Captain Jack Sparrow Allow me to lend a machete to your intellectual thicket...
Most-quoted character in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007): in 72 of its 242 quotes
Most scenes with: Captain Barbossa (9), Davy Jones (4), Lord Cutler Beckett (4)
But why? Wh-why would he do that? [derisive] Well, because he's a lummox, isn't he? [lofty and snobbish] Well, we shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited! [giggles]
More lines from Captain Jack Sparrow
41 quotes Captain Jack Sparrow Captain Jack Sparrow My peanut! (He just shot a hallucination of himself who was trying to eat a peanut, his first line in this movie.)
Captain Jack Sparrow He needs the Pearl. Captain Turner needs the Pearl. [To Elizabeth] And you felt guilty. [To Barbossa] And you and your Brethren Court. Did no one come to save me just because they missed me? [Marty, then Ragetti, Pintel, and Jack the monkey raise their hands] I'm standing over there with them.
Captain Jack Sparrow Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past. One of you succeeded. [After Will looks suspiciously at Elizabeth] Oh, she's not told you. You'll have loads to talk about while you're here.
Captain Jack Sparrow [Summing up his crew whilst in the Locker; to Ragetti]
Don't need you--you scare me. Mr. Gibbs, you can come, Marty--[sees Pintel] Eugh. Mr Cotton... Cotton's parrot, a lttle iffy, but at least I'll have someone to talk to.
Captain Jack Sparrow We must fight... to run away.
Captain Jack Sparrow You may kill me but you may never insult me! Who am I? [Beckett looks confused] ... (Disappointed) I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!
Captain Jack Sparrow I rather like the sound of that...Captain Jack Sparrow, the last pirate.
Captain Jack Sparrow I will not be going back to the Locker, mate. Count on that.
Captain Jack Sparrow We are to assume that she is a woman scorned, like which fury hell hath no!
Captain Jack Sparrow Up is down. Well that's just maddeningly unhelpful! Why are these things never clear? [hallucinated Jack] Clear as mud, Jackie. [Jack] What?! [hallucination] Stab the heart. [another hallucination on his left shoulder] Don't stab the heart! [Jack] Come again? [left Jack] The Dutchman must have a captain. [Jack] Well that's just more than less than unhelpful.
Captain Jack Sparrow [To hallucinated Jack, a Dutchman crew member, Bootstrap Bill]
Nobody move! Dropped me brain!
Captain Jack Sparrow Now we're being followed by rocks... never heard that one before.
Captain Jack Sparrow [Pointing to the line "parlay" in the pirates code]
Fancy that.
Captain Jack Sparrow How's mum? [Teague holds up a shrunken head] ...She looks.... great!
Captain Jack Sparrow [About the Black Pearl]
Yes. there it is...Why's it there?
Captain Jack Sparrow [About the Black Pearl]
It's much bigger up close.
Captain Jack Sparrow Well, that's even more than less than unhelpful.
Captain Jack Sparrow [Surrounded by pirates pointing guns at him]
Parlay?
Captain Jack Sparrow [About Barbossa]
Shoot him, then cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard.
Captain Jack Sparrow [To his hallucinations of himself]
I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness. [Swings off ship]
Captain Jack Sparrow [Trying to escape the brig]
Think like the whelp, think like the whelp, think like the whelp... Half-barrel hinges. Leverage!
Captain Jack Sparrow Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent, and fierce, and huge-ish, and... gone..... why is it gone?!
Captain Jack Sparrow [Voting for King of the Brethren court]
...Elizabeth Swann. [everyone looks at him in shock] I know, curious, isn't it?.
Captain Jack Sparrow [After he learns Sao Feng made Elizabeth captain]
They're just giving the bloody title away now!
Captain Jack Sparrow [Elizabeth tries to kiss him]
Once was quite enough.
Captain Jack Sparrow [In reply to Barbossa's claim to have a ship, pointing to the Pearl]
Can't spot it. It must be a tiny thing hiding somewhere behind the Pearl.
