Fender Pinwheeler quotes from Robots (2005)

Fender Pinwheeler

YEAH, BABY! LET IT RIP!

Fender Pinwheeler

Oh, how can this happen to me?! I'm practically a kid!

Fender Pinwheeler

The Chop Shop?! [cries] I'm fine, I'm fine.

Fender Pinwheeler

When in Robot City, guests of the Rusties- that's us- stay at Aunt Fanny's boarding house, where our motto is: "Beats rusting outside!"

Fender Pinwheeler

I'm singing in the oil / I'm singing in the oil / After all that work and toil / I'm just slipping in the oil / I know where I've been sent / I'm covered in lubricant... My life has been turned around. From now on, I'm a winner! Wait a minute; you can't do this to me! I'm alive! Help!

Fender

Perfect! That'll be 50 bucks.

Rodney

50 bucks?! For what?

Fender

A beautiful picture of your first moment in Robot City. [takes another picture] There, I've captured your second moment. That's another 50 dollars. [to Diesel] Are you keeping track? [Diesel makes a cash register ring sound] [keeps on taking photos] Come on, work with me, work with me! More pout, less pose! There's a great inside of you is a fashion model just waiting to throw up. Give me those eyes! Big eyes! Big eyes! Give me big anime eyes! Yeah, I'm lovin' it! Lovin' it! Lovin' it!

Rodney

I don't want any pictures!

Fender

You don't?

Rodney

No!

Fender

That's alright. There's no film in the camera. Would you like to buy a map of the stars' homes? [realizes he's gone] Where'd he go?

Psst, buddy, wanna buy a watch?

Don't buy us. We're fakes.

Fender

Oop! I tell ya, the things that fall off of me... It's embarrassing!

Fender

Oh, great. Happy now?

Rodney

Not until you give me back my foot, you mugger! [takes his foot back from Fender]

Fender

I am not a mugger! I happen to be... [his head falls over] Ow! ...a scrounger. I didn't know you were at the end of that foot.

Rodney

Oh, here. Let me help you with that.

Fender

No, no, no. I'll do it myself. I have my pride, you know. [whistles to his body] Over here. [his body comes over to pick his head up] Oh, no. No. No, no, not that close... [his body accidentally kicks his head away from it] Hold on, hold on! [the body kicks it away again] No, no, no!

Crank

Ugh. What's the use? There's nothing left.

Hey, Diesel, I found you a voice box. [Diesel puts the voice box in his mouth and starts imitating a Spanish sports announcer until the chip falls out of him] Uh... here's another one. [Diesel starts barking like a dog]

Crank

That's no good. Give me that! [He attempts to take it out of Diesel, but Diesel just growls at him]

I can never find parts in my size. [Fender's head suddenly flies into the basket; Diesel barks] What is it, boy? [finds Fender's head] Hey, Fender, have you lost weight?

Crank

"Lost weight"?! Look at - will you look at - he's a head in a basket! We're doomed, I knew it. We're doomed.

Fender

Yeah, will you shut up, you neurotic nut? Why, I'd... I'd smack you if I had a hand. [his body conveniently comes bouncing off the walls] Well, speaking of the devil, here I come. [his body lands] OW! Dang it!

Piper

Whoa, check this out! Who would throw away such a cute little doodad? [Wonderbot whimpers] Aw, don't be scared...

Rodney

Hey, that's mine!

Fender

That's him! That's the guy! I would know that face! I know that face, and I know that foot! [he realizes his hand is pointing to his own body instead of Rodney's] Psst! He's over there, you moron. [his hand points to Rodney's body] That's the perpetrator! He knocked my head off! You want another piece of me?!

Piper

Alright, buster! If you think you can mess with my big brother, you're... [is distracted by Rodney's appearance] you're kind of cute.

Crank

Piper, would you behave yourself? Now, come on. Let's get Fender fixed... again.

Piper

Here's your... thingamabob. By the way... the name's Piper. Rhymes with "viper". [hisses flirtatiously] See you around. [she suddenly trips over, but gets up and adjusts herself]

Fender

We've told you a hundred times, [with his hand] don't talk to strange men. Thank you, Manuel.

Piper

I talk to you. Who's stranger than that?

I've got good news, and I've got bad news.

Fender

What's the bad news?

I checked the stock book. As of today, they're no longer making parts for your model. You have been officially outmoded.

Fender

Outmoded? Well, that's fine... WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?!?

