Chuck Sherman I am The Sherminator. I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time, to change the future for one lucky lady.
Jim
Jason Biggs · 16 quotes
Steve Stifler
Seann William Scott · 16 quotes
Kevin
Thomas Ian Nicholas · 9 quotes
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher
Chris Klein · 7 quotes
Finch
Eddie Kaye Thomas · 7 quotes
Jim's Dad
5 quotes
Vicky
Tara Reid · 4 quotes
Jessica
Natasha Lyonne · 3 quotes
Michelle
Alyson Hannigan · 3 quotes
Stifler's Mom
Jennifer Coolidge · 3 quotes
Kevin Myers
1 quote
Most scenes together: Steve Stifler & Jim (5), Jim & Kevin (5), Steve Stifler & Kevin (4)
American Pie quotes
Page 1 of 4 Chuck Sherman 
Coach Marshall I don't want any of you boys thinking that you're gonna score. You don't score, until you score!
God bless the Internet.
Garage Band Member
Go trig boy, it's your birthday.
Suck me, beautiful.
College Girl What did you just say?
Suck me, beautiful!
College Girl That's pathetic!
Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me.
[On being sensitive]
All you got to do is to ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
I dunno man, sounds like a lot of work!
So, ah, would you object if I said you were quite striking?
Mister Finch, are you trying to seduce me?
Yes ma’am, I am.
You have anything to drink?
I believe the kegs are upstairs.
That is what the cretins drink. I'm talking about alcohol, liquor...the good stuff.
I've got some scotch.
Single malt?
Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.
You've never had an orgasm? Not even manually?
I've never tried it.
You've never double-clicked your mouse?
[talking about masturbation]
It's like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game.
Right.
It's not a game.
No.
What you want is a partner to return the ball. You want a partner, don't you, son?
Oh yeah, Dad. I want a partner.
Good. Good. That's very good.
Nadia Jim!
Well, uh…oh!
Nadia (puts on a shirt to cover herself)
Shame on you!
Yes, shame on me. I’ll just go.
Nadia Well…you have seen me. Now it is my turn to see you…strip.
Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
You want to take this one?
Like warm apple pie.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Apple pie, huh?
Uh huh.
McDonald's or homemade?
If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed.
Sherman? The Sherminator? [both laugh]
Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our sexual destiny.
[imitating dubbed martial-arts dialogue]
Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style kung fu will defeat it!
Guys.
The Shaolin masters of East and West must unite! Fight! And find out who is number one!
Guys! I'm serious!
[after Stifler drinks the tainted beer]
Hey Stifler, how's the man chowder? ('pale ale' in TV edit)
**** you!