[Inside the cave, Aladdin sleeps groggily on the Carpet and Abu tries]
Oh, oh. Aladdin? Wake up. Aladdin.
[groans]
Oh, my head. [looks at a solid cavern] We're trapped. That two faced son-of-a-jackal! Whoever he was, he's long gone with that lamp.
Aha! [pulls out the lamp]
Why, you hairy little thief! It looks like such a beat-up, worthless piece of junk. Hey, I think there's something written here, but it's hard to make out.
G Genie
[Aladdin rubs the lamp with his sleeve, it glows slightly and the lamp begins to shake and glow, but Aladdin holds onto the lamp, towering above Aladdin is the gigantic Genie comes out of the lamp. He is a hip, hyper, mercurial Robin Williams type, full of exuberance] [screaming]
OY! 10,000 years will give ya such a crick in the neck! Hang on a second! Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there! Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi, where ya from? What's your name?
G Genie
Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al? Or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie? Sounds like here, boy! [whistles] Come on, Laddie!
[to the Carpet]
I must have hit my head harder than I thought.
G Genie
Do you smoke? Mind if I do? Oh, sorry, Cheeta, I hope I didn't singe the fur!
G Genie
[Abu is comically scared before the Carpet laughs] [noticed the Carpet]
Hey, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia! Give me some tassel! [to Aladdin] Yo yo! Yeah! Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side, do I look different to you?
Wait a minute! I'm your master?
G Genie
That's right! He can be taught!! What would you wish of me, [assumes a muscular physique and a deep Arnold Schwarzenegger-esque accent] the ever-impressive, [appears in a Phantom Zone-esque stretchy bubble] the long-contained, [creates a ventriloquist's dummy in his likeness, affecting a Señor Wences-esque high-pitched voice] often imitated, [creates multiple copies of himself] but never duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated... Genie Of The Lamp! [turns into a caricature of Ed Sullivan as the copies applaud] Right here, direct from the lamp, right here for your very much wish fulfillment. Thank you!
[getting it clear]
Whoa! Wish fulfillment?
G Genie
Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes. That's it, three. [affects a Groucho Marx impression] Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.
[Aladdin stares before deadpan] [to Abu]
Now I know I'm dreaming.
G Genie
[music for "Friend Like Me" begins]
Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate, whilst I illuminate the possibilities. [singing] Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves / Scheherezade had a thousand tales / But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves / You got a brand of magic never fails / You got some power in your corner now / Some heavy ammunition in your camp / You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how / See all you gotta do is rub that lamp / And I'll say...| Mister Aladdin, sir / What will your pleasure be? / Let me take your order / Jot it down / You ain't never had a friend like me...| Life is your restaurant / And I'm your maître d' / C'mon whisper what it is you want / You ain't never had a friend like me...| Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service / You're the boss / The king, the shah / Say what you wish / It's yours, true dish / How about a little more Baklava?| Have some of column A / Try all of column B / I'm in the mood to help you dude / You ain't never had a friend like me...| Can your friends do this? / Do your friends do that? / Do your friends pull this out their little hat? / Can your friends go poof? / Well, looky here / Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip / And then make the sucker disappear?| So dontcha sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed / I'm here to answer all your midnight prayers / You got me bona fide, certified / You got a genie for your charge d'affaires / I got a powerful urge to help you out / So what-cha wish? / I really want to know / You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt / Well, all you gotta do is rub like so - and oh...| Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three / I'm on the job, you big nabob / You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend / You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend / You ain't never had a friend like me / You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!| [song fades]
G Genie
[Back at the cave is empty again, save for Aladdin, Abu, the Carpet and the Genie, who now has a glowing neon "Applause" sign above his head]
So what'll it be, Master?
You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want?
G Genie
[affecting a William F. Buckley accent]
Ah, almost. There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos.
G Genie
Ah, first rule: I can't kill anybody. [slices his head off with his finger] So don't ask. Second rule: I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else. [Genie's head turns into a big pair of lips which kiss Aladdin] You little punim, there. [lies flat, then gets up and transforms into a zombie affecting a Peter Lorre accent] Third rule: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. [grabs Aladdin and shakes him] I DON'T LIKE DOING IT! [poofs back to normal] Other than that, you got it!
Ah, provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? [to Abu] Some all powerful genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way out of here.
G Genie
[stomps his foot in front of them, affects a Travis Bickle-esque Brooklyn accent, angrily and lost patience]
Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me?! I don't think so! NOT right now! YOU'RE GETTIN' YOUR WISHES, SO SIT DOWN!! [Aladdin and Abu sit on the carpet; Genie joins them and turns into a stewardess] In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the Carpet! WEEEEEEEEEEEE'RE... [they pop out of the cave and soar into the distance] ...OUTTA HERE!
[We zoom out slowly with the oasis in the distance, as fireworks begin to explode outward. Cut to a stack of a pile of toys. (Look for the Beast from "Beauty and the Beast" here.) We tilt up and see The Sultan balancing them. He carefully balances the last piece on top, then sits back and sighs. Jafar storms in, though, and the pile collapses.]
Sire, I have found a solution to the problem with your daughter.
Awk! The problem with your daughter!
[Unrolling a scroll]
Right here. "If the Princess has not chosen a husband by the appointed time, then The sultan shall choose for her."
But Jasmine hated all those suitors! [He tries to stuff a cracker into Iago's mouth. Iago backs away. The Sultan absentmindedly pulls the cracker back.] How could I choose someone she hates? [Iago is relieved, but The Sultan quickly stuffs a cracker in his mouth.]
