"Great, give me that line".
Ben Stone
Seth Rogen · 24 quotes
Fantasy Baseball Guy
20 quotes
Debbie
Leslie Mann · 15 quotes
Jonah
Jonah Hill · 15 quotes
Ben
Seth Rogen · 13 quotes
Allison Scott
12 quotes
Alison
Katherine Heigl · 8 quotes
Jason
Jason Segel · 7 quotes
Jay
Jay Baruchel · 7 quotes
Martin
Martin Starr · 5 quotes
Doorman
Craig Robinson · 3 quotes
Sadie
Maude Apatow · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Ben Stone & Fantasy Baseball Guy (10), Ben Stone & Ben (9), Fantasy Baseball Guy & Ben (9)
Knocked Up quotes
Page 1 of 6(After Jay has announced that he has shaved his pubic area)
What the ****, man?! If I go in there and see **** pubes sprinkled all over the toilet seat, I'm gonna **** lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a **** stuffed animal!
BOOBS! BOOBS and BUSH!
Alriiight, credit bush! That's the best, we're not even five minutes in.
I'm pregnant.
**** off!
What?
What?
I'm pregnant.
Pregnant... with emotion?
Pregnant with a baby.
I'm sorry I told you to **** your bong.
It's okay... I didn't...
What if this was our second date, what would we do?
BJ?
I'd like to be in there with Alison without you.
OK. I understand how you feel, but this isn't up to you.
Look, Debbie. You are high off your ass if you think you're coming into that room. If you take one step towards that door, I will tell security there's a crazy chick in a pink dress snatching up babies, OK? So don't even try to come into that room, that's my room now. That little area with the Pepsi machine, that's your area. My room, your area. Stay in your area, stay out of my room. Back... the... ****... off.
Where have you been?
Oh, you know... Around.
Why is everyone so mad at you?
They are? What are they saying?
Oh, you know. Blah, blah, blah. Ben's a prick. What's that mean?
Penis. It means penis.
Penis. [Sadie nods her head and then giggles]
Do you want to do it doggie style?
No I do not want you to **** me like a dog.
It's doggie style. It's just in the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.
I'm naked...
Hmm...
Did we have sex?
Yeah.
Nice.
Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
And a little bit Spanish...?
Yeah, I'm not very good with impressions.
I assumed you were wearing a patch, or like a, like a dental dam, or one of those ****in' butterfly clips or something--
What? What the hell is a dental dam?
It's like saran wrap, it's disgusting, but I thought you had one!
Okay, then let's go see Spiderman 3 next week.
I don't wanna see Spiderman! I don't want to have to ask you to ask me!! I want you to think of it yourself!
Look, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to you.
You think that just because you don't yell, you're not mean?! This is mean!!
Hey, I have a great idea. Why don't the two of you go into your time machines and go back in time and **** each other?
Who needs a time machine?
I'm gonna throw you into my De Lorean, gun it to 88!