Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin You want to take this one?
Like warm apple pie.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Apple pie, huh?
Uh huh.
McDonald's or homemade?
Played by Thomas Ian Nicholas 
American Pie (1999) · 46 quotes
American Pie (1999) · 46 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in American Pie (1999): in 9 of its 46 quotes
Most scenes with: Jim (5), Steve Stifler (4), Chris "Oz" Ostreicher (2)
Scenes with Kevin
9 scenes Kevin Kevin Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our sexual destiny.
[imitating dubbed martial-arts dialogue]
Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style kung fu will defeat it!
Kevin Guys.
The Shaolin masters of East and West must unite! Fight! And find out who is number one!
Kevin Guys! I'm serious!
Kevin What?
I wanna have sex.
Kevin Now?! [loud voice attracts seatmates]
Prom.
Stifler
[at the library, talking to Jim]
**** me! there's gonna be eastern european chick naked in your house, and you're not gonna do anything about that?
What am I gonna do, broadcast it over the Internet?
Stifler
[awed at Jim's suggestion]
Yeah.
Kevin [looks at Stifler and Jim]
you can do that?
Kevin [after Stifler drinks the tainted beer]
Hey Stifler, how's the man chowder? ('pale ale' in TV edit)
**** you!
Kevin [watching Jim and Nadia over the Internet]
Oh he's pullin' out the porn.
He's desperate. Jim, just wait till she leaves.
Hey Kev, seen Shit-break lately?
Kevin Why? what did you do to him?
Me? Nothing. I'm the one whose ass he kicked, remember? Here's one thing I know, Shit-break won't have a problem shitting at school anymore. Slipped a little something into his moccachino. [smirks while showing a jar of laxatives]
Kevin If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed.
Sherman? The Sherminator? [both laugh]
Stifler
**** me! There’s gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house, and you’re not going to do anything about it?
What am I supposed to do, Stifler? Broadcast her over the internet?
Stifler
Yeah!
Kevin You can do that?
No, I can’t do that to her.
Stifler
Jim, get some **** balls. If you can’t bring yourself to photograph a naked chick, how the hell are you ever gonna sleep with one?
I don’t like the kid, but he’s got a point, Jim.
Stifler
See? Even Shit Break knows you should do it.
