Isla Fisher movie quotes

View Quote Denny & George Clerk: Declined.
Rebecca Bloomwood: Can you try again?
Denny & George Clerk: Really declined.

View Quote Rebecca Bloomwood: You know that thing when you see someone cute and he smiles and your heart kind of goes like warm butter sliding down hot toast? Well, that's what it's like when I see a store. Only it's better.

View Quote Rebecca Bloomwood: Men like you are the reason I left Finland.

View Quote [Jack, Bunny, North and Sandy show their respective bags of teeth] Wow! You guys collect teeth and leave gifts as fast as my fairies! [The boys suddenly look shocked] You guys have been leaving gifts, right? [Sandy begins nodding, then thinks, and shakes his head. The boys all share looks of embarrassment]

View Quote [Keeps Baby Tooth from beating up the Tooth mouse] Take it easy there, champ. He's one of us. Part of the European division.

View Quote [Admiring a girl's first lost tooth] Wait! It's her first tooth! Have you ever seen a more adorable lateral incisor in all of your life?! Look how she flossed!

View Quote Beans: Excuse me, Sheriff Rango. I wanna talk to you...
Rango: Hey, Beans! What do you think of the new duds? I got a ten-gallon hat marked down for fifteen!
Beans: Erm, that's nice...
Rango: Have you met Angelique?
Angelique: Hello, Beans.
Beans: Hello, Angelique.
Angelique: Tart.
Beans: Floozie.
Angelique: Trollop.
Kid: Excuse me, Mr. Rango.
Rango: [aims his gun at kid's face] I WILL BLOW THAT UGLY RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE!
Kid: I was just thinking that... [shows his notepad]
Rango: Oh. [chuckles nervously] You want the old John Hancock, do ya? Here, hold this. [hands his gun to the kid]
Beans: Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call.
Kid: [looks into the barrel of Rango's gun] There's a bullet in there!
Mother: Put that down!
Rango: [as he signs the kid's notepad] Oh, I know. I know all about the old shindig this afternoon. I ordered myself some right fancy duds.
Beans: Sheriff, I'd like to file...
Mother: Mr. Rango!
Rango: Oh, you too? No problem. [takes the mother's bible and signs it] Here, let me just...
Beans: I need ya to investigate...
Rango: Y'know, Beans, I betcha clean real nice if ya put a little effort into it.
Beans: What?
Rango: [to the kid] Now, remember, son, stay in school, eat your veggies, burn everything but Shakespeare. [takes his gun]
Beans: Sheriff!
Kid: Who's Shakespeare?
Beans: SHERIFF RANGO! If that is your real name. I am trying to save my daddy's ranch, which is on the verge of an agricultural meltdown, while you're playing pattycake with this here trollop-! [freezes in trance]
Angelique: [places a bowl of fruit on Beans' head] Sad, really. Such a drab little thing.
Rango: Why does she do that?
Fergus: It's a survival reflex.
Doc: Her switch is just broken.
Rango: Well, that's an inconvenience.
Beans: [suddenly comes out of her trance] -It is not a rash! It is a birthmark! [sees the bowl of fruit on her head] I did it again, didn't I?
Rango: Did what?
Beans: Let me ask you somethin', did anybody here mentioned what happened to our last sheriff?
[Rango hears a hammer pounding and sees a spider building a coffin; the spider smiles at Rango, causing him to gulp in fear]

View Quote Rango: [notices Wounded Bird shedding his feathers, then walks over to him] I see you're consulting with the spirits.
Wounded Bird: No, I'm molting. Means I'm ready to mate.
Rango: [nervously] Heh. I'll keep that in mind.
Wounded Bird: [picks up a cactus fruit with his staff] Cactus fruit.
Rango: Ah, yes, the ancient cactus fruit. I heard you people use it as seasoning when preparing your native dishes. [starts to eat the cactus]
Wounded Bird: Also, natural laxative. [Rango spits the cactus fruit out.] Shh, pick up trail! 3 men, heading west. 1 blind, 1 with... [sniffs the air] ...Enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle.
Waffles: What'd he say?
Fergus: They're ridin' sidesaddle!
Buford: What?
Beans: Shh, we're whispering!
Spoons: What'd he say?
Sergeant Turley: Someone's got a bad valve!
Doc: Alright, which one of you fellas needs a checkup?
Wounded Bird: Awkward.
Waffles: Uh, what exactly are we gonna do now?
Rango: Now... we ride. [turns to the 4 owls] That means we're riding now! This moment.

