No pink eye for me. I'm just really high!
Ben Stone
Seth Rogen · 24 quotes
Fantasy Baseball Guy
20 quotes
Debbie
Leslie Mann · 15 quotes
Jonah
Jonah Hill · 15 quotes
Ben
Seth Rogen · 13 quotes
Allison Scott
12 quotes
Alison
Katherine Heigl · 8 quotes
Jason
Jason Segel · 7 quotes
Jay
Jay Baruchel · 7 quotes
Martin
Martin Starr · 5 quotes
Doorman
Craig Robinson · 3 quotes
Sadie
Maude Apatow · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Ben Stone & Fantasy Baseball Guy (10), Ben Stone & Ben (9), Fantasy Baseball Guy & Ben (9)
Knocked Up quotes
Page 5 of 6Oh God, they go apeshit over bubbles. I mean, that’s an incredible thing about a child. What’s so great about bubbles? I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles. It’s totally sad; their smiling faces point out your inability to enjoy anything.
See ya... Scorcese on coke
She like'a da way ya dick taste.
Steely Dan can gargle my balls.
Thanks for the free money, bitch.
That my friend, is how you get pink eye.
There are FIVE different kinds of chairs in this hotel room.
Was your vagina drunk?! Did you think it's the thinnest condom on Earth I have on, I'm a **** inventor?! I made a dick-skin condom?! "He hollowed out a penis and put it on." What the ****?!
Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.
You are a funny mother****er man. Jesus, how can you fight with him? Look at his face, I just want to kiss it.
You can't buy shit! You can barely buy spaghetti!
You don't know who Doc Brown is? He invented the DeLorean.
You haven't had to sacrifice anything! I've had to sacrifice my job, my body, my youth, my vagina.
You know what? I know this isn't you talking, it's your hormones, but I would just like to say, "**** you, hormones! You are a crazy bitch, hormones!" Not Alison, hormones. **** 'em. It's a girl, buy some pink shit.