Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [Steps on a rubber duck]
What the...? Duck? [sees Neera and Lem's parents staring at him, and gulps]
Voiced by Dwayne Johnson 
Planet 51 (2009) · 82 quotes
Planet 51 (2009) · 82 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Planet 51 (2009): in 26 of its 82 quotes
Most scenes with: Lem (12), General Grawl (2)
Why do chicks dig me? Because I'm handsome? Because I'm an astronaut? Yes and yes. But, it's also because of Chuck Baker's three steps to romance: Spot your prey. Make your move. Show no mercy. [suavely] Hey, baby. I saw you across the bar. Are sparks flying or is this place on fire.
More lines from Charles "Chuck" T. Baker
11 quotes Charles "Chuck" T. Baker Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [Taking off his helmet]
I can breathe, I can breathe!
Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [Thinking of a lie to convince Lem to help]
But I suppose you could leave me stranded. My wife will have to support the kids. 11. We have eleven kids, always hungry. Yeah, yeah, but hey, they'll get by without a father. The important thing here is for you to avoid a little trouble.
Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [To Rover]
Hey! A planet full of aliens, and you sent back pictures of rocks?! Bad boy! Bad boy!
Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [A tank pointing at him and Lem]
We better RUN!!
Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [In a room with elderly women holding a tea party; to Lem]
Let the doctor handle this. [Clears throat] Ladies, who wants to meet an astronaut? [Ladies throws cups at him] Ladies, one at a time! I'm on Facebook.
Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [About the universe]
There's billions of galaxies, and in each galaxy there's billions of stars. Next to that, kid, our planets are just... dust in the wind.
Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [To Lem, while after pretending to release him from his control]
Kid, I'm going down, anyway. There's no need for you to come with me. Thanks... for everything.
Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [To Grawl after the chain reaction]
You're not thinking all of this is my fault, right?
Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [The teens come to rescue him]
Guys! This is so Luke Skywalker! [Noticing Neera standing next to Lem] Uh, by the way. You're not brother and sister, right?
Charles "Chuck" T. Baker [Last line]
You're a great planet and you're 50s are fine, but gimme a call when you get to the 60s… 'cause that's gonna be fun!
Scenes with Charles "Chuck" T. Baker
14 scenes Chuck [Taking off his helmet]
I can breathe, I can breathe!
Chuck That's amazing! You speak my language!
Yeah, that's what I just said.
Chuck You just said, "that's what I just said". [Excited] Say something else!
Like what?
Chuck "Like what?". They're gonna freak back at Kennedy. I am Captain Charles T. Baker, astronaut. AS-TRO-NAUT.
Chuck [Clears throat]
TRO-NAUT!
Lem. LEEEMMM.
Chuck Either you name's Lem, or you want to mate with me? Houston, we have a little problem.
What do you want?
Chuck Thanks for asking. Coffee, light, two sugars. Got any Frappuchino up here? Any puff pastry, too. Thanks.
No, I mean... are you here to take over our world and, like, eat our brains?
Chuck Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on! What kind of sick planet is this? First of all, it's supposed to be uninhabited, okay? Not full of sea-monkeys dancing to the oldies. My mission was to plant Old Glory, whack a few golf balls and head back to the Kids' Choice Awards. I'm getting SLIMED! [Lem stares at him] What?
You were just talking alien.
Chuck Hey! I'm not the alien here. You are.
ME? YOU are.
Chuck No, YOU are.
YOU are! You-- You came to MY planet.
Chuck [Chuckling]
An ALIEN planet! HELLOOOOOOO!
Hello.
Chuck Not, "hello", "HELLOOOOOO!"
Hello-- What?
Chuck What?
Huh?
Chuck Huh?
HUH?
Chuck [Annoyed]
Let's start over. Look, there's a command module in orbit, right now. It's running out of fuel, and has to leave in... [checks his timer] 74 hours (which is 3 days), and if I'm not on it, it goes back to Earth without me, capisce? [Lem stares at him; Baker sighs] I have to get to my ship and go back up in space! Can you help me?
You want me to take you to your flying saucer? No! If they catch me helping you, who knows what they'll do to me? I'll lose everything. My life's just getting perfect!
Chuck Kid, I-- You are a kid, right? You're not like an 1,000 year old Yoda, or anything? Never mind. Look, kid, you're my only hope! [Thinking of a lie to convince Lem to help] But I suppose you could leave me stranded. My wife will have to support the kids. 11. We have eleven kids, always hungry. Yeah, yeah, but hey, they'll get by without a father. The important thing here is for you to avoid a little trouble.
Chuck Okay, here's the plan. You knock out that cop, then you overpower those 2, you neutralize that one and handcuff the big guy to the steering wheel.
That's your plan!? What if they start shooting?!
Chuck You're one of their own. They'll probably just aim for your legs.
My legs!?
Chuck Don't your legs grow back?
No!! We're not like your kind, okay?
Chuck Here, I'll tell you what: [Holds out a Twix Bar] Eat this. You'll become invincible.
Oh, good. Then you do it.
Chuck I can't be seen breaking the law; I've got the "right stuff."
The what?
Chuck The "right stuff". It means, I have a lot of courage.
[After watching Prof. Kipple telling what to do when Aliens invade on TV]
Jail? [Chuckling] This is great! Yesterday, my life was perfect. And now, I'm the most wanted super-criminal in the world.
