Johnny Depp movie quotes

View Quote [To himself whilst in the Locker] [distressed] But why? Wh-why would he do that? [derisive] Well, because he's a lummox, isn't he? [lofty and snobbish] Well, we shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited! [giggles]

View Quote Up is down. Well that's just maddeningly unhelpful! Why are these things never clear? [hallucinated Jack] Clear as mud, Jackie. [Jack] What?! [hallucination] Stab the heart. [another hallucination on his left shoulder] Don't stab the heart! [Jack] Come again? [left Jack] The Dutchman must have a captain. [Jack] Well that's just more than less than unhelpful.

View Quote [To his hallucinations of himself] I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness. [Swings off ship]

View Quote My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

View Quote Alas, my Children! This is the day that you shall always remember as the day you almost- [a huge wave washes over him, drowning him out. Dejected tone] ...Cap'n Jack Sparrow.

View Quote No, you want you to find this. Because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and/or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle ol' what's-her-face. [pause] Savvy?

View Quote You need to find yourself a girl, mate. Or, perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?

View Quote I think we've all arrived at a very special place; spiritually ... ecumenically ... grammatically.

View Quote No one, he's no one... distant cousin of my aunt's nephew, twice removed... lovely singing voice though. [whispers] Eunuch.

View Quote Weiss: All right, fine! You can direct it. I want a script in three days. We start shooting a week from Monday.
Ed: Oh... oh, Mister Weiss, thank you so much! You won't regret it! I won't let you down!

View Quote Bela Lugosi: I refuse to drive in this country. Too many madmen.
Ed Wood: Well... I have a car.

View Quote Ed Wood: Boy, Mister Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life! When is your next picture coming out?
Bela: I have no next picture.
Ed: You gotta be joking. A big star like you? You must have dozens of 'em lined up.
Bela: In the old days, yes. Now, no one gives two ****s for Bela.

View Quote A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth, but nobody should be asked to handle this trip. Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.

View Quote I was right in the middle of a **** reptile zoo! And somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things! It won't be long now, before they tear us to shreds.

View Quote [Yelling to Dr. Gonzo] PLEASE, TELL ME ABOUT THE **** GOLF SHOES!

View Quote Your Pappy and them boys are about to hang for something they didn't do. But I've got a plan.

View Quote [warming up] Mmmmmmaaaaahhhh... mmmmaaaahhh, mah! Crunchy, creamy, cookie, candy, cupcake. [shakes] OK, everybody, let's take it from the top.

View Quote [famous repeated line] Who am I? I could be anyone.

View Quote [to Angelica] I thought I should give you warning. We're taking the ship. It's nothing personal. [Leaves her cabin; Angelica shouts at Jack, in Spanish, "Sparrow, come back here or I will break your head!"; Jack closes her cabin door, locking it] I just think it would be best if you - [Sword comes through door] - stay out of it.

View Quote (Posing as the judge) So, what do we here?(grins, to which Gibbs says "Jack?")

View Quote [after jumping off of the now-exploded lighthouse] Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again.

View Quote [to Alice] You used to be much more... muchier. You've lost your muchness.

View Quote 'Twas brillig/and the slithy toves/did gyre and gimble in the wabe/all mimsy were the borogoves/and the mome raths outgrabe.

View Quote [oratorical, with Scottish accent] The abused and enslaved in the Red Queen's court. All of you: Stand up and fight. Rise up against the bloody Red Queen.

View Quote But life is not a succession of urgent nows. It's a listless trickle of why should I's.

View Quote When I wake in the country, I dream of being in London. When I get here, it's full of people like you. (Speaking of the Merry Gang)

View Quote I shall never forgive you for teaching me how to love life.

View Quote Why is everyone trying to kill me?!

View Quote (to Elise) Would you rather have me smoking for real?

View Quote (to Elise) You are the least down to earth person I've ever met.

View Quote [to the reanimated corpse of his old dog, Scraps] Play dead...oh, sorry.

View Quote With this hand, I will cup your...oh, goodness, no!

View Quote I've got a ... dwarf... and I'm not afraid to use him! I want some questions, now!

