VP Vic the publicist
I think right now we should focus on the positive. Tonight was good.
Captain Amazing
Yeah - you think so? 'Cause I was worried it was, um, I don't know... PATHETIC! "Amazing triumphs at a nursing home"? That's great copy, Vic.
V Vic
Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician. You want big news, you have to have big fights. A superhero needs a supervillain. And thanks to you, we've got none left.
Captain Amazing
Then get... the... Death Man!
Captain Amazing
Okay — Father Doom.
V Vic
Life without parole. Apocalypta's doing fifty years. Armagezzmo's in exile. Baron von Chaos got the chair —
Captain Amazing
Really?
V Vic
Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nut-house.
Captain Amazing
Casanova Frankenstein - now there was a supervillain! You know, he just... he's got those eyes, you know? I can't do it, but... and that voice! Such pure evil! The battles we used to have — extraordinary!
V Vic
"Used to." That's the problem, Captain. "Used to."
Casanova Frankenstein
Captain Amazing — what a surprise.
Captain Amazing
Really? I'm not so sure about that. Your first night of freedom and you blow up the asylum. Interesting choice. I knew you couldn't change.
Casanova
I knew you'd know that.
Captain Amazing
Oh, I know. And I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
Casanova
But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know that?
Captain Amazing
... Of course.
Captain Amazing
We've always been each other's greatest nemesises... uh, nemesee... wh-what's the plural on that?
Casanova Frankenstein
[Wearily]
Nemeses.
Captain Amazing
Whatever. You're going to prison for life this time, Casanova. You see, here in Champion City we still do a fairly brisk trade... in justice.
Casanova
I thought it was all about publicity and keeping your sponsors happy.
Captain Amazing
See, it's that kind of cynicism that I truly feel is starting to poison society.
Captain Amazing
Lookee here — a multi-frequency radio detonator! You really should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.
Casanova Frankenstein
Oh, no, no, no, no. This is an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.
Captain Amazing
Yeah? What is it? [the gizmo emits a spurt of vapor into his face] Yuck!
Casanova
It's a chloroform-deploying enticement snare.
Captain Amazing
Aw, DANG! [he collapses]
Casanova
Poor Lancie. You really are so predictable.
The Shoveler
[Rescuing Captain Amazing]
Captain, I'm just going to ask you directly; do you know billionaire Lance Hunt?
Captain Amazing
It's me. [Shoveler looks surprised and disappointed] Nah, I'm only kiddin' ya - I always wanted to do that.
Captain Amazing
[Rescuing Captain Amazing from Casanova's weapon of mass destruction]
Now flip the second toggle.
The Bowler
[Having already flipped on his instructions once]
... Again?
Captain Amazing
What do you mean?
The Bowler
Flip the toggle twice?
Captain Amazing
No-no-no, don't do that, just flip it again, now, one time! Flip it.
The Bowler
[To Mr. Furious]
... Does he understand what I'm asking?
Mr. Furious
Hold on a second - Captain, exactly how many toggle flips in toto are involved in this procedure?
Captain Amazing
[Flustered]
I just - I - Seven!
Mr. Furious
[Incredulous]
Seven?!
Captain Amazing
[A little hysterical]
Flip it!!
The Bowler
[The weapon begins to hum omniously and increasingly loudly]
Hold the phone! Everybody hold the phone. You phrased that incorrectly. We need to know how many toggle flips are needed not counting the gratuitous toggle flip you may have asked for in a moment of panic.
Captain Amazing
[Very hysterical]
FLIP IT!!!
Mr. Furious
Okay, you know what, can we just start again? Is there like a reset button on this thing or something?
Captain Amazing
No you little freak, there's no button for resetting! Flip the switch, lady! Don't look at me, lift your left arm and flip it, you moron!
The Bowler
[Offended]
Whoa! I am not a moron.
Captain Amazing
You're a moron! You're a moron! Flip the switch, lady!
Mr. Furious
[Gently rebuking]
Hey, don't call her a moron, that's not cool...
The Bowler
Thank you!
BR Blue Raj
[Fed up]
I'll do it! I'll do it! It's this one, yes?
The Bowler
No!
Captain Amazing
[Blue Raj flips the wrong switch - the weapon activates]
Uh-oh - wrong switch.
Mr. Furious
[The weapon kills Captain Amazing in a horrific and grotesque fashion as the Mystery Men watch, appalled]
... Everybody heard me say 'reset button', right?
Blue Raja
[Horrified]
Oh my God... Oh my God, we've killed him...
The Shoveler
What do you mean, 'we'? I was right here.
The Bowler
[The Bowler approaches Amazing's fried, calcified and mutated corpse cautiously]
I'm gonna check his pulse...
The Bowler
[She gently touches his wrist; it breaks off from his arm and smashes into pieces on the floor]
... I don't think he's gonna pull through.
