"'Rod Kimble"': Kevin. Did you reinforce the takeoff ramp?
"'Kevin Powell"': No, we didn't have time.
"'Rod Kimble"': Wooh...[speaking to self] Soul of an Eagle. [Crashes]
"'Rico"': Oh Shit.
"'Kevin Powell"': Rod you okay?
"'Rod Kimble"': [throws up everywhere]
Rod Kimble
Andy Samberg · 38 quotes
Rico
Danny McBride · 14 quotes
Kevin Powell
Jorma Taccone · 9 quotes
Denise
Isla Fisher · 7 quotes
Frank Powell
Ian McShane · 7 quotes
Dave
Bill Hader · 5 quotes
Barry
Chris Parnell · 4 quotes
Most scenes together: Rod Kimble & Kevin Powell (6), Rod Kimble & Denise (6), Rod Kimble & Rico (4)
Hot Rod quotes
Page 1 of 5
Cathy [microphone squeals]
'Voltron?'
That's me.
Cathy Oh, hi Dave.
How you doin Cathy?
Cathy Why'd you call yourself 'Voltron?'
I dunno, maybe cos it's SUPER badass
Cathy ...You're weird.
Hells yeah I am!
Dave: Hey, Rod, thanks for the ride.
[Rod sees a chunk of metal lodged in Dave's eye and they both scream] Dave: Hey, buddy. How's it going?
Rod Kimble: Dave, what happened to your eye?
Dave: This? Is it really noticeable?
Rod Kimble: Yeah!
Dave: Is it really noticeable?
Rod Kimble: Yeah!
Dave: Oh, man, it's totally serendipitous. Well, I got off work early, and you know my buddy Derrick? Well he was like, "I've got this acid, but I
can't do it." And I was all like, "Well, I'll do it." So I did it. And by the time I got on my banana board, man, I was... I was tripping balls pretty hard, man. So I decided to get on my bench grinder, and a piece of metal flew up and hit me right in the eye. It was pretty awesome. And that brings us to now.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, well, just try and relax.
Dave: Can do, man. Can do. I'm gonna be honest with you, Rod. You look like a giant eagle with fire all around you, and you've got a mountain for a face.
Rod Kimble: I'm guessing that's the drugs, Dave.
Dave: Yeah, but it's also just kind of weird seeing you drive this minivan.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, well, it's my mom's.
Dave: Balls, man! We just ran over a small bus. This really small bus, we just ran over it.
Rod Kimble: I didn't see anything.
Dave: Hey, we're here. Seriously, man, this is one of the top-ten nicest things anybody has ever done for me.
Oh, whoa, wait, what... Why is Rod kissing his sister, man?
Uh, Denise isn't his sister.
She's not?
No.
Aw, man. That just shatters my entire universe.
[Filling the pool with the water hose]
Man, I don't really know about having a girl on the team, man.
Alright Rico listen. Um, there's an ancient Italian maxim uh, that roughly translates to, uh "He who is resistant to change is destined to perish". So, why don't you try to open up that mind of yours? You know? It's like, look at Kevin, I mean, he... [Rico sprays him in the face with the hose] Real mature, man.
Yeah, don't you EVER tell me how to live my life again.
Oh, Rod. What were you going to ask me?
Oh, right. I was gonna ask you who you think would win in a fight between... a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco.
Is that what you were really going to ask me?
Yes.
Um, grilled cheese. But only in a fair fight. If it was prison rules, I'd put my money on the taco.
Wow, that's pretty racist, but correct.
Tai Chi teaches that if you focus your body and mind you'll be able to perform at the peak of your abilities.
Yes, Sensei.
You don't have to call me Sensei, Rod.
Got it. Sensei, I have a question: Is there a Tai Chi move that would make a grown man crap his pants and not know why?
I'm not going to lie to you, Rod. That move does exist. But you're not ready for it yet.
As you wish, Sensei.
Furious Boss You're a terrible stuntman.
What?
Furious Boss [louder]
You're a terrible stuntman.
What?
Furious Boss [screaming]
You're a terrible stuntman!
Haha, I'm just kidding. I could hear you. It was just really mean.
Hey, Rod, what's that song about grandma getting run over by a reindeer?
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?
No...
So, cool beans?
Cool beans.
Cool beans.
Cool beans.
Cool beans.
Cool beans.
Cool beans.
Cool beans.
Cool beans.
Cool-Cool-
Beans-Beans.
Cool-
Beans.
Cool-Cool-
Beans-Beans.
Cool-
Beans.
Cool-Cool
Beans-Beans.
Cool-
Beans.
Cooooooooooooool-
Be-Be-Be-Be-Beans.
Cool-Cool
Beans-Beans.
Cool-
Beans.
Coo-Coo-Cool
Beans-Beans.
Cool-
Beans.
C-C-C-Cool
Beans-Beans.
Cool-
Beans.
Cool-Cool
Bea-Be-Be-Be-Be.
COOL BEANS!
So, cool beans?
Yeah, cool beans.
Marie Powell
It's nice to see him smiling again.
Yeah, but you know what won't make him smile? [yelling] WHEN I MURDER HIM! [slams door and shatters window on door] And I'm genuinely sorry about the window!
Richardson
There is no tool in this pool.
I had another weird dream last night; this time it was the one where I am fighting like a thousand wizards and the only way to kill them is to punch them as hard as I can in the face, and after I finally finished the last of them all, their wizard wives came out and just wanted me to have sex with them... which is kinda weird.
I hope you enjoy the show.
I can assure you I won't.
Oh shit!
Rod! Are you okay?
Ooohhh...the safety word didn't help.