View Quote Buford: Someone or something is messing with our hydration, and that pipe has something to do with it!
Elgin: I thought we was following bank robbers!
Sergeant Turley: We're experiencing a paradigm shift!
Elgin: I'm gonna shift the features on your face if you don't SHUT UP!
Turley: Well, go ahead and try!!
[the gang get into a fight]
Rango: Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling, your affecting my cogitation! [the fight stops, he gets an idea] Whoa! I got it. Snuff out them torches. [they all put out their torches]
[a bright light can be seen from the ceiling]
Elgin: Sure enough.
Spoons: Smart thinkin' there, feller.
Waffles: Start climbin'. [the gang begins to climb]
Fergus: Hey, get your foot outta my face!
Rango: Not bad, huh, Beans?
Beans: You keep thinkin' like that, your hat's gonna catch on fire.
Rango: Well, you know, you get on a roll, you just... [puts his hat on, then notices it's on fire and tries to put it out] AAH! Hot, hot! Burn! Ah, ooh, ow!

View Quote Rod Kimble: I used to be legit. In fact, I was too legit. I was too legit to quit. But now I'm not legit. I'm unlegit. And for that reason, I must quit.
Denise: You don't mean that...
Rod Kimble: Yeah, I do. Stay sweet. [Walks away and gets hit by a car]

View Quote Rod: You look pretty.
Denise: What was that?
Rod: Uh, I said you look shitty. Goodnight!

View Quote Rico: Oh shit!
Denise: Rod! Are you okay?
Rod Kimble: Ooohhh...the safety word didn't help.

View Quote No, it's fine. Bella's young, and cute, and fun, so of course Jenna loves her more than me right now. And I get that.

View Quote But what I really don't get is why Jenna thinks it's so adorable when she spins around in circles. Like I can do that in my sleep. You know what, it's totally fine. It's fine.

View Quote [in Lassie-Style-Animation form] Shit! You look different, too.

View Quote [after ripping the wedding dress] Okay. We- you know what? We're just gonna hide it. We're gonna have to make it look as if somebody just, you know, they broke in and they stole it.

View Quote Gena: You should throw that guy a bone.
Katie: Who, Ted?
Gena: Joe! I bet he's super good in bed.
Katie: What?!
Gena: Yeah.
Katie: Why would you say that?
Gena: Have you ever **** a guy who like never got laid in high school?
Katie: But how would I know that?
Gena: Oh, 'cause they're just really good at it. They're really good at sex, 'cause they had to wait for it for so long. It's like a total Krakow situation.
Katie: Krakow?
Gena: Brian Krakow, from My So-Called Life. Come on. Okay, listen to me. There are two different types of guys in bed. Number one, Brian Krakow. Didn't have sex 'til college, super grateful. Literally makes a home down here, sets up shop, wants to live in it. Number two, Jordan Catalano. Won't go near the area. Terrified of it. Very good looking, but you know, not worth the time.

View Quote Gena: Okay. What we need right now is, like, an epically brilliant plan, you know? That's what we need. So, you ready? One, two, three, go!
Katie: Leave the country!
Regan: I'm gonna call Melissa, the girl we got the dress from.
Gena: Jesus H. Macey, that's a brilliant **** plan!
Regan: How much cash do you have?
Katie: I've got five maxed-out credit cards.
Gena: I have a twenty-dollar- I ripped it. I've got nothing.
Regan: That sums up your lives.