Well, when we had your parts... They were on sale! [laughs]

Fender

Oh, how can this happen to me?! I'm practically a kid!

Geez. Look, pull yourself together. All you need is an upgrade. [reveals an upgrade display]

Mmm, that new upgrade smell.

Just came in, fully loaded. Look, it's got cupholders. Standard.

Does it come in plus sizes?

Sure! Take a look at the new Bigweld spring collection! [points to a whole aisle of upgrades; the Rusties stand in awe]

Fender

I can't afford that fancy stuff. All I need is one stinkin' neck joint! [his body bangs his head against the counter] Why... did... this... happen... to... me?! Ow! Ow! Aah! Aah! I'm hurting me! Idiot!

Sorry, pal. It's either an upgrade or the Chop Shop for you.

Fender

The Chop Shop?! [cries; Rodney came in to find what is going on] I'm fine, I'm fine. [his body places his head back on it] Look, no hands. Oops. [the head falls off; the body puts it back on] And ta-da! I'm back. Miss me?

Piper

No one's going to the Chop Shop!

Crank

That's right! What do you think we can get for him? Not that I've been thinking about it.

Piper

Will you stop?! Listen, shiny pants, you get back there and find a part for my brother! We are not junk! We are not scrap! And we will not be treated this way!

I'm sorry. I don't have the parts.

Rodney

Well, do you have two washers, an S-spring and some fast-weld? I can fix you easily.

The Force is strong with this one.

Rodney

When was the last time you got oiled?

Fender

I really can't say that with my kid sister around here.

Piper

Can it, Fender!

Rodney

Now, hold still. This might tickle.

Fender

We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Fender. It used to be Bumper, but I had to change it when we came into the country.

Rodney

Copperbottom. Rodney Copperbottom.

Fender

Riddle me this - why did I meet you among the garbage?

Rodney

Well, today, I tried to get in to see Bigweld.

Piper

Well, if you find him, tell him we really need him to come back. He cared about bots like us.

Crank

Well, what I heard is that they done him in, and they left the rest of us to fall apart.

Fender

When in Robot City, guests of the Rusties, that's us, stay at Aunt Fanny's boarding house, where our motto is: "Beats rusting outside!" [chuckles, as they walk inside] Let me just let her know you're here. [yelling loudly] AUNT FANNY! [normally] We brought someone.

I'm in the kitchen.

Rodney

Are you sure your aunt won't mind?

Fender

Relax, she's not my aunt. She just takes in bots who are, um… broke. [laughs] Bless her little heart.

Rodney

Well then, why is she called Aunt Fanny? [sees Aunt Fanny, who has a really large rear end]

Fender

We couldn't call her Aunt Booty.

Rodney

WHOA!

Oops! Aw! Oh, scrap!

Piper

She's a little artsy-fartsy. The artsy's okay, but when she gets fartsy...

Oh, right on my shoes. I'm so clumsy. [notices Rodney] Well, hello there! What's your name?

Rodney

I'm Rodney Bigbottom. [realizes, corrects himself] No, I'm Rodney Copperbottom! Copperbottom.

That's a wonderful name! Bigbottom. [accidentally backs up her rear end on Rodney, smashing him against the wall] What happened to your friend?

Fender

He's been rear-ended.

There ya are! [giggles]

Fender

Aunt Fanny, he needs a place to stay.

Well, just make yourself at home.

Rodney

Thank you. That's very kind of you.

My pleasure! See a need, fill a need.

Rodney

Hey, just like Bigweld!

Oh, Bigweld. That's a lot of robot! [accidentally smacks Rodney and Fender into a couch]

Fender

Come on. You can bunk with me. We'll ignore the gossip.

Fender

You missed a spot.

Piper

Fender, get out of my room!

Fender

I'm not in your room. [puts his foot in Piper's room] I am now. [pulls it back out] Now, I'm not. [continues putting his foot in and out of Piper's room] I am. Not. Am. Not...

Piper

Get out of my room!

Crank

Oh, man, this is my third oil change today. Something's wrong with me.

Fender

Oops. Sorry. [pulls; shifting to his bedroom] Here we are. Home sweet home. What's mine is yours. [his arms fall off] Oh, boy.

Rodney

Here, I'll get them.

Fender

Oh, look, now they're arm-wrestling. [his arms start wrestling with each other] Would you separate them, please? Hurry! My backside itches.

Rodney

Hey, Fender.

Fender

Hm? [Rodney does armpit noises] YEAH, BABY! LET IT RIP!

