Mr. Furious "I will keep dreaming! I will keep dreaming, my friend! And when I wake up you better hope, you better hope you're... asleep!"
Played by Ben Stiller 
Mystery Men (1999) · 142 quotes
Mystery Men (1999) · 142 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mystery Men (1999): in 34 of its 142 quotes
Most scenes with: The Shoveler (8), The Blue Raja (8), The Bowler (4)
"Don't mess with the volcano, my man, 'cause I will go Pompeii on your... butt."
More lines from Mr. Furious
19 quotes Mr. Furious Mr. Furious "Okay, let's all be little automaton droids and believe everything we hear on TV."
Mr. Furious "Well, I am a ticking time bomb of fury."
Mr. Furious "I guess tonight the lone wolf hunts... alone."
Mr. Furious "Ooh — Mama Pajama! What kind of crazy-man blows up a crazy-house?"
Mr. Furious "In my opinion, which used to matter around here, we shouldn't be flinging new memberships at every guy who puts together a pair of matching gloves and boots."
Mr. Furious "Do yourself a favor and don't punch my clock 'cause I'm a Pantera's box you do not wanna open!"
Mr. Furious "I don't need a compass to know which way the wind shines!"
Mr. Furious "I guess from now on I ride in a wolfpack of one."
Mr. Furious "Do you think there's a really angry way I could say I'm sorry?"
Mr. Furious "I just wanted to say that I had a really great time tonight, and you were really nice to me, and I would love to, uh, take you out some time. But if I don't call you I just want you to know that it's because I'm dead."
Mr. Furious "I must have ripped the Q section out of my dictionary, 'cause I don't know the meaning of the word 'quit'!"
Mr. Furious [When asked by a reporter what his name and power is]
"Hi, my name's Roy, and I'm in a super amount of pain right now."
Mr. Furious "People who don't close their mouths when they chew make me... furious!"
Mr. Furious "Well here I thought I was with a couple of real superheroes, the Shoveller and the Blue Raja! But really, it's Lazy Boy and... and... the recliner! Lazy Boy and the Recliner!"
Mr. Furious Guys, are you coming? Are you--great. Okay, fine.I guess tonight the lone wolf hunts alone.[hurts his crotch while trying to start up his motorcycle] Ow..testicles rising..can't breathe...can't breathe.
Mr. Furious Let's go see what's shaking at the chez casa Casanova.
Mr. Furious Sweet dreams, lilac.
Mr. Furious "Frack-u-later"...Franken-Puss!
Scenes with Mr. Furious
14 scenes
[When Mr. Furious suggests they employ a publicist]
What are we gonna publicise, Roy? The fact that we get our butts kicked? A lot?
Mr. Furious [Annoyed]
Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with a shovel every time we went out, we'd have a few more victories to brag about.
All right now, I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.
Oh, oh — I get it! So your shovel in his face is my fault?
You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.
Mr. Furious Yeah, what was up with that?
I-I, I'm embarrassed about that. I thought it was a fork.
You're the master of cutlery. You couldn't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?
No, I can't! You couldn't, ah, use a rake sometimes?
No. I'm the Shoveler.
Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy — I'm the Blue Raja.
Mr. Furious Yeah, that's another thing.
Mr. Furious Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything but blue.
Well, if we could just step out of our literal minds, just for a moment.
Oh yeah, well, maybe if we had a billionaire benefactor like Lance Hunt, then we could afford some advertising.
Mr. Furious I think that's because Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, don't start that again! Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses.
Mr. Furious [Long-suffering]
He takes them off when he transforms.
That doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't be able to see!
Mr. Furious Do you see what I see?
It's Tony C!
And Tony P, leader of the Disco Boys! But what, pray tell, would he be doing back in town?
Mr. Furious Maybe it's time to do some following to find out.
What do we got here?
Tony C
I think they're supposed to be jive superheroes.
Well, they made a big mistake coming to Casanova's place. [he draws a gun; the heroes snicker.] What's so funny?
Mr. Furious That's it? That's your power? You have guns? Couldn't you be a little more creative than that?
Pardon the impertinence, guv'nor, but what the devil does a pistol have to do with disco?
Disco Boy
It's a Saturday Night Special.
Mr. Furious Weak.
At best. [more Disco Boys arrive, armed with a variety of blunt instruments.]
Check out the guy with the pipe. What are you, the Disco Plumber?
There's no theme at all here, mates!
Mr. Furious I mean, if you're gonna carry a chain, at least make it a gold chain, and that's just off the top of my head... [To Tony C] Yo, what's up, Tiger Lily?