Captain Jack Sparrow [While Giselle and Scarlett are argueing, Jack mad about his ship stolen again by Barbossa]
Ladies, will you please shut it?! [Turning his head back and forth to Scarlett and Giselle as he speaks each sentence] Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Of course it makes you look fat! I've never been to Brussels. It is pronounced, "egregious." And by the way, no, I never actually met Pizzaro, but I love his pies. And all of this pales into utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is, once again, gone! Savvy?
Captain Jack Sparrow I prefer rum. Rum is good.
Captain Jack Sparrow [after flying from one ship to another and landing perfectly]
And that was without even a single drop of rum.
Captain Jack Sparrow [about Will]
Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpiece to the brig.
Captain Jack Sparrow [to Elizabeth's "This is madness"]
This is politics.
Captain Jack Sparrow [to a rock]
Shoo.
Captain Jack Sparrow [To his hallucinated selves]
Wish us luck, boys. We'll need it.
Captain Jack Sparrow Close your eyes and pretend it's all just a bad dream. That's how I get by.
Captain Jack Sparrow [To one of Jones' crew]
Oi. My pistol.
Captain Jack Sparrow Cruel is a matter of perspective.
Captain Jack Sparrow [to Barbossa]
Whose boons? Your boons? Utterly deceptive twaddlespeak, says I. [Barbossa questions him] Cuttlefish. Let us not dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish.[He mumbles to another pirate] Flipping glorious little sausages. Pen them up together and they will devour each other without a single thought. Human nature, isn't it? Or...fish nature. So, yes [Gesturing to Mistress Ching] we could stay here, well provisioned, well armed, and half of us will be dead within a month. Which sounds pretty grim any way you slice it. Or...we could, [Gesturing to Barbossa] as my learned colleague so naively suggests, we can release Calypso and pray she may be merciful...I rather doubt it. Can we pretend that she nothing more than a woman scorned like which fury hell hath no? We cannot! So, I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of me mouth...Captain Swann. We must fight.
Captain Jack Sparrow The world is still the same...there's just less in it...
Captain Jack Sparrow [To Cutler Becket]
You can have Barbossa. The belligerent homonculus and his friend with the wooden eye, both. And Turner. Especially Turner.
Captain Jack Sparrow [to Gibbs]
Why is the rum always gone??
Scenes with Captain Jack Sparrow
30 scenes Jack Sparrow Mr. Sparrow! What say you about the condition of this tack line, eh?
Hallucinated Jack Sparrow
[Confused]
...It be proper to my eye, sir.
Jack Sparrow Proper? It is neither proper nor suitable, it is neither adequate nor acceptable, and is in obvious fact, an abomination.
Hallucinated Jack Sparrow
Begging your pardon sir... but perhaps if you gave a man a second chance.
Jack Sparrow Shall I? [draws his sword and runs the hallucinated Jack through, whispering in his ear] That's exactly the sort of thinking that got us into this mess.
Jack Sparrow William, tell me something. Have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel? Or rather, damsel in distress? Either one.
No.
Jack Sparrow Well then you wouldn't be here, would you? So you can't be here. Q.E.D., you're not really here!
[Whilst Jack is about to fire a cannon with a rope attached to it held in his hand]
You're mad!
Jack Sparrow Thank goodness for that, because if I wasn't, this would probably never work! [Ignites the cannon and flies into the air, landing on other ship] And that was without a single drop of rum!
There's not been a gathering like this in our lifetime.
Jack Sparrow And I owe them all money. [Barbossa rolls his eyes]
It would've never worked out between us, Jack.
Jack Sparrow Keep tellin' yourself that, love.
Jack Sparrow, you paid me a great insult once.
Jack Sparrow That doesn't sound like me...
Jack Sparrow [Feng punches Jack in the nose]
Shall we call it square, then?