Not to worry, my liege. There is more. If, in the event a suitable prince cannot be found, a princess must then be wed to... hmm... interesting.
The royal vizier! Why, that would be...me!
Why, I thought the law says that only a prince can marry a princess, I'm quite sure.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, my lord. [He pulls out the staff and hypnotizes The Sultan with it.]
Yes... desperate measures...
You will order the Princess to marry me.
I... will order... the Princess... to... [the spell breaks momentarily] ...but you're so old!
[Holds the staff closer]
The Princess WILL marry me!
[The trumpet fanfare of "Prince Ali" begins]
The Princess will marry... What? What is that? That music! Ha ha ha. Jafar, you must come and see this!
C Chorus
Make way for Prince Ali / Say hey! It's Prince Ali.
G Genie
[singing]
Hey, clear the way in the old bazaar / Hey, you! Let us through, it's a bright new star / Oh, come be the first on your block to meet his eye / Make way, here he comes, ring bells, bang the drums! / Oh, you're gonna love this guy!| Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa / Genuflect, show some respect / Down on one knee / Now, try your best to stay calm / Brush up your Sunday salaam / Then come and meet his spectacular coterie / Prince Ali, mighty is he, Ali Ababwa / Strong as ten regular men, definitely. [speaking as Walter Brennan] He faced the galloping hordes! [singing] A hundred bad guys with swords / [as Lou Albano] Who sent those goons to their lords? Why, Prince Ali!
C Chorus
He's got 75 golden camels.
G Genie
[as Harry Reasoner]
Don't they look lovely, June?
G Girls
Purple peacocks, he's got 53.
G Genie
[as June Lockhart or Mary Hart]
Fabulous, Harry, I love the feathers. [singing] When it comes to exotic-type mammals / Has he got a zoo? I'm telling you.
GA Genie and Chorus and Girls
It's a world-class menagerie.
GA Genie and Girls
[Genie doing an Ethel Merman impression]
Prince Ali, handsome is he, there's no question, this Ali's alluring / Ali Ababwa, never ordinary, never boring / That physique! How can I speak? / Weak at the knee, everything about the man just plain impresses / Well, get on out in that square, he's a winner, he's a wiz, a wonder / Adjust your veil and prepare, he's about to pull my heart asunder / To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali, and I absolutely love the way he dresses.
CA Chorus and Girls
He's got 95 white Persian monkeys / He's got the monkeys, let's see the monkeys / And to view them, he charges no fee / He's generous, so generous / He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies / Proud to work for him! / They bow to his whim, love serving him / They're just lousy with loyalty to Ali, Prince Ali.
GA Genie and Chorus and Girls
Prince Ali, amorous he, Ali Ababwa.
G Genie
[singing]
Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see! / And that, good people, is why / He got dolled up and dropped by.
CA Chorus and Girls
With 60 elephants, llamas galore / With his bears and lions, a brass band and more / With his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers / His birds that warble on key / Make way for Prince Ali! [fanfare ends]
[clapping]
Splendid, absolutely marvelous.
[clears throat]
Your Majesty, I have journeyed from afar to seek your daughter's hand.
Prince Ali Ababwa! Of course. I'm delighted to meet you. [rushes over and shakes Aladdin's hand] This is my royal vizier, Jafar. He's delighted too.
[extremely dryly]
Ecstatic. I'm afraid, Prince Abooboo...
Whatever. You cannot just parade in here uninvited and expect to...
...by Allah, this is quite a remarkable device. [tugs at the tassels, and they tug his moustache] I don't suppose I might...
Why certainly, Your Majesty. Allow me.
[He helps The Sultan up onto the Carpet, and he plops down. Jafar pins the Carpet down on the floor with the staff]
Sire, I must advise against this.
Oh, button up, Jafar. Learn to have a little fun.
[He kicks away the staff and Carpet and Sultan fly away. Iago, who was standing on the head of the staff, falls down, repeatedly bopping the staff with his beak as he descends. Sultan and Carpet fly high into the ceiling, then begin a dive-bomb attack, flying under Abu, scaring him. The flight continues in the background, while Jafar and Ali talk in the foreground]
Just where did you say you were from?
Oh, much farther than you've traveled, I'm sure. [smiles. Jafar does not]
Try me. [Iago lands on the staff]
[They all duck in time as the Carpet whizzes centimeters over their heads. Carpet returns and The Sultan chases Iago around the room]
Hey, watch it. Watch it with the dumb rug!
[The Carpet zooms underneath Iago, who sighs, wipes his brow, and crashes into a pillar. He crashes to the floor, and his head is circled by miniature Sultan's on Carpet's, saying "Have a cracker, have a cracker." The real Sultan begins his final approach]
Out of the way, I'm coming in to land. Jafar, watch this! [he lands]
Spectacular, Your Highness.
Ooh, that was lovely. Yes, I do seem to have a knack for it. [Carpet walks over to Abu dizzily, then collapses. Abu catches it] This is a very impressive youth. And a prince besides. [whispers to Jafar] If we're lucky, you won't have to marry Jasmine after all.
Nonsense. One thing I pride myself on Jafar, I'm an excellent judge of character.
Oh, excellent judge, yeah, sure... not!!!
[Jasmine walks in quietly]
Jasmine will like this one!
And I'm pretty sure I'll like Princess Jasmine!
Your Highness, no. I must intercede on Jasmine's behalf. [Jasmine hears this and gets mad] This boy is no different than the others. What makes him think he is worthy of the princess?