View Quote (The scene cuts to Miss Yelp's desk with her computer)
Miss Yelp: (laughing) Girl, I got 15,000 friends already. (serious) What? What do you mean, it don't look like me? (Shows an old picture of her on WhoSpace, a parody of MySpace) That looks just like me; 10 years ago. (looks at her watch) Wait a minute. Hold on for one second.
(Grabs a purple drink with a liver for a label and pours it on a cup as the Mayor arrives in a air-themed elevator and slams it to stop. He later walks and grabs the cup)
Mayor Ned McDodd: Treats me like an idiot. I am not an idiot... (drinks the whole cup, then rushes to Miss Yelp) Do I look like an idiot?!
Miss Yelp: You don't want me to answer that.
Mayor Ned McDodd: I am not an idiot. (In his office, still angered about recently) Has the nerve to call me a boob? I would never call somebody a boob. He's a boob. (looks at a portrait of the Chairman) Look at you. Yuck! Look at your face. And I bet you don't look so good with a (throws his stapler at the portrait) stapler on your head!
(The stapler miss the portrait as it bounces right back at Ned, stapling him in the forehead, to which he screams in pain at the top of his lungs, loud enough for even Horton to hear)
Horton the Elephant: Whoa! Who-ho-hoa!
(Back in Whoville, Miss Yelp removes the stapler on Ned's forehead)
Mayor Ned McDodd: Ow, ow, ow... yagh! Thank you, Miss Yelp.
Miss Yelp: You're welcome.
(?)
Horton the Elephant: Hello??
(?)
Mayor Ned McDodd: (slurred) Who said that!? Back off! I'll punch you! Wagh!
(He falls over onto his gramophone, grabbing the horn in self defense as he follows the voice outside, coming out of the burst drain pipe from earlier.)
Mayor Ned McDodd: Hello?
(At the Jungle of Nool)
Mayor Ned McDodd: (high pitched and silent, from the speck) Hello?
Horton the Elephant: (excited) Hellooooo?
(Back in Whoville, his speech is unintelligible due to the drain pipe. Ned ponders in confusion about this but seeing the horn in his hands, he puts it in the drain pipe and...)
Horton the Elephant: (through the horn) Who's there?
Mayor Ned McDodd: Um, this is the Mayor.
(In the jungle…)
Horton the Elephant: The Mayor? The Mayor?! (looks to a passing bird in hysterics) I'M TALKING TO THE MAYOR!!! (the bird's nose go down and walks away) I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew there was life on this speck!
(In Whoville…)
Mayor Ned McDodd: "This speck?" (chuckling doubtedly) What speck?
(In the jungle…)
Horton the Elephant: Well, um... (leans on a tree) I don't exactly know how to tell you this, but...
(In Whoville…)
Horton the Elephant: (through the horn) You're living on a speck.
Mayor Ned McDodd: Well, I hate to disagree with you, Oh, voice from the drainpipe, but I live in Whoville.
Horton the Elephant: Well, then, Whoville's a speck.
Mayor Ned McDodd: (from the speck) Right, o- (In Whoville…) -kay, seriously, who is this? Is this Burt from accounting?
Horton the Elephant: Uh, no. This is Horton. I'm an elephant.
Mayor Ned McDodd: Okayyyy... Hor-ton, fake name. Where are you?
Horton the Elephant: Well, from where you standing? I guess I'm... in the sky. Which is saying something, because I've slimmed down quite a bit. I swim. You're whole world fits on a flower in my world.
Mayor Ned McDodd: Oh, man, this is even inclusion for you, Bert.
Horton the Elephant: Don't believe me? Watch what happens when I put you in the shade.
(In Whoville…)
Mayor Ned McDodd: This is absolutely impossible-
Horton the Elephant: (through the horn) Dark.
(The sky turns dark, The Mayor eyes widened as he saw the sky. Then cuts to Horton who uses a tree to cover the speck)
Horton the Elephant: Light.
(The Mayor looks down)
