Genie And your name is...?
I'm Thor.
Genie You're Thor?
Well, it hurth.
Genie Once again, this whole broadcast has been brought to you by sand! It's everywhere! Get used to it!
Genie Observe! [pushes a button on the remote control and a Genie robot appears]
You have violated the perimeter of the Aladdin and Jasmine wedding! Prepare to be vaporized. Thank you!
Genie Armed and dangerous! I'd like to see one of those 40 Thieves get within an inch of your wedding.
Ahem! Allow me to introduce...
Genie All units, we have a Code Red!
Genie Code Red! Code Red!
Genie Come on, boys! Follow me! [all play bagpipes]
Genie Cavalry, FORWARD! [all Lone Rangers follow him]
Genie Geronimo! Arapaho! Navajo! (as Pocahontas) Pocahontas!
Genie Do not attempt to move or we'll be shooting ourselves!
Genie Back off, Al, this creep's got a yellow sheet as long as my arm!
Genie, meet my dad.
Genie Stand down, men. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
Genie If you're Al's dad and the King of Thieves, I just wanna know one thing!
Yeah?
Genie Will you be having the chicken or the sea bass?
Genie Ooh, in all my years, never have I seen the streets so full of bustle and hustle and assorted commotion!
Our princess is to wed.
Genie Ooh, wonderful! And who's the lucky prince?
Not a prince at all. Just a no-account street rat.
Genie No way! (grabs Razoul) Try it phonetically. It's...Aladdin! (A neon lit "Aladdin" sign appears as record scratches; blinks out) Aww– some of you don't believe. [Main titles appears, this time in Arabian style, as music resumes and fireworks pops]. (as Tinker Bell) In colour! (giggles)
Genie Hmmm, maybe you, you could elope! No, you cantelope, [pulls a cantaloupe from nowhere] But oh Honeydew! [slaps fruit into view, it turns into a Cinderella carriage] I dunno if I should put it in Props or Produce! Please, don't squeeze the tires, they're not quite ripe!
It is tragic, Your Highness, but it appears Aladdin has followed in his father's footsteps.
Genie I object, Your Honor! (turns Razoul into a bailiff and the Sultan into the judge) I object to that outrageous statement. And I object to a tertiary character having any lines in my courtroom. (Hands him a suitcase and blasts him out of sight) Take this to a higher court, my good man!
Genie, I need my father's clothes.
Genie Al, c'mon! Why you gonna try on the King of Thieves get-up? Might I suggest something that doesn't actually say "ARREST ME"?! (In black and white prisoner clothes)
Where is he?
Genie Hakuna Matata! (turns back, looks scared) Whoa. I was having an out-of-movie experience.
Genie I thought the was supposed to move until the honeymoon.
Oh, oh, my word!
Genie STAMPEDE!!!! (Elephant smash through the palace)
Genie It's a big, bright, beautiful future / Thank your lucky stars you're alive / Ya got someone special to talk to / A friend that you can trust for life! / You've been on your own / With no family ties [pulls out a selection of neckties]/ But those solo days are done / You'll be two of a kind / Spending quality time / Together / As father and son! / Buildin' model ships / Takin' fishin' trips / Workin' hand in hand / Paintin' the palace, an' mowin' the sand / First and ten-to-go / With your daddy-o / Once you break the ice / [as Albert Einstein ] You can postulate paternal advice /[speaking] See, you're traveling at the speed of life, that's the theory of relatives! / [regular singing voice in a Jetsons-inspired hover car] It's a fine, fantabulous future / I see fruit on the family tree / [as elderly man] You'll be great as a grumpy ol' grandpa / [as toddler triplets] Bouncing babies on your knee / You can fall asleep on the comfy couch /[turns into a basketball] After playin' one-on-one / Dreamin' back-to-back / That you walloped the Shaq / Together / As father and son!
May be a bumpy ride
We'll make it side-by-side
Genie Good afternoon, I'll be your travel guide / Move over, laddie, / Make room for daddy! /[singing] You got a whole new shoulder to cry on / Take a chance now, give it a spin / You've had chums for pallin' around with / But you never had a friend like him! / [as Don Corleone at a dining table] Put your checkered past behind you now / No more livin' on the run / [regular singing voice in a Brady Bunch-esque opening sequence] Face the big, bright, beautiful future / Together... together... together... together... / As father and son!
Frankly my boy, your actions were most disappointing.
It is tragic, Your Highness, but the street rat has obviously followed in his father's footsteps. Aladdin is a criminal.
Genie I object, Your Honor! [turns Razoul into a bailiff and the Sultan into the judge] I object to that outrageous statement. And I object to a tertiary character having any lines during my big courtroom scene. [hands him a suitcase and blasts him out of sight] Take this to a higher court! Ciao!
Genie Wait a minute. We're not getting outta here, man! We're not getting outta here! Don't ya understand it, man? This is it, game's over, man!
Adrian Cronauer
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Fender Pinwheeler
