Kirk Lazarus

Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man. Looked ****, act ****, not ****. Count toothpicks, cheat at cards. Autistic, sure. Not ****. Then you got Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump. Slow, yes, ****, maybe, braces on his legs, But he charmed the pants off Nixon, and he won a Ping-Pong competition. That ain't ****. [theatrical cut only] Peter Sellers, Being There. Infantile, yes, ****, no. [director's cut only] And he was a goddamn war hero. You know any **** war heroes? [both cuts] [silence] You went full ****, man. Never go full ****. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, I Am Sam. Remember? Went full ****, went home empty-handed.