Skiff I love fake-alien poop day.
3rd most-quoted character in Planet 51 (2009): in 16 of its 82 quotes
Most scenes with: Lem (5), Eckle (2)
If you have to do a number one... [places newspapers down on the floor] use these papers. If it's a number two, go outside... and if it's number three... I can't help you.
More lines from Skiff
10 quotes Skiff Skiff [Enters Lem's room]
I saw the alien last night. I am so in. I got this guy wrapped around my little finger. Let me tell you, this alien's not so scary. [Sees Chuck] AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
Skiff [Rover curls up on him]
Awww. It's kind of cute, the way he does that.
Skiff [To Rover, after he ran away]
Don't you ever run off like that! What if they took you to the pound? Where can I find you?
Skiff [Rover gets caught]
Rover? NOOOOOOOO!
Skiff [Rover's taken into the Comic Book Store; sobbing]
Why did he do it? I was going to teach him to beg and everything!
Skiff My little Rovie! [Sobs] I can still hear his wagging little antenna! [Rover wags his antenna and makes a sound] Rover? [Turns around] Rover?! ROVER, ROVER!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!
Skiff [Discovering Base 9]
This is amazing! I was right again! Woo-hoo!!
Skiff [Sees a naked Chuck]
That is a funny place for his antenna.
Skiff Totally ridiculous. Brains for dinner? Come on. Brains are for breakfast with cereal and milk. Dinner's organs and eyeballs.
Scenes with Skiff
5 scenes Skiff [Looking at a movie poster]
There it is. Just two more days.
Wow. Humaniacs III: The Final Battle for Our World.
Skiff and Eckle
Victory or extinction!
If you guys go in costume, I'm pretending we've never met. [walks away]
Skiff Did you just say what I think you just said?
I'm a planetarium professional now. I don't have time for kids movies, anymore.
Skiff [Gasps]
Kids movies? I suppose next you'll say "aliens don't exist."
Duh!
Skiff Ha! Just as I thought. You're not Lem. You're an alien zombie from Humaniacs II.
Skiff, I'm not a zombie.
Skiff [Pulls Eckle away from Lem]
That's what you zombies are programmed to say. Tell us something the REAL Lem would know.
Well, I know Skiff is the only nutcase, who thinks the government is hiding all alien evidence in Base 9. And, you give candy to your puupy so he'll poop jelly beans.
Bleggh!
Skiff It was just an experiment.
Skiff It's your best defense against the aliens favorite form of research: the probe. You put it in your... [points at his butt]
Skiff [Holds out another cork]
Oh, wait This one's yours. [Points at the cork Lem's holding] I already used that one.
[Lem exclaims in disgust]
Skiff [To Chuck]
Your personal chef, reporting for duty, sir. May I give you some tasty suggestions for tonight? I've got a list of the fattest teachers in my school, in case your looking for a light snack.
Skiff, stop! He's not here to eat us or anything. He's harmless, to everyone but me.
Skiff Better let me do the talking. I think he's eyeing you for dessert.
Skiff [Catches Chuck trying to kiss Lem; Chuck drops Lem]
LEM, THE CORK!! REMEMBER THE PLAN!!
[Gets up and goes to the door]
The only plan here is to get Chuck on TV. I'll be right back with the reporter. I'm leaving you in charge. [exits]
Skiff In charge? [He smiles; then walks to the others] You heard him! Things are going to be different around here. [To Chuck] My wish is your command! [Chuck slams the door on him]
Skiff [Skiff and Eckle arrive at the Observatory]
Great hiding spot. I call the closet!
No way! Let's go fight the Army!
Skiff [To Chuck]
How's your species in hiding? Can your skin change to this color?
Your call, Captain Baker. What's it gonna be? Fight or hide?
Neither. [Everybody looks at him]
Skiff I think Lem's saying he wants the closet.
I'll tell you what this is gonna be. We're going to get Chuck back to his ship. Skiff, you were right about Base 9. That's where they have his ship.
But... we don't know where it is.
Yes, we do. Rover found me, he's also programmed to find my ship. Wait, where is Rover?
Skiff [Moaning]
It's too painful to talk about.
Well, then, we're going to go get him.
Skiff [Calms down]
Hold on. The whole Army's looking for you two. You can't just stroll through town.
Wait, wait. That new movie… Doesn't that open tonight?
Skiff Yeah! Why?
[Lem picks up a helmet like part of technology and looks at the group with a grin on his face]
