Rodney Copperbottom quotes from Robots (2005)

Rodney Copperbottom

You're Tim from the TV show!

Rodney Copperbottom

I met Mr. Bigweld, but he's not like himself.

COPPERBOTTOM!

Herb

Mr. Gunk.

What is that?

Herb

Oh, that. My son made it.

What's it doing?

Rodney

Mr. Gunk, please! You're making it nervous!

It's wrecking my kitchen! [smashes glass to grab an axe] I'll stop it.

Rodney

No! [jumps out and grabs Mr. Gunk by the foot, tripping him into an oil vat]

Your son, huh?

Rodney

It wasn't his fault! He had nothing to do with-!

Herb

Yes, sir, he's a brilliant boy. An inventor.

You, clean up this mess! [to Rodney] And you, GET OUT! Inventor. You're the hand-me-down son of a dishwasher, and that's all you'll ever be! [to his employees] Somebody scrape this crud off of me. And serve it to the customers.

Round trip, or one way.

Rodney

One way.

There you are! I told you I'd find him! It's a mother's instinct.

Herb

What instinct? He left us a note: "I'm leaving; I'll be at the train station."

Never mind. Pick up that suitcase. You're coming home.

Rodney

No, Mom, I have to do this. I'm going to Robot City tonight. I'm gonna get a job, and I'm gonna help Dad pay back Mr. Gunk.

Talk to him.

Herb

Ro-

Robot City?! But you're just a kid!

Rodney

I'm never gonna be someone here. I wanna be an inventor. I wanna meet Bigweld. I wanna be somebody.

You are somebody. [picks up Rodney's suitcase] Somebody who's not getting on that train.

Rodney

Yes, I am.

Talk to him.

Herb

One ticket to Robot City.

Where are you going?

Herb

Not me. Him.

But...

Herb

Rodney, did you know that when I was your age, I wanted to be a musician? I played pretty well too... but my dad was worried I wouldn't be able to make a living. So, I got refitted to be a dishwasher. Now, I'm not complaining. But I've always said to myself... if I could do it over again, I would follow my dream. You've got greatness in you, Rodney. Never doubt it. [hands Rodney a ticket] You go to Robot City. You go meet Bigweld, and you show him your big ideas. And Rodney... never, never give up.

Fender

Perfect! That'll be 50 bucks.

Rodney

50 bucks?! For what?

Fender

A beautiful picture of your first moment in Robot City. [takes another picture] There, I've captured your second moment. That's another 50 dollars. [to Diesel] Are you keeping track? [Diesel makes a cash register ring sound] [keeps on taking photos] Come on, work with me, work with me! More pout, less pose! There's a great inside of you is a fashion model just waiting to throw up. Give me those eyes! Big eyes! Big eyes! Give me big anime eyes! Yeah, I'm lovin' it! Lovin' it! Lovin' it!

Rodney

I don't want any pictures!

Fender

You don't?

Rodney

No!

Fender

That's alright. There's no film in the camera. Would you like to buy a map of the stars' homes? [realizes he's gone] Where'd he go?

Psst, buddy, wanna buy a watch?

Don't buy us. We're fakes.

Tim

Yoo-hoo! Excuse me! Can I help you?

Rodney

Sorry, I... hey! You're Tim from the TV show!

Tim

That's me!

Rodney

Well, hey, Tim. Who closed the gate? It's never supposed to be-

Tim

Yeah, okay. What do you want?

Rodney

Hm? Oh. I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld. I'm an inventor. [he quickly shows Wonderbot to Tim]

Tim

Well, why didn't you say so? Stand back.

Rodney

Thanks. [he starts to go in, but the door suddenly closes] WHAT?!

Tim

I gotcha! Y'see, because you were all excited, and then BOOM! [laughs again; Rodney glares] Alright, I had my laugh. Go on in.

Rodney

Whoa... hey!

Tim

Now, that's funny! A second time! What?! You really think I'm gonna let you in! [laughs] Well, I'm not! Sorry, kid. Nobody gets in. Company rules.

Rodney

Company ru...? Well, then how do they hire new inventors?

Tim

They don't. Those days are over. My advice... hmm, come back two years ago, then the job is yours. [laughs hysterically]

Rodney

I'll get to the bottom of this.

Fender

Oh, great. Happy now?

Rodney

Not until you give me back my foot, you mugger! [takes his foot back from Fender]

Fender

I am not a mugger! I happen to be... [his head falls over] Ow! ...a scrounger. I didn't know you were at the end of that foot.

Rodney

Oh, here. Let me help you with that.

Fender

No, no, no. I'll do it myself. I have my pride, you know. [whistles to his body] Over here. [his body comes over to pick his head up] Oh, no. No. No, no, not that close... [his body accidentally kicks his head away from it] Hold on, hold on! [the body kicks it away again] No, no, no!

Crank

Ugh. What's the use? There's nothing left.