Your Majesty, I am Prince Ali Ababwa! [pricks Jafar's goatee, which springs out in all directions] Just let her meet me. I will win your daughter!
How dare you? [they all look at her surprised] All of you, standing around deciding my future? I am not a prize to be won! [storms out]
Oh, dear. Don't worry, Prince Ali. Just give Jasmine time to cool down. [they exit]
I think it's time to say goodbye to Prince Abooboo.
[Jasmine on her balcony at night. We tilt down and find Aladdin and company in the courtyard]
What am I going to do? Jasmine won't even let me talk to her. I should have known I couldn't pull off this stupid prince wish.
G Genie
[Abu struggles with his elephant paws to open a banana. He squishes it, and the banana squirts into his eye. He then tosses the banana peel into a heaping pile of the same] [to Carpet, playing chess]
So move! [Carpet does, knocking a black piece off the board] Hey, that's a good move. [as Rodney Dangerfield] I can't believe it-- I'm losing to a rug.
G Genie
[as Jack Nicholson]
Okay, Sparky, here's the deal. You wanna court the Little Lady, you gotta be a straight shooter, do ya got it?
G Genie
[back to normal, points out his words on a blackboard]
Tell her the...TRUTH!!!
No way! If Jasmine found out I was really some crummy street rat, [downcast] she'd laugh at me. [dons turban]
G Genie
[turns turban into a lamp shade]
A woman appreciates a man who can make her laugh! Al, all joking aside, you really oughtta be yourself.
Hey, that's the last thing I want to be. Okay, I'm gonna go see her. I gotta be smooth, cool, confident. How do I look?
G Genie
[The Genie regards him a little sadly. Gestures, the turban is restored] [false good humor]
Like a prince.
[Aladdin flies up to the balcony on Carpet. Jasmine is on her bed, sighing. Rajah is by her side] [from a distance]
Princess Jasmine?
[Rajah looks up and growls]
Who's there?
It's me, Prince Ali. Ahem-- [then he jumps to his deep voice] Prince Ali Ababwa.
I do not want to see you.
[Jasmine turns to go inside. He moves after her, so the room light illumines him]
No, no, please, Princess. Give me a chance. [Rajah growls and advances on him]
I'll leave you alone. Down, kitty!
G Genie
[Over the edge of the balcony, Carpet is watching with Genie below]
How's our beau doing?
[Carpet cuts his neck with his finger]
Good kitty, take off. Down, kitty. [He takes off his turban to brush Rajah away]
[looks at him thinking she has seen him before]
Wait, wait. Do I know you?
[quickly replaces his turban]
Uh, no, no.
You remind me of someone I met in the marketplace.
The marketplace? [a bee buzzes around his head] I have servants that go to the marketplace for me. Why I even have servants who go to the marketplace for my servants, so it couldn't have been me you met.
[looks disappointed]
No, I guess not.
G Genie
[as a bee]
Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her! She's smart, fun, the hair, the eyes. Anything--pick a feature!
Um, Princess Jasmine? You're very...
G Genie
[as a bee]
Wonderful, glorious, magnificent, punctual!
G Genie
[as a bee]
Sorry.
G Genie
[as a bee]
Nice recovery.
Hmm. I'm rich too, you know.
The daughter of a sultan.
A fine prize for any prince to marry.
Uh, right. Right. A prince like me.
G Genie
[as a bee; buzzing in his ear]
Warning! Warning!
Right, a prince like you. And every other stuffed shirt, swaggering peacock I've met!
G Genie
[as a bee; rear end on fire, wearing goggles and crashing]
Mayday! Mayday!
Just go jump off a balcony! [turns and walks away]
G Genie
[as a bee]
Stop her! Stop her! Do you want me to sting her?
G Genie
[as a bee]
Okay, fine. But remember-- bee yourself! [buzzes into his turban]
Uh, you're right. You aren't just some prize to be won. [looks disappointed] You should be free to make your own choice. [Jasmine and Rajah look at each other in confusion] I'll go now. [steps up on the ledge and drops off]
[pokes his head up from over the edge]
No? What? What?
[now she's amazed]
How-- how are you doing that? [she looks over the edge and sees the Carpet]
It's lovely. [Carpet takes Jasmine's hand with a tassel]
You, uh, you don't want to go for a ride, do you? We could get out of the palace, see the world.
[looks at him at the saying of that all-important line]
What?
[extends his hand the same as before]
Do you trust me?
[gets a sly grin on her face]
Yes.
[Jasmine takes his hand and hops on Carpet, with the camera zooming into the sky, knocking them both into sitting positions. Brad Kane and Lea Salonga music playing a song A Whole New World. Jasmine looks back and sees Rajah looks up at her questioningly. She gasps as they fly over the palace wall and into the sky] [singing]
I can show you the world / Shining, shimmering, splendid / Tell me, Princess, now when did / You last let your heart decide?| I can open your eyes / Take you wonder by wonder / Over, sideways and under / On a magic carpet ride...| A whole new world / A new fantastic point of view / No one to tell us no / Or where to go / Or say we're only dreaming.
[singing]
A whole new world / A dazzling place I never knew / But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear / That now I'm in a whole new world with you.
[singing]
Now I'm in a whole new world with you.
[singing]
Unbelievable sights / Indescribable feeling / Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling / Through an endless diamond sky...| A whole new world.
[singing]
Don't you dare close your eyes.
[singing]
A hundred thousand things to see.
[singing]
Hold your breath, it gets better.
