Michelle Jim?! holy potatoes!
3rd most-quoted character in American Pie 2 (2001): in 8 of its 61 quotes
Most scenes with: Jim Levenstein (5)
Scenes with Michelle
8 scenes Michelle Michelle This one time--um, here.
Jim
Was I any good that night?
Michelle Oh, Jeez, how could I forget? [pregnant pause] You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doin'. But wasn't it fun, even though you were so terrible?
Jim
I-I'm sorry, "terrible?"
Michelle I've had worse.
Jim
Oh.
Michelle Oh, sorry. I just, ah, I could give you some pointers, if you want.
Michelle Okay, pretend I'm a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?
Jim
I want to feel your boobs.
Michelle No, you dingbat! You don't just go groping away! You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey!
Michelle [Jim is kissing Michelle's collar bone]
Good Jim. Ooh, you're making me wet.
Jim
Holy shit, really?
Michelle No, I was just saying that so you could practice.
Jim
'Course.
Jim
This is good, this is good. [looks down at his erect penis] Obviously.
Michelle Oh! Uh, Gilligan's Island, Mr. Howell!
Jim
Uh, what?
Michelle You've gotta control yourself and think of something non-sexual. I haven't even touched you yet and you're turning into the Sears Tower!
Michelle Now don't freak out. I'm gonna do something to push your threshold.
Jim
[loud thumping/sucking noise]
Ow, that's cold. What is that?
Michelle I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun?
Michelle's Friend You are so sweet. He is special.
Michelle He's my bitch.