Crank

Hey, guys, come on. What, are you three years old? This is how a man does it.

Piper

You guys are SO gross! Besides, THIS is how you do it.

Hey kids, get a load of this!

Rodney

Open the window!

Piper

Aunt Fanny!

Piper

WE were using our arms!

Oh...

Piper

Eeeeewwwww!

Excuse me.

Crank

Ugh, light a match!

Lady... please... see a doctor... [the lamppost passes out]

Sorry, folks! All sold out! Nothing but upgrades from here on in!

But I like myself just the way I am! [her light bulb nose breaks] Oh!

We can't afford upgrades!

This is unfair!

Let's get him! [attempts to throw a trashcan, but it is actually a robot]

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, what are you doing? Don't throw me! [Rodney and the Rusties attempt to stop the mob of outmodes from harming Jack, but the mob then notices Rodney] Hey, isn’t that the guy who fixed Fender’s neck?

Yeah, that guy fixes bots!

Yeah, that kid can help you!

Fender

Brace yourself, you’re about to get very popular.

Tim

Uh, can I help you?

Fender

I think you maybe-a can. [gestures to Rodney] This is-a Count Roderic Von Brokenzipper! Formerly Count Velcro.

Tim

Uh, the...

Fender

Where are the trumpets?!

Tim

The, the, uh...

Fender

We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival! [to Rodney] I'm sorry, Your Grace: Beat me until you're happy. [Rodney slaps Fender across the face] He's happy. And I'm not feeling too bad myself.

Tim

Ahem. Let me see, uh... You're not on the list.

Fender

We're what?! Once again. [Rodney slaps Fender again] Ow! Thank you. [to Tim] Fine! We will go! You will explain to your superiors why we were not able to attend your little luau, your barn dance, whatever it is! But we're leaving! In a huff! [he and Rodney prepare to leave]

Tim

No, no! No, no. Please, go right in. In fact, would the Count like to hit me?

Fender

The Count hit you? The arrogance of some people. I will hit you on his behalf. [smacks Tim off his booth]

Tim

Thank you, Your Grace.

Ratchet

We now come to the point of the evening where I have the tremendous honor of introducing our beloved founder, Mr. Bigweld... who unfortunately is unable to attend.

Rodney

What?!

Ratchet

He sends his apologies, his love... in a small box of assorted cookies.

Rodney

Not coming?!

Ratchet

And what are you doing here?

Rodney

What have you done with Bigweld?! [the crowd gasps] How come we don't see him anymore, huh?!

Ratchet

Okay. [over his radio] Security, we have a party crasher.

Rodney

Yeah, that's right! [angrily begins to take off his disguise] And I had to put all this junk on in order to get in here, so that I could tell Bigweld that you are outmoding millions of bots! And I know, 'cause I spent all day fixin' em! [furiously slams his metal jacket on the floor, revealing himself]

Ratchet

You

Rodney

Caw-caw! Caw-caw!

Fender

My darling, that is the cry of the deep doo-doo bird! I must fly! [dashes away]

Ratchet

Take him for a drive and bring me back his exact weight in paper clips!

No!

Ratchet

"No?!"

I'll escort him out. [whispers] You don't want to look bad in front of your people, do you?

Ratchet

Hmm, good point.

And when I get back, I'll show my casual, fun-loving side.

Ratchet

Oh, you...

Fender

I'm singing in the oil / I'm singing in the oil / After all that work and toil / I'm just slipping in the oil / I know where I've been sent / I'm covered in lubricant... My life has been turned around. From now on, I'm a winner! [Gets captured by the Sweeper] Wait a minute; you can't do this to me! I'm alive! [singing voice] Help!

Who are these losers?

Fender

We, sir...

I'm a woman.

Crank

Ouch. [Diesel's eye glasses shatter]

Fender

We've come to rescue our friend, you evil bucket of bolts, and you shall be defeated by the very outmodes that you scorn and detest!

Crank

'Cause there's seven of us and only one of...

Fender

Let's see, there's seven of us and... eight? Nine?

Crank

Did you count that one?

Fender

I think so. Will you all quit moving around?! It's so frustrating! I think I counted one of you twice!

While you're at it, count these!

As soon as we're done with you, these hit the streets!

Ratchet

This will be the last day any outmode will ever see!

Crank

Well, there goes our happy ending.

Fender

No, it’s a fusion of jazz and funk. It’s called junk.