[singing]
I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far.
[singing]
I can't go back to where I used to be...| A whole new world.
[singing]
Every turn a surprise.
[singing]
With new horizons to pursue.
[singing]
Every moment, red-letter.
AA Aladdin and Princess Jasmine
[singing]
I'll chase them anywhere, there's time to spare / Let me share this whole new world with you...| A whole new world, a whole new world / That's where we'll be, that's where we'll be.
[singing]
A thrilling chase.
[singing]
A wondrous place.
AA Aladdin and Princess Jasmine
[singing]
For you and me...| [song fades]
[Carpet hovers along over a lake, and we see the reflection of the moon in the lake. Fireworks burst and before them is the Great Wall of China in Mulan, sitting on a rooftop]
It's all so magical.
It's a shame Abu had to miss this.
Nah, he hates fireworks. He doesn't really like flying either. That is... Oh, no!
You're the boy from the market! I knew it. Why did you lie to me?
Did you think I was stupid?
That I wouldn't figure it out?
No. I mean, I hoped you wouldn't. No, that's not what I meant.
Who are you? Tell me the truth!
[Aladdin looks at Carpet on rooftop]
The truth, the truth is, I sometimes dress as a commoner, to escape the pressures of palace life. But I really am a prince!
Why didn't you just tell me?
Well, you know, uh, royalty going out into the city in disguise. It seems a little strange, don't you think?
[Jasmine flicks up the feather, Carpet puts a tassel under his "chin" and looks mystified. In the palace balcony, where Aladdin and Jasmine return] [Carpet forms a set of steps and she descends. Aladdin descending below the balcony]
Good night, my handsome prince.
Sleep well, Princess. [They slowly lean forward to kiss before Carpet bumps him up and they kiss sooner than expected] Yes! [he falls back onto the Carpet, who descends to the ground] For the first time in my life, things are starting to go right. [Aladdin looks up at Jasmine's balcony, and suddenly the guards' hand grab him]
Hey! What?! [muffled] Abu? Abu?
[Razoul grabs Aladdin on his feet and his hands. Razoul ties Carpet in a knot and Jafar approaches]
I'm afraid you've worn out your welcome, Prince A-Boo-Boo.
[walks away]
Make sure he's never found.
[Razoul hits him in the head, and he falls unconscious. In a cliff, where Razoul laughs as Aladdin's body drops into the water. He is conscious now, but his feet are tied to a rock. The rock hits the sea bottom, then the turban lands and the lamp tumbles out. He sees this and struggles to rub the lamp. However, he loses consciousness and falls to the floor. The lamp, unsettled by his movement, rolls down and rubs against his hands. It shakes, and Genie emerges with a bath brush, rubber duckie, and shower cap]
G Genie
Never fails. You get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. [squeaks the duck] Hello? [sees unconscious Aladdin] Al? Al! Kid, snap out of it. You can't cheat on this one, I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say, "Genie, I want you to save my life." Got it? Okay. Come on, Aladdin!! [he grabs Aladdin by the shoulders and shakes him. His head goes up, then falls] I'll take that as a yes. [head turns into a siren] Wooga! Wooga! [turns into a submarine] Up scope! [he babbles in something that sounds like German. On the surface, a giant water spout emerges, and lands on top of the cliff. Aladdin reawakes and coughs the water out of his lungs] Don't you scare me like that!
Genie, I-- uh, I- uh, I... [he can't think of how to say it, so they just hug each other] Thanks, Genie.
G Genie
Oh, Al. I'm gettin' kind of fond of you, Kid. Not that I want to pick out curtains or anything.
[Inside Jasmine's room, Jasmine humming "A Whole New World" and unbraids her hair. The Sultan appears in one of the double doors, hypnotized] [from a distance]
Jasmine!
Oh, Father-- I just had the most wonderful time. I'm so happy.
[tranced]
You should be, Jasmine. I have chosen a husband for you.
[the other door opens and reveals Jafar]
You will wed Jafar.
[Jasmine gasps. Jafar steps forward, the sight of him]
You're speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.
I will never marry you. [goes to The Sultan] Father, I choose Prince Ali!
[A quick pan finds Aladdin standing in the doorway to the balcony]
Better check your crystal ball again, Jafar!
[Jafar gasps at the sight of Aladdin]
How in the he-- [back to parrot-ese] --uh, awk!
Tell them the truth, Jafar! You tried to have me killed.
What? [goes to The Sultan] Ridiculous nonsense, Your Highness. He is obviously lying.
[Jafar brings the staff close to The Sultan's face]
Obviously...lying.
[Aladdin sees the staff with its glowing eyes]
Father, what's wrong with you?
[Aladdin smashes the head of the staff against the floor, Jafar flinches and the spell is broken for good]
Oh, oh, oh my!
Your Highness, Jafar's been controlling you with this! [he advances the staff]
What? Jafar? You, you traitor!
[The trio advances on Jafar]
Your Majesty, all of this can be explained.
Well, that's it--we're dead, forget it. Just dig a grave for both of us. We're dead.
[But Jafar sees the lamp in Aladdin's pocket. Jafar makes a move, but is arrested by guards]
Arrest Jafar at once.
[a hiss]
This is not done yet, boy!
[Aladdin leaps at him, but Jafar throws down a smoke pellet. A large red cloud appears. Jafar is gone. Jasmine helps Aladdin up, embraces him]
Find him, search everywhere!
Jasmine, are you all right?
