Willy Wonka Let's boogie!
Most-quoted character in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005): in 55 of its 110 quotes
Most scenes with: Dr. Wilbur Wonka (25), Charlie Bucket (14), Mike Teavee (12)
It's in the fridge, Daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could-- slide me some skin, Soul Brother. ~ To Mike Teavee when showing the children Hair Toffee
More lines from Willy Wonka
21 quotes Willy Wonka Willy Wonka Let's keep on truckin'!
Willy Wonka Every drop of the river is hot melted chocolate of the finest quality. The waterfall is most important. It mixes the chocolate. Makes it light and frothy. By the way, no other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall, my dear children. And you can take that to the bank.
Willy Wonka My chocolate must be untouched by human hands. ~ To Augustus Gloop before he is sucked up and taken to the fudge room.
Willy Wonka Don't touch that squirrel's nuts! You'll make him crazy! ~ To Veruca Salt before the squirrels throw her down the garbage chute.
Willy Wonka You're really weird. ~ To Mr. Salt outside the nut room.
Willy Wonka Chewing gum is really gross. Chewing gum I hate the most. ~ To Violet Beauregarde.
Willy Wonka Well you're just lucky to be here, aren't you? ~ To Charlie Bucket
Willy Wonka Hold on. ~ To Charlie Bucket on elevator.
Willy Wonka Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. ~ Showing the children the Chocolate Room.
Willy Wonka You, you're Mike Teavee. You're the li'l devil who cracked the system.
Willy Wonka I always thought a 'verruca' was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Haha! ~to Veruca!
Willy Wonka Good morning, starshine! The earth says "hello"!
Willy Wonka Come on. I even brought transpor--[bangs into Great Glass elevator door]...I gotta be more careful where I park this thing.
Willy Wonka You smell like old people, and... soap. I like it. ~ to Grandma Georgina.
Willy Wonka I don't know, but young men are extremely springy. They stretch like mad... Ah! Let's go put him in the taffy puller! ~ Willy Wonka's enthusiastic idea for restoring Mike Teavee back to normal. Mr Teavee: Taffy puller!? Wonka: Hey, that was my idea!
Willy Wonka You know, you really shouldn't mumble, 'cause it's really starting to bum me out! ~ to Mike Teavee
Willy Wonka MUMBLER!! Seriously, I can't understand a word you're saying. ~ to Mike Teavee
Willy Wonka [voice-over through letter]
Dear people of the world… I, Willy Wonka, have decided to allow five children to visit my factory this year. In addition, one of these children shall receive a special prize beyond anything you could ever imagine.
Willy Wonka [over speakers]
Please enter. [The guests enter through the gates] Come forward. [They walk forward to the doors before the gates close] Close the gates. Dear visitors, it is my great pleasure to welcome you to my humble factory.
Willy Wonka Imported, direct from Loompaland.
Scenes with Willy Wonka
33 scenesMake time go faster!
Mr Wonka!! [After the Oompa Loompa's stopped singing, and after she was swollen up like a blueberry]
Augustus, my child, that is not a good thing you do! (Augustus is leaning into the chocolate river and is using his hands to drink from it.)
You smell like peanuts... I love peanuts!
Prince Pondicherry
[about his chocolate palace]
It is perfect in every way.
Willy Wonka Yeah, but it won't last long. You better start eating right now.
Prince Pondicherry
Oh, nonsense! I will not eat my palace. I intend to live in it.
Willy Wonka [After the puppet show opening bursts into flames] [clapping]
Ha ha ha, wasn't that just magnificent? I thought it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but that finale...Wow!
Violet Baeuregarde
Who are you?
He's Willy Wonka!
Really!
Willy Wonka Good morning starshine, the Earth says hello! [takes out flash cards] Greetings. Welcome to my factory. I shake you warmly by the hand. My name is Willy Wonka.
Then shouldn't you be up there? [points to stage]
Willy Wonka Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now, could I, little girl?
Mr. Wonka, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory.
Willy Wonka Were you one of those despicable spies who everyday tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copy-cat candy-making cads?
No, sir.
Willy Wonka Wonderful, welcome back. Lets get a move on, shall we?
Don't you want to know our names?
Willy Wonka Couldn't see how it wouldn't matter.
Willy Wonka [freaks out]
Oh... I don't care.
Well, you should care. Because I'm the girl that's going to win the special prize at the end.
Willy Wonka Well, you do seem confident and confidence is key.
I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir. [does a curtsy]
Willy Wonka I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Haha.
