"Friends Come in all Sizes!"
Rainbow Randolph
Robin Williams · 20 quotes
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy
Edward Norton · 20 quotes
Merv Green
Harvey Fierstein · 3 quotes
Nora
Catherine Keener · 3 quotes
Tommy Kotter
3 quotes
Most scenes together: Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy & Nora (2)
Death to Smoochy quotes
Page 1 of 4
Angelo Pike He was jacked up higher than a prom dress in June.
You're here to sell sugar and plastic.
Bartender I never saw anyone get buzzed off of orange juice.
Let me tell you a secret - if you squirt a little liquid alfalfa in, it's blast-off time.
Cop
Are you okay?
I don't know. I'm kinda **** up in general, so it's hard to gauge.
Eventually we all grow old and die, only sometimes the growing old part doesn't happen.
Wipe your forehead Frank, you got plenty of time to sweat.
I'm a fraud. I'm a wicked man who's done some wicked acts.
Well, it's like the song says... [flips the gun's cylinder in place] We all have our bad days.
You want your little booger eater on my show?
Wife
Yes, very much.
Then don't tell me how to run my **** business.
Reporter
How does it feel to be the most hated man in America?
In this country full of neanderthals, I wear it as a **** badge of honor.
Reporter 2 Nora Wells says you have an unhealthy obsession with Mopes.
I barely know that bitch, okay? And she's been down on everything but the Titanic. She spreads like cream cheese for Sheldon.
Reporter 3 What about the rumors that you're mentally imbalanced?
Who the **** said that?! That's bullshit. I'm not mentally imbalanced. I'm on the same dosage I've always been.
I'll be in my office, the big one with a view!
They all have views, you dumb shit!
Not looking this way, cupcake!
So remember kids, a step-dad is a lot like a new puppy. They need patience and love while they adjust to their new surroundings. But remember - if he is ever abusive to you or mommy, what are the magic numbers?
Kids
9-1-1!
Thaaaaaaat's right!
Roy, have you got the hammer?
Roy Always got the hammer, Tommy.
We're going to find him, cut off his balls, and shove 'em up his ass.
Well, maybe we should leave that for the cops, Tommy.
Roy Cops won't do the ball thing, it's against procedure.