Jack [In Beckett's cabin on the Endeavour. Beckett is offering Jack a deal to have Jack give away information]
Regarding the Brethren Court, no doubt? [Takes the glass of brandy offered by Beckett and steals the other] In exchange for fair compensation...[Drinks down one glass] square my debt with Jones...[Drinks down the other glass] guarantee my freedom?
Of course. It's just good business.
Jack [Holding up Beckett's metal Admiral figurine]
And what would I, if I were in a divulgatory mood, might I divulge?
Everything. Where are the Brethren Court meeting? Who are the Pirate Lords? [Whispering intently into Jack's ear] What is the purpose of the Nine Pieces of Eight?
Jack [After a cut scene on the Pearl] [Waving Beckett's fan]
You can keep Barbossa. The belligerent homoculous and his friend with the wooden eye, both, and Turner. Especially Turner. The rest go with me aboard the Pearl, and I will hand you Shipwreck Cove and you will not hand me to Jones.
And what becomes of Miss Swann?
Jack ...What importance is she to you?
You know, Jack, I just remembered I have this wonderful compass that points to anything I want, so for what do I require you? [Holds up the magic compass]
Jack It points to the thing you want the most, and that is not the Brethren Court, is it?
Then what is, Jack?
Jack Me...dead.
Damn! [He tosses the compass back to Jack. Jack tosses the fan back to Beckett] Although, if I kill you, then I can use the compass to find, Shipwreck Cove, is it? On my own. [Points a pistol at Jack] Cut out the middle man, as it were.
Jack With me dead, you'd arrive at Shipwreck Cove, and find it is a fortress nigh impregnable, able to withstand blockade for years, and then you'd be wishing, "Oh, if only there was someone that I had not killed inside to make sure that the pirates come outside."
And you can do all this?
Jack You may kill me, but you will never insult me. Who am I? [Beckett shrugs like he doesn't know. Jack gives him a look of stupefied confusion] I'm Captain Jack Sparrow! [The Endeavour suddenly shakes from cannon fire hitting it. Beckett reels against his desk. Jack quickly shakes his hand] Done!
Do you fear death?
Jack Sparrow You've no idea.
Lookee here boys! A lost bird! A lost bird that never learned to fly! [Draws his sword]
Jack Sparrow To my great regret... But, never too late to learn, eh? [Jack then hits a rope with the Dead Man's Chest to "fly" up to one of the masts.]
Jack Sparrow This is politics.
Jack Sparrow Hector! Been too long, hasn't it?
Aye. Isla De Muerta, remember? You shot me. [Glares]
Jack Sparrow [Looks confused, but then smiles]
... No, I didn't.
[In between the have not's and so's, the other pirate lords heads turn towards the speaker]
You've only ever run from a fight.
Jack Sparrow I have not!
You have so!
Jack Sparrow Have not!
You have so!
Jack Sparrow Have not!
You have so, and ya' know it!
Jack Sparrow Have not, slander and calumny! I have only ever embraced that oldest and noblest of pirate traditions. I submit here and now, that is what we all must do- we must fight... to run away.
It was the first court what imprisoned Calypso, and we will be the ones to set her free, and in her gratitude she will see fit to grant us boons.
Jack Sparrow Whose boons? Your boons? Utterly deceptive twaddlespeak, says I.
If ye have a better alternative, please... share.
Jack [pause]
...Cuttlefish. [Barbossa gives him a confused look] Eh? Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends, the cuttlefish. Flipping glorious little sausages. Pen 'em up together, and they will devour each other without a second thought. Human nature, isn't it? Or... or, fish nature. So yes, we could stay here well-supplied and well-armed, and half of us would be dead within the month. Which seems rather grim to me, anyway you slice it. Or... ah... as my learned colleague so naively suggests, we can release Calypso, and we can pray that she will be merciful. (I rather doubt it.) Can we in fact pretend that she is anything but a woman scorned like which fury hell hath no? We cannot. Res ipsa loquitur, tabula in naufragio, we are left but with one option- I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of me mouth... Captain Swann. We must fight.
