Most scenes together: Captain Jack Sparrow & Henry (6), Captain Jack Sparrow & Carina (4), Captain Jack Sparrow & Scrum (3)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales quotes
Page 1 of 2Hold on, stop. Dad? [the pirate stops singing and turns to face Jack] Uncle Jack!
Jackie, boy! How is it going?
Can't complain, really. You?
I've been waiting all morning in here for a beating. But the service is terrible.
Shameful.
The oceans have turned to blood. Best to stay on dry land, where it's safe.
I'm about to be executed on dry land.
Good point. Did I ever tell you about the one with the skeleton?
Yes, you have, many times–
A skeleton goes into a bar, and orders a beer and a mop!
...Funny as ever.
Guard Come on, let's go. [the guards pull Jack away]
Oh, if they disembowel you, ask for Victor. He's got the softest hands!
Thank you!
And mention my name, he won't cut your feet off!
Help! There's a witch in my shop! [Jack enters] And a pirate! There's a witch and a pirate in my shop!
Well, it's your lucky day! Have either of the four of you seen my bank?
Jack Sparrow... [holds up a wanted poster of Jack Sparrow] Do you know this pirate?
Only by name.
Find S-Sparrow for me and relay a message, from Capitán Salazar...Sal-A-Zar. Tell him: death will come straight for him. Will you say that to him, please?
Yes.
I wish I could do it, but dead men tell no tales.
I have heard stores of a mighty Spanish captain who sunk and killed thousands of men...
No, no, no, no! Men, no! Pirates! (flashback of Salazar's past plays) Pirates had infected the seas for generations, taking the life of my father and his father before him. So I vowed to end this plague once and for all. And that's what I did. I destroyed dozens of ships.
Who are you?
My name is Henry Turner. Son of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann.
Ewww. You're the evil spawn of them two.
No.
Oh, go on. She call my name in her sleep?
She never spoke of you.
Are you sure we're talking about the same people? He's a cursed eunuch. She's golden-haired, stubborn, pouty lips, neck like a giraffe, and two of those wonderful...
Yes! Yes, it's her.
Treasure.
I'm not looking for trouble.
What a horrible way to live.
My calculations are precise and true. I'm not just an astronomer. I'm also a horologist.
No shame in that, dear. We all have to make a living.
No, I'm a horologist.
So was my mum. Although she didn't crow about it quite as loud as you.
The men on that ship are looking for Jack, so I'm going to swim for it. [she takes off her dress]
Carina, stop that.
No, no, don't stop that.
This has gone far enough!
No, it has not!
Why? She was almost finished!
I saw her ankles.
You would've seen a lot more if you kept your cakehole shut.
Hand me your sword.
I don't have a sword.
What kind of soldier has no weapon?
I'm currently wanted for treason.
So not the very good kind then?
I'm looking for a pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow?
Well today's your lucky day. Because I just happen to be Captain Jack Sparrow.
No, it can't be. I've spent years searching for... this. The great Jack Sparrow is not some drunk in a cell. Do you even have a ship, a crew... pants?
A great pirate does not require such intricacies.
Do you know how long I've been waiting for this moment? The risks I've taken to be here? Are you sure you're the Jack Sparrow?
The real question is, who are you?
I found a way to save my father. There is one thing that can break his curse and free him from the Dutchman. The Trident of Poseidon.
Ah. The treasure to be found with The Map That No Man Can Read. Never heard of it.
There is a girl inside this prison, Jack, who holds that map. The moon has turned to blood, the Trident will be found... [Jack falling asleep] and you could be the one who holds the sea... and with it become all that you once were. The great... Jack!
I'm so sorry. Were you still talking? I believe I nodded off a bit.
Why did I bother coming to you? The dead are hunting us down and you do nothing.
Nothing! You call this nothing?
You're drunk! And you're sleeping.
My point exactly! I am doing two things at once.