Mr. Salt quotes from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

Mr. Salt

I do say that all seemed rather rehearsed. ~ Referring to the Oompa-Loompas songs.

Veruca Salt

Make time go faster!

Veruca Salt

Daddy, I want a flying glass elevator.

Mrs. Beauregarde

Violet, you're turning violet!

Augustus Gloop

I'm eating the Wonka bar, and I taste something that is not chocolate, or coconut, or walnut, or peanut butter, or nougat, or butter brittle, or caramel, or sprinkles. So I look, and I find the Golden Ticket! [while being interviewed]

Mrs. Gloop

Augustus, my child, that is not a good thing you do! (Augustus is leaning into the chocolate river and is using his hands to drink from it.)

Violet Beauregarde

Mr. Wonka. I'm Violet Beauregarde.

Willy Wonka

Oh... I don't care.

Violet Beauregarde

Well, you should care. Because I'm the girl that's going to win the special prize at the end.

Willy Wonka

Well, you do seem confident and confidence is key.

Veruca Salt

I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir. [does a curtsy]

Willy Wonka

I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Haha.

Augustus Gloop

I'm Augustus Gloop. I love your chocolate.

Willy Wonka

I can see that. So do I. I never expected to have so much in common. [to Mike] You, you're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who cracked the system. [to Charlie] And you, well you're just lucky to be here, aren't you? [to their parents] And you must be their...p- p...

Mr. Salt

Parents?

Willy Wonka

Yeah! Moms and dads.

Mr. Teavee

Is it just me, or does Mr. Wonka seem a few quarters short of a buck?

Mr. Salt

I'm sorry, I don't speak American.

Willy Wonka

Bravo! Well done! Well done! Aren't they delightful? Aren't they charming?

Mr. Salt

I do say, that all seemed rather rehearsed.

Mike Teavee

Like they knew it was going to happen.

Willy Wonka

Oh, poppycock.

Mr. Salt

Ah, here's a room I know all about. You see, I myself am in the nut business. [gives Wonka his business card. Wonka flings it away without looking at it] Do you use the Hammermax 4000 to do your sorting?

Willy Wonka

No. Haha. You're really weird.

Veruca Salt

Daddy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels, I want one!

Mr. Salt

Veruca dear, you have many marvelous pets.

Veruca Salt

All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!

Mr. Salt

All right, pet. Daddy will get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can.

Veruca Salt

But I don't want any old squirrel! I want a trained squirrel!

Mr. Salt

Very well. Mr. Wonka, how much do you want for one of those squirrels. Name your price.

Willy Wonka

Oh they're not for sale. She can't have one.

Veruca Salt

Daddy!

Willy Wonka

I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.

Veruca Salt

If you won't get me a squirrel, I'll get one myself!

Mr. Salt

Where are they taking her?

Willy Wonka

Where all the other bad nuts go. Down the garbage chute.

Mr. Salt

Where does the chute go!?

Willy Wonka

To the incinerator. But don't worry, we only light it on Tuesdays.

Mike Teavee

Today IS Tuesday.

Willy Wonka

Well, there's always a chance they decided not to light it today...

Veruca Salt

Daddy! I want a flying glass elevator!

Mr. Salt

Veruca, the only thing you're going to get today is a bath, and that's final!

Veruca Salt

But I WANT it!
[Her father looks angrily back at Veruca]

Veruca

Daddy, look over there! [a little figure in a red suit is revealed next to the waterfall] What is it? It's a little person. Over there, by the waterfall.

Mrs. Beauregarde

There's two of them.

Mr. Teavee

There's more than two.

Mrs. Gloop

Where do they come from?

Charlie

Who are they?

Mike

Are they real people?

Willy

Of course they're real people. They're Oompa-Loompas.

Mr. Salt

Oompa-Loompas?

Willy

Imported, direct from Loompaland.