Willy Wonka I can see that. So do I. I never expected to have so much in common. [to Mike] You, you're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who cracked the system. [to Charlie] And you, well you're just lucky to be here, aren't you? [to their parents] And you must be their...p- p...
Parents?
Willy Wonka Yeah! Moms and dads.
Willy Wonka An important room, this. After all, it is a chocolate factory.
Then why's the door so small?
Willy Wonka That's to keep all the great big chocolatly flavor inside.
Willy Wonka People! Those pipes suck up the chocolate and carry it away all over the factory. Thousands of gallons an hour. Yeah. And do you like my meadow? Try the grass. Please have a blade, please do. It's so delectible and so darn good looking.
You can eat the grass?
Willy Wonka Of course you can. Everything in this room is eatible. Even I'm eatible. But that is called 'cannibalism', my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
Willy Wonka [After the Augustus Gloop song]
Bravo! Well done! Well done! Aren't they delightful? Aren't they charming?
I do say, that all seemed rather rehearsed.
Like they knew it was going to happen.
Willy Wonka Oh, poppycock.
Willy Wonka THAT pipe... it just so happens to lead directly to the room where I make the most delicious kind of strawberry flavored chocolate coated fudge.
Then he will be made into strawberry flavored chocolate coated fudge, they'll be selling him by the pound all over the world...
Willy Wonka No. I wouldn't allow it. The taste would be terrible. Could you imagine Augustus flavored chocolate coated Gloop? Eww. No one would buy it.
Mr. Wonka, why would Augustus' name already be in the Oompa-Loompa song unless they...
Willy Wonka [interrupts]
Improvisation is a parlor trick, anyone can do it. [turns to Violet] You, little girl, Say something. Anything.
Chewing gum.
Willy Wonka Chewing gum is really gross / chewing gum I hate the most. See? Exactly the same.
No, it isn't.
Willy Wonka Uh, you really shouldn't mumble because I can't understand a word you're saying.
What's so funny?
Willy Wonka It must be from all those dog-gone cocoa beans. By the way, did you guys know that chocolate releases a property which triggers the release of endorphins? Gives one the feeling of being in love.
Willy Wonka Here, try some of this. It'll do you good. You look starved to death.
Willy Wonka That's because it's mixed by waterfall. The waterfall is most important. It mixes the chocolate. Makes it light and frothy. By the way, no other factory in the world mixes-
Willy Wonka You're all quite short, aren't you?
Well, yeah. We're children.
Willy Wonka Well, that's no excuse. I was never as short as you.
You were once.
Willy Wonka Was not! Know why? Because I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head. Look at your short little arms. You could never reach.
Caramels. They get stuck in your braces, wouldn't they? Lollipops. What we call "caivities on a stick"! And all this... all this... chocolate! You know, just last week, I was reading in a very important medical journal that some children are allergic to chocolate... makes their noses itch.
Little Willy Wonka Maybe I'm not allergic. I could try a piece.
Really? But why take a chance? [burns the candy his son brought home]
We're heading for a tunnel.
Willy Wonka Oh yeah. Full speed ahead.
What do you use Hair Cream for?
Willy Wonka To lock in moisture, haha. [primps his hair]
Willy Wonka [about the three-course-dinner chewing gum]
I've tried it on like twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's just weird!
[after Violet has turned into a blueberry]
But, I can't have a blueberry for a daughter. How is she supposed to compete?
You could put her in a county fair.
[Mrs. Beauregarde looks at Veruca viciously]
What's the special prize and who gets it?
Willy Wonka The best kind of prize is a sur-prize! Haha.
Will Violet always be a blueberry?
Willy Wonka No... maybe... I dont know. But that's what you get for chewing gum all day, it's just disgusting.
If you hate gum so much, why do you make it?
Willy Wonka Once again, you really shouldn't mumble because it's kinda starting to bum me out.
[sees the Nut Sorting Room]
Ah, here's a room I know all about. You see, I myself am in the nut business. [gives Wonka his business card. Wonka flings it away without looking at it] Do you use the Hammermax 4000 to do your sorting?
Willy Wonka No. Haha. You're really weird.
Daddy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels, I want one!
Veruca dear, you have many marvelous pets.
All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!
All right, pet. Daddy will get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can.
But I don't want any old squirrel! I want a trained squirrel!
[wearily]
Very well. Mr. Wonka, how much do you want for one of those squirrels. Name your price.
Willy Wonka [Veruca smiles]
Oh they're not for sale. She can't have one.