Horton the Elephant: (through the horn) Dark.
(Horton uses his ears to cover the speck)
Horton the Elephant: Light.
(The Who-ville people put on their night shades repeatedly every time it goes from night to day)
Horton the Elephant: (through the horn) Dark, light, dark, light, dark, light, dark, light, dark. Light. (Back at the jungle) Don't you see?
(In Whoville)
Horton the Elephant: (through the horn) We're in the middle of some kind of amazing cosmic convergence. Two vastly different worlds, miraculously crossing paths! Mine, COLOSSAL! Yours, miniscule. Yet somehow, we've managed to make contact.
(In Whoville…)
Horton the Elephant: (through the horn) If you think about it, it's pretty amazing.
(The Mayor looks up at the sky as the camera zooms upwards)
Horton the Elephant: Is everything okay down there?
(In Whoville…)
Mayor Ned McDodd: (speechless) I... I don't know. You tell me. You're the one holding the speck.
Horton the Elephant: I'm the one holding the speck. (gasp, realizing what the Mayor said) I'm the one holding the speck! (through the horn) Don't you worry, Mr. Mayor.
(The Mayor rushes to his desk and plays some music on his telephone, with a beeping sound; to Horton)
Mayor Ned McDodd: Hold, please!
(He rushes to an air-filled elevator, but he got hit and fell down. Miss Yelp, on her computer, grabs an ice pack to him and he puts it on his head and later enters the elevator)
Narrator: What did all of this mean? The Mayor hadn't a clue.
So, he ran to the office of Dr. Larue,
the brainiest brain on the staff at Who U.
(At Larue's office)
Mayor Ned McDodd: Dr. Larue! Oh, this is crazy...!
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: (lisp voice) Oh! Mr. Mayor! How may I be of assistance?
Mayor Ned McDodd: I don't know. Hey! You know, I was just wondering if our world were, say, a tiny speck, mmm, floating through space... how would we know?
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: Well, why would you ask something like that?
Mayor Ned McDodd: Oh, no reason. No reason at all. I don't even remember. Yes, I do. Ah, you know what? Some guy was talking to me. Not an elephant in the sky. A guy on the ground.
(A round glass containing green acid starts to roll over and the Mayor noticed it and quickly grabs it)
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: There would be several ramifications.
Mayor Ned McDodd: Good ramifications?
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: A tiny speck?
(The acid then pours on the desk while Dr. Larue puts a popcorn kernel and starts experimenting with it using a laser-like experiment)
Mayor Ned McDodd: Uh-huh, yeah. Tiny speck.
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: Floating around. (While Larue uses her laptop and types about the "speck", The Mayor looks at the acid and quickly hides it with a book before it sinks itself) Well, we'd have inexplicable tremors, dramatic changes in the weather, (Dr. Larue reads at a very long paper containing results) and if we didn't eventually achieve some sort of stability, our world would be... (She removes her glasses for dramatic effect) destroyed!(A kernel later becomes a popcorn)
Mayor Ned McDodd: Destroyed?! (slurred) Destroyed, Oh destroyed. Oh, trouble! (As the Mayor leaves, Dr. Larue quickly stops the acid bottle with her finger from pouring. At Mayor's office, he hangs up the telephone and rushes to Horton) Horton!
Horton the Elephant: (in a nasally voice) Um, no, uh, this is... uh... Benny. Horton is busy right now. (In the jungle, Horton holds his trunk to change his voice, before going back to his normal voice, chuckling.) No! I'm joking. That's me.
Mayor Ned McDodd: (to himself) Oh, we're doomed.

