Catherine Keener movie quotes

View Quote Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you, with total lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?

View Quote Behind the stubble and the too-prominent brow and the male-pattern baldness... I sensed your feminine longing. And it just slew me.

View Quote Just one question. Who the **** is John Malkovich?

View Quote Pizza Guy: [nervously] W-what's going on?! What did I do?! What did you guys do with me?!
Cop: [determinedly] That's right, punk. Blame your system. Right, Elastigirl?
Elastigirl: Your tracker worked like a charm, Evelyn. You're a genius.
Evelyn: Oh, shucks. I'm just the genius behind the genius.

View Quote Evelyn: You know what's sad? If it weren't for your core beliefs, I think we could have been good friends.
Elastigril/Helen: [woozy] At least I have… have core beliefs…

View Quote [Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl and Frozone sitting on a couch inside a screening room. Winston Deavor standing before them]
Winston: Let me ask you something. What is the main reason you were all forced underground?
Bob: Ignorance.
Winston: Perception. [Walks to the screen as it shows several footages] Take today, for example, with the Underminer. Difficult situation, you were faced with a lot of hard decisions.
Bob: Ugh, tell me about it.
Winston: I can't. Because I didn't see it. Neither did anyone else, so when you fight bad guys, like today, people don't see the fight or what led up to it. They see what politicians tell them to see. They see destruction, and they see you. So if we want to change people's perceptions about superheroes, we need you to share your perceptions with the world.
Helen: How do we do that?
Evelyn: With cameras.
[She clicks a button on her remote and footage of Winston appears on the screen in several images from different angles]
Winston: [from the footage] We need you to share your perceptions with the world.
Helen: [from the footage] How do we do that?
Evelyn: We embed tiny cameras, like those, into your supersuits.
[Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, and Frozone looks at the mini-camera on their access card as they appear on the screen].
Helen: [impressed] Wow! So small, and the picture is outstanding!
Evelyn: Thanks. Designed 'em myself.
Winston: We've got resources, lobbyists, world wide connections, and, very important, insurance.
Bob: Insurance is key.
Winston: All we need now are the superest superheros. It means you three. Come on! Help me make all Supers legal again!
Bob: [stands up with excitement] This sounds GREAT! Let's get this goin'! What's my first assignment?
Winston: [sits down Mr. Incredible, gently] That enthusiasm is golden. Hold on to it, but to our first move, well... [turns to Helen] Elastigirl is our best play.
Bob: [surprised] Better than me? [Helen clears her throat, glaring at her husband with a strict look] I mean, she's good. She's, uh... really a credit to her, but uh... you know? You know?
Winston: With great respect, let's not test the whole "insurance will pay for everything" idea on the first go-round, okay?
[Elastigirl and Frozone chuckle softly].
Bob: W-wait a minute! You're saying what? I'm... messy?
Winston: [hands Bob a dossier] Well, Evelyn did a cost-benefit analysis, comparing all your last five years crime-fighting before going underground. Elastigirl's numbers are self-explanatory.
Bob: Well, it's not a fair comparison. "Heavyweight problems need heavyweight solutions".
Winston: Of course, we're gonna solve all kind of problems together, after the perfect launch with Elastigirl!
Evelyn: So, what do you say?
Helen: What do I say? [chuckles nervously] I... don't know.
[Bob is laying on the bed in a motel room, wearing pajamas]
Bob: [to Helen] What do you mean you "don't know"? A few hours ago, you were saying it was over and being a superhero was a fantasy. Now you get the offer of a lifetime and you don't know?
Helen: [in the bathroom, while brushing her teeth] It's not that simple, Bob. I wanna protect the kids.
Bob: So do I.
Helen: From jail, Bob!
Bob: And how do you do that? By turning down a chance to change the law that forced them to hide what they are?
Helen: [walks to the bed and lays down] They haven't decided what they are. They're still kids.
Bob: Kids with powers, which makes them Supers. Whether they decide to use those powers or not, this will benefit them.
Helen: Look, it's not a good time to be away. Dash is having trouble with homework. Vi's worried about her first date with that boy she likes, Tony. And Jack-Jack...
Bob: Jack-Jack? What's wrong with him?
Helen: Okay, nothing's wrong with Jack-Jack. But even a normal baby needs a lot of attention. I'm just not sure I can leave.
Bob: Of course, you can leave. You've got to, so that I — we can be Supers again. So our kids can have that choice.
Helen: [chuckles] So you can have that choice?
Bob: [angrily] All right, yes! So I can have that choice, and I would do a GREAT JOB! Regardless of what Deavor's pie charts say! [Sighs] But they want you. [With a deep breath] And you'll do... a great... job. Too.
Helen: [sarcastically] That was excruciating to watch. [Bob chuckles] I can't lie to you. It's nice to be wanted. Flattering, you know? But...
Bob: What's the choice? One: do this right, get well paid, we're out of the motel, and things get better for all Supers, including our kids. Or two: I find a job in two weeks or we're homeless.
Helen: [sighs] You know it's crazy, right? To help my family, I gotta leave it. To fix the law, I gotta break it.
Bob: You'll be great.
Helen: I know I will. But what about you? We have kids.
Bob: I'll watch the kids, no problem. Easy.
Helen: Easy, huh? You're adorable. Well, if there is a problem, I'll drop this thing and come right back.
Bob: You won't need to. I've got it. You go, do this thing! [Lays down] Do it so... [Under his breath] I can do it better. [Helen hits his face with a pillow]
[In Winston Deavor's office the phone is ringing. He picks it up].
Winston: Deavor here.
Helen: This is Elastigirl. I'm in.

