Robin Williams movie quotes

View Quote Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP, shouldn't we keep the PC on the QT? 'Cause if it leaks to the VC he could end up MIA, and then we'd all be put on KP

View Quote [as Walter Cronkite] I just want to begin by saying to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt, what it is, what it shall be, what it was. The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon roundup.

View Quote [To Srg. Major Dickerson] You know, you're in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.

View Quote "Dogs, sir? Oh, not just now. I do enjoy a good dog once in awhile, sir. You can have yourself a three-course meal from one dog. Start with your canine crudites, go to your Fido flambe for main course and for dessert, a Pekingese parfait. And you can pick your teeth with a paw."

View Quote "O Titus, bring your friend hither." But if any of you have seen Mr. Marlon Brando, you know, Shakespeare can be different. "Frenns, Romans, countruhmen, lend me your eahhs." You can also imagine, maybe, John Wayne as Macbeth going, "Wayull, is this a dagger I see before me?"

View Quote "I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world." W. W. Uncle Walt again. Now, for those of you who don't know, a yawp is a loud cry or yell. Now, Todd, I would like you to give us a demonstration of a barbaric "yawp." Come on. You can't yawp sitting down. Let's go. Come on. Up. You gotta get in "yawping" stance.

View Quote (after coming up with an idea) Okay, let me take some time for myself: bow down, bow down, you da man, you da man. Okay.

View Quote (afraid to jump off a cliff) I can do this, I can do this... I can trick myself! (pointing to the sky on the edge of the cliff) Boy, look at that! What? (falls and shrieks)

View Quote (to the penguins after they banish Mumble) We sing the heart of our true friend, Mumble! You are a nation of teeny-weeny, pibbling, pickolini, piddily-diddily POOF!

View Quote (yelling at a pair of orcas that tried to eat him) ENOUGH! Tis a bad day fo' you! You dealin' with LOVELACE now, and my man Mumble here! BEGONE, demon fish-a! Adios-a. Andiamo-hah. That's right! Boo-hoo; you high-tail it back to yo mamas. Don't make me come in the watah! I'll come after your sons and daughtahs! (fast: "I'm gonna give you the bad eye"; breaks into gibberish.)

View Quote Ladies, please avert your eyes... because I've been known to hypnotize. You've heard the voice. Now you're about to meet the one-and-only Lovelace in the flesh, right here, right on, right now.

View Quote ENOUGH! You bring this stranger before me?! He doubts my powers! He compares me to a skua! The voices are shrieking inside my head - they're sayin' "Lovelace! Who is this fool?! Tell him! Tell him to go f- (slight pause) forth and multiply!"

View Quote [to Ian] If I was going through **** HELL, I'd only want one person in the whole goddamn world by my side.

View Quote Annie, I'm here. I still exist.

View Quote That's when I realized I'm part of the problem. Not because I remind you. But because I couldn't join you. So I left you alone. Don't give up, okay?

View Quote "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close."

View Quote I wanted to become a doctor so I could serve others. And because of that, I've lost everything. But I've also gained everything.

View Quote Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.

View Quote And why does he hang out with those **** gorillas, as you called them, because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a **** bat to your head, okay? It's called loyalty.

View Quote [to his class] See you Monday. We'll be talking about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse.

View Quote Hey..you know you'd be better off shoving that cigarette up your ass, it'd probably be healthier for you.

View Quote I can hip-hop, be-bop, dance till ya drop, and yo yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa.

View Quote Upstairs, my little noseminers! Go! Flee before me! Onward and upward! Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums.

View Quote (As Mrs. Doubtfire.) Broke my bag, the bastard. You know they often say a man with a car like thats trying the compensate for smaller genitals sissy, but not in your case, cause i see that you're a strapping aren't ya.

View Quote Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day, and look at it and say "this is not my life"?

View Quote
Daniel as Pudgey the Parrot: 911! 911! Police! Authorities! ASPCA! ASAP! Murder! Betrayal! Kidnap! No. BIRDNAP!!

View Quote Daniel: What kind of idiot kept this guy on the air of twenty-five years?
Jonathan Lundy: Me.
Daniel: I'm Daniel Hillard, former employee.
Jonathan Lundy: Maybe...

View Quote [after getting egged] I've been shot! I'm bleeding! Salmonella! You're a lawyer! That's salmonella!

View Quote You better grow eyes in the back of your head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubber ass! I'm goin' on safari, mother****er! SAH-FAR-I! [makes a rhino noise]

View Quote [after being assaulted by Tommy and her henchmen] All right, that's it, you bloodsucking freaks! I'm suing your Riverdance act! Have you all shipped back home, eh?!

View Quote Perfect! That'll be 50 bucks.

View Quote YEAH, BABY! LET IT RIP!

View Quote Oh, how can this happen to me?! I'm practically a kid!

View Quote [about Travis] Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten.

View Quote [angrily] We watch TV in four separate rooms and IM each other when dinner is ready.

View Quote We have to hang together and stay strong.