[They lean in to kiss, but The Sultan barges between them]
Jafar, my most trusted counselor, plotting against me all this time. This is horrible, just horrible. How will I ever--
[The Sultan notices Jasmine and Aladdin, and looks at the pair]
Can it be true? My daughter has finally chosen a suitor? [she nods] Ha, ha! Praise Allah! You brilliant boy, I could kiss you! I won't--I'll leave that to my... [Aladdin beams] But you two will be wed at once! Yes, yes. And you'll be happy and prosperous, and then my boy, you will be sultan!
Yes, a fine upstanding youth like yourself, a person of your unimpeachable moral character is exactly what this kingdom needs!
[Aladdin looks concerned at this. Inside Jafar's chambers, Jafar and Iago enter]
We gotta get outta here! We gotta get-- I gotta start packing, Your Highness. Only essentials.
[Iago starts throwing things out of his cage. Jafar smiles broadly]
We gotta travel light! Bring the guns, the weapons, the knives [stops and takes out a picture of himself and Jafar] and how about this picture? I don't know--I think I'm making a weird face in it.
[Jafar laughs with insane glee]
Oh, boy. He's cracked. He's gone nuts. [Iago flies down to an oblivious Jafar and knocks on his head] Jafar? Jafar? Get a grip! [Jafar grabs him around the neck] Good grip!
Prince Ali is nothing more than that ragged urchin Aladdin. [loosens his grip] He has the lamp, Iago.
But you are going to relieve him of it!
[Outside the palace, Aladdin is looking at the gardens] [to himself]
Sultan? You want me to be "sultan"?
G Genie
[comes out of his lamp]
Huzzah! Hail the conquerin' hero! [He turns into a one-man band. He sees Aladdin walk away with his head hung. He stops, scratches his head, comes up with an idea, then zooms over to Aladdin. He holds up his hands like a director scoping a picture and we look through them.] Aladdin! You've just won the heart of The Princess. What are you gonna do next?
G Genie
[Aladdin sadly walks to the bed. He goes to him and pulls out a script]
Psst, your line is "I'm going to free the genie." Anytime.
G Genie
Sure ya can. You just go, [grabs Aladdin’s head and uses him as a mock ventriloquist's dummy] "Genie, I wish you free."
[pulls him away]
I'm serious! Look, I'm sorry-- I really am. But they wanna make me Sultan-- no, they wanna make Prince Ali sultan. Without you, I'm just Aladdin.
Because of you! The only reason anyone thinks I'm worth anything is because of you. What if they find out I'm not really a prince? What do you bet Jasmine finds out? I'd lose her. Genie, I-I can't keep this up on my own. I... I can't wish you free.
G Genie
[obviously hurt]
Fine. I understand. After all, you've lied to everyone else. Hey, I was just beginning to feel left out. Now, if you'll excuse me, "Master". [vanishes into his lamp]
[picks up his lamp]
Genie, I'm really sorry. [a tongue comes out of the spout and blows raspberry at him, he angrily covers it with a pillow] Well, fine! Then just... stay in there! [sees Abu and Carpet looking at him, bitterly but still angry] What are you guys lookin' at? [Abu and Carpet sadly starts leaving] Look, I... I-I'm sor... Abu, I'm sorry. I didn't... Wait. Come on. [sighs] What am I doing? Genie's right--I gotta tell Jasmine the truth.
[off-screen]
Ali, oh Ali--will you come here?
[putting on his turban]
Well, here goes. [walks into the garden] Jasmine? Where are you?
[We see Iago wearing a beak and standing in stilts next of a flamingo in the pond. He is imitating Jasmine's voice]
Out in the menagerie, hurry.
[We see Aladdin hurry past, not noticing the birds. Iago laughs, then turns back and looks into the face of a flamingo, who is panting and sighs]
Ya got a problem, pinky? [he sweeps the bird's legs from under it] Jerk. [Iago rushes into the palace and finds the lamp under the pillow] Boy, Jafar's gonna be happy to see you! Excellent! [stretches his face and imitating Jafar's voice] Excellent work, Iago! [normal voice] Ah, go on. [Jafar's voice] No, really--on a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven! [normal voice] Ah, Jafar--you're too kind. I'm embarrassed, I'm blushing.
[Iago flies away with the lamp] [Outside the palace entrance, The Sultan is standing on top, gates open, throngs of people cheering]
People of Agrabah, my daughter has finally chosen a suitor!
[She behind the curtain, where Jasmine is peeking. Aladdin appears at the bottom of the stairs]
Jasmine?
Ali, where have you been?
Jasmine, there's something I've got to tell you.
The whole kingdom has turned out for father's announcement!
No. But Jasmine, listen to me, please! You don't understand...
[Jasmine pushes him out onto the platform with The Sultan, the crowd cheers]
...Ali Ababwa!
[Jafar and Iago are watching The Sultan's coronation.]
Look at them, cheering that little pipsqueak.
Let them cheer. [rubs the lamp]
G Genie
[comes out of the lamp, annoyed]
Ya know, Al, I'm getting really-- [sees Jafar and cringes] I don't think you're him. [reads the script] Tonight, the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man.
[offended by the last remark, Jafar grabs Genie and pins him under his foot]
I am your master now!
G Genie
I was afraid of that.
Genie, grant me my first wish! I wish to rule on high AS SULTAN!
[Outside where dark clouds circle the palace like Dark Cloud. The palace earthshakes. The roof rips off and The Sultan and Aladdin duck.
Bless my soul. What is this? What's going on? Oh, my goodness, what's happening?
