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Hot Rod

Hot Rod quotes

32 total quotes



View Quote Rod Kimble: [waves to a taco while he's wandering through white nothingness] Hi. [a grilled cheese sandwich walks up to the taco and starts to fight with it] Ho, ho! Ho yeah! Yes! Yeah! [the taco is beating the grilled cheese sandwich with a folding chair] Finish him! Finish him! Yeah-heh-ha! [grilled cheese sandwich lies motionless with blood oozing out of the back of its head]
Denise: [distantly] Rod? Rod!
Rod Kimble: Denise? [wakes up gasping] Hoobastank!
View Quote Rod Kimble: [whispering] Frank. I know you're sleeping but I just wanted you to know the training is going really great. My reflexes are sharp, I'm crazy agile, and I have a date. So, anyways, that's the update. Sleep tight. [turns around]
Frank Powell: Who're you talking to?
Rod Kimble: Haaah! Haaaaaah!
View Quote Rod Kimble: All great men have mustaches!
Frank Powell: Yeah, but real men actually grow them!
Rod Kimble: You know I have a hormone disorder!
Frank Powell: Ooh!
View Quote Rod Kimble: Denise, you were right; the taco won.
View Quote Rod Kimble: Hey, Denise, have I ever shown you a picture of my dead dad?
Denise: No.
Rod Kimble: Oh, you've gotta see it. He's super dead.
Denise: That's him?
Rod Kimble: Yeah
Denise: [giggles] He looks so nice. He was a stuntman?
Rod Kimble: Oh, yeah. He used to work for Evel Knievel, testing his bikes before big jumps. He would do the jumps first to make sure they were safe and let Evel come in and get all the glory. Then after a while the old man said, "To hell with that. I want the credit I deserve." So one afternoon, he set out to jump ten milk trucks. He nailed the take-off, but when he landed, something terrible happened. His front tire exploded like a cannonball, and his handle bars went straight through his head. Blood was everywhere. His teeth were ground down to a powder, and the front of his face exploded out the back of his skull. He died instantly...the next day.
View Quote Rod Kimble: I thought it would be fun if we all went around and said our name and a little something about ourselves. I'll start. My name is Rod and I like to party. Alright. Dave, you're up.
Dave: Uh, hi, uh, my name is Dave, and, uh, I like to party.
Rod Kimble: Uh, no Dave. I just said that I party so maybe you could do something different from me.
Dave: My name is Dave, and I am the stuntman.
Rod Kimble: You know what, let's move on. Rico, you're up.
Rico: Uh, hello. I'm Rico and I like to party.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, uh, Rico, what'd I just say to Dave?
Rico: Who?
Rod Kimble: Dave.
Kevin Powell: I like to party, and I'm Rod.
Rod Kimble: No, you're Kevin!
Kevin Powell: Right. Kevin. I party.
Rod Kimble: No. No you don't. Okay, nobody parties but me.
Dave: Yes. And we party.
Rod Kimble: No!
Rico: Yeah, just Rod.
Rod Kimble: Yes!
Rico: And me.
Rod Kimble: No! I'm the only one who parties!
Kevin Powell: I'm pretty sure I've partied before.
Rod Kimble: No, Kevin, I know for a fact you don't party. Okay, you do NOT party!
Kevin Powell: You're right. Dave is the party guy.
Dave: Huh-huh, sweet.
Rod Kimble: Oh my god, shut up! Okay, I'm just gonna do it for you. Denise, this is the crew. Dave's the mechanic, Rico makes the ramps, and Kevin is team manager slash videographer. None of them party, right? Got it? Okay. Let's party.
View Quote Rod Kimble: I used to be legit. In fact, I was too legit. I was too legit to quit. But now I'm not legit. I'm unlegit. And for that reason, I must quit.
Denise: You don't mean that...
Rod Kimble: Yeah, I do. Stay sweet. [Walks away and gets hit by a car]
View Quote Rod Kimble: My safe word will be whiskey [enunciates the h].
Kevin Powell: [confused] Sorry, Rod, what was that?
Rod Kimble: [same pronunciation] Whiskey.
Kevin Powell: [still confused] Don't you mean whiskey?
Rod Kimble: Hwhat?
Kevin Powell: You're saying it weird.
Rod Kimble: Saying hwhat hweird?
Kevin Powell: All of it.
Rod Kimble: Hwhere do you get off?
Kevin Powell: I just don't get why you're saying it that way.
Rod Kimble: Hwhy am I saying hwhat hwhat hway?
Kevin Powell: Forget it.
Rod Kimble: I hwill! I hwill forget it!
View Quote Rod Kimble: Now, who's with me? [everyone raises their hand] Good. Now let's celebrate.
View Quote Rod Kimble: Souls of the Animal Kingdom! Eagle, Fox, Bottlenose Dolphin, Octopus, House Cat! Okay, let's jump this jump!
View Quote Rod Kimble: We're gonna jump 15 buses.
Rico: Whoa, come on, Rod. That's nearly as many as Evel Knievel jumped.
Rod Kimble: It's actually one more than Evel Knievel jumped, Rico. I know. I checked. Online.
View Quote Rod Kimble: Whoa, whiskey! Whiskey! Whiiskeeeeeeeeeey! Whiskeeey! Whiskeeeeey! [crashes into a parked RV]
View Quote Rod Kimble: Your video made me look like an idiot.
Kevin Powell: I didn't mean to.
Rod Kimble: What was it Kev? Jealousy? You couldn't take everyone loving my stunts and thinking you're short?
Kevin Powell: I'm not short...
Rod Kimble: YES, YOU ARE.
Kevin Powell: NO, I'M NOT!
View Quote Rod Kimble: [after finding out his dad wasn't a stuntman] So how did he die?
Marie Powell: He choked on some pie.
Rod Kimble: What? Come on! Seriously?
Marie Powell: He wanted to win that contest so badly...
View Quote Rod Kimble:[Opens up the box with the new stuntman uniform] No Way!
Kevin Powell: You're gonna look like a champion Rod.
Rod Kimble: You guys, this thing is NUMBER ONE!!
Kevin Powell: Wait Rod, there's more.
Dave: Ye-ye-yeah uh, we were uh, worried that the moped might not be uh, fast enough to clear the jump so uh, [pulls back curtain to reveal motorcycle]
Rod Kimble: No way. Whoa, Dave, this thing is NUMBER ONE!!
Dave: Now I know she doesn't look like much, but trust me man, shes got some kick, a lot.
Rod Kimble: Alright.
Rico: There's one more thing Rod. I know how you like explosions and showmanship and stuff, so I rigged the whole jump with fireworks.
Rod Kimble: Cool!
Rico: And I got you this rock [presents him with a small rock wrapped in a bow] to represent ALL my hard work.
Rod Kimble: [less enthused] Oh, cool Rico. [grabs rock from Rico's palm] that's number one.
Rico: Yeah, you could pretty much just toss that after the fireworks go off, it's cool.
Rod Kimble: Thanks, thanks all of you.