Jack Sparrow What are YOU doin'?
No, what ARe you doin'?
Jack Sparrow What are YOU doin'?
NO! What ARe you doin'?
Jack Sparrow What are YOU doin'? Captain gives orders on the ship.
The captain of the ship IS givin' orders.
Jack Sparrow MY ship, makes ME Captain.
They be my charts!
Jack Sparrow Well, that makes you... Chartman!
Stow it! The both of you! That's an order! Understand?!
[Jack, Barbossa and the other pirates stare at him] [pause, before sheepishly and apologetically cringing]
... Sorry. I just thought, with the Captain issue in doubt, I'd throw my name in for consideration... Sorry.
Yeah?
Look sharp, men. It's not for naught that this be called Shipwreck Island, on which is found Shipwreck Cove and the town of Shipwreck!
Jack Sparrow You know, for all that pirates are clever cobs, we are a very unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things. I once sailed with a geezer; lost both his arms and part of his eye.
What'ya call 'im?
Jack Sparrow ... Larry.
Jack Sparrow And this is what you arrived at? Lead Beckett to Shipwreck Cove, gain his trust to accomplish your own ends? It's like you don't know me at all, mate. And how does your dearly beloved feel about this? [nods when Will looks away] Ah... you've not seen fit to tell her.
[Sighs quietly]
...I'm losing her, Jack. Every step I make to my father, is a step away from Elizabeth.
Jack Sparrow Mate, if you choose to lock your heart away, you lose it for certain. If I may lend a machete to your intellectual thicket, avoid the choice altogether. Change the facts. Let someone else dispatch Jones...
Who? [Looks at Jack, who is smiling] You?
Jack Sparrow Death has a way of reshuffling one's priorities. I slip aboard the Dutchman, find the heart, stab the beating thing, free your father from his debt, and you are free to be with your charming murderess.
... And you're willing to cut your heart out? Bind yourself to the Dutchman forever?
Jack Sparrow No, mate. I'm free forever. Free to sail the seas beyond the edges of the map, free from death itself.
[suddenly cunningly sullen]
But you have to do the job, Jack. You have to ferry souls to the next world... or end up like Jones. [Makes a tentacles gesture. Jack cringes and touches his own beard]
Jack Sparrow I haven't the face for tentacles. But, immortal has to count for something, eh? Oh![Hands Will his magic compass]
What's this for?
Jack Sparrow Think like me. It will come to you [Walks to Will and breathes his rummy breath at Will. Will staggers back and falls off the Pearl. Jack rolls the last body-tied barrel off the ship next to Will as he sails away] My regards to Davy Jones!
Jocard Who is this betrayer?
Not likely anyone among us.
Where's Will?
Jack Sparrow Not among us.
Jack Sparrow [Still trapped in Davy Jones' Locker, Jack is choosing those to come aboard with him]
Who are you?
Tai Huang Tai Huang. These are my men.
Jack Sparrow And where do your allegiances lie?
Tai Huang With the highest bidder.
Jack Sparrow I have a ship.
Tai Huang That makes you the highest bidder.
Jack Sparrow Good man!
Jack Sparrow [Jack is trying to read the charts.]
Up is down. Well that's just maddeningly unhelpful. Why are these things never clear?
Little Jack #1
Clear as mud, Jackie.
Jack Sparrow What, eh?
Little Jack #1
Stab the heart!
Little Jack #2
No, Don't stab the heart!
Jack Sparrow Come again?
Little Jack #2
The Dutchman must have a captain.
Jack Sparrow Well, that's even more than less than unhelpful.
Little Jack #1
Sail the seas for eternity.
Jack Sparrow [Grins]
I love the sea!
Little Jack #2
What about port?
Jack Sparrow I prefer rum. Rum's good.
Little Jack #1
Making port.
Little Jack #2
Where we can get rum and salty wenches... once every ten years.
Little Jack #1
What'd he say?