Willy Wonka [imitating Mr. Salt]
I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.
If you won't get me a squirrel, I'll get one myself!
Willy Wonka Where all the other bad nuts go. Down the garbage chute.
Where does the chute go!?
Willy Wonka To the incinerator. But don't worry, we only light it on Tuesdays.
Today IS Tuesday.
Willy Wonka Well, there's always a chance they decided not to light it today...
Why is everything here completely pointless?
Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.
It's stupid! [Dr. Wilbur Wonka voice-over] "Candy is a waste of time!"
No son of mine is going to be a chocolatier!
Little Willy Wonka Then I'll run away! To Switzerland, Bavaria! The candy capitals of the world!
Go ahead. But I won't be here when you come back!
You don't understand anything about science. First off, there's a difference between waves and particles. DUH!!! Second, the amount of energy it would take to convert energy into matter would be like nine atomic bombs.
Willy Wonka MUMBLER!!! Seriously. I cannot understand a single word you're saying.
Willy Wonka Oh thank Heaven, he's completly unharmed.
Unharmed!? What are you talking about!?
Just put me back in the other way!
Willy Wonka There is no other way, it's teleVISION not telePHONE, there's quite a difference.
Then what exactly do you propose to do about it?
Willy Wonka I don't know, but young men are extremely springy, they stretch like mad... [gasps] Let's go put him in the taffy puller!
Willy Wonka Hey! That was my idea! Boy, is he gonna be skinny.
Willy Wonka [Getting his shoes shined by Charlie, with a paper in his face]
Pity about that chocolate maker-- Wedle... um... Walter...
Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka That's the one. Says here that his candies aren't selling very well. But I suppose he's just a rotten egg who deserves it.
Yep.
Willy Wonka' Oh, really. Ever met him?
I did once. I thought he was great at first. But then he didn't turn out so nice. He also has a funny haircut.
Willy Wonka [Throws his paper down]
I do not!
Why are you here?
Willy Wonka I don't feel so hot. What makes you feel better when you feel terrible?
My family. What have you got against my family?
Willy Wonka It's not just your family, it's the whole idea of... [balks] You know they're always telling you what to do, what not to do. It's not condusive to a creative atmosphere.
Usually, they're just trying to protect you, because they love you. If you don't believe me, you should ask.
Willy Wonka Ask who? My father? Ha! No way. At least, not by myself...
Do you want me to go with you?
Willy Wonka Hey! Hey what a great idea! Yeah! [jumps up] And you know what? I brought a transporta-- [bangs into the glass elevator] I have to watch where I park this thing.
I haven't seen bicuspids like these since... since... Willy?
Willy Wonka Hi Dad.
All these years... and you haven't flossed.
Willy Wonka Not once.
You smell like peanuts. I love peanuts.
Willy Wonka Thank you. You smell like... old people... and soap... I like it.
Willy Wonka How do you feel about little raspberry kites?
With liquorice instead of string?
Boys, no business at the dinner table.
Sorry, Mum.
Willy Wonka I think you're onto something though, Charlie.
Willy [voice-over through letter]
Dear people of the world… I, Willy Wonka, have decided to allow five children to visit my factory this year. In addition, one of these children shall receive a special prize beyond anything you could ever imagine.
[sees something across the chocolate river while licking a lollipop]
Daddy, look over there! [a little figure in a red suit is revealed next to the waterfall] What is it? It's a little person. Over there, by the waterfall.
There's two of them.
There's more than two.
Where do they come from?
Who are they?
Willy Of course they're real people. They're Oompa-Loompas.
Oompa-Loompas?
Willy Imported, direct from Loompaland.
Willy Stop the boat! I want to show you guys something.
[The boat comes to a stop at the entrance to the Inventing Room]
Willy [confused]
No. (Not really.)
Other characters in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Dr. Wilbur Wonka
Christopher Lee
Charlie Bucket
Freddie Highmore
Mike Teavee
Jordan Fry
Veruca Salt
Julia Winter
Violet Beauregarde
AnnaSophia Robb
Mr. Salt
Grandpa Joe
David Kelly
Mrs. Beauregarde
Missi Pyle
Augustus Gloop
Philip Wiegratz
Grandma Georgina
Liz Smith
Mrs. Gloop
Grandpa George
David Morris
Mr. Teavee
Adam Godley
Oompa-Loompa
Deep Roy
Grandma Josephine
Eileen Essell
Mr. Bucket
Mrs. Bucket
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