"Why are you guys always dissing me? I'm a superhero too, you know! I have powers."
Mr. Furious
Ben Stiller · 34 quotes
The Shoveler
William H. Macy · 24 quotes
The Blue Raja
Hank Azaria · 23 quotes
The Bowler
Janeane Garofalo · 22 quotes
Casanova Frankenstein
Geoffrey Rush · 14 quotes
The Sphinx
Wes Studi · 14 quotes
Doctor Heller
Tom Waits · 11 quotes
Invisible Boy
Kel Mitchell · 11 quotes
Captain Amazing
Greg Kinnear · 7 quotes
The Spleen
Paul Reubens · 6 quotes
Tony P
Suzy Eddie Izzard · 5 quotes
Most scenes together: Mr. Furious & The Shoveler (8), Mr. Furious & The Blue Raja (8), The Shoveler & The Blue Raja (8)
Mystery Men quotes
Page 7 of 10"Yes, of course, you may absolutely bring za brewskies."
"You can't hurt me, Baby Bowler. 'Cause I'm protected by the god of hair care." ~ Tony P
"You guys just be sure to jump in when the action starts. You do your share, we'll keep you around."
"You keep dreaming... wanna-be!" ~ Officer Maguire
"You know, tooth decay and gingivitis can be a crime. That's why I use Mighty Whitey toothpaste. Because I want my teeth to look — Amazing!" ~ Captain Amazing in TV commercial
"You must be like the wolf pack... not like the six-pack."
"You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums."
(creepy, ominous dude at tryouts)
"I...am BALLERINA MAN!" ~Ballerina Man
I better get going. I've got a city to save.
Mom
Jeffrey? Do the accent.
Uh, well... [shifts to British accent] Well, I'd love to stay and chit-chat, Mother, but I fear I must away with me — our metropolis is in the clutches of madmen!
Mom
Jeff?
Yeah?
Mom
Cheerio.
Thanks, Mom.
Sphinx, what do we do?
Sometimes, the true hero is the one with the courage to run away.
I like the way this man thinks!
Let's run.
We can't run.
Oh, yes! Oh, yes — it's been established that we can run.
Have you ever heard of Carmine the Bowler?
Have we ever heard...
Cor blimey, miss, don't tell us you're the Bowler's daughter!
I seem to remember there being a little controversy around his death.
That's right. The police said it was an accident. He'd come home late one night and fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
You know, I've always suspected a bit of foul play.
As have I.
So you're a British man who converted to Islam, sort of like Cat Stevens?
No. Until the early part of this century, India was in fact part of the British Empire, whose government there was called the British Raj after the Hindi word for "sovereignty". Furthermore —
Wait — so sorry. [to her bowling ball] What? DAD! No, he's not a commie, nor a fruit. [to the Blue Raja] Sorry. His ignorance embarrasses me.
Sorry, but am I to understand that you've inserted your father's skull inside of that... ball for bowling?
No. The guy at the pro shop did it.
Listen, I really think we need to talk about your plans here.
You know my plans, Lancie. Tomorrow night... I'm going to kill you.
Right. That's the part that really doesn't work for me.
Lookee here — a multi-frequency radio detonator! You really should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.
Oh, no, no, no, no. This is an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.
Yeah? What is it? [the gizmo emits a spurt of vapor into his face] Yuck!
It's a chloroform-deploying enticement snare.
Aw, DANG! [he collapses]
Poor Lancie. You really are so predictable.