View Quote Adios, Emperor Land! This is 1 fabulous penguin you will never laugh at again. Never! [walks away]

View Quote It's okay, ladies! The love god is back! [ignored]

View Quote [to Sven] But if they love you, who will love Ramon?!

View Quote Some good questions have no good answers.

View Quote [referring to Erik] Mumble, the boy seeks a higher truth.

View Quote Svensei, you must on the wings of hope and summon them to the aid of our Emperor brothers!

View Quote [repeated line] One is glad to be of service.

View Quote [to Portia] Will you perform an experiment just for the sake of science? Kiss me!!!

View Quote [after learning the fate of most sperm cells] They die? One feels badly for them.

View Quote You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!... but you keep it all inside.

View Quote Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle-aged ****. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. **** the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks.

View Quote Don't worry about that. I'm very maternal. And Albert's practically a breast.

View Quote According to The Oxford English Dictionary, the word "snapshot" was originally a hunting term.

View Quote No one takes photographs of something they want to forget.

View Quote Pretend this is all pretend.

View Quote Genie: And your name is...?
Thor: [lispy voice] I'm Thor.
Genie: You're Thor?
Thor: Well, it hurth.
Genie: Once again, this whole broadcast has been brought to you by sand! It's everywhere! Get used to it!

View Quote Genie: Hmmm, maybe you, you could elope! No, you cantelope, [pulls a cantaloupe from nowhere] But oh Honeydew! [slaps fruit into view, it turns into a Cinderella carriage] I dunno if I should put it in Props or Produce! Please, don't squeeze the tires, they're not quite ripe!

View Quote Aladdin: Genie, I need my father's clothes.
Genie: Al, c'mon! Why you gonna try on the King of Thieves get-up? Might I suggest something that doesn't actually say "ARREST ME"?! (In black and white prisoner clothes)

View Quote I'm not very good with people. I like them. I wish I could say I had more than a rudimentary understanding of them. Maybe if they were less unpredictable...

View Quote Awkward turtles make weird babies.

View Quote I'm sorry, if you were right, I would agree with you.

View Quote I'm a knight on a special quest.

View Quote There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.

View Quote Jack, I may be going out on a limb here, but you don't seem like a happy camper.

View Quote We'll take the house. Honey, the chances of another plane hitting this house are astronomical. It's been pre-disastered. We're going to be safe here.

View Quote [after being told he shouldn't go to his Mom's feminist memorial] I will grieve alone for the rest of my life, but right now I want to be around people who loved her.

View Quote [to his infant son in baby carriage] Don't be a baby, Duncan! Say da-da! [Duncan blows raspberry at Garp]

View Quote You and I share a secret. We know how easy it is to kill somebody. That ultimate taboo. It doesn't exist outside our minds. I didn't murder her. I killed her, but it just ended up that way.

View Quote [last words] You forgot the wild card, Will.

View Quote Can't sleep, Will?

View Quote I love you with every cell, with every atom. I love you on a subatomic level.

View Quote If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.