View Quote I was raised on a farm in Mooresville, Indiana. My mama died when I was three. My daddy beat the hell out of me cause he didn't know no better way to raise me. I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars, whiskey, and you... what else you need to know?

View Quote You wanna know if we're armed? We're armed.

View Quote Well, here's the man who killed Pretty Boy Floyd. Damn good thing he was pretty 'cause he sure wasn't Whiz-Kid Floyd.

View Quote You know, it seems to me that, I mean, except for being a little mentally ill, she's pretty normal.

View Quote Ruthie, do you got any avocados?

View Quote Oh, oh Benny, hey Benny, thanks for the couch... um Mike made me sleep under the sink.

View Quote If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite.

View Quote William Blake: What is your name?
Nobody: My name is Nobody.
William Blake: Excuse me?
Nobody: My name is Exaybachay. He Who Talks Loud, Saying Nothing.
William Blake: He who talks... I thought you said your name was Nobody.
Nobody: I preferred to be called Nobody.

View Quote William Blake: Do you still have my eyeglasses?
Nobody: No, I traded them. Do you have any tobacco?
William Blake: No, I traded it.
Nobody: For what?
William Blake: I'm not telling.
Nobody: Liar.
William Blake: Thief.

View Quote There's a hole in the world/like a great black pit/and it's filled with people/who are filled with shit/and the vermin of the world inhabit it.

View Quote I can guarantee the closest shave you'll ever know.

View Quote These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett. Desperate measures are called for...

View Quote We don't really move. I mean, we'd like to, but... my mom is sort of attached to the house. Attached is, I guess, not the right word. She's pretty much wedged in.

View Quote I know a boy whose name is Arnie... he's, uh, 'bout to turn 18 and have a big party. I know a boy whose name is Arnie. C'mon down, buddy.

View Quote Betty: Hey. I could have had any guy, any guy, but I chose you. I chose you.
Gilbert: Why did you?
Betty: [pause] Because... I knew you'd always be there. Because I knew you'd never leave.

View Quote Glen: [glancing at the book Nancy's reading] "Booby Traps and Improvised Anti-personnel Devices"? What're you reading it for?
Nancy: I'm into survival.

View Quote Glen: Oh man. Midnight. Baseball bats and bogeymen. Beautiful.

View Quote Nancy: You believe it's possible to dream about what's going to happen?
Glen: No.
Nancy: You believe in the bogeyman?
Glen: No. Rod killed Tina, and you know it.

View Quote You cannot kill me because I am already dead.

View Quote I am reminded of a line from Erich Segal's Love Story: "Love means never having to say you're sorry." However, it is with sincere regret that I must now kill all of you.

View Quote Ah, music. Yes, I'm rather fond of the music of the day. "I am a picker, I am a grinner / I am a lover and I am a sinner / I play my music in the sun". If only Shakespeare had been as eloquent.

View Quote If I come out alive, this guy, Lefty, ends up dead. That's the same thing as me putting the bullet in his head myself.

View Quote All my life I've tried to be the good guy, the guy in the white **** hat. And for what? For nothing. I'm not becoming like them; I am them.

View Quote Lefty: There's the boss. And, under him, there's the skipper. You know how this works?
Donnie Brasco: Yeah, it's like in the army.
Lefty: Bullshit. The army is some guy you don't know telling you to go whack some other guy you don't know.

View Quote Esmeralda: It's not heaven he's from! It's straight from the stinking flames of hell! The power of Satan is in him; I can feel it. Can't you? Have you poor sheep strayed so far from the path?
Edward: We're not sheep.
Esmeralda: Don't come near me!

View Quote Kim: Hold me.
Edward: [tries to hold her]...I can't.

View Quote Peg: What happened to you? Where are your parents? Your mother? Um...father?
Edward: He didn't wake up.

View Quote "I know I can do it", Todd Downey said, helping himself to another ear of corn from the steaming bowl. "I'm sure that in time, every bit of her will be gone, and her death will be a mystery... even to me."

View Quote What do you think it means, you ignorant hick? I'm in the middle of a divorce. D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Deee-vorce!

