Steve Stifler Here's an idea: why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and **** use them!
Tied for most-quoted character in American Pie (1999): in 16 of its 46 quotes
Most scenes with: Jim (5), Kevin (4), Chris "Oz" Ostreicher (4)
Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.
More lines from Steve Stifler
5 quotes Steve Stifler Steve Stifler She called me and asked for my number.
Steve Stifler I'll see you guys tonight, i'll look for you in the "No **** Section", right?
Steve Stifler Sherman! What the **** are you doing here?
Steve Stifler Vicky. Jessica. [walking away] Bitches!
Scenes with Steve Stifler
10 scenes Steve Stifler You actually said that? [laughs hysterically]
Shut up!
You did better than me Nova.
Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.
Steve Stifler You guys are pathetic. I'm gonna find myself a little hottie. [shouts] Suck me, beautiful!
[walks off, laughing]
Steve Stifler [After watching Oz in choir practice]
What did you **** do to him?
You came to see me in action?
Yeah man, I thought you sounded really good!
Steve Stifler Yeah man, I think you need your balls reattached!
[On being sensitive]
All you got to do is to ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
Steve Stifler I dunno man, sounds like a lot of work!
Stifler
[at the library, talking to Jim]
**** me! there's gonna be eastern european chick naked in your house, and you're not gonna do anything about that?
What am I gonna do, broadcast it over the Internet?
Stifler
[awed at Jim's suggestion]
Yeah.
[after Stifler drinks the tainted beer]
Hey Stifler, how's the man chowder? ('pale ale' in TV edit)
Steve Stifler **** you!
Steve Stifler Choir chick! What the hell are you doing here?
Heather Well, uh, I was asking Chris to prom. So do you wanna go?
Yeah, that would be great.
Steve Stifler Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo.
Stifler, ****! I mean, why do you gotta be so insensitive all the time?
Steve Stifler What? Whatever.
Nadia so umm "shaved" is the expression.[Nadia takes off her panties, and Jim is agape.]
Holy shit.
Holy shit!
Garage Band Members (Tom Delonge, Mark Hoppus, Travis Barker of w:Blink 182): [together] Holy shit.
Enthusiastic Guy [enthusiastically laughs]
Holy shit!
this is like the coolest thing i've ever seen.
Steve Stifler I know.
Steve Stifler Hey Kev, seen Shit-break lately?
Why? what did you do to him?
Steve Stifler Me? Nothing. I'm the one whose ass he kicked, remember? Here's one thing I know, Shit-break won't have a problem shitting at school anymore. Slipped a little something into his moccachino. [smirks while showing a jar of laxatives]
Stifler
**** me! There’s gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house, and you’re not going to do anything about it?
What am I supposed to do, Stifler? Broadcast her over the internet?
Stifler
Yeah!
You can do that?
No, I can’t do that to her.
Stifler
Jim, get some **** balls. If you can’t bring yourself to photograph a naked chick, how the hell are you ever gonna sleep with one?
I don’t like the kid, but he’s got a point, Jim.
Stifler
See? Even Shit Break knows you should do it.
Stifler
Vicky, Jessica, great to see you. Glad you could make it. Ha ha, bitches. Sherman!
Sherman
Hey!
Stifler
What the **** are you doing here?