Jack Sparrow Once every ten years.
Little Jack #1
Ten years is a long time, mate...
Jack Sparrow Even longer given the deficit of rum.
Little Jack #1
But eternity is longer still.
Little Jack #2
And how will you be spending it, dead? Or not?
Little Jack #1
The Immortal Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow Oh, I like that!
Little Jack #2
Come sunset, it won't matter.
Jack Sparrow [Suddenly figuring out the charts]
Not sunset...Sundown! And rise... up! [begins running back and forth between the sides of the ship.]
[Upon coming across the Kraken's corpse]
Still thinking about running, Jack? ... You know, the problem with being the last of anything, is that by and by, there be none left at all.
Jack Sometimes things come back, mate. We're living proof, you and me.
Aye, but that's a gamble of long odds, ain't it? There's never a guarantee of coming back. But passing on, that's dead certain.
Jack ... Summoning the Brethren Court then, is it?
It's our only hope, lad.
Jack That's a sad commentary in and of itself.
The world used to be a bigger place.
Jack Sparrow The world's still the same. There's just... less in it.
Do not blame Turner, he was only the tool of the betrayal. If you wish to see its grand architect, look to your left.
Jack [Barbossa and Elizabeth look to their left and see Jack; Jack looks to his left and sees no one]
My hands are clean in this. [Looks at dirty hands] Figuratively.
Mullroy [Jack has escaped the brig and located the chest, gaurded by Mullroy and Murtogg]
Halt there, or we'll shoot! [He and Murtogg point mini-cannons at Jack, but are visibly shaken by blast from the outer fight]
Jack [Pauses, then smiles]
Good one. Just come to get my effects! [looks around at the two] ... Admirable though it may be, why are you here when you could be elsewhere?
Murtogg Somebody has to stay and guard the chest. [points the cannon back at the chest]
Mullroy [as Jack is taking his effects]
There's no question, there's been a breakdown in military discipline aboard this vessel.
Murtogg I blame the fish-people.
Mullroy [Sarcastically]
Oh, so fish-people, by dint of being fish-people, automatically aren't as disciplined as non-fish people?
Murtogg [as Jack is taking the chest, which neither seem to notice]
Seems contributory, is all I'm suggesting.
Mullroy It is true, if there were no fish-people, there'd be no need to guard the chest.
Murtogg And if there were no chest, we wouldn't need to be here to guard it.
[both realize that the chest is gone, and the apparent danger they're in]
You can do nothing without the key.
Jack I already have the key.
Jack Oh, that key.
Ah. Love. A dreadful bond. And yet, so easily severed. Tell me, William Turner, [Jones stands directly over Will, sword poised to strike (ironically with the very sword Will forged for James Norrington before Davy killed him)] d'ya fear death?
Jack Do you? (holding Jones' Heart poised to stab) Heavy tonic, holding life and death in the palm of one's hands..
You're a CRUEL man, Jack Sparrow!
Jack Cruel is a matter of perspective.
Is it? (stabs Will; Jack's face turns from smugness to shock as he can't decide what to do)
Jack [After winning the climactic battle, Jack and Gibbs stand at the helm]
Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like. [gives Gibbs his hat]
Aye aye, Captain! [throws hat] Hooray!!
Jack [pause]
Now go get it.
Giselle Is that it?
Scarlett It's not very big.
Jack Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent, and fierce, and huge-ish, and... gone. Why is it gone?
Giselle [pointing the horizon, where the Pearl is]
Is that it there? The Black Pearl?
Jack Yes, there it is. Why is it there? :[Pause, looks at both of the girls] It's much bigger up close.
Scarlett Jack, you promised to take me for a ride!
Giselle I was to be given first ride!
Scarlett What? You?
Jack [The women start fighting. Jack pours rum on sleeping Gibbs. Gibbs wakes up.]
Mr. Gibbs, any particular reason about why my ship is gone?
