Bigweld
[The Bigweld Industries executives are gathered in the meeting room, watching a clip of The Bigweld Show] [video]
So, remember, whether a bot is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts, you can shine no matter what you're made of! [the clip stops]
Ratchet
Oh, my goodness. What a remarkable legacy. Concern for the common robot. You just don't come across old-fashioned values like that anymore, my friends. And for a good reason... THERE'S NO MONEY IN IT! Hello! Memo to Bigweld: we're not a charity! That's why old Fat-face no longer sits in the big chair. He's a relic! So I don't want to hear another [in a whiny voice] "Where's Bigweld?" [imitates a baby whining]
C Chairman
We'll see him next month at the Bigweld Ball! He always goes to that. [Ratchet pushes a button which makes the chairman fall into a pit]
Ratchet
Now, let's get down to the business of sucking every loose penny out of Mr. and Mrs. Average Knucklehead. [closes the room's blinds and starts a presentation] What's our big ticket item? Upgrades, people, upgrades. That's how we make the dough. Now, if we're telling robots that no matter what they're made of, they're "fine", how can we expect them to feel crummy enough about themselves to buy our upgrades and make themselves look better? Therefore, I have come up with a new slogan: "Why be you when you can be new?" [turns off the screen and opens the blinds] I gotta tell you, I think it's brilliant, but honestly, I'd like to hear what you employees think about this.
E Employee
[after a moment of silence, the boardroom erupts in applause]
Out of the ballpark, Ratchet.
Bigweld
[to Rodney]
Son, let me give you a good piece of advice.
Rodney
Yes?
Bigweld
Give up.
Rodney
[shocked]
What? You're telling me to quit?
Bigweld
I said "give up", but "quit" works just as good.
Rodney
Is that what you did? Is that why you're sitting here, letting Ratchet turn robots like my father into outmodes?
Bigweld
Kid, sometimes you just gotta know when you're licked.
Rodney
But you're Bigweld. You can fix anything!
Bigweld
Hmm. I used to think so. To me, having the company was all about making life better. With Ratchet, it was making money that came first. I became old-fashioned. An outmode. Go home, kid! If he beat me, he's gonna beat you!
Rodney
But...
Bigweld
[angrily]
The world you're looking for no longer exists! You missed it! Find some other foolish dream! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm very, very... very, uh, busy.
Rodney
[hurt]
Yeah, I can see that. [to Cappy] All I ever wanted was to grow up to be like him.
Bigweld
[bursting through the head office door]
RATCHET! [Ratchet screams in a high pitch] I'll come right directly to the point!
Ratchet
What happened? Run out of dominoes? I'll send you some more!
Bigweld
You're fired!
Ratchet
Fired? On what grounds? This company's never been more profitable!
Bigweld
Profits, schmofits! Now, get out!
Ratchet
No, wait! Please listen to me! You can't do this to me! This job is my LIFE! It means everything to me! You don't know what I've done to get here! The lies I've told! The lives I've ruined! [realizes] This isn't helping me.
Bigweld
[off-screen]
I'll call the security!
Bigweld
[cut to Bigweld calling the operator on his intercom mic] [into an intercom mic]
Get me the security!
Ratchet
No, wait! Please! Can't I just make one more heartfelt plea?
Bigweld
Okay, what do you wanna say?
Ratchet
[Pounds Bigweld on the head with the intercom mic, knocking him out]
THAT! Oh, my gosh, I'm as crazy as my mother!
[Bigweld groans, but Ratchet hits him again]
Bigweld
[sings in a deep distorted voice while being repaired by Rodney]
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer-
Rodney
Okay, got it!
Bigweld
Rodney! What's going on? Where are we?
Rodney
It's okay, you're alright!
Bigweld
[Bigweld has been taken hostage by Madame Gasket and is a few steps away from being incinerated]
Gasket, you're a sick, twisted, evil robot.
MG Madame Gasket
[flattered, in a sing-song voice and fluttering her eyelashes]
I try.
