Jennifer Coolidge movie quotes

28 quotes from 6 movies

A Cinderella Story (2004) as Fiona

View Quote [to Sam] Sweetheart, now that you're old enough, there's something I've always wanted to tell you and I think you're ready to hear it: you're not very pretty and you're not very bright. I'm so glad we had that talk.

View Quote [to Rhonda, biting her freshly manicured nail] I'm a very appealing person.

View Quote Fiona: Is this the Norwegian Salmon that I asked for?
Sam: Mhm... Only the Best.
Fiona: Mmm. I can tell. You know it costs a fortune to fly that stuff in from Norwegia.

All 7 quotes from Fiona »

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (2003) as Paulette

View Quote Who's ready to discharge?! Or petition a bill...or whatever!

View Quote Oh My God! you look like the Fourth of July! Makes me want a hot dog real bad!

View Quote Or something really classy-like white leather! I'll call the guy who did my car seats!

All 7 quotes from Paulette »

Epic Movie (2007) as White Bitch

View Quote White Bitch: The kids have esca-pe-d.

View Quote White Bitch: I hate those **** kids.

View Quote Edward: I even got a tattoo with your name on it. [takes off his shirt, exposing what appears to be 50 Cent's tattoo]
White Bitch: That looks more like 50 Cent's tattoo, you idiot.
Edward: Shit! They did the wrong one.

All 6 quotes from White Bitch »

Legally Blonde (2001) as Paulette Bonafonté

View Quote [Elle is in tears at the salon after she finds out Warner dumped her for her new rival, Vivian] So, what does this Vivian got that you don't got - three tits?

View Quote Could I have been anymore goddamn spastic?

View Quote [to her ex-husband] I'm takin' the dog, Dumbass!

All 4 quotes from Paulette Bonafonté »

American Pie (1999) as Stifler's Mom

View Quote Finch: You have anything to drink?
Stifler's Mom: I believe the kegs are upstairs.
Finch: That is what the cretins drink. I'm talking about alcohol, liquor...the good stuff.
Stifler's Mom: I've got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.

View Quote Stifler's Mom: [Laughs] Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Finch?
Finch: Yes Ma'am, I am.
[Stifler's Mom gestures in another direction. Finch looks at pool table and back to Stifler's Mom.]
Stifler's Mom: You're dead.

View Quote Finch: So, ah, would you object if I said you were quite striking?
Stifler’s Mom: Mister Finch, are you trying to seduce me?
Finch: Yes ma’am, I am.

American Reunion (2012) as Stifler's Mom

View Quote I once caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass. It wasn't the handle side either.