View Quote (He see a pink-style field that's all nothing but clovers as Horton searches for the one with the speck)
Horton the Elephant: Mayor? Anybody there? Hello? Anyone?
Narrator: But clover by clover by clover he found,
that the one that he sought for was just not around.
Horton the Elephant: Mayor? Hello?
Narrator: And by noon, poor Horton, more dead than alive,
had picked, searched, and piled up 9,005.
Horton the Elephant: (tired) Hello. Sorry to bother you, nobody. Knock knock. This is the way you say, "Who's there?" If there were any Whos there. Get it! "Who's there?!" (babbling)
Narrator: All day he looked, looked on and on,
till his hope was almost gone.
(Just then, a wind blew a pile of pink clovers. Horton noticed this and begins to panic)
Horton the Elephant: No. No. No. Please, No! This isn't fair!
(As Horton looks at the wind-blowing clovers, he saw the actual clover, the one with the speck)
Narrator: But wait! Could this one be the one?
Was all his searching finally done?
(an excited Horton runs through the clover and grabs it and later jumps through a pile of clovers)
Ah, yes! For this was the hour,
Horton have found them on the three-millionth flower!
Horton the Elephant: Mayor? Mayor! I found you! (Silence; Horton's face goes nervous as the speck didn't answer) Mayor? Are you there? Mayor? (Horton lies down in defeat) Mayor! (Cuts to Who-Ville, being destroyed due to Vlad dropping the speck) Mayor, are you there? Mayor? Mayor? (Cuts back to the clover field) Mayor.... MAYYOOR!!!!!! (He falls down and begins to cry, covering his eyes with his ears, until he hears something)
Mayor the Elephant: (nasally voice) Uh, no. This is Floyd. Can I take a message?
(Horton's face goes excited as he hears the Mayor and starts to jump in ecstatic)
Horton the Elephant: Mayor! You're Okay!!
(At Who-Ville, the people and the buildings jumps and shakes due to Horton's ecstatic jump)
Mayor Ned McDodd: Horton! Horton! Stop! Stop it!
(The jumping and shaking stops)
Horton the Elephant: Sorry. (Back at Who-Ville) It must've been rough down there. I can't believe I found you. You really have me worried.
Old Who: Say, the Mayor was right!
(The sisters and baby arrived to hug his father)
McDodd Sisters: Daddy, daddy, daddy.
Mayor Ned McDodd: Okay, I'm alright. And so are you. (Sally arrives and she and Ned both smile at each other before he talks to the Who's and clear his throat) Citizens of Whoville! I'd like you to meet our friend, Horton. (The Who's all cheer for Horton, with him being in touched, then back to Whoville) He's going to help us.
Chairman: I've got this. This is the chairman-
Horton the Elephant: IDIOT!!! You're finished in this town. Is that understood? Finished. You boob!! (The chairman was too appalled to speak, before Horton laughs) I'm just joking.
Chariman: Good one.
Mayor Ned McDodd: Horton, this is my wife Sally.
Sally O'Malley-McDodd: You exist! This means my husband isn't crazy. Hooray!
Mayor Ned McDodd: And... off you my daughters. Haley, Holly, Hooly, Hedy Hilda and Hanna.
McDodd Sisters: Hi!!
Mayor Ned McDodd: And here is Miss. Yelp, my loyal assistant. And here's Dr. Larue...
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: You saved us.
Mayor Ned McDodd: And Bert from accounting. And Mrs. McGilicuddy. (a cat yowl can be heard from the speck) And Mr. Farfoogan from the Cloogan Farfoogans. And the Oldman in the bathtub.
Sally O'Malley-McDodd: Let's not overwhelm the poor fella. He's never gonna remember all these names.
Horton the Elephant: I'll try my best. Sally. Chairman. Haley, Holly, Hooly, Hilda, Hedy & Hanna. Miss Yelp, Dr. Larue, Bert from Accounting, Mrs. McGilicuddy, Mr. Farfoogan of the Clugan Farfoogans. And wasn't there an old guy in a shower?
Mayor Ned McDodd: Mmm, Bathtub.
Horton the Elephant: Oh, yeah.
Mayor Ned McDodd: We're all here, Horton. And we all believe in you.
Horton the Elephant: Wow! That's awesome. And it's a responsibility, I do not take lightly. I promise you a future that it's safe, sound, and stable. We will create a world where every Who is endowed with three inalienable rights to be determined that a later date.

View Quote (At Whoville, with Mayor's bed)
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: Mayor? Mayor? Open up, Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor! It's snowing in the summer!
(We then see Whoville, now covered in snow)
Mayor Ned McDodd: Yes. Yes, it is.
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: It's a dramatic change in the weather. As if we're on a speck floating to space. I don't know how you knew. But, somehow you did. And Whoville is headed for disaster.
Mayor Ned McDodd: Oh, Horton.
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: What?
Mayor Ned McDodd: Ah, nothing. I'm on it.
Dr. Mary Lou Larue: It's up to us to save the people of Whoville.