Tony C
Top of your head, huh?
[The Disco Boys beat the heroes up]
Have you ever heard of Carmine the Bowler?
Have we ever heard...
Cor blimey, miss, don't tell us you're the Bowler's daughter!
Mr. Furious I seem to remember there being a little controversy around his death.
That's right. The police said it was an accident. He'd come home late one night and fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
You know, I've always suspected a bit of foul play.
As have I.
Mr. Furious Do yourself a favor and don't punch my clock, 'cause I'm a Pantera's box you do not wanna open.
It is 'Pandora'.
Mr. Furious Uh, please don't correct me. It sickens me.
Mr. Furious [As a training exercise, Mr. Furious is trying to balance a small hammer on his head]
Why am I doing this again?
When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
Mr. Furious And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?
I don't remember telling you to do that.
Mr. Furious [Arguing with the Sphinx's clich?d speeches]
Okay. Am I the only one who finds these sayings just a bit formulaic? "If you wanna put something down, you gotta pick it up". "If you wanna go left, you gotta go right". It's...
Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage —
Mr. Furious Your rage will become your master? [The Sphinx freezes, caught] That's what you were gonna say, right? Right?
... Not necessarily.
[Rescuing Captain Amazing from Casanova's weapon of mass destruction]
Now flip the second toggle.
What do you mean?
Flip the toggle twice?
No-no-no, don't do that, just flip it again, now, one time! Flip it.
Mr. Furious Hold on a second - Captain, exactly how many toggle flips in toto are involved in this procedure?
Mr. Furious [Incredulous]
Seven?!
[The weapon begins to hum omniously and increasingly loudly]
Hold the phone! Everybody hold the phone. You phrased that incorrectly. We need to know how many toggle flips are needed not counting the gratuitous toggle flip you may have asked for in a moment of panic.
Mr. Furious Okay, you know what, can we just start again? Is there like a reset button on this thing or something?
No you little freak, there's no button for resetting! Flip the switch, lady! Don't look at me, lift your left arm and flip it, you moron!
You're a moron! You're a moron! Flip the switch, lady!
Mr. Furious [Gently rebuking]
Hey, don't call her a moron, that's not cool...
Thank you!
Blue Raj
[Fed up]
I'll do it! I'll do it! It's this one, yes?
No!
Mr. Furious [The weapon kills Captain Amazing in a horrific and grotesque fashion as the Mystery Men watch, appalled]
... Everybody heard me say 'reset button', right?
What do you mean, 'we'? I was right here.
[The Bowler approaches Amazing's fried, calcified and mutated corpse cautiously]
I'm gonna check his pulse...
[She gently touches his wrist; it breaks off from his arm and smashes into pieces on the floor]
... I don't think he's gonna pull through.
[Escaping Casanova Frankenstein's mansion after bungling the rescue]
Where's Captain Amazing?
Raja murdered him!
Mr. Furious [They begin to squabble]
Guys? I think we have a bigger fish to fry right now.
[The other heroes try to help Mr. Furious regain his anger-feuled super powers.]
Come on, somebody do something! We need him!
Okay, let's do this. You're a very furious man. Do you understand that?
Mr. Furious No.
No? Well, you've got a lot to be furious about, and I'll tell you why. You're - not well-liked. You're, uh, abrasive and off-putting. You try to say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance... so therefore nothing is provacative, it's just mixed metaphors. Now doesn't that make you angry? Does it infuriate you?
Mr. Furious No.
Well, it should! Are you angry? Come ON, man!
Your penmanship is atrocious!
You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.
Mr. Furious Who?
The Sphinx.
Yeah, I've heard of this guy. He's a big crime-fighter down east.
Mr. Furious What's his power?
Well, he's terribly mysterious.
Mr. Furious That's it? That's his power, he's mysterious?
He's TERRIBLY mysterious, actually.
Yeah, plus he can cut guns in half with his mind.
Really? I hadn't heard that.
Mr. Furious (At the final battle with Casanova)
Rage... taking over...
Ya, ya, ya. We've heard all that before.
Mr. Furious No, no, no... Rage... really taking over...
Monica What's your name?
Mr. Furious D-do you mean my secret identity? 'Cause I couldn't...
Monica No, I just mean your name.
Mr. Furious My name. Ummm... wow. Okay... It's...Phoenix... Phoenix Dark... Dirk... Phoenix... Dark Dirk. I was christened Dirk Steel and then I changed it to Phoenix...
Monica Forget about it. It's okay.
Mr. Furious It's Roy! That's... that's my name. My... my real name's Roy.
Monica Just. Be. Roy.
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