Chuck At least you have a world. I'll probably never see mine again.
Chuck [Eyes Rover]
Rover? Boy, am i glad to see you! Rover!!
Rover?
Chuck He's a probe we sent to take pictures of your world.
Chuck [Chuck just pretended to placed a spell on two soldiers]
Hey, maybe, they can get me on my ship.
I'm leaning towards "probably not." [Rover turns on the TV, showing a reporter] But I think I know who can.
Chuck [Chuck notices Lem in a depressed state]
Hey, kid, what's bugging you?
Neera.
Chuck What is that, an alien hernia?
Well, sort of. She's the girl of my dreams, and now, she hates me.
Chuck Whoa, hate's a strong word. You mean to say, she just... dislikes you.
Plus, there's another guy - Glar!
Chuck Okay, you know your problem? It's not Glar, or Neera. It's Lem. Look at you. You're so "left-brain", or is it "right-brain"? Whatever. You're the chief of control. You gotta loosen up. [checks his timer] We got a little time. You, my friend, are in luck. [cracking his knuckles] The doctor is in.
Chuck [Chuck puts a record on a record player]
Before we begin, I have a technical question. Are you considered very... ugly on this planet?
What?
Chuck Because I can't tell.
No. I mean... I'm... okay.
Chuck Oh, g-- Good, good.
Chuck [While giving advice on love]
Are you sure you're not ugly?
I think so.
Chuck [Lem and Chuck watches an Army convoy taking Chuck's ship to a secret location]
Oh, look. That is great. Perfect. [Checks his timer, which has less than 20 hours left] Oh, JUST GREAT! PERFECT! John Glenn goes around the world, he's a senator for life! I went across the FRICKIN' UNIVERSE! I should be governor! Minimum, but no… I'm marooned here on this STUPID ROCK!! [Bursts into the Planetarium]
[Marches after him; angrily]
Uh, this stupid rock is my home, or it was until you came along and ruined everything! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!! Unless, I don't know, maybe, there's something else you want to ruin!
Chuck [points]
Who's that?
Chuck Come on! You knew about Neera. [Holds out Lem's picture of her] I mean look at her! Lose the antenna, get some plastic surgery, she's a hottie.
I don't have the "right stuff", like you.
Chuck [Short pause]
Kid… I never had the "right stuff". I'm a buttom-pusher; a spam-in-a-can. I don't even fly the ship; it's all automatic. I only got this far on my charm and rugged good looks. You risked everything to help a stranger from another world. You're the one with the "right stuff." [Rubs Lem's head]
No way! Let's go fight the Army!
Your call, Captain Baker. What's it gonna be? Fight or hide?
Neither. [Everybody looks at him]
I think Lem's saying he wants the closet.
I'll tell you what this is gonna be. We're going to get Chuck back to his ship. Skiff, you were right about Base 9. That's where they have his ship.
But... we don't know where it is.
Chuck Yes, we do. Rover found me, he's also programmed to find my ship. Wait, where is Rover?
Well, then, we're going to go get him.
[Calms down]
Hold on. The whole Army's looking for you two. You can't just stroll through town.
Wait, wait. That new movie… Doesn't that open tonight?
Yeah! Why?
[Lem picks up a helmet like part of technology and looks at the group with a grin on his face]
Chuck [Pulls out his cellphone]
Give them their daily minimum dose of "Chuck." [Walks forward to the crowd] HELLO, HUMANIACS!!
[Chuck is unmasked in front of the whole city; Grawl walks toward him]
Look at it, Professor. He's hideous! And that smell.
Chuck Hey! You try wearing the same suit for 3 weeks!
Thought you could take over our world? your kind knows no decency.
Chuck You mean chick magnets?
No, aliens. Tell us your invasion plans! And don't bother taking over my mind. If you do, Captain Kisno has orders to shoot me. If you take over Captain Kisno's mind, Lieutenant Groit has orders to shoot him. If you take over Lieutenant Groit's mind, Sergeant York will shoot Captain Kisno, Lieutenant Groit and myself along with these three soldiers. Each man has a designated target in the squad. Should you succeed in taking over all of our minds, Corporal Hisk has orders to electrocute everyone. If this fails, the entire base is rigged to blow at the touch of a button.
Soldier #1
Uh, General, sir? Am I to shoot Hecknavar or Kolski?
Soldier #2
I shoot Kolski.
No. You shoot Meckavoy.
Soldier #2
Then who shoots Kolski?
Soldier #3
I can shoot myself.
That won't be necessary. Hecknavar, you shoot Kolski, Captain Kisno and and graze Corporal Hisk.
Soldier #4
Yes, sir!
Soldier #3
Ow!
Not yet!
Soldier #1
Drop your weapon!
Soldier #2
You.
Soldier #5
No! you first.
Soldier #6
You're mine, Hecknavar!
Soldier #7
I'm not taking my eyes off Kinso.
Captain Kinso
Drop it, dirtbag!
Hold your fire! HOLD YOUR FIRREEEEE!!! Captain Kisno, get, everyone out of here.
Chuck You're not thinking all this is my fault, right?
All right, if you won't tell us, there's another way to unlock the secrets of your brain. Professor Kipple! He's all yours.