View Quote Trish: What is this, your roofie, your date drug?
Andy: It's a Mentos. They're the fresh-maker.

View Quote Ebay store customer: So, I guess I'll just give you some money, and you can give me these shoes and--
Trish: You know, I know it seems so strange--
Ebay store customer: Yes. I'd just rather buy them from you straight up.
Trish: Yeah, I know. I wish it could be that easy, but--
Ebay store customer: I wish, too, but you're making it extremely difficult for me. I'm just trying to get these shoes back to my house so I can wear them.

View Quote Andy: God, you know, it's so funny. I work right across the street, and I've never been in this place.
Trish: Really? Where at?
Andy: Yeah. The "We Sell Your Stuff on eBay" store.
Trish: Yes.
Andy: And that's the name?
Trish: Yeah, I was looking for something... you know, obvious. So I chose that.
Andy: I don't understand. So, what, you do what?
Trish: Well, I take the stuff that you don't want... and then I "sell" it on eBay.
Andy: But you don't actually sell anything in the store?
Trish: No. I don't.
Andy: So why do you have a store?
Trish: I don't know.
Andy: No, I think it's because, you know, I wanna maybe look professional... and not like a crazy person who's just gonna steal all your shit.
Trish: Sure.
Andy: I didn't mean anything by that.
Trish: No, it's okay. You know what, you should come by sometime if you want, you know... see it for yourself, check it out.
Andy: I'll check out your empty store. Yeah, it's the one across the street that's not empty.
Trish: Here's my number. So...
Andy: All right. So, just anytime. Why do I need your number if you're across the street though?
Trish: I don't really have a good answer for that, Andy.
Andy: I just... Sorry. Just giving it to you. So I'll write you up, and I'll meet you over at the register.
Trish: Okay.
Andy: And check you out... Check out.

View Quote Sheldon: I'll be in my office, the big one with a view!
Nora: They all have views, you dumb shit!
Sheldon: Not looking this way, cupcake!

View Quote [Randolph mentions his long-ago affair with Nora]
Nora: That was a long time ago. I was young and stupid.
Randolph: And limber.

View Quote [After the ice show, Sheldon and Burke confront each other in the tunnel as Burke pulls out his gun and points at Sheldon.]
Burke: You pull a gun on me? A gun I gave you as a gift? Where's your etiquette? Let me tell you a little secret about owning a gun.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Burke: You have to **** it.
Nora: [aims the gun at Burke's head] Drop it, shithead!
[Burke turns to see Nora and drops his gun. Sheldon stands next to Nora and points the gun at Burke.]
Sheldon: Don't you move!
Nora: Sheldon.
Sheldon: You okay?
Nora: Yeah.
Sheldon: You...
Burke: Take it easy.
Sheldon: You were my agent. HOW COULD YOU SET ME UP LIKE THAT?!
Burke: It was just circumstances--
Sheldon: CIRCUMSTANCES?! YOU KILLED SPINNER, BURKE!!!
Burke: It was a tragic mistake. I wish I could turn back time.
Sheldon: He was my friend, you son of a bitch! [punches Burke]
Nora: Sheldon!
Sheldon: Get up! Get up and look at me!
Burke: What are you gonna do, shoot me?
Sheldon: Yeah!
Burke: That's not very Smoochy-like behavior.
Sheldon: [takes his Smoochy costume off] I don't feel very Smoochy-like right now, Burke!
Burke: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, Sheldon--
Sheldon: [grabs Burke by the shirt] I'll tell you something. You just **** with the wrong rhino, pal.

View Quote [Walks up to Arthur in police station on a rainy day] Jesus Christ, you couldn't get him an umbrella? [Pulls down Arthur to bench] Here, Arthur. [Licks thumb and dabs his face] Today we're meeting with Dr. Beatty. Remember her? She's gonna be videotaping you this time, so we can show it at your competency hearing next week. And if they find you competent, and they will, they always do, then we're going to trial. You need to be in an actual hospital with actual doctors. Not this Department of Corrections bullshit with these thugs. [Motions head to laughing officers down hallway] Dr. Beatty thinks that everything that happened to you in your childhood, it caused a split, this fragmentation in you, to help you cope with the pain. She believes you have another person living inside of you. And it was this other person who committed those crimes. Do you understand what that means, Arthur?

View Quote Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn: [Walks up to throng of reporters surrounding Maryanne in hallway] She's just a social worker. I don't think she's even qualified. You know, you're making him out to be a **** idiot in there. [Walks up to Maryanne] He's never gonna get out if you keep this shit up. Ask her why she has me sitting so far away from him.
Maryanne Stewart: Let's not do this here. Please?
Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn: Do you see all those people out front? Who do you think they're here for? How many t-shirts do you think Arthur Fleck is on? How many signs? It's the Trial of the Century and she doesn't even know who her own client is.
Maryanne Stewart: What do you mean by that? Can't you see how sick he is? How much help he needs? [Attempts to walk past]
Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn: [Grabs Maryanne] He's not sick! He's perfect!
Maryanne Stewart: You don't really think he's gonna just walk out of here, do you? [Walks away]
Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn: Yeah, he's gonna walk right out of here. With me by his side!
Reporter: And then what?
Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn: And then we're gonna build a mountain.
Reporter: A what?
Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn: From a little hill. [Walks away]
Reporters: What does that even mean? Are you going to get married?