The ship? We're on the ship. [Begins to fall back to sleep, then wakes suddenly] JACK! The ship's gone!
Jack [sarcastically]
Really?
Jack Sparrow [Stopping women fighting]
Ladies! Will you please shut it? Listen to me. :[Back and forth between each girl with each sentence, starting with Giselle] Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Yes, of course it makes you look fat. I've never been to Brussels. It is pronounced "egregious". By the way, no, I've never met Pizzaro, but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is, once again, gone! Savvy!?
[Giselle slaps Jack, walks off] [Scarlett slaps Jack, walks off] [Jack slaps Gibbs] [Gibbs glares at Jack and then he and Jack smile at each other]
Take what you can.
Jack Sparrow Give nothing back.
[Gibbs catches up with Giselle and Scarlett and puts his arms around them]
Tell me ladies, what do you know of sea turtles?
Rudder, hard port! Gather 'way, keep her trim!
Nay, belay that.....Do something else!
Jack Let us not, my dear friends forget...our lines, yes? Yes, let us not forget our lines!
Jack [After Beckett messes up his line and swears]
You can't curse in a Disney film, mate. [Turns to camera] See? I told him that!
Calypso, I come before you as a servant, humble and contrite...[His hat flies off] You blew my hat off, you [Bleep]
Apologies, Your Majesty, but 'tis certain the world we know ends today and I won't be letting the likes of Beckett Cutler--Oh, say, sometimes known as Cutler Beckett!
Jack [Warming up his voice]
FuzzyWuzzywasabear! FuzzyWuzzyhadnohair!
Jack You can have Barbossa. The belligerent homonculus and his sticky wooden friend...Eeeeeh....(Starts waving for the camera to come closer to him) *whispers* Come back...
Jack In exchange for fair compensation...[drinks a cup of brandy] Square my debt with Jones...[Drinks the other glass] [VERY hoarsely] Guarantee my freedom? [coughs] [to crew] What's in that?!
Hector Barbossa
I see my ship. Right there! [pointing to the Black Pearl]
Jack Sparrow Can't spot it. Must be a tiny little thing hiding behind the Pearl!
[Jack has a rope tied to a cannon and looped over a yardarm; prepares to fire the cannon]
You're mad!
Jack Sparrow Well, thank goodness for that, because if I wasn't, this would probably never work.
[Jack lights the fuse. Beckett sees the cannon's aimed in his direction and dodges, just as the cannon fires. The recoil of the cannon causes the rope to be pulled, throwing Jack up into the air and onto the Black Pearl. The crew of the Pearl go to the stern of the ship to look for Jack, but can't find him. Barbossa then looks at the ornate decorations on the stem and sees Jack calmly standing there.
Jack And that was without a single drop of rum.
Look alive and keep a weather eye, men! It's not for naught it's called Shipwreck Island where lies Shipwreck Cove in the town of Shipwreck.
Jack Sparrow You know, for all that pirates are clever clogs, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.
Jack Sparrow I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye.
What did you call him?
Jack Sparrow [pauses]
Larry.
Other characters in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Captain Barbossa
Geoffrey Rush
Davy Jones
Bill Nighy
Will Turner
Orlando Bloom
Elizabeth Swann
Keira Knightley
Lord Cutler Beckett
Tom Hollander
Ragetti
Mackenzie Crook
Captain Sao Feng
Chow Yun-Fat
Joshamee Gibbs
Kevin McNally
Tia Dalma
Naomie Harris
Pintel
Lee Arenberg
Bootstrap Bill Turner
Stellan Skarsgård
Mercer
David Schofield
Captain Teague
Keith Richards
Cotton's Parrot
Christopher S. Capp
James Norrington
Jack Davenport
Governor Swann
Jonathan Pryce
Bloopers
More Johnny Depp characters
Captain Jack Sparrow
Willy Wonka
Captain Jack Sparrow
Ed Wood
Raoul Duke
Rango
Captain Jack Sparrow
Ichabod Crane