View Quote John Shooter: You stole my story.
Mort Rainey: I'm sorry... I don't believe I know you.
John Shooter: I know that. That doesn't matter. I know you, Mr. Rainey; that's what matters. You stole my story.
Mort Rainey: You're mistaken. I don't read manuscr-
John Shooter: You read this one already. You stole it.
Mort Rainey: I can assure you that-
John Shooter: I know you can; I know that. I don't wanna be assured.
Mort Rainey: If you want to talk to someone about some grievance you may have, you can call my literary agent.
John Shooter: This is between you and me. We don't need any outsiders, Mr. Rainey; it is strictly between you and me.
Mort Rainey: All right. Look, Mr. Whoever-You-Are. I don't like being accused of plagiarism, if that is in fact what you're accusing me of. Chico, inside!
John Shooter: I don't blame you for not likin' it, but you did it.
Mort Rainey: You're gonna have to leave; I have nothing more to say.
John Shooter: Yeah, I'll go. We'll talk more later.
[Shooter holds out his rolled-up manuscript.]
Mort Rainey: I'm not taking that.
John Shooter: Won't do you any good to play games, Mister Rainey. This has got to be settled.
Mort Rainey: So far as I'm concerned, it is.

View Quote [about the crime scene] Oh, yes... It is one **** of a bummer to look at, I can tell you that.

View Quote The 'unted is always "mister", the 'unter is always "monsieur".

View Quote [groans while holding stomach] You just had to have the second slider. You just HAD to HAVE the second slider. Oof...

View Quote [on the phone] Listen, I have got a swell buncha guys intercepting Marquez's army but they've got no guns! Now listen, I want you to understand me. This is no time to screw the pooch because this is supposed to be the big dance number alright? Hello? Hello you there? OK Ok I'm gonna freak right out!

View Quote You know that with-holding vital information from a federal officer is a serious offense. Especially, when that officer has paid handsomely for it and I wouldn’t think twice about ripping that patch off your eye hole and skull **** you to death.

View Quote Sands: Nice tune.
El Mariachi: Something my brother taught me. I killed him.
Sands: Yes I was privy to that information already. How charming. You know, "El"--if I may call you that--I've been doing little snooping around and it seems that the Cartels have a price on your head. I wouldn't want be you. Tell me, is there anyone who doesn't want you dead?
El Mariachi: You tell me.
Sands: I need you to kill a man. [Sands' food arrives, and he tastes it.] El, you really must try this. It's a puerco pibil. It's a slow roasted pork--nothing fancy, just happens to be my favorite--and I order it, with a tequila and lime, in every dive I go to in this country and honestly, that is the best it's ever been, anywhere. In fact, it's too good. It is so good that when I finish with it, I'll pay my check, walk straight into the kitchen, and shoot the cook, because that's what I do, I restore the balance to this country. And that is what I would like from you right now. Help me keep the balance by pulling the trigger.
El Mariachi: You want me to shoot the cook?
Sands: No, I'll shoot the cook, my car's parked out back anyway. You will kill Marquez. Do you remember General Marquez? He's been paid by the Barillo Cartel to kill the President in an attempted coup d'etat.
El Mariachi: Attempted?
Sands: No, no, no, the President will be killed, because he's that piece of good pork that needs to get balanced out. I said 'attempted' because we don't want Marquez taking power. I need you, to put the hurting, so to speak, on Marquez after he's killed the President. Savvy?
El Mariachi: So why me?
Sands: Well, frankly because you have nothing to live for, and in a way you're already dead and Marquez is the man who killed you. So why not return the favor? Go to the church, meet with an associate of mine named Salome at three o'clock and I will call you with further instructions. [El Mariachi grabs the picture, tastes the puerco pibil] Was I right? [El Marichi spits the food to the floor] Guess not.

View Quote [last lines; to Newt] Will we die just a little?

View Quote Gellert Grindelwald: [scornfully, as he is being led away by the Aurors] Do you think you can hold me?
Seraphina Picquery: We'll do our best, Mr. Grindelwald.

View Quote Under my watch, no gnome shall be broken.

View Quote I'm Sherlock Gnomes, sworn protector of London's garden gnomes.