naught? [pours] You still read the official statement and believe it. It’s a game, dear man, a shadowy game. We’re playing cat and mouse, the professor and I. Cloak and dagger.
I thought it was spider and fly. [reads the label of the bottle Holmes has been pouring from]
I’m not a fly, I’m a cat.
Not a mouse, but a dagger. [Holmes drinks] You’re drinking embalming fluid.
[exhales]
Yes. Care for a drop?
Psychotic. [pause] I should’ve brought you a sedative.
[disguised as a Chinese man]
Three men have been following you for the last half mile. Their motives... highly unsavoury.
[turns around to look and sees the men]
No! [pulls Holmes away with her; in a secluded alley; Irene gasps and turns around to Holmes] Oh and by the way, they’re not pursuing me, they’re escorting me [looks over Holmes' shoulder at the three other thugs who approach them] and instead of three, there seem to be, er, four.
[gives a short laugh, Irene takes the packet out of his hands]
Steady hands with that, Irene.
Oh, I don’t think it’s my hands you have to worry about. [addressing the thugs] Now, be careful with the face, boys! We do have a dinner date tonight. [to Holmes] Don’t fill up on bread. [leaves]
[Thug begins to whistle Mozart’s Serenade No. 13. When Holmes joins in, they begin to take off his disguise] [stops suddenly and smiles]
I forgot the rest. [The biggest thug grabs him around the throat and shoves him into a wall] Uh, it’s coming back now. [proceeds to beat up the thugs]
[Visualizing his final fight with Moriarty; thinking]
His advantage: My injury. My advantage: His rage [After lighting Holmes' pipe, Moriarty attacks, Holmes tries to block him, exchanging blows] Incoming assault feral... but experienced. Use his momentum to counter. [Holmes starts to block and counter Moriarty's punches and punches him in the face]
[Visualizing the same fight with Holmes; thinking]
Come now, you really think you're the only one that can play this game? [Moriarty takes punch from Holmes and locks his left arm while hitting Holmes' injured right shoulder] Chop arm, target weakness. [Swings Holmes into a pillar] Follow with haymaker.
[Countering Moriarty's haymakers]
Ah, there we find the boxing champion of Cambridge. [Punches Moriarty]
Competent, but predictable. [Blocks and catches Holmes' left arm] Now, allow me to reply [Blocks Holmes' right punch and jabs his injured shoulder]
Arsenal running dry, adjust strategy. [Holmes tries to kick at Moriarty's feet, he counters, and starts to overpower Holmes]
[Slams Holmes against a table]
Wound taking its toll. [Twists Holmes' injured arm and shoulder]
As I feared. Injury makes defense untenable. [Moriarty twists Holmes onto the railing of the balcony] Prognosis: Increasingly negative [Moriarty is able to hit Holmes more freely and block any desperate punches from Holmes]
Let's not waste anymore of one another's time. We both know how this ends. [Moriarty pushes Holmes over the railing, to the falls below.]
[Cuts back to Holmes and Moriarty looking at one another, Moriarty lighting Holmes' pipe] [Smiles at Moriarty, who smiles back; thinking]
Conclusion: Inevitable. Unless...[As Moriarty finishes lighting his pipe, Holmes blows the embers into Moriarty's face, stunning him, allowing Holmes to grapple him and pull them both back against the railing. Just then, Watson shows up, seeing them. Holmes looks at Watson, then closes his eyes, kicking off a table and flipping both him and Moriarty over the railing.]
[Adler meets Moriarty at a restaurant]
Do you have the letter?
Taken? Well that is unfortunate.
During the chaos created by your package. [A waiter pours tea for her] Thank you. [to Moriarty] Perhaps... if you had shared your plans-
You wish to know my plans, now, do you? Did you imagine, Miss Adler, that something would happen to you? Is that why you chose to meet here in a public place? Your favourite restaurant?
[Moran immediately taps a spoon against his glass three times. On cue, everybody in the room, including the waiters, stops what they are doing, stands up, and file out of the room, except for Moran, Moriarty and Irene]
I don’t blame you. I blame myself. It’s been apparent to me for quite some time than you had succumbed to your feelings for him. And this isn’t the first occasion Mr Holmes has inconvenienced me in recent months... The question is... what to do about it?
[During the train trip, someone knocks on the door to Watson and Mary's compartment]
Come in! [The door opens and a man with a champagne bottle comes in]
"Train Conductor" With our compliments, sir.
Thank you. Put it there. [The conductor comes in and closes the door behind himself. He promptly attacks Watson with a knife, but Watson wards him off, and Mary puts a gun to his head, while Watson opens the door]
Open the door, John. I think it’s time for you to leave!
[throws the man off the train; to Mary]
Sit down! [opens the door and looks out. A couple of soldiers come towards their compartment; a mystery person suddenly overpowers one of the soldiers and opens fire on the other men, who duck as bullets shatter the windows; when the intruder comes towards Watson, Watson draws his gun on - Holmes, in drag!]
I agree, it's not my best disguise, but I had to make do! [enters the compartment]
Oh, my God! [Holmes sits down next to Mary and hands Watson his pistol]
[Holmes and Watson are in Simza's tent]
Madame, this a glorious hedgehog goulash, I can't remember ever having had better.
Do tell me, when was the last time you had hedgehog goulash?
I told you Watson, I can't remember.