Hey, Diesel, I found you a voice box. [Diesel puts the voice box in his mouth and starts imitating a Spanish sports announcer until the chip falls out of him] Uh... here's another one. [Diesel starts barking like a dog]

Crank

That's no good. Give me that! [He attempts to take it out of Diesel, but Diesel just growls at him]

I can never find parts in my size. [Fender's head suddenly flies into the basket; Diesel barks] What is it, boy? [finds Fender's head] Hey, Fender, have you lost weight?

Crank

"Lost weight"?! Look at - will you look at - he's a head in a basket! We're doomed, I knew it. We're doomed.

Fender

Yeah, will you shut up, you neurotic nut? Why, I'd... I'd smack you if I had a hand. [his body conveniently comes bouncing off the walls] Well, speaking of the devil, here I come. [his body lands] OW! Dang it!

Piper

Whoa, check this out! Who would throw away such a cute little doodad? [Wonderbot whimpers] Aw, don't be scared...

Rodney

Hey, that's mine!

Fender

That's him! That's the guy! I would know that face! I know that face, and I know that foot! [he realizes his hand is pointing to his own body instead of Rodney's] Psst! He's over there, you moron. [his hand points to Rodney's body] That's the perpetrator! He knocked my head off! You want another piece of me?!

Piper

Alright, buster! If you think you can mess with my big brother, you're... [is distracted by Rodney's appearance] you're kind of cute.

Crank

Piper, would you behave yourself? Now, come on. Let's get Fender fixed... again.

Piper

Here's your... thingamabob. By the way... the name's Piper. Rhymes with "viper". [hisses flirtatiously] See you around. [she suddenly trips over, but gets up and adjusts herself]

Fender

We've told you a hundred times, [with his hand] don't talk to strange men. Thank you, Manuel.

Piper

I talk to you. Who's stranger than that?

I've got good news, and I've got bad news.

Fender

What's the bad news?

I checked the stock book. As of today, they're no longer making parts for your model. You have been officially outmoded.

Fender

Outmoded? Well, that's fine... WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?!?

Well, when we had your parts... They were on sale! [laughs]

Fender

Oh, how can this happen to me?! I'm practically a kid!

Geez. Look, pull yourself together. All you need is an upgrade. [reveals an upgrade display]

Mmm, that new upgrade smell.

Just came in, fully loaded. Look, it's got cupholders. Standard.

Does it come in plus sizes?

Sure! Take a look at the new Bigweld spring collection! [points to a whole aisle of upgrades; the Rusties stand in awe]

Fender

I can't afford that fancy stuff. All I need is one stinkin' neck joint! [his body bangs his head against the counter] Why... did... this... happen... to... me?! Ow! Ow! Aah! Aah! I'm hurting me! Idiot!

Sorry, pal. It's either an upgrade or the Chop Shop for you.

Fender

The Chop Shop?! [cries; Rodney came in to find what is going on] I'm fine, I'm fine. [his body places his head back on it] Look, no hands. Oops. [the head falls off; the body puts it back on] And ta-da! I'm back. Miss me?

Piper

No one's going to the Chop Shop!

Crank

That's right! What do you think we can get for him? Not that I've been thinking about it.

Piper

Will you stop?! Listen, shiny pants, you get back there and find a part for my brother! We are not junk! We are not scrap! And we will not be treated this way!

I'm sorry. I don't have the parts.

Rodney

Well, do you have two washers, an S-spring and some fast-weld? I can fix you easily.

The Force is strong with this one.

Rodney

When was the last time you got oiled?

Fender

I really can't say that with my kid sister around here.

Piper

Can it, Fender!

Rodney

Now, hold still. This might tickle.

Fender

We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Fender. It used to be Bumper, but I had to change it when we came into the country.

Rodney

Copperbottom. Rodney Copperbottom.

Fender

Riddle me this - why did I meet you among the garbage?

Rodney

Well, today, I tried to get in to see Bigweld.

Piper

Well, if you find him, tell him we really need him to come back. He cared about bots like us.

Crank

Well, what I heard is that they done him in, and they left the rest of us to fall apart.

Fender

When in Robot City, guests of the Rusties, that's us, stay at Aunt Fanny's boarding house, where our motto is: "Beats rusting outside!" [chuckles, as they walk inside] Let me just let her know you're here. [yelling loudly] AUNT FANNY! [normally] We brought someone.

I'm in the kitchen.

Rodney

Are you sure your aunt won't mind?

Fender

Relax, she's not my aunt. She just takes in bots who are, um… broke. [laughs] Bless her little heart.

Rodney

Well then, why is she called Aunt Fanny? [sees Aunt Fanny, who has a really large rear end]

Fender

We couldn't call her Aunt Booty.

Rodney

WHOA!

Oops! Aw! Oh, scrap!

Piper

She's a little artsy-fartsy. The artsy's okay, but when she gets fartsy...

Oh, right on my shoes. I'm so clumsy. [notices Rodney] Well, hello there! What's your name?

