Alyson Hannigan movie quotes

View Quote Jim: This is good, this is good. [looks down at his erect penis] Obviously.
Michelle: Oh! Uh, Gilligan's Island, Mr. Howell!
Jim: Uh, what?
Michelle: You've gotta control yourself and think of something non-sexual. I haven't even touched you yet and you're turning into the Sears Tower!

View Quote Michelle: Okay, pretend I'm a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?
Jim: I want to feel your boobs.
Michelle: No, you dingbat! You don't just go groping away! You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey!

View Quote Michelle: Jim?! holy potatoes!

View Quote Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you.

View Quote Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.

View Quote Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.

View Quote Michelle: Oh! And this one time... at band camp... I stuck a flute in my pussy!
Jim: [taking a drink then realizes what she said and spits it out] Excuse me?
Michelle: What? You think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cuz I'm getting kind of antsy!

View Quote Michelle: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
Jim: Michelle! Michelle.

View Quote Michelle: Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It will desensitize you. I don’t want you cumming so damn early this time.
Jim: What makes you think that I would **** early?
Michelle: Come on, I saw you on the net. Why do you think I accepted this date? You’re a sure thing.
Jim: Yes I am.

View Quote Everytime I wanna shop online and I start typing Amazon, amazingcollegesluts.com pops up.

View Quote Get off my husband, you little piece of shit!

View Quote Kevin: Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?
Finch: Not us, our generation, we were more mature.
Stifler: Check it out. Vagina shark.
[He goes under water, girls scream]
Finch: I take that back.
Finch: How is your mother, Stifler?
Stifler: You stay away from my mom, Shitbrick!
Michelle: Hey, remember that one time at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each other's hairy wet pussies...
Selena: [interrupts Michelle] Yes, yes. I remember.
Jim Levenstein: Stifler's having a party tonight. Okay, I know that doesn't sound romantic or anything, but remember our first time was at a Stifler party. You made me your bitch.
Michelle: Yes. Yes I did.
Jim's Dad: It is so great to see all you kids back in town. And what a terrific soiree are you throwing here tonight. Just wonderful.
Stifler: You know what? I'm gonna get you **** up.
Jim's Dad: Is it an erectile problem? Because sometimes, you can buy a little time... with a well-placed thumb.
MILF Guy #1: Milf?
MILF Guy #2: Milf...?
MILF Guy #1: Milf!
MILF Guy #2: Milf!
MILF Guy #1, MILF Guy #2: Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf!
Kara: Jim? I can't believe it's you. You don't remember me, do you? Remember Teletubbies Tuesdays?
Jim Levenstein: Kara? No, oh my god, what? You're not a kid anymore.
Kara: It's been a long time since I needed a babysitter.
Jim Levenstein: I can't believe how much you've grown up.
Kara: Thanks. It's actually my 18th birthday tomorrow.
Jim Levenstein: 18, wow.
Kara: You should come to my party.
Jim Levenstein: Oh, thank you, no, I... that might be...
Kara: Please I want you to **** so bad.
Kevin: You destroyed their Jet Skis.
Stifler: They splashed us, so...
Stifler: **** yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
Jim's Dad: [drunk] The name's Noah, mother****er!
AJ: Did you just refer to yourself as the Stifmeister? Coz that's, like, the lamest name ever.
Stifler: I'm gonna **** kill you.
[from trailer]
Stifler: Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually, you were. Not you.
Mia: What's with you jacking my style, bitch?
Kara's Mom: Remember this song?
[puts My First Kiss on and starts dancing to it]
Sherman: [talking about his divorce] At least I got to keep little Furlong.
Stifler: You named your kid after Eddie Furlong?
Sherman: Yes I did. You know why? Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made.
Stifler: Dude, you need to get banged bad.
MILF Guy #2: [after seeing Oz rip his undershirt] Dude, you have an amazing body!
Stifler: [whispering as he drops his shorts and sits on some high school students' cooler] I'm shitting in their cooler.
Jim Levenstein: [gagging] I'm going to throw up.