"Congratulation, Jism!"
Steve Stifler
Seann William Scott · 21 quotes
Steve Stiffler
15 quotes
Paul Finch
Eddie Kaye Thomas · 13 quotes
Jim
Jason Biggs · 7 quotes
Michelle Flaherty
Alyson Hannigan · 6 quotes
Jim's Dad
Eugene Levy · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Paul Finch & Steve Stifler (7), Steve Stiffler & Steve Stifler (5), Steve Stiffler & Paul Finch (3)
American Wedding quotes
Page 1 of 4"Stifler": It's on like Donkey Kong biatch.
Son, step away from the animal...
Cadence So, can I see the ring?
Nope. Promised to keep it safe. It's not leaving my pocket.
Cadence Okay, Frodo.
"A witty saying proves nothing," -Voltaire.
"Suck my dick!" -Ron Jeremy.
Now, Jim, let me handle this. These are my people.
They're gay?
No, you bleeding imbecile. They have style, they're cultured, they're sophisticated.
So, they're gay.
Stifler's Mom...
Stifler's Mom
You've got to know I'm over you, Finchy.
Well, as they say, we'll always have Paris.
Stifler's Mom
And the pool table.
And the car.
Stifler's Mom
And the two-room suite I have upstairs...
Oh, man. Let's go!
Why do you think, uh, Michelle, they call it "making love"?
I don't know. I just call it "boning".
Boning? Well, when-when you're doing other things with Jim, when you're not... um... boning, how does he make you feel?
Horny, like I wanna bone.
But-but, we can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear.
Oh, you've never tried it?
I certainly have. I have. I've boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion.
[following Michelle accepting his proposal]
I am the happiest man in the world. [His pants fall down to reveal a huge hard-on.]
Jim's Dad: Well, we should all be so happy.
Honesty, now- Honestly, would you have passed up sex with Nadia?
Why? Did she say something?
Hypothetically, Dad.
Oh, hypothetically. Well, I mean, you know, Jim, I'm a married man. I'm...
If-If-If you weren't married.
She's a college girl.
If you were a college guy.
In a heartbeat. Oh yeah.
Kevin Myers Guys, here's to the next step!
Would you please shut up with that stepping?! Put your glass down!
Look, maybe we should give him a chance. You know, I think - I think that underneath all the "****s" and "shits" and "blow me's", there's a very sensitive person who's just thirsty for acceptance. That's... that's what I think.
Oh, Jim... you gotta stop masturbating... it's melting your brain.
How did a little perv like you, turn into such a great guy?
How did a little nympho like you, turn into such a great girl?
I'm still a nympho.
Well, I'm still a perv.
Grandmother ****er.
You're a mother****er.
You son of a bitch.
Grandmother****er.
Mother****er.