Rodney

I'm Rodney Bigbottom. [realizes, corrects himself] No, I'm Rodney Copperbottom! Copperbottom.

That's a wonderful name! Bigbottom. [accidentally backs up her rear end on Rodney, smashing him against the wall] What happened to your friend?

Fender

He's been rear-ended.

There ya are! [giggles]

Fender

Aunt Fanny, he needs a place to stay.

Well, just make yourself at home.

Rodney

Thank you. That's very kind of you.

My pleasure! See a need, fill a need.

Rodney

Hey, just like Bigweld!

Oh, Bigweld. That's a lot of robot! [accidentally smacks Rodney and Fender into a couch]

Fender

Come on. You can bunk with me. We'll ignore the gossip.

Fender

You missed a spot.

Piper

Fender, get out of my room!

Fender

I'm not in your room. [puts his foot in Piper's room] I am now. [pulls it back out] Now, I'm not. [continues putting his foot in and out of Piper's room] I am. Not. Am. Not...

Piper

Get out of my room!

Crank

Oh, man, this is my third oil change today. Something's wrong with me.

Fender

Oops. Sorry. [pulls; shifting to his bedroom] Here we are. Home sweet home. What's mine is yours. [his arms fall off] Oh, boy.

Rodney

Here, I'll get them.

Fender

Oh, look, now they're arm-wrestling. [his arms start wrestling with each other] Would you separate them, please? Hurry! My backside itches.

Rodney

Hey, Fender.

Fender

Hm? [Rodney does armpit noises] YEAH, BABY! LET IT RIP!

Crank

Hey, guys, come on. What, are you three years old? This is how a man does it.

Piper

You guys are SO gross! Besides, THIS is how you do it.

Hey kids, get a load of this!

Rodney

Open the window!

Piper

Aunt Fanny!

Piper

WE were using our arms!

Oh...

Piper

Eeeeewwwww!

Excuse me.

Crank

Ugh, light a match!

Lady... please... see a doctor... [the lamppost passes out]

Rodney

Who wants to get fixed?

Thanks, Rodney. You're number one!

Ratchet

We now come to the point of the evening where I have the tremendous honor of introducing our beloved founder, Mr. Bigweld... who unfortunately is unable to attend.

Rodney

What?!

Ratchet

He sends his apologies, his love... in a small box of assorted cookies.

Rodney

Not coming?!

Ratchet

And what are you doing here?

Rodney

What have you done with Bigweld?! [the crowd gasps] How come we don't see him anymore, huh?!

Ratchet

Okay. [over his radio] Security, we have a party crasher.

Rodney

Yeah, that's right! [angrily begins to take off his disguise] And I had to put all this junk on in order to get in here, so that I could tell Bigweld that you are outmoding millions of bots! And I know, 'cause I spent all day fixin' em! [furiously slams his metal jacket on the floor, revealing himself]

Ratchet

You

Rodney

Caw-caw! Caw-caw!

Fender

My darling, that is the cry of the deep doo-doo bird! I must fly! [dashes away]

Ratchet

Take him for a drive and bring me back his exact weight in paper clips!

No!

Ratchet

"No?!"

I'll escort him out. [whispers] You don't want to look bad in front of your people, do you?

Ratchet

Hmm, good point.

And when I get back, I'll show my casual, fun-loving side.

Ratchet

Oh, you...

Okay, we tried. Let's get outta here.

Rodney

No, no, no, something's up. Look at all these newspapers and this mail.

Oh, come on. They probably stopped delivering these years ago.

Paper! [Cappy gets hit with a paper. Wonderbot laughs it off, then gets hit as well] Late edition.

Rodney

You said something?

Nice one of you.

Rodney

This is much more elaborate than the ones on his show.

Bigweld

Son, let me give you a good piece of advice.

Rodney

Yes?

Bigweld

Give up.

Rodney

What? You're telling me to quit?

Bigweld

I said "give up", but "quit" works just as good.

Rodney

Is that what you did? Is that why you're sitting here, letting Ratchet turn robots like my father into outmodes?

Bigweld

Kid, sometimes you just gotta know when you're licked.

Rodney

But you're Bigweld. You can fix anything!

Bigweld

Hmm. I used to think so. To me, having the company was all about making life better. With Ratchet, it was making money that came first. I became old-fashioned. An outmode. Go home, kid! If he beat me, he's gonna beat you!

Rodney

But...

Bigweld

The world you're looking for no longer exists! You missed it! Find some other foolish dream! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm very, very... very, uh, busy.

Rodney

Yeah, I can see that. [to Cappy] All I ever wanted was to grow up to be like him.

Rodney

I met Mr. Bigweld, but he's not like himself.

Rodney

Mr. Bigweld, are you okay?

Bigweld

I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball!

Rodney

I'll take that as a "no"!

Bigweld

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer-

Rodney

Okay, got it!

Bigweld

Rodney! What's going on? Where are we?

Rodney

It's okay, you're alright!