[His turban lifts off his head. When The Sultan grabs it, his whole body flies up, then is stripped of all his clothing except his underwear. The clothes reappears in Jafar]
Father.
[Jafar laughs evilly]
Jafar, you vile betrayer.
That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to you.
Oh, yeah? Well, we'll just see about that! [pulls off his own turban, but finds it empty] The lamp!
Finders-keepers, Abooboo.
[They both look up and see a gigantic Genie lift the palace into the thunder cackling. Aladdin gasps. The Genie destroys the palace. Aladdin whistles and Carpet flies up to greet him. The villagers run and scream. They fly up near the Genie's head]
Genie! No!
G Genie
Sorry, kid--I got a new master now.
[The Genie places the palace on top of a mountain]
Jafar, I order you to stop!
Ah, but there's a new order now--my order! Finally, you will bow to me!
[The Sultan bows, but Jasmine does not]
We'll never bow to you!
If you will not bow before a sultan, then you will cower before a sorcerer! [to Genie] Genie, my second wish--I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world!
[Genie extends his finger. Aladdin tries to stop him, but he cannot, and another Genie (tm) brand lightning bolt strikes Jafar, returning him to his normal look]
Ladies and gentlemen, a warm Agrabah welcome for Sorcerer Jafar!
Now where were we? Ah, yes--abject humiliation!
[Jafar zaps Jasmine and The Sultan with his staff, and they both bow to him. Rajah comes running at him. He zaps Rajah, and the tiger turns into a kitty-cat]
Down, boy! Oh, Princess. [lifts her chin with his staff] There's someone I'm dying to introduce you to.
[off-camera]
Jafar! Get your hands off her!
[Jafar zaps Aladdin. Carpet flies away] [singing]
Prince Ali / Yes, it is he / But not as you know him / Read my lips / And come to grips / With reality / Yes, meet a blast from your past / Whose lies were too good to last / Say hello to your precious Prince Ali.
Or should we say Aladdin?
Jasmine, I tried to tell you.
[singing]
So Ali / Turns out to be / Merely Aladdin / Just a con / Need I go on? / Take it from me / His personality flaws / Give me adequate cause / To send him packing on a one-way trip / So his prospects take a terminal dip / His assets frozen / The venue chosen / It's the ends of the earth, whoopee / So long...
[singing]
...ex-Prince Ali... [laughs]
[Jafar has zapped Abu back to normal. He sends the two of them into a tall pillar, then launches it like a rocket, but not before Carpet can get in. Fade to black, then open on to a snowy wasteland, where the pillar crashes and rolls. It finally comes to a stop. Aladdin emerges, obviously very cold]
Abu? [echoing] ABUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! [He turns back to the shivering pile of snow] Oh, this is all my fault. I-I should have freed The Genie when I had the chance!
[Aladdin digs out Abu and cradling him inside the vest]
Abu, are you okay?
I'm sorry, Abu-- I made a mess of everything, somehow. I gotta go back and set things right.
[Aladdin steps out through the snow, and he eventually steps on a frozen Carpet]
Carpet!
[Aladdin looks up and sees Carpet is pinned by the pillar. Aladdin tugs to try and free Carpet. He can't do it, so he begins to remove snow from the base of the pillar]
Abu, start digging! That's it!
[Finally, enough snow has been removed, and the pillar begins to roll. Aladdin runs away, looks back, then slides into place. The pillar rolls over him, and when it is gone, Aladdin and Abu are left sitting in the patch of snow made by the window of the pillar]
Yeah! All right!
[Aladdin looks up at his turban, made out of scared Abu. Carpet shakes off the snow and runs over to pick them up]
Now, back to Agrabah! Let's go!
[Outside the Agrabah, shrouded in red clouds. Inside the throne room, Iago has The Sultan, dressed in jester's clothes, and Jasmine is chained next to the throne]
Puppet ruler want a cracker? Here's your cracker. Shove 'em all the way down your throat. Here, have lots!
[Jafar pulls the chain, and Jasmine walks up to him holding an apple]
Stop it! Jafar, leave him alone!
[Iago stops for a second, then continues]
It pains me to see you reduced to this, Jasmine. [he takes a bite out of the apple she is holding] A beautiful desert bloom such as yourself should be on the arm of the most powerful man in the world. [he waves his finger and a crown appears] What do you say, my dear? Why, with you as my Queen...
[Jasmine picks up a glass of wine and throws it in his face]
Never!
I'll teach you some respect! [she falls back as he raises his hand to slap her, then he stops] No. Genie, I have decided to make my final wish. I wish for Princess Jasmine to fall desperately in love with me.
G Genie
[We see Aladdin race back into town] [again as Buckley]
Ah, master, there are a few addendas, some quid pro quos...
[whirls on him]
Don't talk back to me, you big blue lout!
[Jasmine looks up and sees Aladdin, peering around a window, Abu and the Carpet at his play along]
You will do what I order you to do, slave!
[stands and puts the crown on her head]
Jafar! I never realized how incredibly handsome you are.
[The Genie's jaw drops]
Mmm. That's better. [pulls the Genie's jaw up like a shade] Now, pussycat, tell me more about... myself.
You're tall, dark, well dressed...
G Genie
[Jafar walks over to her. Aladdin jumps down with Abu and Genie sees them]
Al! Al, little buddy!
G Genie
[literally zips his mouth shut, then unzips it]
Al, I can't help you--I work for Señor Psychopath, now. [his head turns into Jafar's, then back] What are you gonna do?