View Quote Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: I was just gonna, you know, grade my lunch, eat a few tests and hope for the best.
Martha George: [about the excitement of getting married] How do you hold in it?
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: [thinking she meant waste] Well, like everybody else, Ruthie. I just cross my legs real tight.
Martha George: [gets a little tickled by that answers] I was talking about your excitement.
Weebo: Maybe you should just go without me.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Why?
Weebo: Because I get car sick.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Oh, come on. You're not gonna blow chips.
Weebo: No!
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: You don't have a stomach.
Weebo: I have a queasy gyro.
Wilson Croft: What happened between us, Phil?
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Well, I just got tired of you stealing my ideas, Wilson.
Wilson Croft: I won't deny that I hate you for your brilliance. I'm petty, corrupt. I probably would have gone mad trying to compete with you in pure thought. But, uh, I'm not an innovator like you, Phil. I'm an adapter. And to that end, I have profited from your ideas.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Why are you here?
Wilson Croft: Well, to be honest, I'm here this weekend to steal your fiancée. And make her my wife.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Well, I think you'll be sadly disappointed.
Weebo: I believe that a woman should love a man for what he is, not for what she wants him to be.
[Smith and Wesson discuss the incident at Brainard's house] Chester Hoenicker: All right. One more time, what happened?
Wesson: He took a golf ball. He rubbed this cream on it and then the golf ball took and...
[Wesson makes a popping sound] Wesson: ...popped Smith in the head.
Smith: Several times.
Chester Hoenicker: Mm-hmm.
Wesson: I got hit with a bowling ball.
Smith: Repeatedly.
Chester Hoenicker: Were you drinking?
Wesson: No.
Smith: Two beers at dinner. Wesson had a white wine.
Wesson: With dinner.
Chester Hoenicker: Right.
Wesson: It's this stuff he's got, sir. It's... I don't know what it is. I don't know where it come from, but...
[Smith and Wesson both sigh and showed Chester Hoenicker their bruises from the balls] Wesson: ...It will give you one heck of a headache.
Chester Hoenicker: Oh... goodness.
[after two of Brainard's balls hit Smash and Wesson while testing the Flubber, the bowling ball knocks the cap off a tank of a compressed gas] Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: [high-pitched voice] This definitely has applications in the field of sports. Ho, ho, ho! Yes!
Rutland: Hey, are you blind? They're doin' something illegal out there.
Refree: Coach, nowhere in the rule book does it say anything about jumpin' too high. Now sit down!
Father: There's not a darn thing to be afraid of, pal. How can anything get in your window? It's closed, okay?
[Flubber crashes through the neighbor's window, bounces around and the boy covers himself in a blanket] [Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard and Sara Reynolds are visiting Hoenicker to discuss Flubber] Chester Hoenicker: You came to repay your loan?
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: No.
Chester Hoenicker: I know you didn't. I was just having a little fun.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: I'm here to sell you the Flubber.
Chester Hoenicker: You been to your house recently?
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Yes.
Chester Hoenicker: Do I really need to buy it?
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Flubber's a very quixotic substance. It's very difficult to handle. Have you tried to do anything with it?
Chester Hoenicker: My man is working on it. It won't be a problem.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Well, I could make it a lot easier for you. If you give us a 30 day extension on the loan, I'll tell you everything I know... and make you a great deal of Flubber.
Chester Hoenicker: I'll give you the 30 days, and after that you give me two years. Whatever you come up with over the next two years is mine.
Sara Reynolds: That's not fair.
Chester Hoenicker: Shop somewhere else, lady.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Sara. Sara. I'll do it.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Weebo--I've solved all our problems!
Weebo: [showing an image of Dumbo on her display screen] I'm all ears.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Flubber is going to the basketball game.
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: [to Sara, before he attempts to fall out the window with the flubber springing him back up] Ta-ta, my love.
[at the end of the movie, Flubber, who was on the flying car with Philip Brainard and Sara, who are now married, lands on a window of an airplane where a little boy looks out] Weebette: [to Sara] Mom. Mom. Flubber's gone. [to Flubber] Get back here!
[Flubber returns to Philip Brainard, Sara, and Weebette] Weebette: When we get to the hotel, I don't care what you say. I'm not sharing a room with him. Look at him. He's gross. He bounces all the time. He squeaks. He phase-shifts. I mean, he's a quasi-plasmoid. If it's hot in Hawaii, I hope he melts.
Weebo: Um, Professor? Why the long face?
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: I think you know why.
Weebo: [Showing a picture of Sara] Maybe a Sara issue?
Professor Philip "Phil" Brainard: Wish I understand human beings. Wish I understand women. Wish I understand emotions and passions. Wish I understand any of that. If I did, I woudn't have had to spend my entire life in a laboratory trying to figure out how the world works. I would've been out in the world trying to figure out why it works. [Weebo records Phillip Brainard on her display screen] I know I love her, Weebo. Every neuron in my limbic system is saturated with phenylethylamine. That triggers euphoria, elation exhilaration. Truth is, Weebo, I'm not absent-minded because I'm selfish, crazy or inconsiderate. I'm absent-minded because I'm in love with Sara.
Weebo: Oh, Professor.
[Medfield has defeated Rutland as a result of the players' "flubberized" shoes] Chester Hoenicker: Brainard had something to do with this.
Wesson: I-It's the same stuff we saw the other night, over at his house.
Chester Hoenicker: (sarcastically) Right.

View Quote Come away O human child/ To the waters and the wild/ With a fairy hand in hand/ For the world's more full of weeping/ Than you can understand.

View Quote Starving minds, welcome to Dr. Know! Where fast food for thought is served up 24 hours a day, in 40, 000 locations nationwide. Ask. Dr. Know - there's nothing I don't.

View Quote A quoting of "The Stolen Child" (1889) by William Butler Yeats

View Quote [his speech at the graduation] I don't have very much time these days, so I'll make it quick. Like my life. You know as we come to the end of this phase of our lives, we find ourselves trying to remember the good times and trying to forget the bad times, and we find ourselves thinking about the future. We start to worry, thinking "What am I gonna do?", "Where am I gonna be in ten years?". But I say to you, "Hey, look at me". Please, don't worry so much, because in the end, none of us have very long on this earth - life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night, and when a shooting star streaks through the blackness turning night into day, make a wish and think of me. Make your life spectacular. I know I did. I made it, mom! I'm a grown up.

View Quote Mr Woodruff: You know why I like to teach children, Jack? So I don't get so wrapped up in being an adult. So I can remember there are other things that are important in life - like riding a bike, playing in a treehouse, splashing in water with your good shoes on. And you my friend were my most special student, and, until recently, you were everything I ever wanted in a student. You were a shooting star amongst ordinary stars. Have you ever seen a shooting star, Jack?
Jack: No...
Mr Woodruff: It's wonderful. It passes quickly, but while it's here it just lights up the whole sky - it's the most beautiful thing you'd ever want to see. So beautiful that the other stars stop and watch. You almost never see one.
Jack: Why?
Mr Woodruff: Because they're very rare - quite rare - but I saw one. I did.
Jack: I just want to be a regular star.
Mr Woodruff: Jack, you'll never be regular. You're spectacular.