Hey-- I'm a street rat, remember? [he rezips Genie's mouth] I'll improvise.
[Aladdin slides down a pile of coins and hides close to Jafar and Jasmine. Jafar's back is to Aladdin]
Cute little gaps between your teeth.
And your beard...is so...twisted! You've stolen my heart.
[Jasmine has handsome arms around him. Jasmine pretends to twist with her finger, but she is actually motioned for Aladdin to come over, he makes his move. Iago sees him]
Jaf--mmmmmm!
[Abu grabs him and covers his mouth]
And the Street Rat?
[When Iago manages to knock over a bowl. Jafar turns to look, but Jasmine grabs him back and kisses him. He looks disgusted. Iago and Abu both look disgusted]
Yecch!
That was... [sees Aladdin's reflection in Jasmine's crown] YOU! [He zaps Aladdin just as he is about to reach his respective lamp. Genie watches in shock] How many times do I have to kill you, boy?
[Jasmine rushes him, and he angrily throws her to the ground. Aladdin bravely rushes toward him and heroically grabs his staff]
Get the lamp!
No! [Jasmine runs to do so, but Jafar shakes off Aladdin, but evilly zaps her into an hourglass] Ah, ah, ah, Princess. Your time is up!
[Sand begins to flow from the top onto her, and she immediately realizes what will happen]
Oh, nice shot, Jaf–
[Abu angrily knocks Iago out with the fruit bowl that fell earlier and rushes for the lamp]
Don't toy with me!
[Abu is almost to the lamp, but the blast from Jafar's staff turns him into a toy monkey, with cymbals and a wind-up key]
Abu!
[Carpet rushes in and grabs the lamp as he flies side-by-side, but Jafar zaps him as well]
Things are unraveling fast now, boy! [Carpet unravels in midair, ending up as a pile of tangled threads and tassels. The lamp bounces away and lands in front of Aladdin] Get the point? [Aladdin runs for the lamp, but his path is blocked by a ring of large swords sticking in the floor. Aladdin reaches for his lamp, but the opening is too narrow for him to get far enough, and Jafar evilly grabs it] I'm just getting warmed up! [evilly breathes fire around Aladdin, setting the ring on fire. The Street Rat, however, yet stands his ground]
ARE YOU AFRAID TO FIGHT ME YOURSELF, YOU COWARDLY SNAKE?!
[emerges through the fire, suddenly getting an idea from Aladdin's statements]
A snake, am I? Perhaps you'd like to see how snake-like I can be!
G Genie
[He transformation into a snake, and the ring of fire around Aladdin becomes part of the snake encircling Aladdin. From inside the hourglass, Jasmine watches Jafar's transformation in shock. Meanwhile, Snake Jafar snaps at Aladdin twice, and on the third try, Aladdin swings the sword and hits Jafar. The giant snake yells in pain. Cut to four Genies as cheerleaders wearing "A" sweaters] [in unison]
Rickem, rockem, rackem, rake--stick that sword into that snake!
[to Genie angrily]
You stay out of this-s-s-s!
G Genie
[The Genies merge back into one and he waves a pennant, not wishing to root for his evil current master] [dryly]
Jafar, Jafar, he's our man--if he can't do it, GREAT!!!
[Meanwhile, Aladdin uses the distraction from his genie to make a break for the hourglass where Jasmine is trapped. However, Jafar sees this and blocks the path. Aladdin is thrown off, and loses his sword. He hears a shout from Jasmine]
Aladdin!
[Aladdin turns to see Jasmine already knee-deep in sand. He bravely jumps on a large gem and heroically slides across the floor, bravely grabbing his sword along the road. He turns a corner, but the pursuing snake cannot, and the front half of Jafar smashes through a wall and hangs outside the palace. Aladdin bravely jumps up on the snake's back and heroically stabs him hard. Jafar shrieks in agony. Cut to Aladdin, who is once again trying to free Jasmine. At this point, she is now neck-deep in sand, and sinking fast]
[He is about to hit the glass with a piece of wood he caught earlier until Jafar grabs him] [laughs hideously]
You little fool! You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth?
[with Genie coming up behind him]
Squeeze him, Jafar! Squeeze him like a--awk! [Genie elbows him out of the road, all the while trying to look innocent]
Without the Genie, boy, you're nothing! [Aladdin suddenly glances down at Genie, who shrugs his shoulders, not knowing what to do either]
The Genie? [has an idea] The Genie! THE GENIE HAS MORE POWER THAN YOU'LL EVER HAVE!
HE GAVE YOU YOUR POWER! HE CAN TAKE IT AWAY!
G Genie
[concerned]
Al, what are you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?
FACE IT, JAFAR, YOU'RE STILL JUST...SECOND-BEST! [Jafar thinks for a moment, and realizes Aladdin's right. Genie's "phenomenal cosmic powers" far surpass his, meaning that he yet can't call himself the most powerful being as he thought]
You're right, his power does exceed my own. But not for long! [Jafar circles around the Genie, aiming to rectify the power discrepancy between him]
G Genie
[hesitantly]
The boy's crazy. He's a little punch-drunk. [turns his hand into a cobra puppet and beats himself with it] One too many hits with the snake.
[imperatively]
Slave, I make my third wish!! I wish to be an all-powerful Genie! [Aladdin looks down at Genie from Jafar's coils, and Jasmine, who is now almost buried in sand, looks toward her captor as well. Then Genie sighs in defeat, knowing he has no choice but to comply with Jafar's request]
G Genie
[reluctantly]
Alright, your wish is my command. Way to go, Al.
[Genie zaps Jafar with the last Genie-brand lightning bolt. Jafar's snake form dissipates, freeing Aladdin and he begins his transformation into a Genie. One shies from using the word "orgasmic" in a Disney animated feature script]
Yes! Yes! The power! The absolute power!
[At this point, all that remains of Jasmine before she disappears under the sand is her raised hand. Thankfully, Aladdin runs over and eventually smashes the glass. The sand, along with Jasmine pours out, and she coughs a bit. Jafar rises out of the palace and towards outer space like Star Wars, getting larger as his power grows. Down below, the wind blows fiercely to signal what's to follow] [to Aladdin frightfully]
What have you done?!
[Suddenly, a black lamp, similar to that of Genie's, appears at Jafar's base, though he is too busy manipulating the stars and planets like to notice at]
The universe is mine to command, to control!
NOT SO FAST, JAFAR! AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING?
[Jafar looks down at him questioningly, confused as to what the Street Rat is speaking about]
Huh?
YOU WANTED TO BE A GENIE, YOU'VE GOT IT!
[back to normal]
AND EVERYTHING THAT GOES WITH IT!
[Aladdin holds up the black lamp, and it begins to suck Jafar in. He tries to escape, but its power is too strong]
NO! NO!!
Phenomenal cosmic powers!
[Iago tries to fly off, but Jafar grabs him, and he gets sucked in as well]
Come on, you're the genie, I don't want--
[With one final clank, Jafar and Iago are sucked inside his lamp, and that is the last we see of them]
Itty-bitty living space.
G Genie
[ruffles Aladdin's hair]
Al, you little genius, you!
[As a result of being trapped in his lamp, all of Jafar's magic undoes itself. First, Abu turns back into a real monkey and Carpet re-ravels himself. Next, Jasmine, The Sultan and Rajah stand together, and the tiger jumps up into The Sultan's arms. Just then, they are all transformed back into their regular clothes, and Rajah, now an adult tiger again, almost crushes him. Eventually, the palace reappears back in the ciy from where it was taken. Aladdin holds Jafar's lamp as he and Iago start arguing]
Get your blasted beak out of my face!
Don't tell me to shut up!
G Genie
Allow me. Ten thousand years in the Cave of Wonders oughtta chill him out. [flicks the lamp explosion into the desert]
[last words]
Shut UP!
[Jafar and Iago continue to argue as they fade out]
[Last lines; Jasmine walks over to Aladdin. They hold hands, but both look sad]
Jasmine, I'm sorry I lied to you about being a prince.
Well, I guess this is goodbye. [Genie pokes his head around the corner shocked at what he is hearing]
Oh, that stupid law. This isn't fair. I love you.
G Genie
[wipes away a tear]
Al, no problem. You still got one wish left. Just say the word and you're a prince again.
But what about your freedom?
G Genie
Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. This is love. [he leans down next to her] Al, you're not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I've looked.
Jasmine, I do love you. But I gotta stop pretending to be something I'm not.
[They take one final look into each other's eyes, then Aladdin turns to the Genie]
Genie, I wish for your freedom.
G Genie
One prince pedigree coming up. I... What?
[he holds the lamp up to Genie]
Genie, you're free.
G Genie
[A transformation scene ensues, in which the shackles fall off Genie's wrists and the lamp falls uselessly to the ground. Genie picks it up and looks at it] [he can't believe it; laughing]
I'm free. I'm free. [he hands the lamp to Aladdin] Quick, quick, wish for something outrageous. Say, "I want the Nile." Wish for the Nile. Try that.
G Genie
No way. [laughs hysterically. He bounces around the balcony like a pinball] Oh, does that feel good! I'm free. I'm free at last. I'm hittin’ the road. I'm off to see the world. I'm...
[He is packing a suitcase, but looks down and sees Aladdin looking very sad]
Genie, I'm... I'm gonna miss you.
G Genie
[smiling, with a tear in his eye]
Me too, Al. No matter what anybody says, you'll always be a prince to me.
[They hug. The Sultan steps forward]
That's right. You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's that law that's the problem.
Well, am I sultan or am I sultan? From this day forth, The Princess shall marry whoever she deems worthy.
[she smiles widely and runs into Aladdin's arms]
Him. I choose... I choose you, Aladdin.
G Genie
[They are about to kiss when giant blue hands pull everybody together. Genie is decked out in a Hawaiian shirt with golf clubs and a Goofy hat]
All of you, come over here. Big group hug. Do you mind if I kiss the monkey? [he kisses Abu] Ooh, hairball. Well, I can't do any more damage around this popsicle stand. [takes off] I'm outta here! Bye-bye, you two crazy lovebirds! Hey, Rugman, Ciao, I'm history. No, I'm mythology. I don't care what I am! I'm free-hee!
[The Genie flies up into the blue sky leaving a trail of sparkles behind him. They cut (a jump cut to make matters worse) to fireworks exploding over a nightscape. We tilt down and see Aladdin and Jasmine flying on Carpet] [singing]
A whole new world.
[singing]
A whole new life.
AA Aladdin and Princess Jasmine
[with off-camera chorus]
For you and me!
C Chorus
A whole new world!
G Genie
[They fly off into the moonlight, and after they have disappeared, the moon turns and reveals the Genie's laughing face. Suddenly the film is grabbed "off the projector", the Genie lifts it up and looks at the audience]
Made you look.
[Drops the film back to normal, in a normal moon. During the credits, "Friend Like Me" song is instrumental version]
